Disclaimer:  I do not own Inuyasha.

Author's Notes:  If you've seen my author page, you know that I'm usually a DBZ writer.  Actually, I feel more comfortable with DBZ.  However, I've been watching a lot of Inuyasha lately, and I've just gotten in the mood to do something with our little hanyou.  This is mostly a parody of a certain aspect of Inuyasha.  I hope all you Inuyasha fans will take it in the right spirit.

The Real Reason Why Inuyasha and Kagome Started Out with Problems

Fifty years earlier, though it seemed like only a month to the hanyou that had stayed catatonic for so long, Inuyasha had found it hard to fall in love.  But now…

Inuyasha smiled when Kagome wasn't looking.  They were taking a break from traveling, something that he didn't need, but he could tell that she and Shippo did.  Though right now Kagome was not taking full advantage of the rest time.  She was taking out her frustration through target practice.  Of course, the frustrations came from him eating their entire supply of ramen…

Inuyasha couldn't help but admire the growing confidence with which she drew back the bow.  It was somehow even more admirable that her aim was not improving in the least.  But it was the determination that got him.  In those instances, with her eyes narrowed in concentration, she looked exactly like Kikyo.

Inuyasha looked away, noting vaguely that Shippo was already taking advantage of the break in the form of a nap in the sun.  The hanyou almost wanted to follow the other demon to sleep, but he couldn't.  The constant twang and occasional thok was enough to keep him wide awake.

He laid back.  He couldn't help but think of Kikyo whenever he looked at Kagome.  He knew that it freaked her out.  He could tell by the obvious way she edged away from him and the panicky look she got on her face, dispelling all similarities between her and the miko he had loved.  But still, he couldn't get over it.  After all, if this was really Kikyo's soul reincarnated…

No.  He couldn't think of that.  Kagome was a completely different person.  She was weak, panicky, and talked really funny about things that he didn't understand.  She lived in a weird place with tall buildings, wore funny clothes that looked like they were cut too short, and she rode on a weird metal… whatever it was.  She was constantly complaining about shampoo and studying.  Her voice was loud and grating, and her smell was completely different.



Inuyasha winces as Kagome hit the tree dead on.  He almost wished that she hadn't chosen to learn the bow.

Sure, he convinced her to do so, thinking that Kikyo's abilities would be inherent in her soul.  She did have miko abilities, even if she didn't have an aim worth anything.

But Kikyo had shot him with an arrow.

Enough!  I can't keep comparing her to Kikyo.  She's not Kikyo.  Kikyo killed me.  Kagome… resurrected me.  Kikyo is dead in the ground. Kagome is…

That was the difference.  Kagome was alive, and as close to Kikyo as he could get.  In fact, she practically was Kikyo.

Inuyasha shook his head, dispelling his overturning thoughts.  Things were better when he didn't think.  He hadn't thought with Kikyo… beyond just loving her.  It ended badly, but things were good for a while.

And maybe he could find that goodness with Kagome.

Inuyasha's eyes hardened, having made the decision.  He would tell Kagome how he felt.  Kagome already knew it, but she wouldn't believe it until he actually told her, much less act upon it.

Kagome was putting her bow down, rubbing her sore arm.  She was like Kikyo, but her body was weak from not doing enough with it in her country.  Inuyasha smiled.  She was getting stronger, though.

"Kagome," he said, trying to sound nonchalant.

Kagome turned in almost surprise.  She let an arrow drop to the ground as her pupils vibrated.  "Inuyasha?  What is it?"

Inuyasha voice dropped, his eyes softening slightly.  Kagome backed away, getting freaked out by his change in his normally harsh demeanor… just as she always did.  Inuyasha wondered how she would react to what he was going to say to her.

"Kagome," he began uncertainly, "… I… know I haven't always been nice to you…"

Kagome's eyes widened to the size of onions.  "What are you saying, Inuyasha?"

Inuyasha cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably.  He didn't look away, though.  "I… I… love you, Kagome."

Kagome gasped audibly, her eyes going even wider.  Inuyasha blinked several times, waiting as patiently as possible for the shock to turn to a favorable response.

