Chapter 20

Trusting Lily


I shook my head. Lily lied. I wasn't her boyfriend. Why would she lie? The girl at the door shook her head.

"Are you coming here for Lily? Are you like her boyfriend or something?" The girl narrowed her eyes.

"No," I said, and walked away.


Lily bounded down the stairs a couple minutes later. Petunia scowled from her seat at the table and turned a page of her magazine so ferociously that it tore. Lily skidded into the kitchen, glowing with happiness, a grin on her face. Petunia glared at her over the magazine.

"What?" Lily asked her sister, tucking her wand in the back pocket of her jeans.

"I will not be your messenger," Petunia said venomously, throwing the magazine down and walking out of the kitchen. Lily hurried after her.

"What are you talking about?" Lily questioned, grabbing an apple from the front hall table as Petunia walked by it.

"I'm not going to take messages from tall men with bad hygiene habits," said Petunia bluntly. Lily's eyes widened.

"No, no, no!" Lily groaned. "Pet, did he have black hair and glasses?" Petunia nodded slowly. "Pet! He just lost his memory! Were you nice to him?" Petunia shrugged and walked away. Lily growled.

"Pet! Come back here!" Lily rushed after Petunia as she ascending the stairs to her room. Petunia stopped on the 4th step.


"Pet! What did you say?"

Petunia crossed her arms again. "I asked him if he was your boyfriend."

"No," Lily moaned. "What did he say?"

"He zoned out for a minute, then said 'no' and walked away," Petunia ran up the rest of the stairs to the platform on top. "I'm going now."

Lily didn't seem fazed. "Thanks, Pet. I guess," Lily shook her head and jumped off the step, landing on the bottom. Sighing, she ran out the door, and right to the Potter's.

She knocked on the door. The window in the front of the house's curtain opened slightly and Lily saw long black hair swish away as the curtain closed.

"We don't want any," said a voice from the other side of the door. Lily smiled.

"Sirius Black, open this door," she demanded.

"There is no such person at this address," came the answer.

"Black," Lily threatened, as the door finally swung open. Sirius walked out grinning, shutting the door behind him. His grin slipped off his face.

"James isn't with you?" Sirius craned his head and looked around the yard.

Lily shook her head. "I thought he came back over here. Pet said that he..." she trailed off. She wasn't about to confess to Sirius Black about lying to James.

"Where's everyone else?" Lily asked Sirius, nodding her head toward the Potters' closed door.

"Remus went with Mia and Alexa shopping again. They had to drag him out of here," Sirius chuckled as if seeing the memory all over again. Lily's attentive eyes turned toward the beach.

"The beach!" she cried and ran toward it. Sirius took a moment, but finally grasped what she had said and hurried after her.

James' POV

I guess I was lucky that the beach was pretty deserted. Maybe it was a private beach reserved for people that owned the houses'. But how was I to know? This was my first time here, or it felt like it.

I felt trapped like I had with Lily at the hospital. I knew there was a world beyond this beach and the small house, but I felt like I couldn't access it.

Not that it wasn't a nice beach or anything; because trust me, it was. It was almost mid afternoon and the sun was casting lazy shadows around the few sunbathers that were out. The ocean formed small waves that drifted a little before splashing into the shore with a small bang, earning squeals from a couple of younger kids about 50 feet away from where I sat. The sand was moderately warm, not burning hot like I expected. It wasn't that hot out today, so I wasn't sweating to death.

My shorts were bothering me though. They were long, nearly pants, and as I sat in the sand, I could feel the sand trickle in through a hole near my leg.

A few people walked by, chatting amicably to each other. I was close to the shore so everyone who passed could see me. They stared at the scar on my face as if I was a grotesque creature and not a male with a scar. I touched it self-consciously. It was so jagged, like someone had literally taken a knife and brought it down, a little by little with shaky hands. I wanted to ask someone how I got it, but the only person I knew was Lily and I couldn't trust her. Her name sparked something in me. I had obviously liked her from what I could tell from the memory.

Had this been an old memory and I really was Lily's boyfriend? Had I judged her too quickly? I could try to trust her.

And what about this flashes I keep seeing? Were they real memories? This dreams I had before I had woken, I knew they weren't real. Lily didn't have a child. I wasn't a Snitcher or whatever that is.

Were they planted memories to confuse me? I groaned in frustration. There's so much I don't know. It's like there is a huge gap in my head where my memories were. My head throbbed from thinking so much.

What happens when I have to go back to school? I wouldn't be a good magician or whatever it is that I am. Oh right. A wizard. Was Lily pulling my leg when she had said that? Were they all part of an evil plan to confuse me? Because it's succeeding, all right. I felt like the only thing I had were my thoughts.

I felt like a foolish child that had fallen for an older child's scheme. But what if Lily was trying to help and they only reason she said she was my boyfriend was not to confuse me? The other teenagers and I are probably all good friends. They visited me and Lily didn't they?

I felt an attraction when I was around Lily. I could sense something was going on between us. What if I had screwed that all up for myself when I get my memory back? I mentally kicked myself.

