Note: These characters do not belong to me. They are Epics. I should also note that this story was never really finished (It's missing the final chapter), but if enough of you like it, drop me a review, and I'll tack on an ending when I get to it.

Batty Buddy presents...

M Is For The Maiming That She Brought Me.

Prologue

"TASTES GOOD!!" "LESS FILLING!!" "TASTES GOOD!!" "LESS FILLING!!" "TASTES GOOD!!" "LESS FILLING!!" "TASTES GOOD!!" "LESS FILLING!!"
"You know- I forget, what are they arguing about again?" Eva said, turning to her husband.
"Well, it started as an conversation over the best way to reduce tension in the middle-east... but now it's a fight over which 'Phroote snaax' brand is a better deal." Jazz mumbled. (Ok, now you OFFICIALLY know that this is a Batty Buddy story.) Picking up the remote, he switched channels.
It was one of those few dark rainy nights around the castle where nothing seemed to happen, and Jazz and his siblings were making the most of it. Jazz was watching TV with Eva, and Spaz and Lori were playing Commander Keen.
"HAH!! You died AGAIN! My turn..." Lori smirked, pushing her brother off the seat, then pounding away at the buttons like a maniac. "Hey! That's not fair! I can't believe that darn dopefish ate me again!" His eyes narrowed and grew dark. "That fish..." he mumbled under his breath. "Um... You say something." Spaz's eyes went back to their normal look. "Oh... Nothing..."
All of a sudden, there was a bright flash- and the lights, TV, and computer all went out. "AAAGH! I'VE GONE BLIND!!" "No, silly- the power just went out." "Why does this resemble foreshadowing to me?"

Thump!

Everyone shut their mouths at the mysterious thump noise. "What the HECK was THAT?!?" "Sounded like a water buffalo skydiving!" "How do you know what a water buffalo skydiving sounds like?" "Well, how else would YOU describe it- you're so smart?" "Um... well... it sounds like..." "You can't can you?" "OK-SO I CAN'T!" "Calm down everyone- I'll go see what it is. If I'm not back in 2 minutes-cover me." "Go get em, bro!" Walking as softly as he could, Jazz felt his way round the darkness to the stairs, then headed for the front door.
'Gee... Sure is quiet around here... seems almost like one of those Twilight Zone episodes... where the guy hears a mysterious sound, goes to check it out, and winds up having the blood sucked outta his neck... Good thing I don't scare easily.' Jazz thought to himself as he crept to the door and opened it. It was raining pretty hard outside, and it was near impossible to see more then a few feet away.
"Um... Hello? Who's there?" Jazz said nervously, looking around. Suddenly, he felt himself being violently grabbed by the neck, and he came face to face with a large pair of very angry-looking eyes...

"AARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!" "JAZZ!" Eva, Spaz, and Lori all shouted at the same time. Running to the source of the noise, they met with a rather disturbing sight:
A soaking-wet, large dark figure... a soaking-wet large dark FAT figure, that is- was holding a smaller figure that looked like Jazz by the neck.
"eva..." Jazz managed to gasp out.
Then the lights turned on again, revealing the newcomers identity...
"eva... your... mother's home..."

I sure HOPE this is to be continued...

By the way, to help me with continuity- anyone have a clue as to what Eva's mother's first name is, or will I have to make up my own?