Disclaimer: None of it is mine. Nothing except the idea to put it together.
No Matter How Hopeless
"Oh, I think we do," Boromir repeated. "Follow me."
On they went into the darkness, following Boromir. Suddenly, they came to a dead end. The tunnel had caved in; there was no way out, either by going ahead or by going back.
Merry slumped down on a huge boulder. "What are we doing? There's no way out!"
Pippin joined him. "Yeah. We're going to die in here. Why did we have to come here?"
"Why?" Faramir mused. "Why, to dream the impossible dream."
"To fight the unbeatable foe," Boromir volunteered.
"To bear with unbearable sorrow," Pippin agreed. "To run where the brave dare not go."
Merry piped up, this time singing. "To right the unrightable wrong."
"To love, pure and chaste from afar," Faramir nodded
Boromir smiled. "To try, though your arms are too weary."
"To reach the unreachable star," they all sang.
Pippin grinned. "This is my Quest: to follow that star."
Merry nodded. "No matter how hopeless, no matter how far."
"To fight for the right," Faramir sang, "without question or pause."
Boromir picked it up. "To be willing to march into Hell for a Heavenly cause."
"And I know," they all sang, "if I'll only be true to this glorious Quest."
"Then my heart will lie peaceful and calm when I'm laid to my rest," Faramir finished. "And the world will be better for this, that one man, scorned and covered with scars, still strove, with his last ounce of courage, to reach the unreachable star!"
Everyone else stared at Faramir as he finished on an incredibly high note. Boromir blinked. "What was that? That didn't even make any sense."
"What?" Faramir shrugged. "What didn't make sense?"
"That last part."
"Oh. I kind of got lost in the moment."
"I'd say so," Boromir nodded. "Let's not talk about being laid to our rest just yet, huh, little brother?"
"It was only a song," Faramir protested. "And all of you dropped out too soon, so I had to sing something. Otherwise, it would have ended on a really weird chord and the line would have been left hanging there. I mean, what else rhymes with quest?"
"West," Pippin volunteered. "Jest. Zest."
"Vest. Dressed. Pest," Merry added.
"Addressed. Messed. Best. Guessed. Lest. Nest. Test," Boromir agreed. "There's plenty of other stuff."
"But none of it would make any sense," Faramir insisted. "And I know if I'll only be true to this glorious Quest--"
"That in the end I can sail with the Elves far into the West," Pippin tried.
Boromir shook his head. "It's still talking about the end. How about this: That my heart will lie peaceful and calm like birds in a nest."
"No way," Merry protested. "Have you ever actually seen birds in a nest? They're anything but calm."
"Do we even have birds' nests in Gondor?" Boromir asked.
"Sure we do," Faramir shrugged. "We have birds. And Merry's right; they're not exactly calm."
"Well, nothing is any more," Boromir reasoned.
"Oh, yeah?" Merry asked. "Here's one: That my heart will lie peaceful and calm when I'm wearing my vest."
"While I'm getting dressed," Pippin tried.
"While I'm making a jest," Merry nodded.
"When my hair is all messed."
"When my mail is addressed."
"When I'm taking a test."
"I like that one!" Boromir interrupted suddenly. "That my heart will lie peaceful and calm when I'm taking a test!"
Pippin grinned. "He liked it!"
"But it doesn't fit with the rest of the song," Faramir argued. "There's nothing in there about taking a test."
"Well, there's nothing in there about being laid to rest, either," Boromir countered.
"But nothing! Taking a test it is."
"Oh, bother," Faramir sighed. "Just because something rhymes doesn't make it right."
Pippin blinked. "What? It doesn't?"
"No! Otherwise all the other stuff you said would have been right, too. But it wasn't." Faramir dropped down onto a rock, sulking. "Besides, the stuff that came after it doesn't make sense now."
"It never did, anyway," Boromir shrugged. "What were you talking about?"
But before Faramir could answer, there came a huge rumbling and crashing through the rocks, and a giant spider stood in their path. Four pairs of eyes became as large as Recees' Peanut Butter Cups and they all wished they'd stayed in Rohan eating their candy.
They were about to run when Pippin shouted, "Wait! Faramir, sing that last part again!"
"Your version or mine?"
"And I know," Faramir sang, "if I'll only be true to this glories Quest, that my heart will lie peaceful and calm when I'm laid to my rest."
"And the world will be better for this," they all sang, "that one man, scorned and covered with scars, still strove, with his last ounce of courage, to reach the unreachable staaaaaaaar!"
At the sound of the four of them singing that last high note, the giant spider turned and fled back the way she had come. The four of them followed, still singing, turning blue in the face. Merry and Boromir were going flat. Pippin and Faramir were going sharp. The spider ran faster.
At last, they were outside, and the four members of the Fellowship collapsed and took a collective deep breath before they could pass out. "Pippin," Boromir gasped. "That was . . . a wonderful idea."
"Was that what you meant?" Pippin wanted to know.
"What do you mean?"
"Before, when I said we didn't have any weapons, and you said we did. Is this what you meant?"
"Oh, that? I just said that so people wouldn't freak out."
Everyone, including Boromir, burst out laughing.
Faramir looked at Boromir. "So does this mean the words were okay?"
Boromir studied his brother for a long while, as if suddenly he saw someone he didn't know standing in his place. "Yes," he said at last. "Yes, I think your version worked better."
Faramir grinned. "Thanks, Boromir."
"Don't mention it," Boromir nodded. "And I mean that, little brother. Don't mention it."
The funny part is, I heard that song about three times before I wrote this, and I only had to go back and change a couple words. :) I like that song. To dream the impossible dream . . .