Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Also, I don't own "My Life as a Teenage Robot". In fact, it has nothing to do with the show. I'm just borrowing the title.
My Life as a Teenage Shinobi
"Sakura! Get up, you'll be late for training!"
"Mmph..." Sakura buried her head in her pillows. 'Kakashi-sensei is always late, why can't I be?'
"Sakura!! Are you awake yet?"
'Just five more minutes...'
"Ahh!" Sakura yelled as she fell out of bed. She got up and started to untangle herself from the sheets.
"Okay okay! I'm up already!!" she screamed, kicking off the last of the sheets. 'Maybe I should go to bed earlier...'
She grumpily stomped off to the bathroom to do her business. And shrieked loud enough to wake up the neighbors. And quite possibly all of Konoha. "MOM!!!"
"...every month. And that's all there is to it. There's no avoiding it." Mrs. Haruno sighed as she finished her explanation. Sakura listened throughout the entire thing with wide eyes.
"Every month? How do you live with it? Doesn't it bother you?" she asked.
"Yes. You get used to it. No it doesn't bother me at all," her mom replied. She sighed again. "Now I don't understand why you didn't learn this in school! They should have taught you!"
"Mother, I went to a NINJA academy, not regular school, remember? They don't teach us things like...that." She suddenly had a vision of Iruka telling them about the wonders of being a teenager. Sakura shuddered. Then she caught sight of the time.
"Gah!! I'm going to be late! Mom I'll see you after training okay?" Sakura kissed her mother on the cheek and ran outside.
Mrs. Haruno sighed once again. "My little girl is finally growing up..." Then she was hit with something. Not literally!!
"...WAIT, Sakura! I forgot to tell you about..."
But unfortunately, Sakura was already gone.
Sakura ran down the streets of Konoha ninja style as fast as she could. She suddenly felt a sharp pain in her stomach.
"Ow!" she slowed down to a halt, holding her stomach in pain. The villagers stared at her for a moment, then went on to continue whatever they were doing.
"What the hell!" Sakura yelled to herself. "My mom didn't tell her anything about stomach pains. How could she have missed that one important little detail? How will I train now with this annoying cramp in my stomach? What would Kakashi-sensei think of me? First I'm late, now I can't train..."
"Sakura, what are you doing?" a familiar voice said behind Sakura as she continued to ask herself meaningless questions.
"Naruto will think I'm weird and...ah! Who cares about Naruto? Sasuke-kun will hate me because I won't be able to train with him!"
"I'm going to let the whole team down! I'll be weak forever! All because MY MOM DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT CRAMPS!"
"FOREHEAD GIRL SAKURA!!"
Sakura stopped complaining and looked up. "Ino-pig...what is it? Can't you see I'm busy--," Sakura's eyes traveled to Ino's forehead.
"Ino, why is your forehead protector...on your forehead?" she asked.
Ino slightly turned red and said, "Well forehead girl, that's where it's supposed to go, isn't it?"
"Yes but...didn't we agree on not wearing our forehead protectors on our foreheads until we have a fair fight? And who are you calling forehead girl? If you haven't noticed, your forehead's as big as mine!" Ino raised an eyebrow. Actually, it wasn't about the comment on her forehead. It seemed like she was counting how many times Sakura had said the word 'forehead'.
'Fore?' Ino snickered to herself.
"Well..." Sakura smirked slightly. "Did you want to fight now, Ino-pig?"
Ino stopped snickering. "No, it's not that..." Ino protested. "I can't fight with you right now. I have to meet my team...I'm running late..."
Sakura's eyes widened. "The team! Training!! Now I'm really late! Look what you did, Ino-PIG! We'll have to fight later!" With that she took off.
Ino looked relieved. She made sure her forehead protector was secure, and ran off to meet her team.
'Idiot...' Sasuke thought as Naruto tried to hold back his laughter, which of course, wasn't working at all.
"Hahaha! Hey Sasuke, c'mon, talk to me!" Naruto laughed. Sasuke merely glared at him.
"Good morning, Sasuke-kun, Naruto!" Sakura's voice reached their ears. Naruto gave Sasuke a mischievous look, and turned around to greet the pink-haired ninja.
