SPOILERS: Second season: Secrets, foreshadowing to Sha're's passing in the third season
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you Kris for the feedback. The dream sequence is italicized for differentiation.
DISCLAIMER: The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.
"Will you stay?" Sha're asked in hesitation that was clear in her voice while searching her husband's face for a flicker of hope that was also in her eyes. She felt unsure of her request and deemed unworthy of her husband's reply. She was still coping how the bitter words, 'Apophis purpose for the child' rolled out from her dry mouth after witnessing Daniel's shock swept in waves inside her father's tent that felt like a slap from a heavy hand on her cheek.
"No, I can't..." Daniel's reply came two seconds later but continued to hold her close in his arms. Confusion stung inside her like a spatter of cooked oil on flesh when his words crumpled the hope she held. She wanted to free herself from his embrace.
She could not bear the pain that lanced at the back of her mind but she missed him so.
Sha're's eyes started to well from unbidden tears, realizing that her Daniel does not love her.
'It was not his fault. He reacted this way.' She told her herself. She should have known. It was her fault all along.
"...Because I want you to come home with me," he added.
Sha're looked back at him, briefly. She shivered not from the cold but the love she felt from him. The slivers of hope returned and warmed her heart. Yet, she could not deny the fear that she would soon give birth and the Goa'uld Ammonet will take over.
'It would not matter. Daniel will be there, he promised. He never failed in keeping his promises.' Sha're assured herself again.
Daniel guided Sha're quickly, standing in front of the stabilized event horizon generated by the Stargate with Teal'c bringing up the rear.
It was risky to chance it since Sha're was not too far long in giving birth but Daniel did not like the idea of letting his wife stay in Abydos either. Especially since Apophis could well arrive at the time of the child's birth. Yet, gate travel might have some adverse effects on the heavily pregnant Sha're and the unborn child. Then, there was Maybourne...
Daniel pursed his lips as he took another look at Sha're, bravely stepping beside him in entering through the gate. It was a huge risk and those thoughts churned repeatedly in his mind to no end even until they emerged on Earth's side.Mount Cheyenne - SGC
Alarm klaxons wailed around her, lights of crimson colors swirled in dizzying fashion, booted steps echoed, and unfamiliar faces came into the room. The noisy activities of the big room filled Sha're with fear. It erupted from the depths of her soul. Her face harried as she coped to maintain the brief mental calmness through out her body. She was afraid, she would of inadvertently communicate any heightened emotion to the sleeping Goa'uld, sufficient enough to wake the creature. She gripped Daniel's arm tighter than it was possible.
"My Daniel, what is this place?" She asked in fearful tones while heaving another deep breath. She spied at the strangely clad men with weapons similar to what O'Neill gave Skarra. The ones used to protect them from the demons, long ago.
"This is Earth, my home." Daniel replied while gently turning his wife's face to him. He positioned his body in such a way that he was barring Sha're's sight from the military men lined up in the embarkation room. He wanted her attention directed only to him. His actions were rewarded since she relaxed visibly although he did notice how his wife flinched at the sound of Hammond's voice, echoing in the embarkation room.
Sha're looked around for the voice's origin. It seemed to be coming from thin air. Daniel draped a comforting arm around her shoulders, reassuring her that this was normal in his world. She shivered from the impending fright if the Goa'uld Ammonet found out where they...where.
"It is no wonder, you do not find peace here," she began still shaking in dismay while focusing her mind to what she was saying. "It is more noisy than Skarra's ring of friends could carry through," Sha're chided him, lightly while watching the comings and goings of military personnel in the room. Daniel chuckled at the comparison and squeezed her shoulders while planting a kiss on her forehead. He missed Sha're.
"It is only General Hammond," Daniel remarked, pointing at the man standing inside the observation deck, delegating an order.
"There's nothing to fear," he continued speaking to her in soft tones and kissing her head as they walked down the ramp.
