Hello all. Yes, I know I should be working on The Not-Quite-Love Letters, but this little plot bunny bit and it just would let go.
As for this little story, it's a one-shot, and in does no way apply to TNQLL. Just a little bit of Leia-angst to tide you over until I can get up the next chapter for TNQLL. And yes, the him is Han. Sorry it's so short.
Time: Between ANH and ESB.
Rating: PG (Just to be safe)
So enjoy. And please let me know what you think.
To Know Better
If she hadn't known better, there were sometimes, some brief moments when she could have sworn he cared. When his gaze lingered just a little too long to mean just friendly opposition, just strained tolerance, just professional acknowledgement. Times when deep in the recesses of her mind she thought he might find her just a little attractive.
If she hadn't known better, she would insist there were instances between them that you wouldn't categorize as completely platonic. When their gazes met during a briefing, when they stared at each other across a crowded room. And in a crazy moment of insanity she would think him handsome.
If she hadn't known better, sometimes she could have told you that some of their conversations – their fights – spawned more out of sexual tension than mutual annoyance. And she would swear that his casual touches – brushing against her in corridors narrow enough to permit, laying a hand on her shoulder – weren't so casual.
If she hadn't know better, sometimes she would explain the gnawing in the pit of her stomach when he was away not as simple hunger, not as nerves, not as lack of sleep, but as her missing him. Times when she wouldn't call the trembling she experienced near him fatigue, but hormones.
And if she hadn't known better, there were the briefest of sometimes, fleeting seconds as she lay in her bunk thinking of him, when she could have sworn he might love her. Where she thought that it was possible she might love him as well. If she hadn't known better.
But those were only sometimes.
And she always knew better.