The Diary

AN: This is a Luke, Lorelai, and Christopher story. It takes place when Lorelai is about 66 years old and retired, but mostly in the past with flashbacks. She stumbles upon an old diary in her attic which brings back memories of a love triangle that she had to untangle in the past. This story was inspired by the notebook....if you haven't seen it SEE IT!! I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: do not own any of the characters in this story

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She picked up a dusty book that lay among other antiques in the attic. It was entitled diary in gilded font with flowers encircling the cursive. The pages were yellowed with age and she suspected that it had last been confided in about 30 years ago. She thought back to when she had received this book. It had been her twelfth birthday and she had been shopping with her mother. While she had begged for the diary with a lime green cat that said "keep your paws off' in pink chunky letters, her mother had bought her this instead. She chuckled to herself. She hadn't written in it, but had sneaked out to buy the other more chic diary with the birthday money from her father. It wasn't until about 24 years later when she had stumbled upon this diary at the bottom of her desk drawer had she begun to find solace within it's pages. These were the times when she needed the diary the most.

She flipped through the pages deep in thought, noting that only about 50 pages were filled. She turned to the first page and began to read.

"Dear diary,

Today Luke picked a piece of straw out of my hair. I almost had a heart attack. At first I thought there was a piece of gum there or something, but when I saw his hand coming down with a piece of straw I felt this weird fluttery thing in my stomach. That confused the hell out of me. What's so special about straw? I actually think it was the fact that HE was pulling something out of my hair that took me by surprise. It always seems like Luke tries not to touch me. Not like I'm a leper or anything, but it's like I'm one of those diamonds with the invisible security system locked around them and if he touches me then he'll...I don't know.. I could've sworn that I saw some James Dean picking a piece of straw out of a girl's hair in an American classic. Casa Blanca? No. Gone with the Wind? Ummmmm....maybe it's just that the whole idea of someone pulling a piece of straw out of your hair is ROMANTIC. It's like they want to try as hard as they can to make sure that you are absolutely comfortable and if you have straw in your hair then you might be itchy so of course they'd pick it out for you. Or maybe I think it's romantic because it means that the person picking it out wants your hair to look perfect. Though, when I considered both of those possibilities I freaked out because this is Luke I'm talking about and Luke and I share a strictly platonic relationship. So maybe he was picking straw out of my hair in a strictly platonic way and for strictly platonic reasons. But, I somehow don't think that the whole straw picking incident WAS an act of platonicy (I made that word up ). There was something about the way his hand lingered near my head for just a split second longer then it should have and I could've sworn that my heart stopped when his fingers grazed my hair. I'm not going to think about this anymore, especially since I have suddenly become intensely aware that I have wasted the first two pages of my diary writing about straw. I have to go now, Rory's calling me down for dinner. I hope we're not going to Luke's, but then again maybe if I plant a pipe cleaner in my hair I can get the scope on what it was really all about. Oh and by the way diary, Luke invited me to his sister's wedding and I'm debating whether or not it was a platonic invitation. Ok, I'll shut up now.

Lorelai"

She chuckled to herself and moved onto the next entry with a smile dancing on her lips.

"Dear diary,

I went to the wedding. Things are weird, actually more like uber- weird. Let's start at weird number one. When I arrived at the diner dressed in my fruity renaissance outfit (specially requested by the man of the hour himself) Luke told me that I looked beautiful. I grinned and returned the compliment. I'm used to that kind of attention from the male population in general, but NOT from him. Like I said in my first meaningless babble, I always assumed that Luke had a radar or a filter or something in his brain and that that was why he kept his Lorelai flatteries at the minimum. But today I was proven wrong yet again. Luke has never told me that I look good. Ok maybe once. Fine, twice. But that's just good, I mean even Michael Jackson looks good on his better days. Luke told me that I looked BEAUTIFUL, and I was completely flattered and completely dumbfounded and completely confused all at the same time. Sure, my fruity outfit wasn't from K- mart and I had spent half the day making myself a pretty flowery crown, but did all of that really deserve a compliment over anytime before? I don't think so.

Things only got weirder from there. While participating in small – talk I mentioned seeing Jess reading a self- help book. I made a few jokes about it, because you gotta admit those things are kind of pathetic. Luke got defensive and said that he thought it was good that the little punk was trying to help himself and stuff like that. For a few minutes he met a new level of Luke weirdness. This far outran the straw- picking and beautiful- calling. If I could've named one person on the face of the earth who would kiss a toad before getting into a self- help book or even claiming that they were useful, it would be my dear old hermit friend. He shuns town festivals, he gags over women breast- feeding, and yet he can find it within him to come to the defense of those who need to bring a book with them on their first date. He will never cease to amaze me.

There are only two weirds left I swear.

LUKE CAN WALTZ!!!

