Disclaimer: I do not own anything pertaining to Cruel Intentions. I'm simply borrowing a few of the characters
Summary: What would you sacrifice for your hearts desire? For some nothing is too precious and you can never go too far. Welcome to the most dangerous game of all. Please R&R.
Authors Note: Vague enough for you? Yeah well that's the point. I'm not going to give anything away with this one but needless to say it's very alternate universe.
Seeing I've at last completed Who Are You, I've felt like starting fresh with a new story. Even though I have much more of CI: The Serial to finish I just don't feel inspired to work on it right now or Second Generation but they will get finished. Possibly even before I hit 30. Until then tell me what you think of this and let me know if I should continue. Thanks and enjoy!
"By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes . . ." - MacBeth
He awoke with a jolt. Snapped out of a dream by those two familiar words, coming from that familiar voice. An all too familiar voice. It was enough to awake him even from the deepest of sleeps and insure that he would stay awake for the time being. Keeping his eyes closed he struggled, as he did so many morning before, over whether he wanted to remember the dream or forget it. The real question was did he want reality or fantasy?
As it so happened he wouldn't have to chose. A hand featuring soft fingers and manicured nails reached out and gently caressed his bare neck. Reality it would be.
With much reluctance and a little pain Sebastian Valmont opened his eyes. The effects of a bottle of cristal and a few joints were still with him and likely would be for a better part of the afternoon. Yes judging by the antique clock to his left he had already missed the morning. The next question then became: where the fuck did he pass out last night? Picking up his head he groggily took in his surroundings. Plush carpets, view of the New York skyline, and a bottle of pills on the night stand. Okay he was somewhere between 5th and Park.
Now who was he with?
Always a scary proposition, rolling over and seeing what it was you were sleeping with. Lord knows what you would find. Beautiful girl, frat boy, farm animal, all of the above. Not that anything like that had happened to him before. Not that he would admit it. Taking a deep breath of courage he slowly turned around to see what exactly was stroking him.
Ah yes, Mrs. Fairchild. She liked it when he called her that. He imagined she'd seen The Graduate too many times. He'd hate to break it to her but he had had his fair share of Mrs. Robinson's in his time. Although to be fair Suzanna Fairchild was high on the list of older women he's bedded. A former runway model, she was gorgeous with long red hair, high cheekbones and a body that wouldn't quit. She had to be one of the best looking 40 year olds Sebastian had ever see. And if his fuzzy memory served, she wasn't bad in the sack either.
"Good morning my love" she purred caressing his face.
Sebastian had to contain his urge to wretch at that moment. It had nothing to do with his newly blossoming hangover and everything to do with the woman's incessant need to sound like a paperback romance novel. He imagined she found it erotic; he found in embarrassing. None the less he would play along until he could get the hell out of there. While he found Suzanna beautiful, sexy and at times amusing, he had no wish to stay beyond their time in bed. He never stayed with any of them and he liked it that way.
"Good morning" he greeted her with a lazy smile as he wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close. The remnants of his dream were now long past.
"Almost too good, I nearly forgot where I was."
"But you didn't forget me right?"
"Oh never you." It was a lie, one of many he was likely to tell in the next ten minutes.
Sebastian moved his hand up her arm and rested in on her neck before slowly drawing her mouth down to his. They kissed eagerly, with vacant passion. He rolled her onto her back and ran his hands down the curves of her body, much like he was examining a piece of fine art. Indeed he was. Breaking from their kiss Sebastian trailed his mouth down her cheek, neck, and collarbone before stopping at her breasts. After swirling his tongue around her hard rose colored nipples he squeezed her breasts and looked up at her face. He was looking for something, he wasn't exactly sure what but he didn't find it. There was nothing there.
"Do you have any aspirin around?"
She looked a little disappointed. "Um, yes the bathroom."
He got up and languidly stumbled around the room gathering up his rumpled clothes before heading into the bathroom. It was a his and her set up. Sebastian absent mindedly wondered where Mr. Fairchild was at. He didn't much care.
Suzanna was talking to him through the door but he ignored her in favor of going through her medicine cabinet. He found the aspirin and took a couple, then pocketed a couple of bottles of some other pills for later use.
"Oh Sebastian" she sighed dramatically as he stepped out of the bathroom. "I'm old enough to be your mother!"
He wondered how she would react if he agreed with her. It might be amusing but he wasn't in the mood for the drama that would inevitably follow. Instead he took a seat beside her on the bed and lovingly caressed her face. "You are a beautiful, passionate woman Suzanna. Full of life and vitality that no younger woman could hope to match."
She beamed at this, half in love with him already. "You're sweet, sweeter than your reputation led me to believe."
"Reputation?" He asked with mock horror "what reputation?"
They both laughed at this, knowing very well that his reputation was all true and in fact it was the very thing that brought them together in the first place. Sebastian bent forward and kissed her once more. Pulling away abruptly Suzanna asked "b-but this was special wasn't it? I didn't just imagine that?"