Kagome's moving mouth finally formed words.  "What is Inuyasha saying to me?  Is he really in love with me?  That's the first time a boy has said those words to me.  He is very serious right now… he won't look away from me.  What does that look mean?  It is very scary… I don't think that I can bear it much longer.  He's looking at me like he looks at me when he thinks that I look like Kikyo.  That's right… he's still in love with Kikyo, even though he doesn't admit it.  I wonder why he's still looking at me like that.  He's giving me that look.  I don't know why.  But Kikyo is the one that killed him.  She shot an arrow and bound him to that tree… the sacred tree from grandfather's temple.  But then I woke him up, and I had to feel his ears.  They felt funny.  But he wasn't awake then.  He woke up when that mononoke attacked me for the Shikon no Tama.  It was in my body, but I didn't know until then.  So I took out Inuyasha's arrow, and he defeated the mononoke, but then he tried to steal the Shikon no Tama from me, so I had to run.  But then Kaede put a rosary around him to make him sit when I yell 'Sit!'"

Inuyasha hit the ground hard in a flash of light.  Kagome didn't notice.

"And then that bird stole the Shikon no Tama, but I stopped it with an arrow, only to break apart the Shikon no Tama into the shards that we're collecting now.  Shippo-chan wasn't with us then, but he joined up with us soon after.  Or is Shippo-chan a she?  We're doing great in all these battles for the Shikon shards, because Inuyasha is a hanyou.  I didn't know what that meant at first, but I think it's because Inuyasha's father is a youkai and Inuyasha's mother is a human, therefore he would be half youkai and half human, making him a hanyou.  Inuyasha is very strong because Inuyasha's father is a youkai, but Inuyasha is very gentle because Inuyasha's mother is a human.  That does not make him a youkai, or a human, but a hanyou.  Then he is able to carry Tetsusaiga, made from his father's fang, who is a youkai.  But his mother is a human, so he is able to hold Tetsusaiga.  His brother is a youkai, which means Sesshomaru's father is a youkai and Sesshomaru's mother is a youkai, therefore Sesshomaru is a youkai.  Inuyasha's mother and Sesshomaru's mother is not the same person.  So Sesshomaru is not as nice as Inuyasha, because Sesshomaru's father is a youkai and Sesshomaru's mother is a youkai, so he does not have human in him, and is therefore not as nice.  But Inuyasha's mother is a human, so he is nicer than Sesshomaru, who is a youkai, and does not have a human mother.  And…"

"Forget it!!!!"

Inuyasha turned, disgusted with his choice.  Really, how could he ever hope to form a relationship with the girl if all she ever did was recall their former adventures in flashbacks, angst over his past with Kikyo, and strive to grasp the intricacies of him being a half-breed.

"I am just a normal junior high school girl, until I fell into a mystical well and was transported to feudal Japan, where…"

"Are you finished?!" Inuyasha yelled at her.  "Do you even remember what I said earlier?  I can't believe I even stay around you."

Kagome cocked her head in confusion.  "Was it something I said?"

Inuyasha suddenly made a gesture so crude that it would kill a Funimation censor.

Kagome's head turned bright red from anger, steam emitting from her ears.  "Inuyasha…" she said in warning.  "SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT!!!!!!!"

When the dust cleared, Inuyasha's eyes were in loose spirals, and little bitty ramen cups were circling his head.

Kagome sat down with a huff.  "Stupid Inuyasha," she said in a mutter.  "He's always like that, ever since I met him when I first traveled back to feudal Japan.  I shouldn't come back here, anyway.  I'm really getting behind in my studies.  I'll never get in a good high school at this rate, for I am just a normal junior high school student who was unexpectedly transported back to feudal Japan, a place and time filled with youkai, mononoke, and onis.  But I am on a quest for the shards of the Shikon no Tama, something that I accidentally broke with an arrow, along with Inuyasha, who is a hanyou, which means Inuyasha's father is a youkai and Inuyasha's mother is…"

Kagome suddenly stopped as she was hit from behind by a big wooden mallet.  She joined Inuyasha in unconsciousness.

Shippo dusted off his (her?) hands and smiled.  "There… now I can get some sleep."

Shippo walked over to the bicycle to lay down.  "What was Inuyasha thinking anyway?  They'll never get together.  She'll bore him to death first."

But Shippo wasn't so sure.  Needless to say, he fell asleep to dreams of entire series of having to endure Kagome's narration…


Author's Notes:  Yes, I know that Shippo is a boy.  But he wears a ponytail, for goodness sake!  And they use the suffix "chan," instead of "kun," which would be used for a boy.  At least he's not as androgynous as the DBZ character Puar, whose gender is still being actively contested among fanfiction circles.