It Ain't Easy Being Sane

"Godzilla?" Rikki suggested.

Glaring at Rikki, Fidget said, "How about Vicki? It matches."

Grinder nodded. "Could work," he allowed.

"How about, 'No way in hell are you bringing another iguana on board?'" Rikki offered. He made sure to stay on the other side of the room from the two reptiles.

"Aw, c'mon, Rikki, Vinnie needs a playmate," Alex cajoled. "He's been looking a little depressed lately."

"So get Fidget to play with him more," Rikki burst out. "I definitely do not want to put up with another one of those…things…on Big Air! One is more than enough; I never even wanted Vinnie here."

"Well, we can't just leave her here," Fidget argued, hand petting the smaller green reptile twined around her precious pet.

"Why not?" Rikki asked tartly. "She belongs in the desert; it's her home, Fidge."

Fidget wrinkled her nose and remained silent.

"Because Vinnie got her pregnant," Grinder told him.

Eyes bugging out, Rikki said, "Oh, dear God in heaven… No fucking way!" A handful of little iguana babies in addition to Vicki?

And he was already calling the female walking handbag by her 'name'. "Somebody shoot me," Rikki moaned, burying his face in his hands.

Fidget made a gun with her fingers. "Ker-pow!"

Alex grinned and snickered. "Actually, I think it was the 'yes' to the fucking that caused it."

Grinder laughed and Fidget scowled

Rikki just sighed. "Why me…?"

It wasn't easy being the only sane one. Sometimes he wondered if maybe he shouldn't just go over to the crazy side; it would cause him less stress.