Living With Maniacs
Off to America
Ok, here we go. This is my second try at this ficcy; it got deleted the first time. But I have made the desired changes, and this is my test chapter. I was afraid putting it in paragraph form would take the funny out of it, but I want you, the reviewer, to give me your opinion on whether or not it is funny this way. Okay? I don't wanna take your focus off the chapter, so I'll leave you now.
Oh wait, disclaimer first. Put up the sign, Froggy! A giant yellow-bellied green froggy walks up, puts up sign DO NOT USE WHILE MOVING. -.-; That really isn't funny. The other one! Froggy scratches his head, puts up sign IF SWALLOWED, RINSE MOUTH WITH WATER AND CONTACT POISON CONTROL. O.OUU FINE! I'll do it. I do not own YuGiOh or anything else mentioned in this fic! Except Froggy.
In an apartment in London, a telephone rang. Briiing! Briiiing!
"Yami, would you get that?" Ryou called. "I'm in the shower!"
"Aibou, would you get that?" Bakura called back. "I'm watching the news!"
"Wha?" Ryou said, shocked. "You…are watching educational television? Voluntarily?"
"Yeah, some fire department is on fire," Bakura replied, cackling.
"Oi! Just answer the phone!" Ryou yelled irritably.
"Feh," Bakura mumbled. He strolled over to the telephone and picked it up. "What do you want, you impudent nimrod?"
"Yamiii!" wailed Ryou.
"Oh, hi Bakura!" said a cheery voice on the other end of the phone. "This is Misty; can I talk to Ryou? I have an invite for him!" Bakura walked into the bathroom, yanked open the shower curtain, and handed the telephone to Ryou.
"It's for you. Some lady talking about the weather." O.o Ryou peeked out of the shower.
"Have you no respect for privacy?" he shouted.
"We shared a body, twit. You haven't anything I've not seen before," Bakura said dismiissively. He handed the phone to Ryou, then left the bathroom for the news. Ryou grumbled, turned off the shower, and picked up the phone.
"Hi Ryou! It's me!"
"Oi, nice to hear from you Mistaya! Excuse me a moment while I get dressed; Bakura handed me the phone while I was in the shower again." Misty salivated. O.O
"You do that…" Waits for Ryou to get dressed while imagining him in the shower "Ooh.."
"Ok, I'm almost-oi, gross!" Ryou said. "The phone is…drooling!
Misty closed her mouth. "Really? How odd…"
"Yes," Ryou said. "Alright then, I'm dressed. Now what was it you wanted to say?" He walked out of the bathroom, toweling his hair dry.
"Huh? I mean oh yeah!" Misty said, gathering her wits again. "Well, by some odd and unrealistic happenstance, my parents, three brothers, and three sisters have all left the house for a while…I think they went on vacation and left me behind. I guess I shouldn't have been sleeping in the closet that night…Anyways. I was wondering if maybe you and Bakura would like to come over and visit for a while? Since I'm all alone and don't know how long they'll be gone…"
"Well, that's sounds jolly good!" Ryou said cheerfully. "But I'm afraid I can't afford a plane ticket for Bakura and myself. They're very expensive on such a short notice, you know." He scratched the back of his head nervously. "So I really don't know…"
"Oh, no problem!" Misty said. "Just call up Marik, I'm sure he'll buy your tickets for you. I invited him and Malik, too!"
"O.oU Sounds like fun….alright, I'll give him a ring."
"Ok then, see ya'll soon!" Misty said.
"Yes, cheerio!" Ryou replied, then hung up. He sighed, then wiped his forehead. "Hmm, it feels oddly warm in here…"
"Hey Ryou!" Bakura called from in front of the television. "Come and look! The apartments next to the burning fire station are starting to catch fire!" He laughed maniacally. "Bwuahahahahaa!- hey, they look an awful lot like our apartment houses…"
Ryou walked into the room, sniffing the air. "…do you smell something burning? … O.o"
Outside a burning apartment in London, Ryou sat spazzing. "This is awful! This is so bloody awful! Where will we go? What'll we do? Oh, I can't believe this.."
While watching the building burn and Ryou spazz-observing both with great pleasure- Bakura asked, "Say, what was that phone call about?"
Ryou stopped spazzing. "The..phone…call? D Hooray! We're saved!" He started doing his happy dance.
Bakura rolled his eyes and muttered, "And they say I'm the weird insane one."
Ryou stopped dancing. "Of course you are! It just doesn't become overly obvious until later in this fic. If the great and powerful author of it decides to continue it, of course." : P
"Oh." says Bakura. "Good! Normalcy is for saps, anyways!"
Ryou slapped Bakura on the shoulder. "Alright, Yami! A quick phone call to Marik, and if all goes well we'll be on a plane to America in a few short hours!"
Bakura's eyes lit up. "Yay! I've never tortured Americans before…"
A quarter of an hour later, Ryou stood at a pay phone conversing with Marik. "…and so I was wondering if perhaps you could buy us plane tickets-"
"Say no more!" Marik responded valiantly. "Actually, I already bought your plane tickets. Out of the goodness of my heart." D
"Ah, how nice! Say, I was wondering…how can you afford all this so easily? As far as I know, you don't really have a job or anything."
Bakura ran around in the background with London's famous pigeons flocking in his hair. "AUUGH! They pooped on me, the pooped on meeeee!"
"Well, it's really quite simple," continued Marik over the phone. "My sister owns her own line of cars! They're very popular in America, actually. They're even named after her!"
"Really? I've never heard of ISHIZUs before…"
"Well, she changed the spelling a bit…ever heard of ISUZU?"
"Oh, I see."
Bakura threw rocks at pigeons! "Ha! You'll regret ever messing with me, Thief King Bak- hey!" SPLAT "The poopie, it's in my eeeeyes-mpfp-bleck- and in my mouuuth!"
"Ah, sound's like Bakura's feeling well!" commented Marik.
"Same ol', same ol'," Ryou responded. "How's Malik?"
In the background of the telephone, Odion's voice was heard, yelling, "No! Master Malik, stop that RIGHT now!" A chainsaw revved up, and someone laughed maniacally. "Put that away! Master Malik, I'm warning you! Stay back…hey! Get away! EEEEeeeeeeek!" Loud footsteps were heard, and the sound of the chainsaw slowly faded into the distance.
"Good, good, he's good," Marik replied agreeably.
"Nice to hear."
"Yup. Ok, I've got to go if I want to catch my plane in time! It switches in London, so I'll see you at the airport! Bye!" Marik hung up the phone.
Ryou turned from the pay phone and said to Bakura- who was hanging onto a lamppost swatting at killer pigeons- , "Alright Bakura! On to the airport to meet Marik and Malik, and pretty soon we'll be on our way to America!"
Bakura stopped swatting at pigeons. "Great! So exactly where in America are we headed? New York? California? Florida? Hawaii?"
Bakura fell off the lamppost.