A/N: So thus I find myself propped up in front of a blank screen yet again. Wow, such an invigorating feeling- All this beautiful, pure blank white to mercilessly smear with my hideous regurgitated mental drool... Once again, many thanks to all in whom read and reviewed. I send cyber pixie stix to thee.
This Disclaimer has Cooties: Invader Zim belongs to Jhonen Vasquez and Nickelodeon. Anything else mentioned in here doesn't belong to me either. Except Nub. Yay.
The Great Invaders Fic of Very Ficcish DOOM!
Chpt 5: An End, Though Crappy, Is Still An End (the Gaz POV)
"I vote for lasers!"
"What is with you and lasers?"
"The Irken Empire loves lasers! Except for you it seems..."
"Oh yeah, we all love the stupid lasers. It's all fun and games until I get ZAPPED in the EYE! Then you laugh, they all cheer, and I die a little on the inside."
"Don't forget the cost of new optic implants..." Purple planted his hands on his hips and scowled at his co-leaders insensitivity. Red shot him a sheepish grin in return as he held a little laser ball in a manner Purple assumed was supposed to be tempting. Either that or he was trying to shield himself behind the tiny device. "Come on... It's shiiiiney..." Red drawled hopefully. The other Tallest pouted and crossed his arms. Red frowned when his co-leader showed no signs of relenting to the sheer brilliance that was lasers. A thoughtful looked crossed his face as he glanced around the room, his (almighty!) gaze eventually falling to the lone Table Service Drone Nub shuffling around his ankle. "You!" he barked sharply, startling poor Nub and nearly making the short Irken spill the drinks (an offence worthy of squigglously painful death) "What do you prefer, smoke or lasers?"
Nub looked up, up, way up to meet his Tallest eye-to-eye as the two planetary leaders loomed over the slouched form.
His gaze first met Purple, in whom suggestively hummed a few cords of 'Smoke on the Water' (what do you mean you didn't know 'Deep Purple' was extra terrestrial?) and nodding approvingly, his fingers tapping together in a disturbingly Mr. Burns-ish manner.
His gaze swooped over to Red, in whom thrust some strange, circular object covered with tiny red lenses into his face. "It's shiiiiney..." he purred almost seductively.
Nub glanced back and forth several times between his two almighty Tallest, before dipping down to the floor again. He quivered under the piece of 2 X 4 crudely duct-taped to his head as his eyes welled with tears. No matter which one he choose, he undoubtedly faced a heinously painful death... Or else a horrible lifetime devoted to toilet duties... His gaze swept over towards the dimly lit washroom door, hanging ominously on a single hinge as some ominous unknown force of much evil ominousness growled ominously from the depths of the Irken waste deposit. A small whimpering sound was all that escaped his lips.
"What was that?" quipped Purple as the two leaders leaned down closer to the terrified Service Drone.
The tension was suddenly broken by a sharp blip sound from the computer consol of their personal quarters. Both Tallest straightened immediately as the screen filled with static. Nub took this opportunity and ran, just as far and fast as his spindly little legs could carry him. Without spilling the drinks to-boot. Both Tallest groaned when they saw who had been sending the transmission.
Zim didn't seem to notice as he smartly saluted his beloved leaders.
"Greetings my Tallest, I bring more proof of my many mad skillz in the ways of the Invader!" Red and Purple rolled their eyes. Not that you could tell. "I have captured one of the hideous earth creatures, and I'm about to do some ghastly experiments on him. I think I'll start off with something simple, like cutting off his head and seeing if I can re-attach it..." Both Tallest eyes widened in horror, their jaws dropping slightly as they gazed at the screen, Zims speech occasionally being interrupted by the sound of a chainsaw buzzing to life.
"Sweet- MIYUKI Zim! Not On Screen!" squeaked Purple as he tried to cover his large eyes with his two fingers. It didn't really work that well.
"Wait a second, isn't that the same human you captured last time?" Red drawled sceptically as he pointed to the rather hysterically screaming Dib. Zim pulled off the hockey mask to give his leaders a wide-eyed look.
