Disclaimer: Kim Possible and friends belong to Disney Corporation. This is written for fun, not profit.
Author: PT Malvik -
Rating: Femslash - PG-13, for romantic situations between two girls. (The lemon version of this fic can be found at my livejournal, see my profile for URL)
Pairing: Kim/Shego
Summary: Cliches and fun, it's a game of truth or dare.



Kim had noticed more than once that supervillains liked lairs with high ceilings.

They also liked lairs that were nearly impossible to access, which also meant they were nearly impossible to exit if something went wrong with the secret entrance.

Looking at the five ton steel trap door gracing Drakken's latest lair, its handle cut off by a large fallen chunk of a formerly high ceiling, Kim had to admit that something had gone wrong.

Very wrong. "I think this way is a no-go," she said, brushing handfuls of plaster dust away from her hair and shoulders.

Shego was forced to agree. "Oh, great," she groused. "I told Drakken we needed a back route."

"This wasn't the back route?" Kim asked, looking at the door's impractical, at least for non-supervillain types, placement.

"It was the only route," Shego replied. She flopped down into a heavily damaged leather chair, its high back crooked from the force of yet another untimely supervillainess-versus-teen hero explosion.

Drakken's lairs usually suffered from those a lot too.

Kim bit her lip and looked up at the gaping hole above them. "I don't suppose we can climb out of here with my handy-dandy grappling hook?"

Shego sighed. "Does it have a 200 foot rope? Or is it 250 feet this time? As you can see, the ceilings keep getting higher."

"Um, yeah, I noticed. The rope only goes 80 feet."

Shego blew at a stray gray hair hanging over her nose. Gray from plaster dust or frustration, she wasn't sure which. "And, of course, my buddy Drakken got his ass out of here just in the nick of time."

"So did Ron," Kim commiserated. Another large piece of plaster hit the ground with a resounding crash and they both jumped, startled. "Er, Shego, is this room stable? Because it really looks like this whole place is going to fall down, as in really, really soon."

Shego looked up, her face a study in blase pain. "Considering it was built in a week out of rejected materials on a shoestring budget, why don't you tell me if you think it's stable or not."

"I'll take that as a 'no'." Squinting, Kim started to inventory possible escape routes. She wasn't seeing any. "Why do you build on the cheap anyway? Isn't it worth it to invest some bucks into these places?"

Shego glared at her, looking very much like a soccer player about to kick the ball into an unguarded net. "Because ... Kimmmie." Sarcastic emphasis colored the name. "If we had enough money to build a proper base we wouldn't have to go around stealing for a living, now would we?"

Kim was nonplused. Having very little time to make it out of a shaky lair alive made her immune to mockery. "Have you thought that maybe it's time for a different career?"

Shego wasn't phased either. "Tell you what, Kimmie. You get us out of here alive and I'll take up any career you suggest. Dog walker, cashier, salesgirl at Club Banana ..."

"Housewife?" Kim quipped, testing a support beam with a gentle tap.

"That would be difficult, considering I only sleep with women."

The beam smashed to the ground. Kim whirled around, gaping at Shego through a swirling cloud of dust. "Pardon me?"

Shego rolled her eyes and gave a distasteful brush to her already ruined jacket. "I said I couldn't be a housewife, Kimmie. Because I don't sleep with ..."

"I heard that. I mean, I didn't hear the I don't sleep with men part. I did hear the 'I only sleep with ..." Kim paused between barely coherent babbles. "I mean ... not that ... well, there's nothing wrong with being a ... a ..."

Another eyeroll. "It's called being a lesbian. Say it with me now. Come on, you can do it." Shego repeated the word slowly, with a smirk. "Lessssz-beeee-han."

"Oh God." Kim could feel her eyelids; they were stretched to the max, her lashes resting somewhere just below her hairline.

"While God may very well be a lesbian, you're still not saying it. Come on, Kimmie. You aren't homophobic, are you?" Shego paused, as if thinking of an even better way to tease. A wicked smile slowly spread over her face. "Or are you a lesssz-bee-han too?"