Soon, the embarkation room door slid to the side. General Hammond strode into the room with Dr. Janet Fraiser followed by her own medical team and met the arrivals at the foot of the ramp.
"General, Doctor," Daniel started. "I like you to meet my wife, Sha're." He introduced her to his friends.
Sha're did not move an inch from Daniel as she gazed at them. "It's all right. They're friends," he coaxed when he noticed her, unmoving.
"Ma'am," General Hammond greeted while extending his hand for a handshake. "Welcome to SGC."
Sha're stared curiously at the hand and glanced at Daniel.
"It's like what I told you, Sha're," Daniel smiled. "That's the way, when we greet new people we meet," he said while nodding at the open hand.
Sha're paused as if recalling a past lesson and later nodded in understanding. She extended her hand out and set it beside the military officer's hand without grasping it with her own.
Hammond glanced at Daniel who sheepishly mutters something unintelligible near his wife's ear. Immediately, Sha're took the offered hand and shook it before letting go. She turned to Janet and returned the shake. Janet gave Sha're a warm smile while stifling a chuckle for her general.
Abydonian, no doubt. Hammond thought as he watched the brief exchange between the couple. He later asked them about the Goa'uld. Daniel informed the general that it was asleep.
No sooner had Sha're let her hand clutched Daniel's arm again for support, the Abydonian woman screamed and crumpled to the floor in pain, clutching her swollen abdomen.
"She's due, isn't she?" Janet asked Daniel but she already knew the answer even before he could speak up.
General Hammond waved away the military personnel out of the gate room. The platoon leader immediately signaled his men towards the exit.
Sha're shook Daniel's arm, desperation in her eyes. "Please, take the evil thing out of me! It's forcing the baby out!" She screamed as the contraction came.
Daniel alarmed at his wife's request could only stare in mute shock. Seconds ticked. Too precious to let go. Sha're reached out for the Jaffa. "Please! Take it out!"
"What is she talking? Doctor Jackson!" Hammond demanded from behind Doctor Fraiser.
"It's the Goa'uld larva, sir. It's not active in her body so she could carry the baby full term. If not...if not," he choked from emotion. "Still birth." He managed to say as Janet looked curiously at him upon hearing this find. "But now, at the end of pregnancy, the larva's trying to regain control," Daniel explained as realization hit him. He waved away Janet's hand that was holding an injection.
"But she needs it to help her through the pain," Janet told him.
Daniel shook his head, firmly. "Sha're," he enunciated carefully. He wanted to make sure his wife heard him through her groans. When Sha're turned to face him, he saw how she was fighting to maintain the little hold of her mind. Her countenance was a writing of embattled emotions kept inside her. He can only guess, it was caused either by the physical pain of the coming birth or by the resurfacing psychological trauma that was previously restrained under the Goa'uld's influence. He coughed. He felt unseen hands were squeezing his heart that moment.
"Sha're," he repeated and was assured that he had his wife's full attention when her brown eyes met his own blues. "If we take the evil demon, you..." he stopped, his own emotions caught in his own throat. "You will not live long," he ended quickly. Tears welled in his eyes.
Sha're expelled a breath. She was safe. Her Daniel will do it. She could see his love for her has not change, yet the pain of the loss reflected in his eyes were very clear, for it was also in her eyes.
"I-- want to be ---free again, my Daniel," she said in gaps.
Janet bit her lip trying to prevent from emitting a gasp after hearing Sha're's request. She could only imagine being held prisoner in one's own body and the effort it took to keep that freedom. She sympathized with the couple as the inevitable loomed before them. She nodded her medical team to one side of the room along with General Hammond in order to give Daniel and his wife privacy. Teal'c, had already chosen to stand discreetly nearby, ready to help when needed.
Sha're's hand reached up to stroke her husband's cheek. She knew her heart was already breaking from their brief reunion. Oddly, something snapped in her consciousness. It felt as if some effects of an unknown drug have wore off, leaving her to think clearly of the painful reality.