"Yeah... And the time before that, and the time before that one too..." added Purple. Zim grew noticeably uncomfortable. Dib had turned noticeably blue, panting weakly, voice rasping as he counted the years that were most likely knocked off his life with that last stunt. None of the Irkens took any notice however, as Red squinted suspiciously at the screen.
"Are you just capturing the same human again and again because your defences suck so much he keeps escaping?" Zim glanced around the room, visibly sweating by now as he giggled nervously.
"N- Noooo... Of course not... Heh, ya see, humans all look kinda... er, identical, to the untrained eye... "
"Yeah, that's real interesting Zim." Stated Red in a voice that said it was anything but. "Listen, we have to go. Leadership duties and all that stuff." Zims shoulders sagged slightly as Red discretely reached for the little red button marked 'Pummel'. Suddenly, he was knocked away by his co-leader as Purple desperately pressed his hands against the screen.
"Wait! Zim!" the tiny Irken snapped to attention as the purple Tallest continued "Smoke or Lasers?"
Zim gave his leader a blank look, the restrained Dib raised an eyebrow, and Red somehow resisted the urge to bang his head (or his co-leaders for that matter) against the wall.
Crickets chirped. Cue tumbleweed.
The small Irken finally broke the silence as he nonchalantly shrugged.
"I've always been partial to strobe lights personally myself. Anyway, Invader Zim, signing off!" The screen went blank, plunging the two leaders into darkness. The equal looks of sheer disbelief etched into both faces the last visible thing before black totally encompassed the two.
Dib gazed up at the Invader with wibbly, watery puppy-dog-that's-life-has-just-passed-before-it's-scarred-for-life eyes, his bottom lip trembling slightly. It would have been almost cute if he didn't look so much like someone who only saw one episode of Dragonball Z being plunged into an anime convention. Mmyep.
Man, I'm really freaking tired. I'll finish this thing up next day I have off from work.
Sooo, yeah! Last we left off with poor Dib in Zims evil clutches!
"Bwahahahaha! Check out my clutches! They are so evil! Whoo, look'it em go!" cackled the deranged Irken as he loomed over Dib, his eyes narrowing maliciously in much the same manner as a predator eyes its prey. "There's nothing to save you now, Dib..."
Ominous thunder growled lowly in the background, mildly miffed that it had been jacked out of the last three chapters.
Thick black rain clouds filled the sky, choking out the suns light and plunging the earth into a premature night. A thick fog rolled up over the painfully green lawns, creeping over the gnomes and other hideous lawns ornaments, engulfing them entirely like a big, creepy amoeba absorbing lots of smaller amoeba thingers. An unnatural stillness fell over the neighbourhood, flowers wilted, babies exploded, hamsters devoured one another as the heavy sense of foreboding swelled up and consumed all entangled in the thick fog, filling their hearts with fear and their under-roos with... you don't wanna know. And in the centre of it all, the mists swirled and parted like grey theatrical curtains, easily pushed aside by the sheer broiling miasma of burning hate that was the robed girls aura. Gaz squinted darkly as she trudged along, little black boots squeaking cutely, a strange contrast to the almost physically tangible waves of malice emanating off her tiny figure. She trudged tirelessly through the dank danky doomish twisted blah black and grey cobblestone streets. The leafless trees swayed in the gloomy grey-ish wind, branches stretching towards the clouded, foggy heavens like boney fingers clawing towards unattainable salvation. Full moon. Graveyard. Melodramatic prose. Insert more uber gothy angst creepy description here. Suddenly, she stopped, her demonic amber eyes cracking open to glare up at the fluorescent green house that stood in her wake. Wolves howled in the distance. Blarg, goth poetry.
"So then I said to this impolite special ed student 'Thank you good sir, you are a gentleman, a scholar, and have excellent taste in whisky.' and then he simply replied 'Go Die.' He didn't even bother to question why I had tentacles protruding rather obviously from my Pak. So yes, I do believe that counts as another crisis averted by my genius skills to blend in with the rest of you horrid, greasy pig worms." Chirped Zim intelligently and, oddly, with a slight British accent, as he daintily sipped his (Irken) tea.