"No!" Kim cried, taking a step backwards away from Shego, nearly tripping over her feet in the process. "No, I'm not!"

"So you're homophobic then," Shego said casually, examining her nails.

"No!" Kim shouted, looking around wildly. There had to be an escape route. There just had to be. "I'm not any of the above! I'm ... I'm ... "

"Confused?" Shego interjected 'helpfully'. "I used to be like that myself. Until a kind woman showed me the way." Sly grin. "Are you looking for a little kindness, Kimmie?"

Kim backed away until her butt hit a wall. It trembled, then fell down in chunks around her. "Ack!"

"No?" said Shego, ignoring the destruction surrounding them. "Good, because I'm not known for my kindness."

Finally, Kim lost her temper. "Look, Shego. I don't care if you're gay. I do care that we are going to end up as a pair of pancakes if we don't figure out a way to get out of here."

"There is no way out," Shego said with disturbing calmness, putting her feet up on a smoking console. "So I suggest we do something else to while away the time until the pancake breakfast." She reached down and dug for something in the console's battered drawer, making a satisfied sound when she found it. "Ah! Here it is!"

"Is it something to get us out of here?" Kim asked hopefully.

"In spirit only," Shego replied, holding up what looked suspiciously like a bottle of vodka. "Up for a game of truth or dare?"

"Truth or dare? We're going to die!"

"What better time to play? You can pick truth every time and I'll never get to tell anyone your dirty little secrets."

"But ... but ..."

"Or we can play Spin the Bottle," said Shego slyly. She put the vodka on its side and purposefully pointed the neck at Kim. "Ooooh, look who I got!"

Kim frowned. With a defeated sigh, she pulled forward another ruined chair and sat opposite Shego. A pair of Las Vegas shot glasses were found (Drakken had an odd collection of them he carried everywhere with him, Shego explained) and the first two drinks were poured.

"Down the hatch!" Shego exhorted and smoothly drained the glass.

"Yeah," said Kim, wrinkling her nose as she raised the drink. She took a gulp, sputtering at the burn. "Gah! That's harsh."

"Sorry, but we're all out of wine coolers," mocked Shego. She brightened and rubbed her hands together looking more like the fun-loving supervillainess she was. "Now, truth or dare? If you chicken out on either of them, another shot is yours."


Shego wasted no time. "So what's up with you and the dorky kid? Is it love or pity?"

"You mean Ron? Oh, he's been my best friend forever and he's really, really sweet, and sometimes I kind of think he likes me and sometimes I sort of like him, but I kind of have this crush on Josh Mankey, who is really, really cute, but he doesn't notice me that much and Ron does and sometimes I think that ..."

Motioning for Kim to stop, Shego rolled her eyes. "Okay, that was boring." She poured another shot of vodka into her glass. "My turn. I pick ... truth."

Kim thought for a moment. Now was a good time to get some information on Drakken's schemes in the works or his other lairs or ... Oh, to heck with that. She was going to dig for the dirt. "What's up with you and Drakken? I don't think he'd be your type even if you were straight. Why do you hang with him? What's the attraction?"

Shego stared at her drink with a thirsty expression. "I'll chicken." She downed the fiery liquid and smacked her lips with a pleased expression. "Your turn."

"Oh, come on!" Kim cried. "You just want to get wasted. You didn't even think about it."

"What's to think about?" A shrug. "Drakken does the thinking, I do the doing. I get to steal, fight and order goons around which is what I like to do. He does all the boring stuff, like plotting to take over Minnesota. We're a match made in hell."

"Ah-ha! You just answered my question," Kim smirked, enjoying the annoyed expression on Shego's face. "And now, I pick ... dare."

"Good. I dare you to climb to the top of that beam and yell "Oy! Have I've got cramps!"

"What? That beam is about to fall down. I'll get killed," Kim exclaimed angrily.

"Cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck ..." Shego crowed, shoving Kim's drink a few inches closer.

"Dares aren't allowed to be deadly!"

