Your Redemption: Chapter Six: Home at Last, but Where is Home?
A.N.: Believe it or else people, ULTRA LONG CHAPTER!!! YEAH!!!! This will also mark the end of this story...sniff....But, I just might be writing a sequel!!!!!
Javert was awake. The drifting, swirling tiredness that had engulfed him had ebbed off, and he was awake. Standing up, he felt very different. Much, much taller. There were no doctors around, no Emily, and he was not lying on a concrete floor surrounded by a wire cage.
Astonished, he tried to get his bearings by looking around. Swirling, misty fog was everywhere, and that was all that he could see. He looked down to see if he could see the ground, but the mist covered his feet. Through the mist, he recognized shoes.
But dogs didn't wear shoes.
(A.N.: Wait for it......)
He was wearing shoes! Oh blessed shoes, how he loved them! And clothes. All white, to his distaste, but it wasn't fur! Thank the Lord, it wasn't fur! He was no longer Cojack, the black, fuzzy German Shepherd! He really was Javert once more! Taking an experimental step, he realized he was whole! He was in one piece, in more ways then one.
He felt like leaping for joy, but was slightly afraid to do so. Not until it was upon him did he notice the three balls of light whizzing closer to him, the second largest engulfing him.
"Javert, Javert! You did it! You won!"
Jesus? He was getting mauled/hugged by Jesus? Well there's something new. A grudging Holy Spirit was giving him his earned congrats.
He opened his mouth to say he didn't understand, but was interrupted by God.
"And there are plenty others just waiting to see you!"
"You, who else?"
Seeming to understand his misgivings, Jesus smiled at him. "You gave your life for her. You loved your fellow creation."
"I did?" Javert blinked in surprise. He was dead? He had died saving her? The memories of what now seemed like the ancient past were ringing in his ears.
He shook his head in terror. No! He must not relieve all that.
"But...But who would want to see me?"
"You don't think we're the only ones who have been keeping tabs on you all this time, do you?"
"Well, I don't-"
Now he was swept up in the human like arms of a soul.
"Javert! I told them so! I told them you could change!"
Javert was running out of breath, and blinked in surprise. He knew that voice.
"Pay up Enjolras, you cheat! I told you so!"
A grumbling young man Javert recognized from the night of the barricades dug into his pocket.
"Can't....breathe..." he chocked out. A startled Fantine released him, and Javert found himself soon encircled in a large group of people. One face was most strikingly familiar of them all. Slightly aged, but smiling warmly. Valjean stepped forward, holding out a welcoming hand.
"Welcome home," he said pleasantly.
The enormity of the situation finally hit Javert. He had committed suicide, and was dead. Without getting into the nitty-gritty details, he had become a dog, and been adopted. The neutering part of this whole arrangement stuck out quite fiercely and he brushed it aside so he could focus on the other things. He had....cared for the girl.... He had died for her...And now he was in Heaven, about to shake the hand of his mortal enemy.
Javert promptly fainted.
Unknown Date. Possible Present Day, 2004.
"Oh Cojack...I am so, so sorry...."
I shake my head. Better to let the memories fade and die than relieve them every moment of my afterlife. Such thoughts have sent a shiver down my spine, and I chide myself. The perfectly warm sun of Heaven is shinning down on me. How can I be cold? I'm not a dog anymore! How can I feel so.....different? This is the way I always wanted to be! Was!
"Javert! It's your turn!" cries Cosette, reawaking me from the hellish nightmare I was reliving once again. They have talked me into playing some ridiculous card game with Valjean, Cosette, Marius, and Fantine. Gavroche has convinced his sisters, Azelma and Eponine, to play with him, and he's off someplace.
Looking at my hand, I place a card on the allotted slot.
They all just blink and stare at me.
"Javert, that's a four of clubs," Valjean says, as though I hadn't noticed.
"Inspector, the suit is hearts!" cries a frustrated Marius. I glare at him. He's one to talk. He's losing. Badly. Encouraging pecks on the cheek from Cosette keep him from throwing in the towel.
"Mon Dieu, Monsieur!" Fantine shouts, throwing her cards into the air as they flutter serenely back down to her, mystically reforming in her hand. I never did get how that works. "Weren't you paying at all attention when I explained the rules?"
I want to lie and say yes, but that seems to be impossible here. "No," I admit without remorse.
"Mon Dieu!" the cry again, which breaks out into a fight of "No, he's my God!" "No, mine!" All except Valjean. He has his brows furrowed, with a look of studious concentration on his face.