The Goa'uld inside made her believe that she was carrying their child- hers and Daniel in order to prevent her from stopping this pregnancy. Repulsed to what they did to her, bitter bile rose through her throat and yelled in anger.
She began crying hot tears. "They violated me!" Sha're's voice screeched, squirming in discomfort when reality of her pregnancy hit her in full force. Anger, fear, defeat and shame enshrouded her like the sandstorms of Abydos attempting to crush her by their unseen weight.
"I have become unworthy to you, my Daniel," she wept on the floor in sorrow of her plight.
Daniel glanced at Teal'c, Janet and Hammond, a picture of deep hurt. It was more painful hearing Sha're utter those words. He reached out for his wife, leaned closer to her and tried easing her shock. He made sure his arms wrapped her and rocked her gently. Daniel was worried what this realization could do to Sha're. If he had the capacity to take away her pain, he would gladly do so to spare her from this inner turmoil.
"No, Sha're," Daniel fought through her words that had sent spikes to his heart. He couldn't deny the feeling of betrayal but he had come to reason that she was taken against her will. The Goa'uld did this to her, not his- beloved Sha're.
"Don't ever think that," he opened his heart and gave everything into words for Sha're.
"Sha're please try to calm down," Daniel spoke softly again after what seemed eternity of heartfelt thoughts and feelings laid bare for both. He willed himself to be calm for their sakes. He had once been under the effects of the sarcophagus and he knew the withdrawal symptoms could not match what Sha're was going through.
Sha're's lips quivered while gritting her teeth when a contraction came. She heaved several deep breaths while looking up at Daniel who was continually wiping her tears away.
Daniel could see she was drawing strength from him so he gladly made sure she had ample to take.
"My Daniel, we must do it, before she wakes or it will be too late," Sha're whispered calmly now while shifting her gaze to the Jaffa. Daniel looked at Teal'c.
Janet stood a little straighter as she picked up the clues from the wordless communication between the men. She ordered the nurse standing behind her to fetch a sterilized jar for the specimen they would soon get. The nurse went out of the room.
Teal'c briskly came forward and knelt beside Sha're. His face was full of remorse and sorrow upon knowing what was to be asked.
She took the Jaffa's hand and placed it above her swollen abdomen. "Take it out from me!"
Teal'c hesitated. He glanced at Daniel who nodded his permission. Daniel braced Sha're's back for support as he began to tell her more of his love in order to distract Sha're while Teal'c removed the Goa'uld.
For her part, Sha're concentrated on listening to her husband's soothing assurances and thoughts. She could feel the Goa'uld's revulsion but paid no heed to Ammonet. She intended to win the battle even if the price was her life! She spat in defiance at the Goa'uld. The creature hissed inside her mind and there was silence.
She closed her eyes and a thin smile came over her face. She was starting to have peace and in that silence, she filled it with her husband's words. His voice brought comfort to her ears that she had longed to hear. When Daniel faltered, she urged him to go on and before long the Goa'uld was taken out from her. Quickly, Teal'c placed the larva in the special container Janet had standing by. A medical technician went away with it to the infirmary. Sha're went into labor immediately and gave birth to a healthy boy. Unfortunately, Sha're's condition deteriorated further.
Sha're woke up with muffled start. She did not know how long she had slept but she was aware of the urgency in the air. She turned her head to the side and found Daniel sitting on the chair, stroking her hand. Upper half of his body leaned towards the edge of the bed with his forehead down, resting on his arm. The action successfully hid Daniel's misty eyes if she woke up.
Another soft sob came from his direction. She let few silent moments passed before letting her free hand ran through his hair. Immediately, red-rimmed blue eyes locked with her own, absorbing the shocked expression on his face. Too weak to speak first, she only managed a small smile.
"Sha're!" Daniel called his wife's name tenderly. He believed that if he said it any louder, the illusion of his wife's clinging to life would only be a dream.
However, was it?
"Is the baby healthy?" She asked for the first time after delivering the child.
