Crooked and Unpaved
DISCLAMIER: I don't own Wolf's Rain. And I'm sure you already knew that.
"As I make my slow pilgrimage though the world, a certain sense of beautiful mystery seems to gather and grow."-A. C. Benson
I hate being the smallest. I hate being the slowest. And I really hate being the weakest. No matter what I do I could never help anyone do anything. I feel useless and unwanted. I feel left out and pushed aside, and to top it all off. Kiba wants me to go and search for food.
I kicked another rock on the dirt path I was walking on. I pushed my hands in my pockets and stared at the starless sky of dark blue. It made no sense for them to make me look for food. We all knew there was none in this area.
I sat down on the dry dead earth and waited for the moon to appear. Tonight for some reason I felt so numb. So blain to the world, that stood directly in front of me. It was like a switch in my brain was turned 'off' for feelings tonight.
I played with my bracelets on my wrists. Some how I was enjoying the slight 'cling, cling' noise it made. I continued this until the red ringed moon stood high in the sky signaling late night.
"I should get back." I turned around and stared down the dark dirt path I walked from just a few hours ago. For some reason, I didn't want to go back. I didn't see Kiba's cold stare. I didn't want to deal with Hige sick sense of humor or his loud hungry stomach. And most of all I didn't want to see Tsume's golden eyes as he scolded me, like a young child for being out too late. No, I didn't want to go that way at all.....
I turned around and stood in the opposite direction, the one with new beginnings the one with a future untold. I looked down that dark path, and begin to run.
I don't know how long I was running or where I was going to run, or what I was going to do when I got there. As I continued to run wise thoughts swim in my head.
What about the others?
What if they are worried?
But as each thought came to me, I let it fly away. I had to get away. I had to go on my own. They would hardly realize I was gone.
My legs were starting to burn. I turned my head towards the sky and realized as redden sun had rose. I was running all night. I stopped at a large rock and leaned my small body against it. Even if I wanted to go back I could not anymore. I had no idea which way I had came from. And for some reason I didn't care. I didn't care if I never saw those guys again.
I sat all the way down and closed my eyes. I was tired, and my body was begging for sleep so I let it take me over, into a black nothingness.
I kept on feeling this annoying poking in my shoulder while I sleep. I rolled over and mumbled something along the lines of 'stop'. and just as I was once again about to consumed in peaceful darkness, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Who could possibly be poking me? I'm out here by myself....
I cautiously opened my eyes and sat up to stare to in a pair of gold.
"ahhh!!" I yelled as I jumped back only to smack into the rock behind me.
"What are you doing kid?" Tsume asked, anger heavily in his hard voice. I signed and looked up at him. To tell the truth I had no idea what I was doing.
"I have no idea." I said truthfully.
"WHAT!" he yelled. He calmed himself down, and combed his fingers thought his white/silver hair. And sat down next to me.
"Were you running away?" Tsume asked quietly. A little too quietly.
"Yes...you could say that." I said, for some reason I was not nervous or had my usual shyness.
"Why?" he again asked way to softly.
"I-I just wanted to get away..." I stopped and looked at light blue sky. "I didn't want to be there anymore." I finished.
I got this feeling that Tsume didn't want me to go. Like he already knew what I was doing, but asking just to hear me say it.
"What were you planning to do on your own? Reach Paradise?" He spoke with a under tone of harshness. This was the Tsume I knew. The one with the cold golden eyes.
"I don't know." I said again. Doesn't he get it. Doesn't he realize I really don't know.
I turned to look him in his face and he was looking directly at me, or more likely looking directly though me.
"You know Kiba, Hige, and myself have been looking all night for you..." again he had that too soft voice.
"Is that what it is Toboe? Do you think we don't care what happens to you."
I looked up at the sun and thought his words over. Am I really doing this because I believe they don't care for me?...NO it's not that. Then what is it? What makes me want to run away from the people who have some how became my family? I just don't know, I just don't know...
I felt pressure on my chin, and comprehended that Tsume had taken my chin in his hands and turned my face towards his.
There was a long pregnant silence, till Tsume eyes darkened.
I jumped at the sudden change, and tried to jerk my head away from his hand.
But he held on tightly.
"You are not going anywhere." Tsume stated in a demanding voice. A voice that held no argument.
But I was not giving up.
I jumped away from him. But in the process his nail cut at the skin of my chin.
I stand a good few feet away from him. My chin dripping blood, but I hardly felt the pain. I hardly felt the pain at all...
But Tsume looked at his hand then to my bleeding face. He eyes softened.
He took a step forward. His mouth was opened like he was going to say something again. But I took a step back, equaling the space between us before. He shut his mouth and gave me an angry stare. Doesn't he get it . Doesn't he get it yet!
"What is wrong with you!" he yelled.
I didn't stay to grace him with an answer. I turned as soon as he said those words and ran blindly. I didn't know if he was following me, but I didn't care. I just ran.
I was running for a good five minutes before a hard force collated with me from behind. Making me roughly fall to the hard ground. I knew before at I turned to look that it would be him.
"Won't you just let me go!!" I cried as I tried to get out of his grip. Somehow he had managed to get both of my hands pined above my head. His big body pressed against my own.
He bent his head and towards my ear.
"You can't run from me." he whispered to me. I quickly stopped all my struggles and looked up at him. He licked the cut on my chin tenderly.
"What?" I asked shaky voice. Tsume was acting too weird to be normal. He lifted his face away from mine, and looked me straight in the eye. Time stopped then and there. As I felt a sudden chill in the back of my spine.
He bent down again but this time his lips reached mine. It first started out as a soft small kiss. But as time went on it became more hungry, more demanding, and I realized this is what I needed. At some point my arms had were around his neck, and hands were in my hair. We break apart. Realizing we needed air. I looked up at Tsume face . His eyes were partly closed and his face was flushed. But a lone thought lingered in my head: this is what bliss feels like.
I softly pushed him off of me so we were both sitting up.
"I'm still going Tsume." I said a little unsteadily. The make-out session had clearly affected me.
"Where?" he asked quietly. His arms were now around my waist. He was lightly rubbing in a circular motion.
"I don't know." I said again. I stared in his golden eyes and realized I could never live another day without swimming in to those pools of gold.
I slowly stood up and started to walk in the direction I was running towards before, just a few minutes ago.
I knew Tsume was coming with me, I could hear his light footsteps behind me.
Where am I going you say? I don't know right now, but I do know I am running away......
What do you think? I think it came out okay. Maybe if a lot of people really like this fic, I might right another chapter. We will see. Now would you please review for me?