"Good morning, Sakura-chan!!" Naruto greeted happily. "Guess what, guess what? Sasuke--,"
"Good morning, everyone!" Naruto was interrupted by a man sitting on the side of the bridge, reading his Icha Icha Paradise book. Sasuke looked glad to see him. But he looked disgusted at the book his teacher was holding.
"Ah, Kakashi-sensei, guess what, guess what!" Naruto said excitedly as if Christmas was coming early. He seemed to have forgotten that Kakashi, AND Sakura, were both late.
Kakashi looked up from his book, his visible eye showing curiosity. "Hm? What's that, Naruto?"
Kakashi and Sakura looked at Sasuke, who had kicked Naruto off the bridge.
"Sasuke-kun, what's the matter?" Sakura asked him, a little suspicious. Sasuke didn't answer. He walked over to the side of the bridge and rested his head on his arms as he watched Naruto reach the surface of the water, gasping for air.
"Sasuke!! I'll get you for this!" Naruto yelled as he swam to land.
"Sasuke, can you tell me why exactly you knocked Naruto off the bridge?" Kakashi asked, the tiniest bit amused. Sasuke didn't bother to respond.
"SASUKE!" was all Sasuke heard before he was knocked onto the ground on his stomach. He struggled to get up, but couldn't, as Naruto was sitting on top of him, grinning.
"You can't get away now!!" the blonde haired boy said.
Sakura raised an eyebrow at the two. "Naruto, what's going on?"
"Listen to him yourself. Sasuke! Say something!" Naruto said to the person he was sitting on. "Say something or I'll tell them myself!"
"Get OFF ME!" Sasuke said. Except, it didn't sound like Sasuke at all. In fact, it sounded like a little girl whining.
Kakashi and Sakura froze. Naruto just started laughing again.
"NarUto, I swEAr, if yOU don't get Off me..." Sasuke's voice kept cracking. Suddenly, Sakura started to laugh along with Naruto.
"Sasuke-kun...you sound like...a...MUNCHKIN!" she said, laughing. Naruto laughed so hard that he fell off Sasuke and started rolling on the floor. Kakashi snorted and started reading again. And Sasuke...
Sasuke just laid there, anger boiling up inside him. Oh, and embarrassment too. 'Don't let them get to me. Uchiha Sasuke does NOT get embarrassed! But...what's really happening to my voice?'
All of a sudden, Sakura stopped laughing and winced in pain. 'Oh no...not...again...' she thought. The three boys stopped thinking about the Sasuke predicament and got up.
"Sakura-chan, what's wrong?" Naruto asked with a worried look on his face. Sakura straightened up once the feeling was completely gone.
"Ah...nothing, Naruto. It's just normal," she replied.
The three looked at her, still not convinced.
"Erm...well...all girls...have to go through with it..." she mumbled, turning as pink as her hair.
Kakashi looked at Sakura, then at Sasuke...then at Naruto.
"Hm..." he started.
"What?" they asked, Sasuke's voice giving off a little squeak at the end.
Kakashi's smile could be seen through his mask. "You're all going through..." he stopped there and giggled, raising a hand to scratch the back of his head.
"What?!" the three asked again.
"You're going through..." he let out another giggle. The genins gave him an annoyed look.
"Hey, hey! Through what, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked, trying to stop the giggling Kakashi from...giggling.
"...through...through...pu...hahaha!" Kakashi started to cackle like an insane person.
"Kakashi-sensei!!" Naruto and Sakura yelled. Sasuke didn't bother to yell because...well, you know.
"...pu...pub..." Kakashi snickered. It seemed like the word "pu" was the funniest thing on earth to him right now.
"WhAT IS it alrEADY?" Sasuke's ever changing voice said. But alas, it only made Kakashi laugh even harder. Sakura rolled her eyes. She grabbed the front of Kakashi's vest and started to shake him.
"Sensei!!" she said, shaking him like there was no tomorrow. Which looked weird, because all the while Kakashi was still laughing like a madman holding a perverted book in his hands. Naruto and Sasuke sweatdropped.