Stretching, he lays his hand down. "I think I have had enough for today. Does anyone mind if we quit?"
Marius certainly doesn't, but Fantine is slightly reluctant. With a shrug she agrees, and I begin to wander off by myself, not minding being alone, but he quickly and quietly grabs my arm and pulls me aside.
"Bon monsieur, something troubles you."
I begin to open my mouth to protest, but once again.... "Yes." Damn it.
"Come. Speak to me of it."
I manage to shrug off his arm. "Why should you care?"
He smiles at me. "Inspector, this is Heaven. I think you will find there is no one who doesn't care."
"Goodbye, Cojack. I love you."
Damn it! No! No more! I will suffer no more by you; you cursed shadows of the past! I make this resolution sitting on a large, green grassy hill, the sun still beating luxuriously down upon me. Mon Dieu, does it never rain? It would seem likely as not.
Once upon a time I liked the rain. I loved the rain. Once upon a time, I was a man. I was a man with a purpose and a cause.
No! Let me dwell on it no more!
"Speak," Valjean orders, plopping down next to me on his back, his head cushioned by his arms which he has folded underneath his neck.
"I don't know where to begin," I admit.
"Start at the beginning then. Or the end. Beginnings and ends are the same they say."
He shrugs. "Don't know, don't ask, don't care."
"I'm not sure I like the mindlessness of this whole situation....."
"But in a sense, that is freedom. To never have to worry and think for yourself and reap the consequences has been a human dream for ages. It was in the beginning, and will be in the end. People hate responsibility in a sense."
"The beginning and the end the same again...." I murmur.
"Am I really ended?"
He shrugs again. "Not in the spiritual sense, no, I would think. Physically, you can just forget about reincarnation."
I shudder at the words. "That's good. I plan to."
"But you are still dead."
"In a way, that's how this whole thing truly started. That is, once you get past the birth, and life, and the suicide....."
He shrugs again, and I begin to hate his constant shrugging. "Yes, some people would agree with that."
"What do you mean?"
"A never ending chain... An endless circle... Birth, Life, Procreation, Death, Birth......"
"But you said I cannot die."
He smiles. "No, you will last until the end of time. Your soul shall always endure."
That is slightly comforting.
"But that is not the point! The beginning monsieur, the beginning!"
I take in a great gulp of air, and find I cannot speak. I cannot move. All at once the pictures and sounds come flooding back to me in a great and massive tidal wave. Make it stop, make it stop!
"He deserves both pity and punishment..."
"I like him....."
"You were a good dog, Cojack. I will never forget you..."
"Javert?" Valjean asks worriedly.
"Why?" I whisper dryly, some new revelation dawning on me.
"Why? Why what?"
"Why is it all like this?"
"Are you feeling all right? Javert, what on earth do you mean?"
"I am in the land of feasts, and I am starving. I live in the city of eternal splendor, and I am barren. I am surrounded by the life giving river, yet I am dying of thirst....Tell me....Tell me why, Valjean."
"Are you mad?"
I grab him by the collar of his white robes. "I said tell me why! You know! You must know!" Despite myself, my voice has becoming pleading.
Loosening my grip, he manages to meet my burning, staring eyes.
"I do not know."
"You must!" I insist.
"I do not know!" he repeats. "You do not need me, to know that!"
"What do you mean? Why is there nothing I can understand here? You know! You must teach me!"
"I cannot! Damn you, Javert, you do not need me!"
I still cannot understand.
"You haven't realized it by now? You are in Heaven!" he repeats this slowly. "You can dance with angels! You are sung to sleep by Seraphim! You can walk with God! You may speak with Christ! The world is yours! Why do you not take it?"
"I.....I can talk with God?"
He rolls his eyes. "Duh!"
He can still see the confusion and terror on my face. He places his hands firmly on my shoulders. "Javert, Javert.....My now dear friend....Let your reformation be your salvation!"
Well this is awkward.
I'm standing alone in front of the temple where God is. I can see the excess light shinning through the pillars. All I need to do is take one step and...
My feet have rooted themselves to the floor, which makes walking an impossibility. Oh well. I guess I'll just have to turn back.
"That's right you coward," I mentally chide myself. "Run away with your tail between your legs. You've done it before."
Except for, I don't have a tail anymore. And where am I to run to? He is everywhere, and I must face Him some time! I take a deep breath, and a large step, squeezing my eyes tightly shut.
Opening them, I see the bright light everywhere, with angels around its apex, fanning and offering wine and meat.
