Hello hello people. I'm here with a angsty one-shot. I, personally, hate the Raven/Robin pairing, but I'm feeling sad today (no particular reason, just in the mood) and have had this on my mind ever since reading Diary by Katylar. I recommend that you read that fic first, and then go onto this one. Oh yes, and this is a one-shot. I won't be continuing this. Wishing was supposed to be a one-shot, and I continued. It's getting really hard...anyway, enjoy!
Robin and Raven were at the table, talking about pointless random things, just enjoying each others company. Raven smiled a little, something that would have made everyone stare at her before, but now it was normal. Beast Boy turned away, sickened, but not showing it.
You were the most important person to me.
Before...before they had gotten together. Raven and Robin. Robin and Raven. Birds of a feather. Together forever. It had had a different reaction from each of them. Cyborg was happy for them, not really taking notice. Starfire had silently cried in her room, but was now dating another guy, someone who was good to her and loved her back. Beast Boy was devastated.
I loved you.
At first he was like all of the others, congratulating them, pretending to be happy. Because a part of him was happy. The part that loved her...loved Raven. She was happy, which meant that he was too. Even if it wasn't with him.
But you love someone else.
But now...now he couldn't look at them. He had hid these feeling behind his mask too long. He never showed anyone what he was feeling anymore; if he did Robin would feel guilty and he just couldn't do that. He hated that Robin was a good person. Because if he wasn't it would be so much easier to hate him then. But he was a friend, and he couldn't hate him. And Raven was so happy...and no matter how much he wanted to break them up, he knew that it would break her heart. It was ironic, how it was okay for her to break his heart, but he couldn't do it to her. He hated himself sometimes. Hated how he loved her so much that he wouldn't break her heart, hated that he cared about them so much that he had to keep his feelings locked up and only let them out in his room where no one could hear, hated that he couldn't be genuinely happy for them.
But it was hard to ignore them, harder than anything he had ever done before. And he knew he had to do something to avoid it...before he did something he would regret.
I tried to ignore it; tried to pretend that it wasn't true.
He stood up, dropping the controller, announcing that he was going to his room. The couple at the table didn't hear him. They were lost in their own little world. Disgusted, he walked out, heading toward his room, knowing what he would have to do. He sat down at his desk and took out four pieces of paper. He started to write.
But I couldn't.
Half and hour later, he signed each letter and stuck it in an envelope. Changing into a small mouse, he snuck into each room and deposited each envelope on his or her bed. Finally he returned to his room.
And that's why I'm leaving.
He glanced around at his surroundings; he wanted to remember it all. He would never see it again. He would miss the Tower and the friends he had made here. Titan's Tower was the only place where he had found a true home, and he was pretty sure that he wouldn't make friends like the ones here again.
I can't take it anymore.
Before he lost his nerve, he changed into a bird and flew out the window. He circled his former home once more and then flew into the dusky sky, leaving the city, the Tower and his friends behind.
Don't wait for me, because I won't come back.
He was alone again, and back to square one.
I wish you happiness, wherever you may find it, because I want you to be happy.
And if it means that it's not with me, then so be it.
"Hey, has anyone seen BB lately? I wanted to challenge him to a little one-on-one." Cyborg called out from his spot on the couch a few hours later.
"No, I haven't. Wonder what he's doing?" Robin mused from where he was reading the paper on the couch.
Raven shrugged. "How should I know? He's probably playing video games or something in his room. And speaking of rooms, I'll be in mine meditating if anyone needs me." She finished, leaning over and pecking Robin on the cheek. "Bye."
Raven walked to her room and sat down on the bed. She stood up when she heard something crumple underneath her. "I wonder what a envelope is doing on my bed...?" she wondered aloud as she opened it.
By now you're probably wondering where I am. I'm wondering that too, because I don't know where I'm going. All I know is that I have to go away, somewhere far. Somewhere I won't have to hold in all of my feelings.