"Okay, okay..." Kakashi stopped Sakura from shaking him and finally stopped laughing hard enough to answer. "Well, let's just say you're growing up."
"Growing up?" said Naruto. Kakashi looked at him.
"Maybe except you."
"You idiot! Isn't it obvious? Sasuke's voice is changing because he's more mature than you are!" Sakura said, smacking Naruto on the head. Naruto turned to her.
"But what about you, Sakura-chan? Your voice isn't changing?" this statement earned Naruto another smack on the head.
"Idiot!" she said again. "I'm a girl! It's different!" Naruto scrunched up his face.
"But, but, how come MY voice isn't changing?"
"MAybe it's becAUse yOU're a gIrl," Sasuke squeaked.
With that answer, Naruto stared hard at Sasuke and pointed at him. "Shut up! Guess what?! I've decided that I'm going to beat you at being more mature!"
"IdIOt. ThAt dOESn't even mAke seNse," Sasuke said, his voice as squeaky as ever.
"It makes perfect sense! I have to beat everyone at everything if I'm to become Hokage!"
"What does growing older first have to do with being Hokage?" Sakura asked, looking annoyed for Sasuke.
Naruto grinned at her. "Everything!" he said. "Now...how do I become more mature?" he asked her, his voice slightly lower. Sakura's eye twitched. Then she calmed down. She decided that she would just humor him.
'AND LET'S HAVE SOME FUN WHILE WE'RE AT IT!' Inner Sakura yelled gleefully. Sakura held back a giggle.
"Well, to start off, you have to stop playing those jokes of yours," she started. Naruto nodded, repeating what she said.
"No more jokes. No problem."
"Next, you have to stop screaming in that whiny voice of yours all the time. A mature person does not scream, and he definitely does NOT whine," Sakura said.
"No screaming, no whining, easy," Naruto repeated.
She continued. "Then, you have to stop asking those stupid questions of yours."
"No more stupid questions. Is that all to this maturity thing?" Naruto said to himself.
"And finally..." Sakura smirked slightly, "...you have to eat healthy. You can't live off ramen for the rest of your life, you know!"
At this, Naruto stopped talking to himself and stared at Sakura. "NO WAY! You mean to say that I can't have ramen anymore? You're JOKING!"
Sakura smacked her head. "Naruto, have you been listening to anything I've been saying? You just broke every rule of maturity in those three sentences!...anyway, you can have ramen, just not everyday. Actually, let's say you can only have ramen once a week." With that, she crossed her arms with a smug look on her face. Naruto just kept staring, slack jawed.
Kakashi decided that that was enough and cleared his throat. "Well everyone, now that that's taken care of, why don't you three go off for one hundred laps around Konoha?"
Sakura looked at him. "Er...but Kakashi-sensei..."
"Alright, fifty laps."
Sakura sighed. She then raised an eyebrow. "Kakashi-sensei?"
"What is it, Sakura?"
Kakashi doubled over in laughter as Sakura snickered and went off to catch up with the others.
AN: I know, stupid idea. But it was just sort of bugging me to get typed up so I did it. After working on my other fic in progress, I wanted a more light hearted story. And what better than to focus on the rookie nine going through their teenage years? Yes, that's right, I'm doing a chapter for each team. Most likely two per team. Next chapter will be Team 10! I still don't know if I'm going to add Gai's team in here. But it would be funny to have Gai give them "the talk"...
I also noticed that I made Kakashi a bit OOC. Well I h ave seen him giggle in the anime, so why not giggle here? Besides, this fic is sort of AU anyway. And Sasuke, goin g through the voice change? Priceless, isn't it? Hehe. Naruto, being ever so competitive, wants to beat Sasuke at being more mature. And finally, Sakura, the typical teenage girl who has to go through that process every month. I assumed that they didn't teach that sort of stuff at the ninja academy because they graduate from school at an early age.
Yes, I know the "fore" joke was a horrible pun. But, whatever.
Anyway, enough rambling from me. Was my story generally good enough so I should continue? Or should this one be sent to the recycle bin? Tell me what you think. Please, no flames...
Thanks for reading,