First off, I don't do fangirl Japanese. Period. In my opinion, it's messy writing because it's elitist and pretentious and, if you were fair, you would have to do a dictionary for people who weren't blessed with an introductory Japanese class. And half of it is probably improper.

So I've tried to get the equivalent titles/names in English. Which I realize, since I haven't seen the dub, and don't know Ed's rank, means a lot of conjecture. Ed will be Fullmetal to Roy (since I remember that from the subs I have), Edward to Hawkeye (she's proper and her saying Eddie for Ed-kun doesn't sound right), and Elric or Mr. Elric for the guys in Roy's office (since Ed is actually outranks them, they call him things like "Boss" and "Mr. Ed" (Ed-san... hehe, Mr Ed!) which sound odd. [insert last name here] sounds more military.) I did put a lot of thinking into this.


Part 2

"We've got to save Winry. Maybe the others know where Roy would be." Ed said starting off towards headquarters.

"But save her from what? She's with Colonel Mustang so she's safe," Al hurried after his brother wondering why he was suddenly so protective of Winry. "He only really picks on you. He is always real nice and gentlemanly with girls."

Ed whirled around and tried to calmly explain through gritted teeth. "Exactly."

Al didn't quite follow that logic. "Exactly, what?"

Ed knew that his dear sweet brother wouldn't understand that they did not want Roy to be 'nice' to Winry. Al's generous nature wouldn't know that whenever Roy was 'nice' he was really just being extra-manipulative. Ed decided to go another route. "So you remember that time I sneaked a peek at Colonel Mustang's private black notebook. If was filled with girls names and details. Detail, Al. Details."

"But everyone knows the Colonel Mustang uses a code. He's an alchemist and all alchemists have a code. You're even helping me to develop my own personal one. "Al said, mentioning one of the brothers' pet projects. Travel logs were fine for Ed but Al wanted something more personal. Thus was born "Alphonse Elric's "How to Train and Care for Kittens."

(Which Ed thought was stupid at first since no one could teach a cat to do anything. How Al was able to pick up to pick up the most evil-looking, feral stray and get it to roll over and 'mew' when you rubbed its belly after only three minutes of cuddling was still a mystery.)

Roy's code was legendary for its complexity consisting of hundreds of girls name, phone numbers, measurements, and details of romantics rendezvous.

"We don't know if he didn't add some real girls' information in the middle to throw people off," Ed said citing a common quirk in alchemist journals. The Crystal Alchemist's old journal for instance had a great recipe for ginger snaps. And Ed really did recommend baklava he tried in Lior, "I haven't had a chance to break that code. I won't take a chance to find out where the code begins and ends in his little 'kiss and tell' book."

Al didn't understand what his big brother was getting at, but followed him through the hallways of the military headquarters. Ed stormed through the middle of the hallway, purpose in his every step. The milling soldiers strangely stepped aside as if Ed was much larger than his small stature warranted. Finally finding the right office, Ed went to the person who seemed to always know everything. "First Lieutenant Hawkeye, where's the Colonel?"

"I'm sorry. On every first and third Thursday of the Month, the Colonel is allowed to take a whole day for personal research," Hawkeye didn't look up, continuing to efficiently look through the files against the wall. "So I'm not privy to his exact whereabouts. Sorry," Hawkeye pulled out a folder and turned to go back to her desk.

"Do you have any idea where does the Colonel usually likes to take his floozy of the week?" Ed asked. Hawkeye paused and glanced over her shoulder.

"Do I look like I keep track of Colonel Mustang's romantic life?" Though Hawkeye didn't say that statement with any emotion, from the narrowed eyes and the chill that went up Edward's spine, the alchemist backed up into his also frightened brother and they slowly backed away. For some strange reason, it felt like they had almost walked over their own graves. Hawkeye acted like she didn't notice their reactions and went to sit at her desk and read her file. As Ed wondered what to do next, the sound of laughter came from the hallway as the rest of Roy's staff returned from lunch.

"Oh hey, Mr. Elric, we didn't see you at the cafeteria," Fury said.

"Yeah. You're usually always there for Sloppy Joe Thursdays," Havoc mused, snuffing the end of his finished cigarette in his nearly over-spilling ashtray.

"The Colonel picked up Winry and I need to get a hold of them," Ed muttered cautiously not wanting to give out any details. It wouldn't do to look like he was worried about Winry. "Do you guys know where the Colonel would take her?"

"Then you'd better get your girlfriend before Colonel Mustang strikes again," Havoc frowned searching his pockets for a lighter.

"Winry's not my girlfriend," Ed sputtered. "I just don't want her hanging out with that bastard."

"She's probably alright," Farman tried to calm the young alchemist, "She's the same age as you so she's what 13? 14?" Farman mused out loud.

"What did you just say? You think I'm some pipsqueak little kid!" Ed screamed as he started a tirade about how anyone could mistake him for a grammar school kid or ignore his manly layer of peach-fuzz. This was not the day to get him pissed.

"Big Brother's nearly 17," Al politely supplied as he held back Ed and let his older brother fickle temper quickly burn out, before releasing him.

"Wow, time flies," Farman shrugged.

"But he's right," Breda slapped a companionly hand on Ed's back. "There's still a large age difference so nothing to worry about."

"But some girls do like going after older men," Havoc grimly observed, calmly taking a pull at his cigarette as Hawkeye quietly opened the window again in the background. She had closed them during lunch but maybe the breeze was better. "And Roy does prefer blondes."