"Of course it was special" he assured her in a tone so gentle it didn't even seem to be coming out of his mouth. In contrast his hand reached around and lewdly rubbed her ass. "No one has ever let me put it there before."
It was a lie of gigantic proportions but one none the less he enjoyed telling. She beamed back at him, obviously quite proud that she took that portion of his 'virginity' away. He kissed her one last time before getting to his feet. "I have to get going, I have to meet a friend for brunch."
"All right but you'll call me right?"
"Suzanna of course, good-bye."
Turning on his heel he exited the room, rolling his eyes. He wondered at what age women stop believing that line to be true. Oh well she would learn. In the end these sordid little trysts were nothing more than stories to brag about later, gossip to whisper around the country club or in his case entry's in his journal.
Sebastian made his way down the staircase and headed towards the elevator. He vaguely remembered the Fairchild's owned the building and therefor the elevator went right up to their living room. As he waited for the doors to open he suddenly got a feeling as if he'd been their before...
The doors slid open suddenly and nineteen year old Ashlee Fairchild appeared. Oh yes that's right, he had been there before
"Sebastian!" She exclaimed as her whole beautiful face filled with joy. Indeed she looked like the spiting image of her mother during her younger years except with a longer nose and shorter legs. The next thing he knew she literally jumped off the elevator and into his arms. "Oh I thought you were spending the rest of the summer in Greece?"
"Change of plans" he lied as he untangled himself from her.
Before he could explain further she pulled him into a kiss. Although he was eager to get the hell out of there he kissed her back. Breaking away she asked excitedly "so did you come to see me?"
The way she was looking at him he suddenly remembered why he was so eager to get away from her after he nailed her a few weeks earlier. Ashlee was in love with him, or at least she thought she was. She looked at him like an eager little puppy would to a new master. So happy to please. She wouldn't be for long. "No actually I didn't."
Her expression fell and she appeared confused. She was about to interrogate him further when he heard "oooohhhh Sebastian! You forgot your watch you naughty boy. Come back here so I can give you a spa-ASHLEE!"
Sebastian turned around and nearly lost it when he spotted Suzanna standing on the stairs completely nude with her mouth hanging open. Evidentially she hadn't been expecting her daughter home and obviously Ashlee hadn't figured out that moment that her mother was a whore. The younger girls face fell and tears began to well up in her eyes as she realized what was going on. "M-Mother" she gasped softly.
Strutting past her Sebastian smirked as he walked over and snatched the watch out of her mothers hand. "Thanks Mrs. Fairchild."
He started for the elevator when Ashlee pulled him back with a shaky hand. "But I-I-I thought y-you loved me?" She stammered now crying. Angrier she exclaimed "you said I was special!"
Sebastian gently cupped her face as he cooed "oh Ash you are special." Reaching his hand around he groped her ass and looked over her shoulder at Suzanna. "No ones ever let me put it there before." The older woman looked back at him with utter hatred and embarrassment.
Backing away from her he stepped into the open elevator and waved. "You ladies have a nice day." As the doors closed the last image he had of them was one of total despair and heartache. Their relationship would likely never survive this betrayal. They would get over it but there would always be a little part of them inside that was completely damaged, never to be fixed, and it was all his fault. Sebastian smiled.
It suddenly occurred to Sebastian as he was making his way down busy Park Avenue in his vintage jag, that he was 20 years old and it was entirely possible that he was getting to old for his nonsense. True he had enjoyed playing his nasty little trick on the Fairchild women but in the end it all seemed rather pointless. It was just another entry to add to his journal. Just another couple of notches in his already cluttered bedpost.
It wasn't as if he was dissatisfied with his life. Well not really, just...bored. Yes that was the word. It seemed to Sebastian that there was nothing to look forward to and nothing to anticipate. All his future seemed to hold was an endless parade of nubile but vacant easy women and drunken nights wasting his money. To most young men his age this was more than enough to look forward to but Sebastian found he was becoming restless with it. Perhaps he really was dissatisfied with his life.
Sebastian was 20 years old and he had no idea what to do with himself. He was wealthy, came from a good family with a good name. He was handsome, charming and had a far above average intelligence. He could have anything he wanted but the thing was there was nothing that interested him. Currently enrolled in his third year of college, it seemed to him he was learning nothing except how to nail two sorority sisters before brunch and perfecting the perfect hangover cure. There was really no reason to bother with school. He had enough money in the bank for five lifetimes thanks to his dearly departed father (may he rot in hell). The only reason at all he went was because he had nothing better to do.
As he pondered just what the hell to do with himself he pulled his jag up to the curb beside a large, impressive looking townhouse. It was four floors high and took up half the block with a perfect view of the central park reservoir. It wasn't much but he called it home. Unfortunately he wasn't the only one who called it that.