That needs a whole new line, reason being, Luke can waltz...and Luke asked me to join him in the waltzing. Before he said he couldn't dance. Then he said he was a compulsive liar. Then he offered me his hand, led me out onto the dance floor and WE WALTZED. At first it was really awkward. I couldn't stop giggling and when I glanced at him, he had this crazy expression n his face, that sort of hinted towards expectancy, though of what I have no idea. It took about half a second for me to loosen up, I still tried to avoid his eyes though, because this was way out of my comfort zone....and I somehow felt afraid. I felt like if I met his eyes they would reveal the reasons why he had asked to dance to begin with and I just didn't want to accept those reasons or acknowledge them. I still don't want to. I don't know what was going through his head when he asked me to dance or when we finally made eye contact. That was the most intense moment of the entire night. I don't even know how to describe it. He was SO close to me and his eyes seemed ten shades darker then usual and I was sure that he was seeing right through mine because he was boring holes in my sockets and I knew he could feel my heart thundering because I was pressed up against him but I didn't really care because I thought he was going to kiss me and that would matter a lot more then him knowing that my heart was about to cross the speed barrier but then he tilted his head side ways and he didn't kiss me and I breathed a huge sigh of relief internally, not externally because I didn't want him to hear and think that I hadn't wanted him to kiss me when really I had. That feels so much better. I don't know what I'm going to do with all of these new feelings that one dance aroused in me. If it hadn't been for the last weird thing that happened, I probably never would've written all of this down, but instead would have marked that dance as a need for Luke to exercise his dancing rights after years of holding his boogie talents in.

He walked me home. I didn't even consider that it was a first date kind of walk home, until he asked me if I wanted to see a movie sometime when he dropped me off. I think his exact words were "Why don't we do this again". HA. Classic. I totally babbled in reply when he mentioned a movie coming up with excuses like he wasn't a movie kind of guy, but in the end I accepted. I stared after him as he left. I wondered if Luke had just asked me out but knew the answer. Indubitably Watson. So, in the end this entry comes down to this; I could be dating Luke or I could be freaking out and assuming that Luke asked me out when he didn't. But either way I never want the memories of today to be forgotten, because as much as I hate to admit it, it made me realize that I can't keep running away from things that I've been anticipating in my heart for a really really long time.

Bedazzled Lorelai"

Lorelai smiled again. She spent the next ten minutes reading various accounts of events that still stuck in her mind whenever she remembered her and Luke. There were three pages devoted to a play by play of their first two kisses; she distinctly remembered writing these to keep occupied the night that Rory lost her virginity. There was a recount of their first date. Their first- she read these pages with a goofy grin on her face, unbelieving that she had gone in to such detail when this diary did not have a lock. Finally, she stumbled upon something that interested her immensely. It was here that she began to relive the memories not just recall them. The events seemed so trivial recorded on paper, when quite contrary this entry had been written at what she would always remember as the beginning of one of the most life altering months of her life.

"Dear diary,

Chris is back. He and Sherry got a divorce. It was his free spirit driving him all along, I knew they'd never last. He came to the door just as I was having a shower and Luke was getting dressed. Luke got to the door about five minutes before me. NOT GOOD. Chris walks in the door and everything changes. The instant I was down those stairs, Chris reached out to pull me into a hug, but Luke caught my arms and guided me protectively in front of him. It was like a game of invisible tug- a- war. I was shocked to say the least. For about two minutes we all just stood there in silence. Finally Chris said "You look good." And Luke said "It's the afterglow" and I blushed and Chris crossed his arms over his chest and asked if I could talk to him privately. Luke held onto me tighter, but I somehow convinced him to leave, swearing that I would call him the minute "the business was sorted out". I turned to Chris the second Luke shut the door. He made some blatant comments about how he felt about Luke. I got down to the truth. He needed a place to crash until he could move into a condo that he was going to be sharing with a friend until he found a place of his own. I stared at him. What about his job? He could commute. What about Sherry and the baby? She wanted him out of the house "because she was mad at him for ruining the marriage." I caved. Chris can turn on the charm like no one I've ever met.

He's taking a shower right now. Rory doesn't know yet and I told Luke it's just temporary. I don't know what to do. Chris is Mr. Complication, not to mention my first love. I DON'T want him to screw things up with me and Luke. What we have going right now is so good and I don't want to put our relationship in the path of danger when I'm finally in something that I don't feel like running away from. I can't chance Chris ruining things. I care about Luke too much. I think I might even love him. But the thing is that I love Chris too and with him it's always been a different kind of love then with anyone else.....it's always been so passionate and whimsical and perfect. I'll always love Chris and that's why I don't want him near me. He does things to me that no one else can. I suspect some complications if he hangs around for too long. I really really really wish that he hadn't come. Then again, maybe him being here will strengthen Luke and my relationship. I guess I'll have to wait and see.

Lorelai"

She closed her eyes and set the book down. She allowed herself to drift through her subconscious and found herself riding the rocky road that followed the diary entry. Little had she known when she had written this how completely wrong and right she had been.

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AN: That's it so far!! I'm leaving you in suspense...but I will DEFINITELY update because I feel good about this! Please review and tell me what you think should happen next!!