"Some people are just so ignorant..." chortled Dib, shaking his head slightly as he reached for another crumpet, laying his cup aside.
"It's not that they lack intelligence young man, it's simply that they direct their knowledge to different things. They do not recognize aliens amongst them, not because they don't see, but simply because they do not want to see. Extra terrestrial life forms and the belief therein is commonly frowned upon by your typical earth society, so people, most individuals anyway, tend to blind themselves to the exista- Oh, sorry there old chap, would you like some more?" GIR paused to refill Dibs teacup, the rich scent of Earl Grey wafting lazily through the room melodious and relaxing. Dib nodded slowly as he quietly pondered the androids words. The tiny green Irken leaned back in his chair, stretching his arms above his head and yawned, eyes half-lidded and content. He quickly glanced at his wristwatch which, much like his self destruct button, shall never be mentioned again.
"Oh dear me, it seems 'tea, crumpet, and intellectual speaking' time is over. Oh well, back to the grind!" Zim whipped an arm across the table top, ripping off the horridly tasteful cloth and shattering teacup and teapot alike on the floor. Several thick wires dropped from the ceiling, trapping Dib in a bone-crushing grip. "Now Dib Monkey! Surrender to ZIM! Your Hair is Stupid and Your Head is Disturbingly Large! ...And Stupid!"
"NEVER! I'll Never Submit to your Evil, Zim! I'm Going to Expose You and String your Organs along a Clothes Line! And my Head's Not Big!"
"Dem's POSSUMS Mary-Sue! Squeeze Cheese!" squealed the tiny malfunctioning SIR unit as he bounced along between the two battling rivals. Zim paused momentarily to delicately punt the bouncing pile of scrap under the couch. A muffled "Hi Cobra! Milk me's some acid juice!" and then silence.
"Face it Dirt-Child, I've already won! I've even utterly defeated you in one of your own pathetic earth battle simulators!" Zim resumed his ominous looming as he loomed ominously over Dib. "Remember?" he hissed darkly, the malevolent smile pulling at the corners of his mouth making it all to obvious the sadistic pleasure the small alien took from his dominance over the human. Wow. That could lead to so many BDSM scenarios I don't even want to contemplate it...
Zim cackled evilly. Admittedly, when he first stepped into this peculiar simulator, it had taken him by surprise. However, it didn't take long for him to slip back into the extensive Invader training of his youth, the game, surprisingly, held many similarities to some of the simulators he'd trained with back on Irk. Except this inferior human machine was much, much nosier. Probably an attempt at distracting the feeble humans feeble inferior attention. His booted feet flew in perfect sync as he sent an evil, superior grin at his faltering opponent.
"Looks like victory shall be MINE Dib! I AM ZIM!" he crowed pompously, his arms thrusting into the air. Dib chanced to wipe the sweat collecting upon his brow, gasping desperately as he tried to keep up. This isn't how this was supposed to turn out! He was supposed to be the victor, the proud cocky one while Zim suffered! He bit deeply into his lip as he helplessly watched his points decrease... Almost to the point of no return! The two boys stomped desperately, and strangely almost perfectly in step with each other, tangled in a desperate life or death struggle, eyes focusing entirely on the small white arrows wafting almost lazily up the screen as 'Butterfly' boomed loudly, overpoweringly from the looming black box.
"That was a fluke! I hadn't eaten breakfast that morning and I told you I do much better with the Dance Dance Revolution 5th Mix!" Dib cried desperately, struggling futily against his binds. Zim stopped.
"Yes, well, I suppose you did mention that, but OH WELL! ZIM Still WINS! Now back down to the labs with you, filthy earth meats. I have many horrible experiments planned for you..."
"Can't we have another 'tea and crumpet' time?" squeaked Dib hopefully. Zims eyes narrowed.
