Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh, Bakura would have been happy as well at the end. I feel so sad for him!
This fic changed a lot between conception and finished version. Why it is very stupid for me to plan things in advance. It pisses off the characters.
I found out in the end. When I was possessed, enslaved. Used to destroy you by the demon who brought his way into our world with my family's suffering, at Akunadin's hands.
The demon you bound. The demon my family kept you around to get their revenge on.
How strange, how much my spirit raged in its prison.
I never had to hate you. For all I spoke of blood on your hands, dishonor on your name, you were clean.
I wanted, when I aided you in getting the items, for you to recover your memories. There would have been no point in killing you if you didn't even know why, thought yourself an innocent victim, thought me the villain of the piece.
But I was.
Me, named for the god of the sun by day. You for the sun at night. How strange, that you should be the true light, holding Horakti, the destroyer of Zork, within your pure spirit.
All the power I earned by my hate could not fight your divine innocence.
I was used to fight your little one, and damn me, but I didn't know what to do. Duelist's honor, which I do possess fought with denial and contempt and the desire not to be like Akunadin, not to kill an innocent. Not to kill again the innocent damaged by my revenge.
And then I died again, and again, and again, and again. And Zork died with me. And I was free.
You got your name. The power of a god, the power of justice, was yours, not mine. And you deserve it.
But why did you not destroy me when I was weakened? Why did you hold my anchor, the ring, so carefully?
Did you know? Did you always know?
God damn you. Why don't you hate me?
You're finally free. You lost to your successor, the little one, who I have to say is more worthy than I. The gate is open, your soul is released, as is mine, by the Items.
And yet you turned around, almost through the door that opened to your name. You look to where I stand. And you beckon me on, into the heaven that only you deserve.
You died because of me. I tried to destroy all you held dear. The Items, my family, imprisoned you. Yet you forgive us all, invite us with you.
God damn you. But wait, you are a god. Named for what you are.
Only a god could be this forgiving.
I'm tempted to stay here, an angry lost ghost, my soul lost forever. But I can't turn you down. I owe you too much.
First you get my revenge for me. Now you forgive me and my family for all we've done to you.
God damn you.
And so I walk up to you, as you stand on that dais. Feel my body restored by the light, as those fools run to escape the collapsing chamber.
And I take the hand you reach out to me. And know I don't deserve this.
And you pull me through.
And behind us I can feel the Items destroy themselves, and my family and friends, my people are all around me, laughing and crying and finally free and in the heaven that they denied themselves, criminals that they were.
But you don't care, as you stand and smile as they prostrate themselves before you, and you lift them up, so they stand as the equals they are not.
What are we scum, next to a god? How could I have dared...
And as I bow to thank you, inadequate as that might be, for all you have done, you shush me, and smile, and shrug to say it didn't matter.
And I guess it didn't. They're here. We're free. My mother and sisters and the priests I killed.
I didn't fail.
They are saved. But by you. And god damn me, but I can't hate you for it.
And all around us there is rejoicing and your father is hugging you, and the priests are bowing, except for the tall one who is just smirking happily, and the girl with the Dark Magician Girl's spirit just glomped you.
But you smile is only on the surface. True, you are happy all of us are happy, but you aren't happy to be here.
You opened that gate to bring all of us home, didn't you?
You didn't want your name. Didn't want to put your little one in danger regaining your past. Didn't want to leave him, as you knew you must if you regained yourself.
You would have been perfectly happy to be with him, you beloved sweet self, forever. But you left.
You left so you would not cease to guide and begin to smother, be a crutch to a well man instead of an lifesaver to a sickly one.
You left your light, your heaven to bring all of us to ours.
God damn you.
You died before, to imprison the evil I unknowingly unleashed. And now you have died again, helping me, your worst enemy.
And as I stand on the edge of the party in the heavenly palace, you look over at me. And you smile sadly.
You forgive me for what you have done for me. In you view, there is nothing to forgive.
Justice in the name of god, you said. And this is your justice, in your name.
I can't forgive you. This is not justice, I say now as I said then. This is not what I wanted.
But... it is, isn't it. Everything I wanted. My family free and happy and safe, my enemy suffering... everything. Everything.
And suddenly I burst out laughing and can't, can't stop, even my father slaps me lightly and tells me to be a man.
The infinite mercy of god.
Bless your holy name.
Whew. Glad that's over. And I narrowly avoided making it at all AU. Go me.
Am tempted to do these little bio/introspection pieces for other characters. Joey, Seto, Mokuba, Tea... no inspiration yet, though. And not going to start one until Endless is finished. As I write this, I just had a great idea for a theme for a Mai one. D'oh. Free plotbunny?
Yu-gi-oh has so many wonderful characters. Even Weevil is a great character.
Yup, Ba-khu-ra get screwed over. And, no, I'm actually an English major, and the one philosophy class I took didn't go into anything like this. I just was born with the ability to get into character's heads, to understand what is going on with them.
Which occasionally means I have to leave during movies because I literally can't stand it anymore. I kinda have autism, Asperger's Syndrome, which means there are some things I just can't handle. Think mental allergy. More exposureworse, not less sensitive. Oh well. I rock, anyways.