A year ago his mother Natasha Valmont remarried almost a year after the passing of her husband and Sebastian's father. He had supposedly died during a so called business trip but his son knew better. There was no business trip. He was off partying with one of his whores behind his mothers back when the accident happened. Even though the two were a lot alike Sebastian hated his father and felt little emotion when he heard of his demise. The man had always treated his mother like a trophy and his son as little more than a nuisance to throw money at.
His mother on the other hand was another story. Sebastian adored his mother even though he didn't always show it. She was beautiful, cultured, refined and elegant. She was everything Sebastian thought a true women should be. His father had never been worthy of her and in his opinion her new husband wasn't either. It didn't help any that the man also came with children of his own.
Ignoring the meter maid who was tirelessly trying to explain to him that he couldn't park his car in the red zone, Sebastian dragged himself into the house. His hangover was still affecting him as his energy felt completely drained. Not bothering to take his sunglasses off, he entered one of the sitting room's and sunk down onto his mother's antique fainting couch.
Resting his head back he thought about his new family and scowled. He had often considered moving out on his own seeing as he was of age and had the resources to make it happen. However there was this one thing that kept him here. In the black hole that was his mothers new marriage there was one particular bright spot: his stepsister.
He couldn't help but smirk as he thought about her. Indeed she was everything he imagined in his ideal women but at the same time she wasn't. Beautiful, smart, and full of grace and class she was a wonder to behold. Everyone loved her and he wasn't any different although he likely wouldn't classify his feelings for her as loved. Maybe just respect and of course lust. He was dying to get into her pants, he didn't give a rats ass if she was his step sister or not. However she refused him and only laughed off his advances.
Sebastian closed his eyes and could feel himself drifting off to sleep with thoughts of his not-quite-sister when someone came up behind him and very rudely and cruelly screamed into his ear: "AFTERNOON!"
He jolted up with a start clutching his throbbing head. The sound of throaty laughter could be heard as he cringed. Speak of the devil and the devil should appear. "Annette that wasn't a very nice trick to play on your step brother" he grumbled through the pain.
Wiping a strand of her wispy blond hair behind her ear she chuckled as she leaned over the opposite end of the lounger. "No I suppose it wasn't but it was funny. Rough night Sebastian?"
Reclining back once again he sighed "you could say that."
"And what was it you overindulged in this time?"
Sebastian leered at her. "Do you really want to know?"
"Judging by that smell emulating off of you I think not."
He sniffed his jacket and was met with the tangy overly sweet smell of French perfume. "Trust me it smelled a lot better on Mrs. Fairchild."
"Mrs. Fairchild? You mean Ashlee?"
"No I mean her mother." Annette's perfect little nose crinkled and her mouth fell open a little in shock. He always loved that expression of hers. "Impressed?"
"Try disgusted" turning away from him she walked over to the desk and began going through the mail. "You're unbelievable."
"Thank you" he replied proudly.
"I did not mean it as a compliment."
Sebastian smiled in spite of her insult. He had been infatuated by Annette Hardgrove ever since he was introduced to her by her father. She was indeed beautiful with soft blond shoulder length hair, bright blue eyes, perfect full lips and body with curves in all the right places. However it wasn't just her appearance. There were a hundred more girls in their social circle who were just as pretty if not more so. Certainly one's who dressed better. Although she always looked pretty in her pastel colors and flattering tops he would have preferred something sexier. He liked women in black.
Then again her lack of fashion sense wasn't what interested him most. Annette was unendingly interesting to him. The Hardgroves were a wealthy family from Kansas who moved to New York two years ago. Perhaps it was her morals she acquired outside of the city that made her stand out. She was kind, sweet but far from a pushover. She was just as intelligent as him but no where as experienced. Annette believed in god but in no way was she pious. She had a good sense of humor, she laughed a lot, and always gave people, even himself the benefit of the doubt. One would think she'd be self righteous or full of herself but she was neither. And to top it off her most appealing quality to Sebastian had to be her virginity which she was adamant would stay intact until her wedding night.
This of course made her just that more irresistible to him. If he believed in god he would think this was a cruel joke he was playing on him to get him back for all the heartache he's caused over the years. Making a beautiful, sexy, virgin is step sister was a very cruel twist of fate indeed. However he didn't let this stop him and used every opportunity to make overtures towards her which she ignored each and every time. She adamantly insisted that they were siblings and there would be no way in hell it would go beyond that. But every now and then he would catch her out the corner of his eye looking at him not as a brother but as something more. He knew she liked him and was fighting herself over it.
"So are you going to the benefit tonight?"
Sebastian scowled at the question. He had forgotten all about his mother's latest charity event and with good reason. He hated these events but had agreed to go anyway. "Unfortunately" he grumbled loosening his tie. "I promised mother I would go. I take it you will be attending with bells on of course."