"...No... Now, DOWN TO THE LABS! WEEHOO!" the tiny Invader exclaimed, his thin arms thrusting into the air, cackling evilly as the floor beneath the two split open, engulfing the two figures, the table, and the unfortunate Pig still sitting silently at his corner of the table. The silence that followed was absolute, not even the tiny android tucked cosily under the couch stirred. The stillness was then broken with the almost inaudible creak of the front door, fog creeping in silently through the crack...
Zim threw back his head and laughed, sickly, evilly as the thick red dripped slowly down his body. Dib convulsed and gasped weakly, somehow clinging to consciousness even through all the pumping, spilling red trickling freely down his quivering form. The Irkens laughter echoed on and on, never-ending in the deep red cavern of his underground lab. Dib craned his neck, trying to breath, trying to speak, trying to scream, trying to anything besides lie prone and await his inevitable doom. It couldn't end like this, it just wasn't fair! Zims laughter echoed on, quickly followed by the gurgling, hacking noise of the small Irken unsurprisingly choking on his own (superior!) saliva.
"Ahem. Anyway, that's enough with the new muckleberry flavor containment fluid." Zim paused for a short period to allow the readers ample time to roll their eyes at the horridly sad attempt at humour. "Now, to make you feel some real eh... Discomfort!" with that, Zim squealed gleefully and pounded several of the buttons dotting the control panel before the huge containment unit.
"NOOOOO!" cried Dib dramatically.
"YESSSSSS!" cackled Zim dramatically.
Pig quietly sipped his tea in a corner, observing the ordeal with his narrowed, ever shifting eyes as a thin, secretive smirk pulled at the corners of his mouth.
Suddenly, the lights cut, effectively shutting both boys up. Zim glanced around his precious labs, optic implants subconsciously switching to a more useful light-collecting mode. Slowly the anonymous lumps of shadow began to take recognizable form, the details of his underground base jumping back into focus through the eerie reddish tint of the small Invaders night vision.
"CompuTEEEER! What's Happening?" he howled, rising on his spider legs to avoid the billowing mists swamping the tiled floors.
"Computer?" Zim glanced over towards the containment device, the empty containment device. He gasped sharply, eyes darting around the fogged room desperately. "DIB! You Filthy GREASE WEASEL! You dare think you can escape ZIM?!... again... eh, The Power of Muckleberry Compels You!" A slight movement caught the corner of his eye. "WHAT? An intruder? Argh! What happened to the front door defences?!"
Meanwhile, upstairs with the robo-parents...
"Honey? Have you seen my lower jaw?"
"Oh! That's what is protruding from my eye socket... Wait, sorry sweetie, that's just my foot..."
Zims teeth grated. "Why Doesn't Anything Work Around Here? Alright human Filth! Prepare your Dirty Organs for Assimilation, for you have Foolishly Evoked the MIGHTY Wrath of ZI- eh?"
THWANG! (spiffy sound effect, yes?)
"Uugh..." whimpered the small Invader, his limp body flopping lifelessly to the cold floor.
"Wow Gaz! That was Amaz-"
"Why must... e-everything... hhhuuurt..." The little girl glowered down at the prone figure of her elder sibling, a rather obvious trickle of drool sliding down his glaringly large, stupid head. The rather demonic little girl felt her lip curl in disgust as she callously tossed her baseball bat over her shoulder. She purposefully ignored the muffled 'Umph!' of the aluminium weapon lodging itself in tender Irk-flesh. Why did she always wind up having to pull her stupid brothers useless, annoying butt from the fire? She simply sighed heavily and shook her head in submission as she shoved the prone boy onto a conveniently placed (and conveniently unmentioned) hover pad. She didn't bother asking anymore. Gaz barely suppressed a grin as she did up the restraining straps, the sound of Dibs ribcage creaking under the pressure as her unconscious brother twitched and frothed under her 'loving' sisterly touch was probably the most entertaining part of the entire escape mission. And with a tender boot to the side of the hover pad, and another groan from the prone mini paranormal investigator, the two siblings were off to the nearest elevator, and thus, to freedom, Membranes demonstration, and free pizza.