"Yes, he is. Would you like to see him?" Daniel asked.
Sha're shook her head. "I would like to see your world, my husband."
Daniel choked down a sob that threatened to escape him again while putting a brave face for his wife. "I don't think it would be wise, Sha're," he said, looking at Janet who came over to check her vitals again.
Janet wagged her head. Sha're understood what that meant. It did not take the ominous sounds above her to tell that she was dying. She squeezed Daniel's hand.
"Please, husband. I would love to see your world," she said while doing her best to keep the curiosity that burned in her for the longest time. "You promise me." She finally appealed to him.
Daniel wiped the tears off his cheeks as he heaved a breath. Yes, he did promise her. He remembered making that promise under the moon of Abydos.
Janet was staring hard Daniel. She had a feeling what was going to come next and she was against moving Sha're anywhere in the base. Her gaze then fell on Sha're who was looking at her, pleading.
"I beg you," Sha're said in halting tones. "Kind healer," she paused for a moment as if trying to remember the words.
"To give me release. I do know that for every breath I take, you strive to make me well."
"But," Sha're paused again as she glanced at Daniel's downcast face. She met his gaze, squeezing his hand. "I do not have that long to live and you know this," Sha're stopped as pain reflected briefly on her face. Daniel did his best not to cry openly beside his wife upon hearing the actual inevitable truth.
"I would like to spend it with my husband," she implored lastly after heaving a breath. Suddenly, the simple act of breathing was becoming laborious for her.
"Please, Janet," Daniel seconded his wife's decision. "She's not a security risk," he told them while pointedly glanced at General Hammond. "You have the Goa'uld already, for goodness sake!" He burst out suddenly.
"Doctor Jackson, that was not needed." Hammond interjected then quickly nodded to Doctor Fraiser to comply with their wishes. A wheel chair was brought to them and Daniel lifted his wife off the bed then set her on it. Daniel gave everyone a grateful but sad nod as he wheeled her out of the infirmary.
"I want to see the stars, my Daniel," Sha're's voice echoed in the corridor as Daniel kissed his wife's head.
"I'll show them," he replied and lengthened his stride. Teal'c followed just a few steps behind the couple.
Hammond strode near the telephone and issued the permission to the guard on duty to let Doctor Jackson and his wife and Teal'c out of the base.
Exiting a side door, Daniel carried Sha're to a spot that he had discovered a month after he first returned to Earth. It a was secluded place where he would go to think of Sha're. The small path cut through the shrubs and with Teal'c's help, the thick blanket was laid on the ground. An overhanging mist glowed dimly off to their right, which afforded them a reassuring notion that they were not out of civilization's way and that the city was just directly underneath its cream veil.
After making sure that she was comfortable, Daniel turned to the Jaffa.
"Teal'c, it's going to be all right. We'll be staying here until the sun rises," he said as he fixed the afghan on Sha're's shoulders.
The Jaffa nodded and was about to leave when Sha're called out weakly. "There is no bad blood between us..." Sha're stopped, looking back to Daniel, asking in silence for the Jaffa's name.
"Teal'c," Daniel supplied softly.
"Teal'c." Sha're ended.
The Jaffa turned to face her in surprise of being absolve from his past actions. "I am truly sorry," he said in low tones and slowly bowed his head. He was now more resolved in stopping Apophis for causing bereavement to his friend, Daniel Jackson.
"It is over. You have freed me," Sha're continued speaking in a halting manner. "I thank you for that." She nodded and smiled serenely.
"You will always be remembered for as long as I live." Teal'c said in solemn tones and soon took his leave.
Sha're took a deep breath as silence descended on them. She snuggled in her husband's arms when he finally sat beside her.
She was smiling, Daniel noted from his peripheral vision. When he looked down a little while after. He saw her brown eyes danced with contentment. He wrapped her in his arms and for the brief moment, he felt contented too.
"Your planet is cool and woody to breathe," she commented later. "Even for a noisy one," she added a beat later.