I messed up. I didn't know what to do.

I took a rock from the beach and threw it at the water. It sank.

I turned around and saw Lily and one of the guys from the hospital coming up behind me.

My mind went on overdrive.

I can't trust Lily. I can't trust Lily. I can't trust Lily. I can't trust Lily. I can't trust Lily. I can't trust Lily. My mind repeated over and over again.

I turned sullenly back to the water. Lily and the guy plopped on either side of me. I stared defiantly out at the water. I made a move as if to pick up another rock, but Lily caught my hand and held it. I tried to get out of her grip.

"James," she said softly. A wave of nausea went over me.

"Potter," I replied. I daringly met her eyes. "You call me Potter."

"No, James! I used to. I used to hate because you'd show off and ask me out every other hour! But you've changed and I accepted that! We're friends and you've got to learn to trust me!" Lily let go of my hand. Her eyes filled. She was going to cry, and I had no idea what to do. I patted her awkwardly on the back. There was silence.

"I'm sorry, if that helps," Lily told me, fiddling with her hands nervously. I threw the rock in the water. I wanted to tell her it doesn't.

The guy with long black hair rubbed the back of his neck and held out his hand.

"I'm -um- Sirius Black. You call me Padfoot."

"Why?" I asked, curiosity getting the best of me. He grinned cheekily.

"Reasons," Sirius smiled, and skipped off. Yes, skipped.

"And he's my buddy?" I asked Lily skeptically. She grinned and took my hand.

"Only the best. You guys have had so many adventures, pranks too. Does-erm- that trigger anything?" I shook my head, standing up and tripping. My mind went blank again.

"-and once we get him, Moony, you perform a Tripping Jinx; Padfoot, you spill the potion; and..Wormtail, just stay out of the way."

The mousy boy protested, but James stopped him, raising a hand. The boy gulped and nodded.

The boy called Moony sighed. "Fine, but I get the cloak. I'm not risking my last few weeks of school cleaning out the trophy room like last year."

James nodded and turned to Padfoot. Padfoot saluted. "Got it, boss!"

The others snickered. James slapped him upside the head. "Get on task, soldier."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Sod off!" He ran away. James sighed. "Someone watch him. Knowing him, he'll pore the Wart potion on Bertram." Both nodded.

"Okay, men, move out!"

I shook my head. Lily, however, looked delighted.

"That was a memory!" She stated, thoroughly thrilled. I rubbed my temples and sat back on the

"So, I was a prankster?"

"Well, yes. But you were a good one." Lily told me. I scratched my head.

" Is that possible?" Lily giggled, burying her face in her hands. When she came back up, she was no longer smiling.

"James, you have to remember more." Lily's eyes bore into mine. I nodded slowly, turning away from her.

"Tell me something," I instructed, turning back to her. Lily's foot traced a line in the sand. She gave me an apprehensive look.

"What? I need to know so tell me."

"Well, I suppose you were a flirt. You'd ruffle your hair for attention and make fun of others to impress girls. You had the eye of many girls, and quite frankly, some blokes too."

We shared a laugh. I mentally searched my mind to see if the blokes rang a bell. Thank Merlin they didn't.

Wait, who's Merlin again?

"Lily, what am I supposed to do? I can't remember anything. When I start back up at this school, this magic school, I'll be oblivious. How do we do magic?" I shook my head, cursing myself for acquiring this amnesia.

"Check your back pocket," she instructed. I felt a long stick and pulled it out.

"A stick? What do I do with this, poke people?" I aimed the stick at Lily's face and pretended to stab her with it, waving it around. Sparks flew out. I was so surprised that I dropped it. Lily grinned. Her smile was becoming addicting. I had to smile too.

"See? Magic! How about I teach you some spells to help you get back into magic again?" I nodded and grabbed the stick, pointing it at Lily.

"First, never point it at people!" Lily grabbed my wand, twisting it around her fingers.

"Coz you might poke an eye out?" I asked curiously.

"Or kill someone. Either way, it's dangerous, " Lily told me casually. I must have looked mortified. Lily giggled and handed my wand back.

"Let's try a spell. Point at the ground and say 'Incendio'."

"Incendio," I muttered, pointing the wand at the sand in front of me. Nothing happened. "Maybe I lost my magic when I lost my memory."

Lily shook her head. "You don't have the right movements. Here," Lily grabbed my palm and opened it, placing the wand a bit further up then I had it. She closed my palm and grasped my hand. I looked at her. The sunset behind here made her look almost angelic. She mimicked a hand movement first. Then, we said the spell together. A small flame shot out.

Lily smiled at me, her hand still on mine.

And then I knew I had to remember everything I could.

Just, and if only, to remember her.

A/N: Yes, I know. It took forever and is only halfway decent. Thank you reviewers. Off writers' block on this though, thanks to the Beatles, the Who, Lonestar, and Blake Shelton. Please review to tell me you're still out there, because I am, and I'm willing to keep going on this. Tell me what you want to see.