With one more vicious kick (that was admittedly a bit harder than it had to be) and the hover pad was in the elevator shaft, shortly followed by the malevolent force that was Gaz. However, their ascent was suddenly interrupted by an obnoxious 'bing' noise. Gaz popped one dark, soul-sucking eye open to glare at the offending screen as it dropped down from the roof of the cramped elevator. The typical Irken logo, peculiarly crowned with a little yellow hard-hat, fizzled into focus as an obnoxious, chipper voice crackled over the speakers.
"We r lyk sooo sorry, but teh rest o tis lyk, elevator iz lyk, out of order due to teh tooching tail of a rocket powered super dog n his disturbingly large vending machine/ tool kit. Pls lyk, exit n board teh next elevator, n sorry fer teh inconvenience n all that crap, get off!" Gaz grated her teeth as she forcefully punted her brother out of the broken chute, growling lowly to herself as she irritably watched the hover pad rebound around the dark red lab. She scanned the room with her squinted, fiendish amber eyes, looking for the quickest, easiest escape route. It didn't take long to spot what looked like another elevator across the dimly lit room, and with another well calculated boot, her brother was easily sent flying towards the doors. She herself began to trudge drearily after him, when something caught her eye. She waddled a bit closer to what appeared to be the central computer, one dark slit squinting open to quickly evaluate what was typed up on the blaringly white screen with her usual disinterested Gaz-style cynicism...
Once upon a time, during a dark and stormy night (Not stormy like rainy-stormy, but stormy like, you know, thundering-ominous-booming stormy night of DOOM stormy) the vile, evil, despicable, contemptible, depraved, base, degraded, low, wicked, abominable, loathsome, foul stink-beast Dib was walking home from the skool. Then he exploded and died. DIED! Gone forever, because he is pathetic and weak and made up of pitiful squishy flesh-meats! Take THAT human scum!
And then the great, wonderful, fantastic, magnificent, excellent, terrific, cool, groovy, good, all around just spiffy and superior in every way shape and form Irken Invader ZIM pointed and laughed at the Dibs smokey remains that smelt vaguely like burnt weenies. Then ZIM burnt the remains and stirred them in the dirt. Then he burnt the dirt and went home and unleashed his ultimate plan for planetary domination! He blasted the disgusting, filthy dirt-planets surface with a big... scary death beam... thing and all the foolish infidel humans were running around like
"OMG what is going on!"
And the suave, handsome, noble Invader ZIM laughed at their patheticness, because they were all so very pathetic. And then the Dib-beast somehow revived and tried to stop ZIMs brilliant plans, but failed because he was twice as useless as the rest of his disgusting population, so he was like
"Oh ZIM, how could I, a simple-minded, revolting, disgusting, repellent, repulsive, sickening, nauseating, horrible, horrendous, awful, dreadful, horrid creature ever think I could stand against such an obviously untouchable, Godly genius like you? I am nothing more than an insignificant worm! I am not worthy of even licking the dust off the bottom of your mighty boots that I now throw myself down before! Oh how delusional and stupid I was to ever even think of defying you, oh Great One! Please, I beg of you, end my irritating existence, for I simply cannot live knowing I ever dared bring shame upon my superior, my Lord and Master ZIM!" and he grovelled and begged and burst into tears and all that crap. And ZIM cackled from where he sat on his huge earth-ruling throne and he was like
"Dib filth, you suck!" And then ZIM zapped the annoying pest with super lightning from his fingertips and the Dib-humans brain fried in that grotesquely huge head of his and he died again.
And then ZIMs big scary death beam hit the guy that created pop-up adds and he died. And then the beam hit all the squeally slashy fangirls and they all died too. And then the worm-baby Dib randomly came back to life so ZIM could have the satisfaction of blowing him up again. And then the Tallest were like
"Gee ZIM, you did a real spiffarific job cleaning off that planet! We're so gosh-darned proud of you we're going to make you our second (third?) in command and devote the planet to your greatness! We'll call in 'Planet ZIMtopia', and we'll build a great big statue of you there so all the people across the galaxy can come and revel in your amazingness!" and ZIM was like
"But of course! I wouldn't expect any less for someone as mind-blowingly impressive as me!"