Daniel chuckled. "The pine forest is behind us that's what you're smelling," he informed as he raised his hand to the night sky.
"The stars!" Sha're gasped after following his raised arm. The enthralling sight beheld her. "They are so beautiful," she remarked in wonder. The night was deeper in her husband's planet that the tiny lights stood out brightly.
"There's Cassiopeia and that's Big Dipper..." Daniel identified the constellations for Sha're. Daniel also told her the stories behind the stars; he had gazed for so long.
"Tell me again, about schools, my Daniel," her tone pleaded lightly and she nestled back in his arms. Daniel obliged and recalled his time in the universities.
Sha're closed her eyes and pictured the images in her mind. It was now more distinct unlike before.
'Could it be perhaps she had seen Earth? It made these memories more alive as if she was also there in that time and had experienced them all? What does it mean?' She pondered lightly. However, the thought disappeared to nothingness as her energy steadily ebbed. 'Is this how the End feels?'
An uncontrollable shiver ran throughout her body that Daniel pulled the afghan closer to them. Sha're's smile, deepened. This was her dream and she was happy to even have reached it for the last time.
"It is exquisite," Sha're commented, re-opening her eyes after listening to Daniel about a huge diamond kept in a place called the Smithsonian museum.
"Yes, it is. But nothing is more exquisite than you." Daniel told her while kissing her cheek. Sha're removed his glasses and smiled into his eyes.
"That is good." Sha're chuckled but later coughed and drew in a sharp breath.
"Sha're?" Daniel asked in concern. He was about to stand up when Sha're grasped his arm. Her already fragile condition belied such a grip.
"Please, I want to stay here with you, my Daniel," Sha're begged. Daniel shifted back while placing his leg over the other.
Before long, they continued talking throughout the night and met dawn breaking over the Colorado Mountains. A splash of mauve gave way to peach then to orange. Soon, yellows began to paint the sky. Birds filled the area with their varying chirps and whistles.
"It is truly beautiful, my Daniel," Sha're spoke softly this time with her eyes closed and tried desperately to hide a yawn but failed. Daniel also felt the nagging tiredness at the fringes of his mind but he forced it out before the thought could ever set in.
His wife shifted. Daniel's eyes remained close. After a few short moments, he distinctly felt her gaze was on him.
Sha're could tell from her husband's stiff posture that he was bracing himself for the End. He had a questioning look on his face.
"My Daniel, promise me, that you will not regret," she said simply.
Daniel was taken aback at the simple request as he tried to gain back whatever was left of his composure. Here, he was a leading authority in Archeology and Linguistics and he couldn't even fashion a white lie to his wife! He felt acutely that his capacity to speak left him and silent Sha're waited for his answer.
However, Sha're understood his inarticulate reply and it saddened her even more. If she was on his place, she would not be able to say anything either. 'What can I do?' She thought.
"I have lived a life that no woman would ever want- slaves in fear to the Goa'uld. Then I met you. You freed us from bondage," she spoke, hoping her own thoughts would become a catalyst to his healing. She took his hand into hers.
"A man filled with wonderful dreams and I am fortunate to have been given a time to share that life with you," she kissed his hand. Daniel was shocked to see how pale her face now that there was light splashing over the area and how her hands had become clammy since they left the infirmary. He cradled Sha're in his arms.
She tried to be strong, she really tried, but it was no use. Her body was not listening to what her mind was telling it.
Daniel wrapped his arms lovingly to comfort her. Soon, he was crying as well.
A moment passed and Sha're felt that she was drawing her last breath just as the sun rose. "The golden face that smiles upon us has risen from her slumber." She commented while gazing at the changing hues. She realized how her husband's home planet was beautiful to behold. The end of such peace should not be allowed. She embraced Daniel as tightly as she could, one more time.
"My Daniel," whispering near his ear. "This life with you, this I cherish till the end," she vowed, hardly breathing. She stared deeply in his eyes. She would miss getting lost in them.