There was always something that I wanted to tell you Raven. You may think it's funny, or crazy or stupid, but I-
No. I can't tell you. It would ruin the one thing that I know means most to you. And I just can't do that.
I'm sorry, for going away like this. Just, please, don't look for me. It won't matter if you do, I can be very good at hiding when I want to, but it will make it easier for me.
I just wanted to say thanks. Thanks for everything.
You and Robin really deserve each other. I hope you'll be happy with him.
- Beast Boy
Raven slowly walked into the living room. Robin looked up and immediately dashed towards her. "What's wrong Raven?!"
"He's...he's gone." Raven managed to say. She was in shock, and only a few words remained unfrozen in her brain.
"Who's gone? What are you talking about?"
"Beast Boy...gone." She choked out, slumping to the floor. Robin caught her and carried her over to the couch.
"Are you sure? Maybe he just went for a walk or something..."
"No...letter on bed. Told me he's gone." Cyborg handed her a glass of water, which she gulped down gratefully.
"Can I see-" Robin was cut off by a shriek.
"That was Starfire!" Cyborg exclaimed. He started for the door, but Starfire flew in, almost knocking him over.
"Beast Boy! Where is Beast Boy?!" she shouted frantically.
"Why? What's going on?!" Robin's voice started to rise. He was getting frustrated.
"I have received a paper with writing in Beast Boy's hand that has informed me that he has gone away! Please tell me, where is he now? Surely he would not leave like this! This must be a trick from Slade!" Starfire's voice became frantic now.
"Checked his room. He's not there." Cyborg cut in. "And...I found this." He held out a slim white envelope, identical to the others that Raven and Starfire held.
"No...this must be a trick. A trick from Slade! He must have kidnapped him or something. Beast Boy just wouldn't leave..." Robin trailed off, thinking of everything, anything that would contradict the letters.
"No go. I scanned the letters and a grocery list of Beast Boy's. The handwriting's identical. Beast Boy wrote this, no doubt." Cyborg told him sadly.
Everyone sat silently, taking all of this in. Robin stood up, heading towards his room.
"Where are you going Robin?" Raven asked him softly.
"To see if I got a letter too. To see for myself that he left." Robin said without breaking stride or looking back. Silence followed the hissing of the door behind him.
"What will become of him?" Starfire's small voice broke the quiet.
"I don't know." Cyborg told her truthfully.
Raven closed her eyes. He was gone. He was really gone. And it would never be the same again.
Nine years later, Raven walked down the aisle, looking at Robin, who was waiting at the altar. He had taken off his mask for this event, and she could see his eyes, looking at her happily. She smiled back at him. It was her wedding day, and the best day of her life.
But something nagged her in the back of her head as she looked around at the guests. Almost all of Jump City had turned out for the occasion. She could even see Aqualad and Speedy, along with Batman, of all people. Robin's foster father.
And of course, her friends were there. Cyborg was the best man, and Starfire was her maid of honor. But the thing that was missing was Beast Boy.
She sighed. She wasn't supposed to think of these things when it was her wedding day! But she couldn't help it.
After Beast Boy left, the team tried to go on without him. Starfire just wouldn't let them break apart, especially after what she had seen in the future with Warp. But without Beast Boy, there was no joking. Everyone got moody and serious, even Starfire. Luckily, Raven had Robin to count on, who had become even more protective of her, ever since he had left. She had tried to locate him time after time, but Beast Boy had been truthful. He was good at hiding.
She could hear a lone bird chirp from the tree she was passing. She smiled up at it. It was the best day of her life. And even the animals knew it. But that made her only sadder. She couldn't spend this day with one of her friends, and the bird only reminded her of that.
She reached the altar where her husband to be stood. The ceremony started.
An hour later, she and Robin were husband and wife. Cyborg and Starfire rushed to meet them.
"Oh Raven, I am so happy for you! What a joyous day this must be for you! I shall celebrate by making you the Pudding of Happiness!" She said, hugging Raven.
