1Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings. I do not own Rivendell. Or Elrond. I own . . . a copy of the books that I have read a million times. That's it. My parents own the movie. :)

Author's Note: Yes, I am making fun of Elrond. And Gandalf. And Frodo. And Gollum. And everyone else. Except Aragorn. He gets made fun of enough because of his hair.

Chapter One

"Elrond, we need more chairs!" Gandalf called to his friend across the room. Everything was ready for council except the chairs. They'd had a few unexpected guests. Boromir had brought his brother, Faramir. Eowyn had come from Rohan and Grima had insisted on escorting her. Haldir had come from Lorien. Merry and Pippin, as well, had, unknown to everyone else, found themselves an interesting companion.

"What?" Elrond asked in astonishment. "I just . . . you didn't invite any of these people, did you?" he asked, noticing the . . . um . . . extras standing in the hall.

Gandalf looked sheepishly at Elrond and started whistling 'Roads go ever on.' Elrond got the point. He sighed. "Nice going, Mithrandir," he whispered. Then, out loud, "Well, there's nothing we can do now. Go tell Erestor to get some more chairs."

Later . . . . .

"Strangers from distant lands, friends of old, some of you have been summoned here to answer the threat of Mordor. The rest of you came anyway." Elrond glanced suspiciously at Grima, who was glancing suspiciously at everyone else. A couple seats away, Faramir sat with his brother, Boromir. The younger son of Denethor was all smiles, for he had convinced his older brother to let him sit near the Elves–specifically, Haldir, who had on one of the most serious faces Legolas, who was next to him, had ever seen.

Elrond was still a little annoyed with the rearrangement of the seating order. He'd originally wanted the Dwarves next to the Elves, in a token of their new alliance, but a Dwarf named Gimli had insisted on not sitting with Elves. The Dwarves were not on the right-hand side of the room. The Men were next, and then the Elves. On the very left were Gandalf and Frodo.

Elrond continued. "Middle-Earth stands upon the brink of destruction.. None can escape it–"

Haldir politely raised his hand. "Excuse me, lord Elrond, but the Elves can escape. We sail over the Sea."

Faramir smiled. He had been about to say the same thing. Legolas made a point of rolling his eyes.

"Some of us aren't going, Haldir," Elrond reminded him. Legolas nodded. "You will unite or you will fall. Each race is bound to this fate, this one doom."

Pippin glanced at his and Merry's companion, wondering what race he was.

"What's the young Hobbit-breath staring at, Precious?"

"Nothin'" Pippin answered immediately, not wishing to upset their friend and give away their hiding place.

"Legolas," Haldir whispered. "Very quickly ad very quietly, go get your bow, and bring mine, too."

"I'll get them," whispered Faramir, who had overheard. He rose, bowed to Elrond, and quickly made an exit.

Elrond, trying to ignore everything else, decided the only thing to do was continue and hope for the best. "Bring forth the Ring, Frodo," he said, turning to the Hobbit on his left.

"That's not a good idea," Haldir interrupted before Frodo could 'bring forth' anything, or even get up.

"Why not?" Frodo asked, relieved to have the spotlight off him.

"Gollum," Legolas answered.

"He escaped the dungeons of Barad-dur!" Frodo exclaimed.

"Escaped, or was set loose?" Gandalf asked quietly.

"We won't mention what he did in Mirkwood," Aragorn smiled, shooting Legolas an amused look. The Elf promptly stuck out his tongue at his friend. Faramir returned with the two Elves' bows. He had also brought his own. "Now you may bring forth the Ring," Legolas said, fitting an arrow to his bow. Frodo obliged.

Gollum knew he couldn't make it past Faramir, Legolas, and Haldir's bows, so he stayed still.

"So it is true," Boromir whispered.

"Told ya," Faramir smiled.

Grima made a move to rise, but Eowyn stopped him. Haldir made note of yet another person to shoot if he tried to take the Ring.

Boromir rose. "In a dream, I saw the Eastern sky grow dark, but in the West, a pale light lingered. A voice was crying," He turned to Faramir.

"Seek for the sword . . ." his brother prompted.

"Oh, yes. Thanks, little brother.

'Seek for the sword that was broken.

In Imladris it dwells.

There shall be councils taken

Stronger than Morgul-spells.

There shall be shown a token

That doom is near at hand,

For Isildur's bane shall waken

And the Halfwidth forth shall stand.'"

"Halfling," Faramir whispered.

"Halfling," Boromir agreed reluctantly. Then, moving towards the Ring, added softly, "Isildur's Bane."

"Boromir!" Elrond shouted, but it was too late. Boromir reached for the Ring. Gollum sprang up out of his hiding place. Grima jumped up.

Then, everything plunged into chaos. Arrows flew. People raced around, trying to figure out what to do. Gandalf rose and announced something in Mordorian. In all the ruckus, one hand closed around the Ring of Power.

Muahahahahaha. Who has the Ring? Does Gollum finally have his Precious? Will Boromir use It to defend Minas Tirith? Will Grima take it to Saruman? Did Frodo take it back for safe keeping? Or will Middle-Earth perish? Muahahahahaha. :)