"I love you, Sha're." Daniel professed trying to keep the agony away from his voice. He did not want to let her go without a fight. Has he done everything possible?
"You filled me in many places that I didn't know was possible." He said consciously, forcing him mind to focus at the present task and nothing else. He caressed the side of her face.
Sha're gave her husband a smile that reached her eyes. "I love you, my Daniel." She whispered and moved her ear towards his beating heart. She gave him a squeeze. "I feel so tired." She said a moment later and yawned. "I do not want to sleep."
Daniel felt himself smile despite the gravity of his wife's condition but that smile disappeared slowly while he watched his wife's closing eyes. Involuntarily, his finger began to trace her face. It started from the forehead, down to her cheeks, to her chin then stopped at her nose. His thumb passed lightly on her lips and leaned forward to kiss her. He knew he will not be seeing any of Sha're's mannerisms someday soon. He drew back and this time saw her looking back at him.
He took a deep breath and mustered every nerve to keep his voice from quavering. "Don't fight it, Sha're. You can go to sleep." He said in a way of giving her permission.
"Someday... I know... my Daniel... that we will continue this road we are walking," she said soft voice and snuggled peacefully in his arms. She loved that way he held her. It resonated the love he kept for her. She was safe now. Nothing, not the Goa'uld can harm her. She was free.
Daniel clasped his wife's other hand tight. "Yes...Yes, Sha're, we will walk together again." Daniel promised, biting his quavering lip as tears were freely shed. His free hand never ceased stroking his wife's face. In her heart, she kept his promise.
"Sha're!" Daniel cried out in mournful tones, sitting bolt upright and blinking the hot tears that streamed down from the side of his face. He stared wildly about in his room trying to comprehend what happened. He drew in sharp breaths, trying to regain his bearings.
The pounding of his heart did not abate and unconsciously his right hand reached for his bedside lamp. A dull click was heard and his bedroom was illuminated with a sickening yellow glow.
Oddly, the shadows created on the wall transformed to look like the cartouche he found in Abydos and not his bedroom wall. He blinked again while shaking his head to clear it from grogginess. He stared back at the now normal apartment wall.
"What was that?" He asked under his breath, wiping away the telltale tears from his face. He dreamt of Sha're and it has been two weeks since they have returned from Abydos.
General Hammond issued an order for the SG-1 team to take a three-day respite away from the base after accomplishing their last mission. Daniel knew very well that Sha're left with Apophis.
'Sha're is alive, prisoner yes but alive.' He repeated just to convince his mind. 'Why would he think otherwise?' He berated himself for loosing hope. He looked down at his hands. The memory of her passing was fresh in his mind. It made him shiver from the remnant thought.
"NO!" He shouted adamantly to no one and stood abruptly to pace in his room. 'What made him think this way? Was he loosing hope?'
'I shouldn't give up on hope!' He muttered angrily under his breath. 'Sha're had a chance to divulge our hiding place inside that chamber to Apophis but she didn't, so something of the host remains and I'm not giving that chance up.' He thought.
He turned his head towards the bedroom window when a gentle tap from the coming drizzle beat against the pane, distracted him.
The sound was quite hypnotic that he found himself standing by the window looking down at the empty street. An occasional car wheezed by and nothing followed the vehicle for some time. He opened his window a little to let in the cool air refreshed his room while wondering about the dream's meaning.
Back in college, he had come across reading about ESP and how at times it manifested through dreams. However, he was skeptic on such things. 'Could the dream be just a dream- nothing else or was it a warning altogether?'
He gazed at the darkened building that sat across his apartment. The drizzle turned into a fine shower and soon stared back at his reflection caught on the window. With his mind fogged by sleep again and bone-weariness returning, the reflection changed into Sha're's face. 'A wishful reflex of his mind?'
His hand reached out instinctively to touch the imaginary face of his wife.
"We will walk this road again, Sha're, I promise." He muttered unconsciously to himself before another shiver ran up and down his spine. The dream left Daniel worried.