Author Note: This was taken down because it violated almost all of the rules of this website. Now it is back up, and follows everything this website stands for. I'm putting this back up, for the sake of my friendship with my dearest friend, Somebody Else.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything—neither does Mihoshi (Somebody Else).
Plot: Well, Weevil has taken over the world—but no need to fear! Yami will save the day!
You do know how, don't you? (-Yuugi)
(opens his mouth, then stops) (-Yami)
Well, maybe not… Told from the diary entries of the highly opinionated Ryou Bakura, currently off his antidepressants and third person narrative during the adventures of the HETEROSEXUAL Thief Bakura. Is rated "R" due to bad implications involving that of Yami Bakura, Yami Malik and Tristan's power tools.
Genre: Humor/Romance/Suspense/Horror/Supernatural/Science Fiction/Fantasy
Yami no Yuugi/Yuugi (hinted) (SLASH!)
Yami no Malik/Yami no Bakura (SLASH!)
Pegasus/Various Inanimate Objects (Hey! We said it was weird.)
Anzu/Pegasus (for a record time of ONE- MINUTE!)
Isis/Yami no Yuugi (one-sided)
Warning: Rated M (R) (Restricted) Is rated "R" due to bad implications involving that of Yami no Bakura, Yami no Malik and Tristan's power tools.
-Imperfect Paradise (Yamiko) & Somebody Else (Mihoshi)
The Ladybugs Have Turned Belligerent
By Imperfect Paradise & Somebody Else
Day I –
Weevil somehow managed to take over the world and confiscate everyone's duel monster cards. I have no clue how he managed this, since he's ... well... an absolute moron. No, that would be insulting to Bandit Keith. Not that I care for the dullard, but you have to feel something akin to pity for a fool who was murdered by the king of bugs. The only rebels were myself (Ryou Bakura) and my Yami, Yugi and his Yami, Joey, Tristan, Duke, Kaiba, Mokuba, Pegasus, and Malik and Marik (Malik's Yami). Oh, and Mai, Serenity and Tea. Though they disappeared immediately upon arrival to establish a "feminine space" where they could do things that no man has any right to know the details of.
I worry that our supplies may not last. We have a lot of packaged food, but most of it is in cans and Joey traded the can opener to Marik for a rubrics cube. Marik has declared himself a sex god and is demanding that anyone who wants canned food must "worship" him. Our supplies will run out before the month is over, forcing us to turn to Marik. Of course, we might be able to entreat Pegasus to share his supplies, but he only brought comic books, a funny-bunny plushy, and wine. Well, if all else fails we can all commit suicide by way of alcohol poisoning.
However, I fear that before we can run out of supplies, the politics will destroy the precarious legal structure we have somehow (Not democratically, I assure you.) achieved within the past half hour. Yami (being the egotist that he is-- my dark half's words, not mine), has already claimed the role of 'Almighty' Pharaoh. Pegasus has gotten a mallet from somewhere and has declared himself the Supreme Judicial Officer. Which is just a fancy way of saying that if you fuck up, he's the one who'll sentence you. And bang his mallet. He REALLY likes banging his mallet. Yami said he appointed Pegasus as the judge since he is the oldest (which is ridiculous since he's only 24), but I suspect that he was bribed with wine. This could probably explain the plans he's been coming up with.
As I passed by him and Yugi, I overheard Yami's plan for vengeance against the almighty king and lord of insects-- and the world, (shudders) Weevil. This is pretty much how the situation went.
Yuugi sat up in chair and grinned, "Yami, I have put my trust in you— since you are the pharaoh and all— so anyway... You have come up with a plan, right?"
Yami, however, didn't answer Yuugi at first. This was so because he was banging his head against the cavern wall. He eventually pulled away after ten repetitive bangs and turned to face Yuugi. He, looking quite disoriented, answered, "Yeah I have a— WAIT! Back to the drawing board... " With that, he continued banging for a few more minutes, Yuugi continuing to watch with a smile on his face. After about ten more bangs, he finally looked up and grinned as he spoke, "All right..."
