CHAPTER 18 - DEEP BLUE SEA SHARKS ARGH

Five minutes after the last chapter ended, or a week or so after I got off my ass and agreed to write another chapter, Norry, Liz and Jack (who doesn't get a nickname unless you count Jackie or Jackanory) arrived at the Dauntless.

'Greeeeeeetings, Daddio!' Elizabeth screeched, giving him a 'friendly' punch on the shoulder.

'Good day, dearest daughter, angel, treasure,' the Governor said, picking himself up painfully from where he had been knocked over onto the smelly wooden deck.

'Well. As you can see, I have been rescued,' said Elizabeth in that really really annoying voice that people always use when they're about to make speeches. 'I expect you should like to hear the whole story, accompanied by various slides, photos and visual aids. Refreshments will be served after the two hour talk.'

'Thanks but no thanks, love,' Governy Swanny said, hastily moving away.

'Ohhhhhhh ya, Daddy...' Elizabeth called. 'Will is currently being sacrificed by evil blinger pirates. Mayn't we please go save him?'

'Well, it's very sad he's getting sacrificed by pirates, very sad indeed. But no.' Liz's dad grinned and ate a live prawn because he was hungry, maybe.

'Please, Norry, darling' Elizabeth said flirtily.

'No,' Norry said, trying to eat a live octopus but failing.

'Do it for me, babykins,' Elizabeth said even more flirtily. 'As a wedding present.'

'Lizabub!' Elizabeth's dad said, proudly and excitedly. 'Are you accepting the Commadors proposal?'

'Sure am,' Liz said. 'Suckers,' she muttered under her breath.

Norry felt just like the Grinch did when his heart grew three sizes...in desperate need of some cardiotherapy.

'Really?' he choked, tears of happiness running down his face.

'A wedding, I love weddings, drinks all around!' Jack said chirpily, before whacking his nose on one of Norry's wig spikes.

'So...we gonna go back for Will now?' Elizabeth said hopefully.

'I thought you hated Will,' her father said.

Elizabeth took him to one side. 'I do hate him' she said. 'But if we rescue Will the story will be ever so much interesting and then I can tell Norry I hate him just when he gets his hopes up. No, I can dump him at the altar, that's so much more humiliating! Yay!'

'You're a cold cruel bitch, Liz,' Jack said loudly.

Norry glared at him.

'Now Mr Sparrow, trot along with er, Munroe and Wiggins here (remember the thick red-coat dudes from earlier?) and you must tell them directions for how to get to that place where we can save Will. Then we lock you up and hang you when we get back to Port Royal.'

'OK' Jack said.

'Mr Sparrow, you do know the compass bearing don't you?' Norrington said.

'Like, duh. Pirate,' Jack said, rolling his eyes. 'I'll get us there quicker than you can say "Jack Sparrow, Failed at Geography".'

...

Three weeks and five days later, the ship had gone on a round the world trip twice, stopped in Australia five times, moored in the North Pole too many times to count, discovered over 50 new islands and seen all the sights in Europe. Finally they were back to where they had begun.

Norrington looked at Jack evilly and handed him an atlas.