And then ZIM grew another two feet. And Dirt-Dib revived again, so ZIM splattered his squidgy human filth zombie organs all over the floor. And GIR was all like
"Geez master, you are so grooving and with it, I will from now on obey your every command without question like a good little SIR unit." And Zim was like
"Yea dat's cool."
Then the Dib-worm revived once more and the almighty ZIM curb-stomped him, and he died again for good because ZIM would never, ever ever ever ever even consider indulging in any horrible and creepy disgusting mating ritual with him. Ever. Not even if he was really drunk.
And then gir walked into teh rum w/ his rubber piggy and saw master looking al sad and unhoppy-like.
'aw master wats wrong w/ u?' said gir.
'the goverment dookied up my tax return and now i am so very upset by the hole matter.' said master.
'i now wat wil cheer u up master!!!!!!11!!! sniff dis permanent felt marker. its mildly titling odor wil ease ur stressed mind n sooth ur tormented soul!!!!!111!!!2' said gir n gir gave master his felt penny-tinger n master sniffed it.
'wow gir, u r write!!!! i fell sooo much better now, let us go frolik in teh conveniently placed field of daisyes behind the house and sing infuriating, mind-numbing songs we learned from annoying internet flash videos!!!!!!!!!!!!11111' said master so thy went to the field of daisyes n they al danced togeter n sang the kenya song and the final fantasy song and redid the hole my spoon iz to big thinger n they wer al so hapy. N hen the backgrond feel back n they wer al dressed up brodway-ish n they all sang n danced n the audience humans loveded dem. they loveded them god.
then sudenly a big meteora feel fr the ski and hit the gib human in the hed, cause his hed is sooooo big u cant miss it. dib feel over n cried n everyon was sad.
'i can sea death!!!!!111one!!! it smells like pinapples!!!!!!2345!!!' said dib.
n thn he died n every1 was runing don this big scary hall.
'i dont now how we got in this big scary hall or why we r runing but i am so scared!!!!!!!!!!!111111!!!!!' said the scary girl dib human sister.
oooo is gettin scary now huh? lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!
n then just as they wer getting to the end of the hall The door suddenly burst open, and there stood DIB, Saviour of Earth and Unquestionable Superior Being, armed to the teeth as the bright, justice-packed light of Divine Retribution shone... um... brightly behind him.
"Squee!" squeed Zim in absolute terror as he dropped to the floor, quivering amidst his own vile alien-y bodily fluids, obviously overwhelmed by the sheer power that was the Mighty Dib! "Oh no! My evident inferiority suddenly engulfs my fragile mind! I must retreat!" so Zim fled like the cowardly, not-superior alien scum he is. And all the people were so amazed, as they'd seen that Dib had been right All Along, and wasn't crazy, but deserving of... um... fame... and stuff. Good stuff. Yeah.
"Mmyep, my son sure is a real genius! I am so ashamed I ever doubted his geniusness!" Professor Membrane patted Dibs head as the two stood at the world summit to receive their Nobel Peace Prizes for uh... Defeating alien scum, proving the existence of ghosts, Bigfeets, the alternate sock dimension linked to dryers, and just generally making the world a better place for everyone. The massive audience cheered as Dib accepted his award, humbly and gallantly, in the background one could hear a distinct "Dib Membrane Rocks!"
Suddenly the cheers died away as cries of terror erupted- The alien invasion! Dib stood bravely, stock still and tough-looking like in all those super hero movies as the people began fleeing in panic. Perhaps he'd exact his Ultimate Revenge on Zim after all...
The aliens beamed down to earth and started terrorizing and stuff. Suddenly, Dib rose at the summit, did I mention he'd used his many mad skillz to hack into the uh, TV um, stuff, so he was broadcasted across the entire planet? No? Well, he did, so anyway, he stood up there and exclaimed:
"Do not despair mankind, those are Not aliens to be feared- They are a race made up entirely of Self-Deluded Morons that smell vaguely like old cabbage!"
