Disclaimer: Uh...no. The characters do not belong to me nor am I making a profit.
Author's Note: I started this series a long time ago. I have finally written another one. This is what happens when you mix me, my awesome beta reader, and peanut butter together.
Random Convo 4
"Reduced Fat Is Immoral"
It was finally time for a break from all the hard work. They set up camp in the conference room. She was eating fast food. He was eating. . .well. . .
He spread the peanut buttery goodness slowly across the slice of wheat bread. After finishing that, he licked the knife with such a passion, she nearly puked. Once the knife was devoid of any peanut butter, he then hungrily eyed the slice of bread. His carnivorous eyes, that smack of his tongue and the way he inched his chair forward in anticipation finally forced her to intervene.
"That's just. . .wrong," she stated in disgust. "That's just soooo wrong."
His trance seemed to break at her statement of wrongness. He looked at her confused and asked, "What's wrong?"
"That," she said, pointing at his slice of bread. "That is wrong."
"It's just peanut butter on wheat, Mac," Harm shook his head at her in disbelief.
"No, it's reduced fat peanut butter," she corrected, then made a face. "It's not real peanut butter."
He frowned and chose to ignore her. This wasn't the first time she made faces at his choice of food. Before he could take that first luscious bite out of his snack, he heard her gag. He ignored her again, until she did it a second time! He put the slice of bread back down on his napkin and glared at her, "Could you not do that? I'm trying to eat!"
"I'm trying not to puke," she continued to tease, but in all honesty, she did look like she was about to barf.
"Okay, I give," he sat back, but still eyed his snack hungrily. "What's wrong with my peanut butter?"
"Harm, it's reduced fat! What else do you need to know?" Mac chuckled like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "It tastes weird."
"It tastes weird?" he repeated. "You're dogging my snack because you think it tastes weird?"
"I don't think it tastes weird," she corrected. "I know it tastes weird. Reduced Fat is immoral."
"Immoral!" he said in surprise. He shook his head and pointed at her, "I don't care what you say! I'm eating my reduced fat peanut butter, whether you like it or not." Before he could pick up the slice, he quickly added, "And stop making those gagging noises."
"Okay," Mac shrugged, pretending not to care. Before he could take a bite, she couldn't resist. "Did I mention before it's not real peanut butter?"
He paused and groaned. He still hadn't taken a bite of his snack. He looked at her and asked in exasperation, "Is that so?"
"It's not real, Harm," Mac continued to protest. "It's so pasty! Just wait a minute. I'll be right back."
Harm watched her rush off and saw this as his opportunity to eat his long awaited, desirable treat. Nothing was going to stop him now! Not a damn thing! His teeth were mere millimeters away from sinking into the creamy goodness, when she bursted back into the room. She set a spoon and a jar of regular old peanut butter down in front of him. She grinned and explained, "I want you to eat a spoonful of this first, then take a bite of your reduced fat yucky-ness. Once you taste them side by side, you'll see that I'm right."
As much as he wanted to eat his reduced fat snack, he wanted to prove Mac wrong even more. He gave her a mocking grin and using the spoon she provided, took a scoop of peanut butter out of the jar. He ate it, smacked his lips and smiled. At least his rumbling stomach was finally satisfied. He finished off the spoon, then lifted up his slice of bread confidently.
He took a huge bite and chewed with pride. Through peanut butter sealed lips he exclaimed, "See? No difference!"
Mac put on a face of disappointment, but finally conceded, "Fine. Obviously, someone burned off your taste buds when you were a child."
On that note she left, leaving him alone.
It was at that, Harm allowed his face to pale. She was right. Reduced fat was immoral! Hell! It should be against the law!
He leaped from his chair, found the closest trash can and chucked up all the "reduced fat yucky-ness" from his infected mouth. He sputtered a few times and even coughed and gagged. It had been so long since he had real peanut butter, he forgot how good it was! In fact, the moment he tasted the real stuff, he noticed the difference immediately, but ate the reduced fat anyway so he wouldn't look like an idiot.
He leaned on the can for support, glad he waited to do that until after she left. If she had seen his real reaction, he would never hear the end of it!
He rose from his spot on the floor and turned around. His face fell as he saw her standing in the doorway. A cute, knowing grin was plastered on her face. Before he could say anything, she just held up a hand to silence him. She said in a sing-song voice, "I told you that stuff was wrong."
Mac walked over to the table, held up his half eaten piece of reduced fat wheat bread and showed it too him. He immediately paled and sprinted from the room. She skipped out into the hallway just in time to see the door to the men's room slam shut.