She smiled softly "it's for a good cause. You should be very proud of your mother."
"Yeah, yeah" sighed. Reaching for her hand he ran his fingertips down her bare arm. "So would you like to be my date Hardgrove?"
Annette looked up at him startled at first but then relaxed and rolled her eyes. "I have a date and even if I didn't the answer would still be no."
"Must I explain the concept of step siblings to you once again Sebastian?"
Grabbing her arm forcefully he pulled her onto his lap and smirked "explain it to me again."
"I don't like you like that Sebastian and I never will" she sighed but didn't move from his lap. "Besides I'm seeing Trevor. You know that."
He scowled "I was trying to forget." It wasn't very hard Trevor wasn't the sort to leave an impression. He was about as interesting as a piece of bread. Blandly handsome, somewhat smart but a complete bore. Apparently he was also completely okay with Annette's whole waiting until marriage thing. This led Sebastian to believe he was likely playing for the other team. "Annette sweetheart I think it's time for you to face the facts that old Trevor is gay as the day is long."
"Shut up Sebastian, he is not" she huffed angrily. "Just because he doesn't spend all his time sleeping around and has more on his mind besides sex does not make him a homosexual."
"I think they call this denial."
Annette shook her head at him. "Sebastian I care about him, deal with it. I know this may seem impossible to you but it is possible for two people to care about each other. Maybe even love each other. One day, possibly in the not too distant future it will happen to you. You'll meet someone and she'll show you that you can love just one woman. You'll realize you want to be faithful to just her and you'll want to spend every waking minute just living to make her happy. It is possible and if could happen to you if you-"
"SHUT UP! JUST STOP IT!"
Annette's eyes widened in surprise and she jumped back at the tone in his voice. "Sebastian what's the matter?" She asked softly.
Frankly he didn't know why he acted like that. He wasn't one to loose his composure in such a way. But suddenly he was feeling incredibly tense and was having trouble breathing. "I'm sorry" he muttered. "I don't know where that came from."
Her shock suddenly melted into compassion. Reaching out she gently caressed his face and asked "you can tell me, what is it?"
"I don't know" looking up his eyes briefly met hers and then he looked away. "It's just all that talk about love. I can't take it."
Before she could press him further for answers someone else walked into the room. "Valmont get the HELL away from my sister!"
Sebastian rolled his eyes in irritation before swinging his head around to face the intruder. His other step sibling Steven Hardgrove stood in the doorway glaring at them. Only eighteen months older than her he had all the same features of Annette minus the ample chest. Tall, with sandy blond hair and blue eyes and a lean body he was attractive but nothing exceptional.
Although Annette liked to tease that the two of them looked as if they could be brothers they in fact had nothing in common. Where as Sebastian liked to spend his time partying and charming women, Steven was more introverted. He had girlfriends but never for that long and wasn't as graceful in social situations as the other men in their circle. He was generally quite, well mannered and kept to himself. However not when it came to his step brother. He both despised and envied Sebastian and his lifestyle. From day one the two did nothing to hide their hatred from one another making the household all that much more tense. It didn't help any that Sebastian was constantly flirting with Steven's baby sister. This drove him insane.
Knowing this Sebastian purposely began to rub his hands along Annette's body. "Hey Steven, sis and I were just getting reacquainted."
"I mean it Sebastian get your hands off her" he snarled.
Annette rolled her eyes as she quickly climbed off his lap. "You guys knock it off" she warned. "Steven, we were just discussing the benefit tonight. You're going right?"
Cooling down he shrugged "yeah."
His sister smiled obviously pleased. She was always introducing her brother to girls, hoping to get him more socially active. "Have you asked Holly to go?"
"Um, I'm going to" he muttered uncomfortably looking to the ground.
"Steven" she sighed.
"I will this time!" He insisted. "I'm going to do it soon."
Sebastian smirked amused. Steven had been nursing a crush on Holly Sullivan for nearly a year and kept insisting that he would eventually ask her out. His pathticness amused Sebastian to no end. "Ahh, is John Boy finally going to grow a pair of balls and ask a girl on a date all by himself? Perhaps I should have mother break out the champagne."
Annette came up behind him and swiftly smacked him up side the head. "Shut up Sebastian. Don't you have something better to be doing?"
He chuckled "not really."
"Well I have to go check on my dress. Steven let me know how it goes."
Sebastian watched as she left and then smirked over at his stepbrother. "Hey, why don't you just have her ask Holly out for you. Then at the end of the night maybe she'll fuck her for you too."
Steven crossed his arms to his chest and didn't back down. "And what airhead bimbo are you taking tonight Sebastian?"
"Which ever one I want"
"Oh I can think of one girl you won't be taking." With a confident smile that seemed utterly foreign on his face Steven explained "no matter what you say or how hard you try my sister will NEVER have anything to do with you. Even if our parents never had married she's still too smart to get involved with a loser like you. Mock me all you like but at least I have a chance with Holly. Can you say the same about Annette?"