"Thanks Star. But we have cake already, so why don't you go have a piece?" Raven told her while attempting to get out of her grip. Starfire nodded.
"Oh I shall! Come friends, let us partake in eating!" She cried, while flying in circles above them. Cyborg, who was conversing with Robin, heard her and agreed.
"Yeah that sounds good. Coming Robin, Raven?" he asked them. Robin looked over at Raven and she nodded smiling.
"Yes, that sounds good. But why don't you guys go on with out me. I'll catch up in a minute." Robin looked at her for a second, but then nodded and walked off to the cake.
She sat down on the bench beneath the tree where she had heard the bird. Sighing, she took out a picture of she and Beast Boy. It was a treasured picture, after he and Cyborg had taken a trip in her mirror.
"I wish you were here Beast Boy..." she whispered. "You were one of my best friends. It just isn't the same here without you. We all miss you. I wish you didn't go away." A teardrop splashed onto the picture. She wiped her eyes. "We all do. I wish you could be here with all of us."
Another chirp sounded from the tree. Raven looked up and saw the shadow of the bird, as it was tucked back in the leaves of the tree. A knowing look was in its eyes, which made her think all the more of Beast Boy. She smiled up at the bird, and it chirped again, hopping forward into the sunlight.
A look of shock crossed her features and she felt her heart freeze. The bird was...green. She stood up suddenly, whispering "Beast Boy...?"
The bird, as if realizing that she could see it, squawked in alarm and hopped back. It raised its wings as if to take off in flight but Raven was faster. She surrounded it with a black aura and levitated it. The bird frantically struggled, but Raven was too strong. Finally, the bird changed into an eagle, and then a raven, clearing any doubt of Raven's that this might not be Beast Boy.
"It is you Beast Boy!" She exclaimed, which made the bird settle down for a moment. It looked at her and she could see her friend in them. The black bubble started to head towards her. But Beast Boy obviously didn't want to go back, because he started to change into a fox, a cat, a dog, a turtle...changing so rapidly that it all started to blur. But Raven wouldn't let him go, renewed with the thought of Beast Boy being back.
Finally, he stopped fighting and became a bird again. Raven lowered him to the ground and, hesitating, let the aura dissipate. The bird, instead of taking off, slowly changed. Raven's eye started to tear up as she saw the shape of her long lost friend become true.
He was taller, much taller than before, and she had to tilt her head up to look at him. He was stronger, she could see that, but still had his slight frame. His eyes, the laughing eyes that she remembered, were still there, only darker, shaded with sorrow and remorse. His hair and his clothes were the same, and she felt wetness on her face. She was crying. "I missed you." She whispered. "Where have you been?!"
"I know. I'm sorry. I've been closer than you think." His voice hadn't changed, and she cried harder at the sound. "So sorry."
He hesitantly brushed the tears from her face. "Congratulations."
"Thanks." Raven said. She wanted to hug him, but before she could, he back away and suddenly a green raven took his place. It spread its wings and took off.
"Wait!" she shouted to him. He stopped, circling and landing on a branch two trees away. She ran to him. "Where are you going?!"
The bird shook its head and reverted to its normal form. The branch held him and she was struck at how thin he was. He answered her "I can't stay. Have to go."
"No! Why?! Where?!" she yelled to him. He smiled sadly. "Can't say. Don't know." He answered. "I've been watching you. I'll always watch over you. I'm so sorry." He added in a softer tone. "Now go. They're waiting for you." He once again took to the skies, this time in the form of an eagle. It circled around her once or twice, and then, with a screech, flew away.
Raven watched the green speck disappear into the city. She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned around to see Robin's concerned face. "Hey, are you okay? Everyone's waiting for you."
She looked back at the city. The eagle was nowhere to be found, but she knew he was watching over her. He always had been. She smiled at Robin, a genuine, sincere smile.
"Never been better." She answered.
I didn't like the ending that much, but oh well. Raven/Beast Boy angst brought to you by Soraoathkeeper. Please, review. Thank you and goodnight.