Shego waved off Kim's protest. "That rule doesn't apply to us. We take up deadly dares every day, don't we?" Her fingernail clicked impatiently against Kim's glass. "So is it truth, dare or a shot of fun?"

Fuming, Kim downed the drink, this time without a single choke. The shot glass was put down with a smack. "Your turn. And I sure hope you pick dare this time."

"Are you daring me to dare?" Shego asked playfully. "Or are you daring to dare me? How dare you!"

Maybe it was the booze, or maybe the ludicrous nature of the situation they were in, but Kim couldn't help the giggle that escaped. "Come on, Shego. Truth or dare."


"Hmmm. Let me think. I want this to be a good one."

"Take your time." Shego took another shot, her smile relaxing into something surprisingly natural. "I should have stocked up on some Malibu rum while I was at it. Although we don't exactly have a Coke machine to go with it."

"All right, here's one. Who's your biggest girl crush?" Kim giggled again, and with a triumphant swig, downed a shot of her own. "In fantasy and reality."

A splutter, then a cough. "Damn, I'm going to be sending us to some twelve-step meetings after this one." Shego leaned back in the creaky chair, thinking. "In fantasy, nothing beats a night with Nicole Kidman."

"Ooooooooooh," Kim said, laughing. "What's the best part? Her long legs? Her pretty dresses? Her trillion dollar bank account?"

"It's the red hair," Shego replied. "I'm a sucker for redheads. And as for reality ..." She toyed with the glass, then chucked down another shot. "I chicken."

"That's not fair," Kim pouted. "You can't answer half the question. In fact ... " She rose and jestingly put her hands on her hips, giving Shego a fake glower. "I'm not letting you chicken. If you don't answer, you'll have to do a dare."

"Okay, fine. I'll do a dare. Give me your best shot."

Kim smiled wickedly. She picked up a phone, which was somehow still working, and handed it to Shego. "You have to call your real life girl crush right now and tell her you're hot for her bod."

The strangest expression crossed Shego's face; a cross between a gape of horror and grin of amusement. "You're a bitch, Kimmie," she finally said, in an oddly admiring tone. "I like that."

"Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up!" Kim squeaked, her stance rather off-balance. How many shots had she done? Certainly more than she'd ever done in her life, that was for sure. She shoved the phone into Shego's hand. "And you have to say it like you mean it, not all fast and stuff. You have to say, slooowly: "Hi there sexy, I'm so hot for your bod." Go ahead!"

Shego seemed lost in thought for a moment. Above them, the ceiling began to make an unwelcome cracking sound. There wasn't anyone to call for help -- it would take emergency services a week to even find them ...

She picked up the receiver. Hit the first number with a dramatic flourish, as Kim giggled wildly. "I can't wait to hear this," Kim snickered.

The rest of the numbers followed. Shego hummed a quiet tune, before turning to Kim: "It's ringing."

"Hee, hee ..." Suddenly, Kim's cell phone went off. "Oh, brother," Kim grumped, flipping open the receiver, expecting nothing more than Ron trying to explain why he bailed on her and what he was going to do about it. "Hello?"

The voice on the other end wasn't Ron's, but it was familiar, and slow and sweet as honey. "Hi there sexy. I'm so hot for your bod."

It was Shego. Calling Kim from the phone on her lap and Kim's mouth dropped open, her jaw nearly hitting floor. She stared at Shego who was smiling like the cat who ate the redheaded canary.

The phone was hung up with a click. "It's my turn, babe," Shego smirked. "Prepare for some fun."


Shego's eyes turned the most disturbing shade of green, more vibrant even than the spandex that covered her slim thighs. Wait a minute ... was Kim actually looking at her thighs?

No. No, no, no and ...

"Truth or dare, gorgeous," Shego said, looking catlike in the dim light of a falling lair.

"Uh ..." Kim swallowed hard, hearing the light bulbs above them pop and shatter, one by one. The walls groaned under the pressure of the collapsing ceiling. The chances of rescue were getting slimmer by the minute. "Dare," she gulped, hoping Shego would dare her to find a way out of there.