Steven turned and headed down the hall quite pleased for once he had the last word. Sebastian however scowled at his departing form and grumbled "we'll see about that bro." Reaching into his pocket he pulled out his cell phone and dialed. "Hey Holly it's Sebastian Valmont. I was just wondering are you doing anything tonight..."
He was going to be late. Glancing at his Rolex he cursed himself for not getting out of there sooner but it was beyond his control. Sebastian refused to leave until he got a look at his stepsister in her dress. Perverse yes but he had a feeling it would be worth it.
Meanwhile he sat in slumped in an arm chair on one side of the drawing room while Steven sat on the other side in front of the piano. He absent mindedly fiddled with the keys ignoring his step brother. Between them their parents stood embracing, whispering sweet nothing in each other's ears.
Jacob Hardgrove annoyed Sebastian to no end. A self made millionaire he was smart and generous but his stepson didn't care. He was always so cheerful and full of good will. It made Sebastian ill. It didn't help any that he always had his hands all over his mother. Not that she seemed to be complaining any.
As he kissed his wife's neck Natasha noticed a familiar photo sitting in a large frame on her piano. "Dear, I hate to be insensitive but do you think it's at all possible that we can remove that picture of Erica or perhaps place it somewhere less noticeable?"
Sebastian glanced at the pictures of the late Mrs. Hardgrove. She looked like an older version of her daughter. "Sweetheart I understand it might make you uncomfortable but Annette insists. She just misses her mother so much."
Valmont knew this to be true. According to his step sister, her mother was a glorified saint who Annette worshipped and her father adored. This of course didn't sit well with his mother and it was written all over her face. She glanced over at Sebastian and rolled her eyes. He smirked back at her.
"All right well we better get going. Good-bye Steven" she called waving her hand disinterestedly in his direction. As the couple passed Natasha bent down and kissed her sons head "see you later Sebastian."
"Have fun mother"
As they were exiting Trevor came back in. He had arrived a short time ago and was waiting patient for his date to make her entrance. At last she did and all three men stood to their feet. Annette came walking into the room looking distractedly into her purse, not noticing that she was suddenly the center of attention. "Okay I'm ready."
She had no idea how beautiful she looked and that made her even that much more breath taking. Wearing a pale blue strapless ball gown with her blond hair swept up into a bun and just the slightest touch of make-up she looked stunning. Looking up she noticed the three men staring at her. "What?"
Sebastian spoke up. "You look beautiful."
"Thanks" she smiled. "You guys don't look half bad yourself."
Annette took Trevor's arm and kissed his cheek and they murmured softly to each other. Sebastian scowled at this and started for the door when Annette's voice stopped him. "So Steven are you going to go pick up your date?"
Her brother shrugged casually "um, naw she can't make it. She has to stay home with her grandmother."
"That's too bad, I'm sorry."
She glanced dubiously over at Sebastian "and who are you taking tonight Sebastian?"
Without flinching he replied "Holly Sullivan."
You could hear a pin drop in the room it was so quiet. Sebastian relished every second of the look on their stunned and wounded faces. Without a word Steven walked out and slammed the door. Annette turned to her date "Trevor can you wait in the car? I'll be right out."
He made his exit and Annette closed the door behind him. Even though he sensed what was about to happen Sebastian still leered at her openly and asked "so you want to get me alone huh? I knew you-"
He was abruptly cut off by a hard smack across the face. That he hadn't been expecting. "Ow! Jesus Christ what's your problem?!"
Annette looked back at him with absolute fury. "You son of a bitch! Do you have any conscience at all?"
"Now, now" he grumbled. "Did they teach you that language in Sunday school?"
She ignored his playful insults and hissed "you knew Steven has had a thing for Holly for a long time and he was finally going to ask her out. You can have any girl you want but you purposely went after the one girl Steven liked! I can't believe you would ask her out just to hurt him."
"Believe it" he drawled.
"God look at you, so smug! Well hell Sebastian why don't you just finish the job! Take her back and fuck her on the couch for everybody to see! Then you can prove you're a real man!" He raised his eyebrows at her sudden vulgar use of language. Annette never spoke like this unless she was really angry. "Do you think this makes you a man? Do you? Well you're not! You're nothing more than a spoiled arrogant rich boy with nothing better to do than hurt other people."
"Annette-" he sighed.
"No I take back what I said earlier" she spat pulling away from him. "No one will ever love you. There's nothing there to love except vacant, empty hatred. You're a void Sebastian. You feel nothing, how could you and act the way you do. You're incapable of love therefor no one will ever love you, least of all me!"
Turning away from him she headed for the door. "Annette!" He called out "Annette, come back"
"Have fun with your date" she called back coldly before slamming the door behind her, leaving him where be belonged: alone.