With that, he reached into a bag on the far end of the table, drew out teeny little Japanese collectible figures of the Yu-Gi-Oh cast, and lined them all up on the table. He rubbed his hands together as he explained, "All right, we all run for Weevil's castle..." He pushed them all towards a little Lego castle. (where he got the Legos, I do not know)— which was only about two blocks because he was in a hurry) "We summon our strongest monsters"
With that, he threw Dark Magician, Red Eyes Black Dragon, Blue Eyes White Dragon, Harpy Lady Sisters, Relinquished and a bunch of other monsters towards what was 'supposed' to be Weevil's castle " ...and we launch an attack and destroy Weevil and the world will be restored to its peaceful state!" With that, he pounded his fist on the table once to emphasize what he believed would be his upcoming victory.
Yugi, however, stared at him awkwardly. After a small moment of silence, he clicked his tongue once and asked, "... Attack Weevil's castle?
Yami nodded once and answered immediately, "Yup."
Yugi continued to stare at him oddly. He asked, "With our monsters?"
Yugi raised an eyebrow as he confirmed, "That is your plan?
Yami smiled triumphantly and answered, "That's it!"
Yugi then turned bouncy, smiled brightly and commented, "Well! I love it!" However, a thought entered his mind. He asked, "Say, how do we get our cards back?"
Yami opened his mouth… then stopped. He remained like this for several seconds.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.
Immediately hearing it, Yami pointed into the air, getting everyone's attention and nearly shouted, "I'LL GET IT!" And with that, nearly sprinted for the door.
He ran over to it and threw it open. Standing, looking rather tired and annoyed was Dartz. Yes, the King of Atlantis and the former leader of the Doma Organization is boarding us underneath the ocean. He held his hand out, as though he were expecting something and muttered, "Rent please…."
Yami nodded, and then began going through his pockets. After fishing out a piece of lint, a block of bubble gum, and a Pokemon card, he finally found what he was looking for. He held the ten-dollar bill out before Dartz and grinned, "Here yah go!" And handed it over to him…
Dartz looked down at the single bill in his hand for a moment, pursing his lips. He then gave Yuugi a very blaw looking stare. He asked with a sort of "Are you bull-shitting me?" expression. "I let you and your pathetic group of friends hide in my kingdom of Atlantis and all you give me is a ten dollar bill?"
Yami smiled, "Yup!"
With that, Dartz lost all sanity. He grinned madly, threw his arms up into the air and screamed, "W007!" He then ran out of the room, not giving Yami a second thought and declared, " LAS VEGAS, HERE I COME!"
With that, Yami walked back to the room. Very stupid mistake—at least for him. When he closed the door, Yuugi asked (once again) "So, about getting our cards back?"
Yami opened his mouth... and stopped for the second time that day. He thought, 'Crap.'
Yugi asked, looking somewhat concerned, "You do know how? ... Don't you?"
Yami moved the figures aside, about two feet away from the seemingly pathetic Lego castle. He stood there thinking for a moment.
After about two hours, he continued, that manic and wonderful Yami-goodness energy returning, "All right, we all run for Weevil's castle..." he pushed towards the stupid—I mean, Lego castle again. "We summon our strongest monsters—"
Yugi hissed looking away, "Oh for Christ's sake!"
As you can see, the pharaoh has lost it (fortunately, so has Dartz, but that's not the point). This worries me for more reasons then one, as he was supposed to be our only contact with the outside world by way of Isis. You see, she is supposed to keep us (Yami!) updated on Weevil's status and tell us (Yami!) when to come out of hiding and "smite him" (her words! I don't use the word "Smite" unless I'm talking about God, which Yami is not. Don't tell Isis I said that.) I have little faith in the future of our little rebellion if somebody does not beat some sense into our head political figure sometime soon. Unfortunately, I believe that things will get worse before they get better. If they get better. Oh, and I forgot all my anti- depressants back at my apartment. So, overall, life sucks.
End Diary Entry
After reading the two un-read e-mails from Isis, Kaiba frowned as he logged out of Yami's account, muttering, "Idiot."
He then logged onto media miners and grinned as he updated his NC-17 Fictions. The Language for these fictions is courtesy of four snickering second grade girls! Just like most other NC-17 fics on that site.
- TO BE CONTINUED-
Random Note: Stay tuned for the next chapter... Okay! I finally have the new format for all of my fictions. (Although, it isn't necessarily new anymore, ah-hah-hah-hah! ; —sigh)