"Javert!" He says brightly. "Come closer, my dear one, come closer."
Reluctantly, I take a step. How I can be considered dear to anyone is beyond me.
"You doubt yourself to much! Come here!"
Damn. I hate His ability to read my mind. Damn, damn, damn. Oh well. There's nothing to be done about it now. Best to do as He asks, and come closer. Timidly, I do, and, after kneeling in reverence, at His behest, I rise.
"Now, what's on your mind?"
"I'm not exactly sure..."
"You're not?" He asks concernedly, like a worried, doting mother. "Well then we must fix that immediately. Oh, now don't cower away so much! I'm not going to hurt you! Nay, nay, come! Come here!"
Obediently, I step a little closer....
I'm being dragged up by the arms by Angels, and gently placed on God's lap.
"Now I told you, you have nothing to fear! If I have to beat that into your head, I'll do so! Now speak!"
"But I don't know what to talk of!"
"Then you must talk of nothing! Nothing is a very handy tool. Speak long enough, and it evolves into something."
And so I speak....and speak....and speak. The minutes seem to fly by, though I know that time has no hold here. Heaven's sun is fading away and its moon is taking its place, while the stars give their nightly dance above the sky. I fail to notice this. I just speak and speak until I'm pouring myself out to Him, and I feel that I am now just a puddle on the floor, having spilled so much out.
He is nodding sagely, and I fear I might have bored Him to sleep.
"I never sleep, and I always listen," He says, intruding on my thoughts once more.
"Well then what am I to do? What is the matter with me?"
He blinks in surprise. "You mean you hadn't realized that part? Well, you must go see the Holy Spirit. He will help you."
"Realized what?" I cry in confusion. "The Holy Spirit? But He hates me!"
He waves that aside. "Nonsense! He's a bit over zealous is all."
"Well, fires do that, you know."
Yes, the Holy Spirit was also Holy Fire. I'd forgotten that. He ushers me out and I pause a moment to listen to listen to the Angels, who are singing to the dawning sun the praises of God.
He flutters this way and that way. Past me and behind me. I cannot get used to it, but He has already told me that He knows why I'm here for the Lord told Him.
"So then what am I supposed to do about it?"
"It's not what you are supposed to do about it! It is what I am supposed to do about it!" He says stubbornly.
"Well then what will you do?" I say, equally vexed.
"Its really quite simple: Send you back."
"What?!" I demand. "But....But I don't want to go back!"
"Pish posh! Why do you think you've been acting so glumly if that's not why?"
"But I like it here!"
"Liar," He says jovially. "Oh don't scowl so! It's nothing permanent. No, you shall go back as a ghost, and come and go as you please."
"What? By myself?"
"If you like. Or you may take Valjean or Fantine with you. I don't really mind who."
"Stop this fussing! You are to go back down as a ghost. If it frightens you so much, take it briefly and come jetting back."
Before I can make anymore protests, I am being flung from Heaven. A soft whirl wind surrounds me and I feel myself changing back into a dog! Something whispers in my ear to fear nothing; that all ghosts are dogs. The ones that are human are just stubborn renegades.
On solid ground, I am clawing at the air, trying to get back up. The sound of sobs makes me stop, and I turn around.
I'm in Emily's apartment! I'm in her bedroom! She's flung herself on the bed and is crying! Crying? Crying for whom? Is she crying for me?
"Of course, you moron!" the Holy Spirit says. "She loves you!"
I am speechless, and I timidly take a few steps towards her. But she cannot hear me, for I am a ghost.
"And you love her," He adds.
Yes, I suppose I do. I hop up onto the bed and gently nuzzle her cheek. Her sobs desist slightly. Hush now, I am here.
Maybe He is right. Maybe I do love her. My task was to learn to love my fellow man. I sacrificed for my fellow man, but did I love it? Lying down beside her to bring her comfort, I realize I must have. I am a ghost, but I am bound by neither Heaven, nor Earth. I am a man and a dog in turns. I have made peace with the greatest enemy I ever had, and waged war with myself.
Yes, I suppose such things as this are considered love.
Where ever she goes, I will follow. She was never alone before, according to my Lord, but she certainly isn't now. Hush, do not be afraid. Cry no more. I am here.
Yes, I suppose I do love her.
criesIT'S SO FLUFFY AND SAD AND CUTE!!!!! Review people! I think this is one of my favorite fics ever written, so I've got to know what you think! Also, be on the look out for the sequel: Your Rapture.