As it turned out Holly wasn't so much of a catch after all. Apparently Steven didn't have such great taste in women. Color Sebastian shocked.
She was attractive enough. Leggy with long brown hair and nice breasts however he had met squirrels who were more interesting than her and had more going on in their head. All night she kept babbling on about her vacation in the Hamptons and filling him in on all the gossip. Like he gave a shit. As the night wore on he began to think this was his punishment for stealing Holly away from Steven. He was most definitely regretting this latest nasty joke.
However his obnoxious date wasn't the only reason. Sporadically throughout the party his eyes would wonder over to the other side of the ball room where Annette was sitting beside her date. If he was honest with himself Sebastian might admit the real reason he regretted what he did was because he knew he had hurt Annette. She was disappointed in him and for some reason that bothered him most of all.
"Sebastian" his date whined beside him "can we dance?"
"No" he snapped coldly. His eyes remained fixated on his step sister across the room. She glanced briefly in his direction and scowled before turning away. Yes he really had fucked up where she was concerned. Worst of all what she had said to him really got to him. More than even she knew. Something in Annette's little rant cut right to the heart of Sebastian. One that he very much had despite all appearances.
Sebastian watched with disgust as Trevor lead his date onto the dance floor and held her close. It was a nauseating display. One he couldn't watch for very much longer. At last he turned his attention away from his stepsister and back to his date who was looking up at him eagerly. Grabbing her gruffly from around the waist his pulled her into a sudden kiss. She was surprisingly quick to respond, telling him that indeed she was the slut he thought her to be. Breaking away he ordered her in a bored tone "get your shit, lets get out of here."
Holly looked back at him confused. "Where are we going?"
"Does it matter?" He barked irritated.
"Okay just let me say good-bye to my friends."
He nodded as he watched her walk off then rolled his eyes. Sebastian needed a distraction and Holly, as dumb as she was, would be the perfect candidate for that. He'd take her home, fuck her brains out and then forget about everything shitty in his life. At least in theory.
After finishing off his fifth glass of champagne that night he headed over to a group of girls to collect his date when he looked up and spotted something across the room. It stopped him dead in his tracks. Suddenly he felt faint and his heart seemed like it was about to beat out of his chest.
Two green eyes stared back at him. They were filled with longing, intensity and they seemed to mirror his own so completely it stung. This girl, this creature seemed to look right into him as if she could see into his very soul and know exactly what he felt in that moment. Indeed she likely did because she was feeling the exact same things. After all they were two halves of the same person.
Sebastian stood there glued to the spot, a million different emotions running through him. Happiness, anger but most of all fear. His throat felt dry, his body ached and he was suddenly sweating. No other girl had ever had this effect on him except the one standing twenty feet away. He was torn in that moment whether to run towards her or away from her.
Before he could decide the host of the benefit that evening announced that dinner was about to be served. All of a sudden all the people on the dance floor began to make there way towards their respective tables and as they did she seemed to disappear into the crowed. Sebastian looked left and looked right but she wasn't there. He felt nervous in that moment, naked, like any moment she could appear, throwing him completely off balance.
Turning around he pushed past the crowd, not sure where he was going, all he knew was he needed air. He couldn't breath and he couldn't stop shaking. Torn between wanting to throw up and smash his hand into the wall. Somehow he found himself standing in the alcove of the ballroom. Hidden enough but not completely out of sight.
Sebastian loosened the bow tie of his tuxedo as he gasped for air. He wiped at his damp brow, pressing his forehead up against the cool wall. All the while he told himself it couldn't be her, it couldn't be her, it COULDN'T. Not after all this time, after all these years. He told himself it wasn't her, he just imagined it but in his heart he knew it was a lie.
For years he would think he saw her. In a crowd, at a party or more frequently in his dreams. But it was just a figment of his imagination. Not now though, it had been her this time. Sebastian rocked back against the wall as he felt himself losing control. Only one person had the power to do this to him.
"Get it together" he grumbled to himself. "This won't do. Get it the fuck together. She doesn't matter."
Sebastian repeated this but he knew it wasn't true. She was the only one who mattered. The only one who ever did. He knew in his empty, vacant heart it was true. Like it or not- Kathryn Merteuil was back.
Three hours into the party and Annette was still fuming in anger over what Sebastian did. She didn't know why she was so surprised though. In the year she had known him she had never once seen him exhibit even a shred of kindness-especially towards Steven. However he had never gone this far before. He purposely set out to hurt her brother all for a laugh. It was petty and childish and beyond mean spirited.
At the same time though she didn't know why she was letting it bother her so much. After all it wasn't like she liked Sebastian in that way. As she had told him many times before she saw him as just a step brother, nothing more. Yet she couldn't help but admit she was disappointed with him. She thought he was better than this. Obviously she thought wrong. During the party she occasionally noticed him staring at her. This also irritated her but she couldn't say precisely why. Annette told herself it was because she was angry at him but she knew it was more than that. He wasn't looking at her like a sister and it was making her feel anxious and a little nervous.