With a little added peer pressure, maybe she could ...

No such luck. "I dare you to kiss me. And not all fast and stuff," Shego purred, repeating Kim's command. "You have to do it like you mean it. Slowly. With feeling."

Maybe it was the booze, maybe it was the situation, or maybe it was something different entirely although what, Kim didn't want to think about. All she knew was that her heart was pounding, her lips were tingling and if this was how her body reacted to just the thought of kissing Shego, then ...

Did she dare? Yeah, she did.

Lips pursed and eyes closed, Kim leaned in, trying to play Pin the Lips on the Enemy, but a finger placed softly against them stopped her in her tracks. She felt a warm whisper in her ear. "Careful," Shego said gently. It was such an odd tone for her. "Like you mean it, Kim."

Just Kim this time. Not "Kimmie", or "idiot", or "fashion disaster" ... just Kim.

It made her want the kiss that followed. Kim could taste the afterburn of vodka, felt Shego's sharp tongue against her own. Fingers were in her hair, soothing and pulling while she reached out to surround Shego's slim waist with her own hands.

The material of Shego's suit felt slippery and hot, just like her tongue. The kiss turned deliberate, calculating, and Kim wondered vaguely if this was how Shego did everything but Kim wasn't exactly a wilting lily herself. Passivity wasn't her style. Still ...

'I've forgotten to breathe," Kim thought, panting as Shego's lips departed and traced their way across her jaw ... her throat. Little bites down Kim's neck and the thrill raced up her spine in waves. 'I've forgotten how to think.'

A moment or two, or maybe an hour passed and Kim raised her head from Shego's shoulder, still feeling the aftershocks of the kiss, her cheeks burning with embarrassment.

Did she just do that? God.

Shego only looked thoughtful, staring at the ceiling, which was truly starting to disintegrate. "We really should get out of here."

Kim blinked. "We already discussed this. There's no way out, remember?"

"Actually, there's this little back route I sort of forgot about," Shego said innocently, straightening her clothes out. "It's right over there."

Kim squinted toward where Shego pointed, and sure enough, there was another doorway, barely visible in the dusty gloom. "You lied to me," Kim gaped. "I can't believe you just lied to me."

Shego kissed Kim lightly on the nose. "If you'd asked when we played Truth or Dare, I'd have told you. I have some personal standards, you know."

"No, you don't," Kim replied, but her anger was fading quickly. Great orgasms had a tendency to do that to her. With a quick shot of her grappling gun, she grabbed onto Shego's waist. They both swung over the debris, toward the unlocked door.

To Kim's surprise the door swung open from the outside, revealing Ron and Drakken, standing side by side, the same worried expression lining both their faces.

"KP!" Ron cried, pulling her out, just as the ceiling shuddered and came down with a horrible crash!

"Shego!" Drakken yelled, scooping up his partner and yanking her away from Kim and Ron. "By all that's unholy, I thought you were dead."

"Yeah, like you really cared," Shego muttered. She rolled her eyes at Kim. "I'll see you around, Possible. Try not to play too many games of Truth or Dare while I'm gone."

Kim blushed deeply. "When you say, 'I'll see you around', do you mean I'll see you around during out next fight, or I'll see you around town sometimes, or ..."

Shego sighed, before giving Kim an indulgent smile. "I'll ... see ... you ... around," she said deliberately, and winked.

A moment later, she and Drakken were gone courtesy of his flying machine, although Kim could still hear Drakken's voice, whining somewhere above them. "What do you mean by that, Shego? Do we want to see this girl again? I mean ..."

"Yeah," said Ron, scratching his head. "What did she mean by that, KP?"

"Oh, nothing," Kim replied. grabbing Ron for a grapple back to civilization and a night full of very good dreams. "Just don't ask me to play Truth or Dare, Ron. Because I'm only going to play that game with one person from now on."


the end

Thank you for reading. Reviews are very welcome! Now, back to "The Substitute".