"Duh, duh, We're so superior and stuff!" moaned the drooly zombie-like aliens as they stumbled around bumping into each other and stuff.
"Come my fellow humans, rise and band together! We can kick these cosmically inept fools off our planet once and for all!" and all the people joined as one super-army and battled the Irkens with... uh, lots of fire hoses! Utilizing the Irkens most obvious weakness against them straight off the bat before they could devise any way of protecting themselves.
"OH NO! The Liquid Death! It Reigns From Above! We Must Retreat!" exclaimed the aliens and they all ran back to their ships and blasted off, never to return. Dib was hailed as a hero for it was his bounty of knowledge of the Irken race that led to their defeat. Why, if it weren't for him doing his human duty, all the earth would be enslaved by now! Man, Dib was great and not crazy and... and stuff!
"Look Dib, we've managed to capture a few of the unbelievably stupid alien menaces! Let's subject them to all kinds of horrible tests, just cause we CAN!" exclaimed a scientist as he gestured to a bunch of tanks holding a handful of Irkens. One face stood out most prominently above all the others- And that Irken, immediately realizing his horrific fate, did what he did best and cowered against the back of his tube. Dib smiled viciously and waved.
"Why, hello Zim." He sneered to his arch nemesis before nodding to the scientist "Take that one to the Special lab, you know, the one that's even more painful than the others." He turned back to the defeated alien with relish "I guess it's obvious who the Superior Race is here, eh Zim?"
"Nooo! I have been defeated and stuff! Oh the Prickly Humiliation, how Foolish I was to ever think I could defeat the humans!"
Anyway, moving on to the lab of Horrendous Pain™... Dib pulled on his surgical gloves with delight before turning to the tiny Irken strapped to the autopsy table before him. Zim struggled vainly against the tight binds as Dib advanced on him slowly, scalpel in hand.
"Now Zim, all those threats are fulfilled in uh, full!" with that, Dib plunged his
Gaz shook her head slowly in disgust. Honestly, why did whatever divine force out there waste its time with trying to create brains for these people... aliens... whatevers. With that she stretched out her arms, before laying her claw-like fingers along the proper keys...
"Ugg... Why's dem chickens runnin... AGH! TIGERS!" yelped the still unconscious, and thankfully restrained, Dib from the shadowed depths of the elevator, effectively jolting Gaz from her thoughts. She shook her head again and made a face as her hands fell away from the keyboard and instead, grasped the tiny white mouse. She casually dragged the tiny pixel arrow up the screen and clicked the tiny x at the top right hand corner.
! DO YOU WANT TO SAVE THE CHANGES YOU MADE TO ZIMS-TEH-AMAZING-SLASH-BLASTER-SUPER-SIZE-COUNTER-FIC? !
(YES) (NO) (CANCEL)
She nonchalantly clicked the NO button, and watched with no small degree of smug satisfaction as the screen plunged into darkness.
(Insert Lard Nar voiceover)
Well, wasn't that a fun romp through the mental drool! Now aren't you stumbled across this fic? Did you know I'm being forced to do these ending credits at gunpoint? So yes, thank you for the feedback, and I certainly hope you enjoyed reading it half as much as the author enjoyed writing it!
... I'm done now... Can I go-OOAGHHH! OK! OK! Not the LEGS!
Remember, next time life hands you lemons, grab some salt, order a shot and always remember; It's all in questionably tasteful humor. Please send help.
Well... It's what Gaz would most likely do...
And thus ends the enticing tale of how I distracted you long enough to plant that nest of giant fire ants in your basement. I apologize for the crappiness of this chapter, currently I'm rather tired and more than slightly hung over. I may however, go back and do a few quick edits with this chapter much like I did for chapter 4. Once again, many thanks go out to the reviewers, it's you guys that made this fic what it is. What it is however, I leave up to you. Thank you, and good night.