"Annette? Hello Annette, anyone home?"
Trevor was waving his hand in front of her face. She realized she was staring off in thought. This was not the first time this happened that evening. Annette offered him a small smile "sorry what were you saying?"
Her date shook his head and sighed. "You've been doing that all night. What's going on with you today? You seem completely out of it."
She knew he was right. She wasn't being a very good date. Touching his face gently she sighed "I'm sorry Trevor, it's nothing. I'm just worried about Steven. You've been looking forward to this night and I'm ruining it for you."
"No you're not" he assured her. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
"You're sweet" she moved in and lightly kissed his mouth. "I don't deserve you."
They kissed once again and as they pulled away he noticed someone over her shoulder. "Hey there's professor Keaton. Do you mind if I go say hello?"
"Of course not" she replied distractedly.
As Trevor got up and made his way over to the professor Annette also noticed someone on the other side of the room. Not for the first time that night it was Sebastian. However this time it was different because as Annette watched him she suddenly became concerned. He was not just looking a little worse for ware, he looked downright ill. His face was completely pale and he was leaning against the wall as if he didn't have enough strength to stand up.
Forgetting her earlier anger towards him Annette got up from her seat and strode over to where he was hunched over by the alcove. Coming up beside him she touched his back "Sebastian?"
He nearly jumped a foot in the air before falling back against the wall. He looked even paler close up. "Sebastian what's wrong? You look like you just saw a ghost."
"I just did" he muttered. "My very own casper."
Annette was confused to say the least. "What's going on? Are you going to be okay?"
He turned away from her resting his head against the wall. "I-I just need some air" he mumbled.
"Maybe I should get a doctor?"
"No" he shook his head. "I'm fine, I just need to get out of here."
"Okay" she replied still completely clueless as to what the hell was going on. "Where are you going?"
"I don't know. Just do me a favor? Tell Holly I had to leave."
"All right" before she could question him further Sebastian stumbled past her and headed for the nearest exit. "Sebastian" she called out but it was useless. He didn't hear her. Annette didn't know what was happening with him but she was sure about one thing. There was something very wrong with her stepbrother.
Two hours later Sebastian found himself stumbling through the door. He had not been out drinking or screwing around all night. No he had been sitting in the parking lot trying to get his shit together with little success. At least he got his hands to stop shaking which was a plus. He would have hated to explain to everyone why he left his jag in the parking lot and took a cab home. After what happened earlier with Annette he would already have enough questions to answer.
That whole time all he could think about was her. Years and years of repressed memories floated to the surface. Every memory of Kathryn, and rest assured he recalled every second with her, seemed as vivid as the day it happened. All the happiness and all the pain she brought upon him suddenly seemed so real and tangible. So much so that he couldn't bare it.
Eventually though he managed to calm down and drive himself home. Now here he was grateful no one else was there for he very much wanted to be alone with his misery. Glumly he headed to his bedroom and made a beeline for the bar. He needed something, anything to make him forget what he had seen that night. Even if the numbness only lasted a short time.
Sebastian poured himself a scotch and brought it to his mouth when he suddenly realized he wasn't alone. Even before he turned around he knew who it was. Even before she called out to him.
Her voice sounded different but the same. Not as confident and almost sad. Sebastian shut his eyes as if hoping to shut out the dream and go back to reality. Trouble was, this very much was reality. Still not turning around he grumbled "what do you want?"
There was a pause. "Can you at least turn around and look at me?"
Reluctantly he slowly turned and met her gaze. For some reason he almost laughed. She was nothing more than a girl, barely a woman, and yet he was terrified of her. Then again nothing and no one could bring up in him the kind of emotions she could. Sebastian always prided himself on feeling nothing for no one. In fact though it was what he feared most, feeling. No one could make him feel like Kathryn could.
He considered her for a moment, getting his first real decent look at her. She sat poised on his bed just as she had a hundred times before. He wasn't surprised in the slightest that she was still beautiful. So petite she could almost pass for an innocent young girl if she wanted. However she was very much not a girl anymore and she was far from innocent.
They stared at each other in silence for a moment, sizing one another up. Finally he asked "how did you get in?"
"Martin recognized me" she replied referring to their doorman.
"Well he's fired" Sebastian grumbled under his breath just loud enough for her to hear.
Kathryn smirked just slightly. "You saw me at the party. Why did you run away?"
"I didn't run away"
"You didn't come over"
"I didn't see you walking across that room either."
"I didn't want to talk to you there. With all those people..."
There was another long pause of silence. Kathryn got off the bed and stepped towards him. Sebastian instinctually took a step back. A brief look of pain flashed across her face. "What are you afraid of me now Valmont?"