"And your friend, Miss Winry, is attractive," Fury added, with a sigh "With those big eyes and long legs."

"Attractive, nothing! She's down right hot," Havoc said voicing his unasked for opinion. "Nice healthy, athletic build yet still stacked. Really growing up if you know what I mean!"

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Ed's top blew yet again. That was his ambiguously defined sister/friend-person after all and no one should be talking about any physical developments she could possibly have.

"Winry is pretty. Her hair looks all soft and shiny," Al added to the enthusiastic nods of the other men. Ed felt betrayed.

Hawkeye glided from her table, to the face the group. "I do believe that, just because the Colonel is not present, doesn't mean that work can be neglected." A frightened chorus of 'yes, ma'am' was heard as the men meekly returned to their work. Ed and Al found themselves ushered silently but firmly out by the industrious First Lieutenant.

"But I have to find Winry!" Ed protested yet still marched out the hallways since no one with any preservation instinct would dare disobey Hawkeye. Hawkeye paused as she pushed open the front door of Headquarters. Sticking a hand in her pocket, she pulled out a neatly folded slip of paper.

"If you insist," Hawkeye put the paper into his hand and left before even hearing his startled thank you.

Back at the offices the guys were diligently trying to appear hardworking, as they couldn't help but continue to gossip quietly. "So what do you think the odds are that Elric will find the Colonel?"

Havoc snorted. "And him being in time? The Colonel works fast with other guy's girls," he observed bitterly. The only female in a 20 mile radius that was immune to Roy's gilded tongue seemed to be Hawkeye.

"I think Mr. Elric could get there in time," Fury said generously.

"How much money would you put on that?" Havoc smiled cruelly, as Farman faithfully took out a small notebook and the guys began negotiating their bets on Winry's virtue and Roy's and Ed's fates. This activity was immediately silenced as the blond, strong-willed First Lieutenant who strode into the room.

The guys quickly found themselves interested in their work, as she faced them.

"Two week pay," Hawkeye smirked as she put down her bet.


"So why aren't you at work?" Winry asked then realized how rude that sounded. "Not that I mean anything by it."

Roy smiled and took off his gloves and placed them off to the side on the table. "All alchemists are researchers at heart. Especially State alchemists. That's why we endure people's ridicule as 'dogs of the military'. It's for the privileges and research possibilities that it affords us. Well, that and serving our country," Roy added, just out of consideration that it might be what she wanted to hear." Today was my personal research day."

"I'm keeping you. I'm so very sorry. If you want, I can-."

Roy gestured for her to stop. "Don't worry. How can I pass up the rare chance to meet with such a charming, young lady? By the way, that's a lovely sundress. The blue really brings out your eyes. Like a storm at sea," Winry blushed at the flattery. She sure wished other people had noticed it.

(Somewhere far away, Ed sneezes.)

The waiter came with their drinks and lunches. Roy wasn't very hungry so he only ordered a salad and a glass of water for himself, though Winry noticed that it had some items that looked like weeds. Also little olives and crumbly cheese. It was much fancier than the simple salads of iceberg lettuce and tomatoes she was used to.

Winry then eyed the slightly tinted, murky, milky texture of her drink. She had let Roy order her meal for her. One sip, though, instantly converted her though to 'fancy sodas'.

"This is really good," she exclaimed, pausing to eat the cherry on the top of the whipped cream. This was more like a desert than a drink. She knew Ed would have hated it due to it being half cream and milk. But Winry decided that she'd make Ed buy her one of these on her next trip and he would have to get one, too.

"I thought you would like it. Try your sandwich," Winry did so, marveling at the texture and how all the ingredients complimented each other. When Roy had originally suggest the odd sounding sandwich with thinly sliced meat, artichoke hearts, cheese, and oil and vinegar on some sort of fried bread, Winry wasn't too enthused. But now she saw what he meant.

"Wow. I was expecting just a grilled cheese sandwich and a bottle of pop at the cafeteria when you asked me out. This is really something." That would be what she would be getting if she was with Ed, unless he insisted on those hideous sloppy joes.

"Glad you enjoy it. It's a cheap price to pay for some vital piece of information."

"Information?" Winry didn't seem to follow.

"I'm just curious," Roy ventured, "Which do you like better? Fullmetal or Alphonse?"

"I like them both equally. Al is so sweet and caring. And Ed is so daring and smart. It's so exciting to be around them," Winry said fondly without a moment hesitation.

"Oh. It's one of those situations," Roy winked.

Winry blushed for a second, catching the mild insinuation before laughing. "Okay, you're just teasing me now."

"So I am. What did Fullmetal promise you this afternoon. Hopefully, not hanging around that tomb of a library," Edward was a boy-genius when it came to alchemy but obviously was a dunce at other subjects.

"Ed said they had some pretty good shows here in the city. If you could give me directions to the theater district, I could go there until the boys are done."

"Nonsense. I'll take you myself," Roy gallantly replied.

"Oh, Colonel Mustang, I couldn't impose," Winry insisted.

"Call me 'Roy'," Roy said flashing a smile that made him so infamous. "No need for formality."'

"But you're so much older than me," Winry blushed protesting "You're nearly old enough to be my father. It wouldn't be proper."

Roy's eye twitch was nearly audible. He was only barely 32. "I'm not that old."


Mmm. I love the sandwich I gave Winry. I order it every time my sister takes me out to apologize about something and beg my help. Also always get a French or Italian soda (but I really couldn't put "French" for the soda's description in the actual story.)