"Should I be?"
"No" she replied softly.
Finishing off his drink in one gulp Sebastian slammed the empty glass down on the bar. "Four year Kathryn. You show up here after four fucking years! What the hell do you want?!"
She didn't flinch at his anger, not surprising since she never did. Instead she moved towards him. "I think you know what I'm doing here."
As convincingly as he could he declared "I don't care."
Kathryn stepped closer until they were only a few inches apart. Looking up into his eyes she replied "you never could lie to me convincingly."
"Not really" she stepped closer. He could have kissed her if he wanted. "You still love me."
Sebastian snickered cruelly "no way." He moved past her desperate to look at anything but her eyes.
In a voice barely above a whisper she told him "it's funny...because I still love you."
He turned back on his heel to face her. "Well I don't give a fuck!"
"Yes you do." Her calmness was starting to irritate him. Especially when he was feeling anything but. "You can hate me and be as angry as you want with me but it doesn't change anything. No one on this earth knows you like I do just as no one else knows me like you do. We understand each other better than anyone else possibly could. We're two halves of the same person. Forever and always."
"Not anymore, not after what you did. You're right once upon a time I let myself feel for you but that's over with now. YOU ruined it."
Kathryn nodded in agreement "you're right, I fucked up."
"Oh gee you think?" He snarled back sarcastically. "There aren't words for what you did. We're over with Kathryn so just leave, get out of New York, go back to Europe I don't care."
She flinched "how did you know I was in Europe?"
Oops, he hadn't meant for that to slip out. Shaking his head he tried to back peddle. "I didn't, I just took a guess. Look there's nothing here for you anymore. I've moved on."
"There's someone else?"
"That's generally what moving on entails yes."
For the first time that evening Kathryn's body tightened and her jaw clenched in anger. He watched as she strained to contain herself. "You can't possible mean that piece of country club trash hanging on your arm all night? If so your taste is diminishing. Since when do you have a hard on for bimbos?"
Sebastian smiled for the first time that night. "There's the Kathryn I know."
"Who is she?" She demanded clearly unamused.
"It's not the girl I came to the party with. It's someone else, you don't know her. She's amazing. Beautiful, smart, caring and considerate and don't worry she has money too. In short she's everything you're not."
Kathryn crossed her arms to her chest and turned her nose up. "Caring and considerate? You're dating a telephone company?"
"Shut up Kathryn, you don't know her. The truth of the matter is she doesn't even compare to you."
She shook her head "you're lying."
"No, no I'm not." Striding over to her he looked her in the eye and bragged "she's incredible, I've never met anyone like her. I think I might be falling in love with her. But this time it's for real. Not just a bullshit infatuation like we had." Tears were starting to well up in her eyes now and he was torn between feeling guilty for making her suffer and his unrelenting anger. "Stop it!" He ordered "stop fucking crying, you're not allowed to play the injured party here. You are the one who ripped out my heart and served it to me on a silver platter. You are the one who betrayed me! You're not allowed to be hurt!"
Sebastian realized he was breathing rapidly and that his own eyes were now moist. He wiped at them and cursed under his breath. Turning away from her he prayed she'd go away. However as usual Kathryn didn't give up. She stood before him and for the first time that night she touched him. Sparks of electricity seemed to come from her hand as it gently made contact with his skin. A million memories came flooding back with that touch. "I'm sorry" she whispered caressing his face. "I'm so sorry for what I did. You'll never know how sorry."
He opened his eyes and looked down at her. Not for the first time that night he realized how beautiful she was. Dark hair, pale skin, those bright, intense green eyes and her body he had spent so many hours of his life worshiping. There was no girl on this planet he had lusted for as he did Kathryn Merteuil. He had had her a hundred times before but it didn't seem to be enough. Although he was furious and hurt he couldn't deny that a part of him longed for her as well. He wanted to force her onto that bed and melt into her like he had done so many times before.
Animal instinct took over and he grabbed her suddenly by the arms and pulled her close. Sebastian's mouth hung just above hers as he agonized over whether or not to indulge. He wanted her, god how he wanted her but he couldn't. Pushing her away roughly he ordered "get out."
Kathryn looked back at him and shook her head "no."
"Get out, get the fuck out Kathryn. Leave!" When she just stared back at him, undaunted by his anger he yelled "leave me alone! Leave damnit!"
Slowly she backed towards the door and turned away. "I'll leave, but I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to prove to you that I'm right."
He wanted to ask her what she meant by that but it was too late, she was already gone. Sebastian wanted to believe that she was gone for good from his life but he knew better. Things were far from over and settled between them. In fact he had the feeling that they were just beginning.
- to be continued (Please Review)
A/N: well what do you think? A little different, no? I'm not sure all of the chapters will be this long but we'll see. In the meantime please review and tell me what you think. Should I continue? I'll try and reply to all comments and question. Thanks for reading.