Absolute Shocker!

By JamesRoxMySox

Disclaimer: I own nothing recognisable from the Harry Potter books or movies that belongs to J.K.Rowling and Warner Brothers studios

The Quidditch Pitch – Watching The Wise Ravenclaws Have A Good Shot At Those Slimy Slytherins


I'm beginning to rethink this whole 'let's go watch some quidditch to make you feel better' idea

Here I am sitting, I don't know, what 9 feet maybe, at best, from the bloke who is at the present moment causing me head spins

He, however, is looking rather pleased with himself, mind you he does have a very pretty brunette batting her eyelashes up at him on his left

The presence of said pretty brunette is not helping my present state of mind to say the least

Now I know I have absolutely no right to get all upset and heaven forbid jealous about that fact that this charming young woman is giving her full attentions to one James Potter, I mean hello, he's James Potter! Females are falling at his feet left, right and centre and all hours of the night and day

Oh no, what I object to is the fact that he's encouraging her!

How dare he! The gigantic prat! I should…

Wait, I don't have the right to do anything seeing as I was the one who ripped out his heart and supposedly shredded it, unwittingly of course, but still ripped out his heart and shredded it none the less

Mind you I'm not taking full blame seeing as he's not the best person at communicating feelings and what not

I mean really he could have eased into it you know

Hey, this makes him an even bigger tart than me!

Hard to believe I know but it does indeed look rather slutty from my standpoint

I mean he snogs a girl on Wednesday night, tries to get a verbal confession of undying love from said girl on Friday, never once voicing his own feelings (See, I've thought about this, he has never once said he liked me, he just kissed me – I want a commitment here!) then on Saturday turns up with some other little hussy, however pretty said hussy is, she is still a hussy



Oh it's alright it's just Cam, he's trying to call my attention to the fact that the game is going to start

I thought it might have been someone else, someone who I would prefer didn't read any of this entry and is sitting about, oh 9 feet away…

Actually he's giving me one of those exasperated looks I'm so used too, the game isn't about to start either – I wonder what on earth he wants?

I was quite happy ranting, he should know by know I don't like my ranting interrupted

"Er, yes?"

He just rolled his eyes

"You didn't hear a word of what I was telling you, did you?"

Uh oh

I was to preoccupied with ranting about James and the little hussy that I completely missed whatever important piece of quidditch trivia Cam was waffling about

At least I'm pretty sure he was waffling about quidditch trivia

"Of course I did, you were saying something about the great quidditch match of '29 between the Cyclones and the um, Meat Cleavers or something…"

Please let him have been waffling about that bloody game again, please

Never thought I would be making that particular request any time soon, ah well desperate times call for desperate measures and all that bollocks

"You mean the Great Quidditch Final of 1939 between the Tornados and the – oh just forget it lily, I wasn't even talking about that anyway!"

Cam let out a frustrated sigh

"Well what were you talking about then?"

Honestly they expect me to keep track of every little thing

I know I sound like a sulky little brat but that's beside the point

"I was trying to point out the fact that James is trying rather too hard with Violet Hunter"

I raised my eyebrows

So the hussy has a name…

Oh Merlin, I'm boarding on obsessive this is not good

"Your point being?"

Cam rolled his eyes

"Well obviously he's trying to make you jealous and by the looks of it he's managing splendidly" He looked pointedly at my dairy

"Oh shut up! See if I care that he's being a git, he's the one who won't let me explain and he doesn't say what he means he just does stuff and expects that to be enough"

Cam's face distorted with disgust

"That was far too much information, I think the mental images may have just scarred me"

I punched him lightly

"Oh shut up, you big Jesse"

Of course I explained things to Cam and Tri when we meet them down at breakfast, it was much easier the second time round seeing as I had my ever helpful friends to offer support and of course their own comments on the situation

I believe Bridget summed it up nicely: Basically James snogged Lily, she freaked when she woke up the next morning and avoided James like the Dragon Pox. James got pissed and found Lily and then asked her what she felt for him before being all melodramatic and flouncing off in a strop to leave our poor Lily all bewildered. Luckily Sirius came along and gave her a few pointers so now she's finally realised she has a thing for James, only now he's pissed and she's at a lose as to what to do

As you can imagine she was quite red in the face after that rather detailed tirade

"What's he going to achieve by making me jealous, hmmm?"

I mean apart from convincing me further of his gittishness

"Proving, more to himself than anyone else, that he's still one of Hogwarts' most sought after bachelors, oh and you know, getting his own back for when he was wallowing in misery and you were all happy and completely unaffected"

My mouth formed an 'O' shape

"Well he really is stupid git then isn't he"

I say after a minute as the players walk onto the pitch

Cam gives me a side was glance

"Correction – a stupid git you happen to be head over heels for"


He's got me there I have to say

Blast James and his being so… well, so bloody him

Oh look their off!

Hey! You can't do that!

Not even a minute in and the Slytherins are playing dirty

I just know this isn't going to be pretty, mind you quidditch never is

Sunday 12th February – Detention in Yougarty's Dungeon, pickling what I suspect to be some poor unfortunate late animals' spleens and other squealchy bits

Well I was right when I said it wasn't going to end pretty

The Slytherins, true to form, played with very underhanded tactics and seriously injured one of the Ravenclaw beaters, I doubt the poor girls hair will ever be the same

The end result was not pleasing, well not for the Gryffindors anyway. It was a close game and Ravenclaw won by the catching of the snitch, much to the annoyance of the Slytherins, Ravenclaw managed to pull away a bit towards the end, despite all their efforts, legal and otherwise

Ravenclaw turned out to be quite a good team much to the despair of the Gryffindor team, apparently this has upped the ante and means Gryffindor have to win their next match, which is against Ravenclaw, by a certain amount of points

Don't ask me how it works all I know is that the Gryffindor team needs to work their arses off to get the Cup and that's because Cam told me so, I was only there for the therapy which was quite helpful to be honest

Screaming your lungs out and shouting various insults at people who can't even hear you is surprisingly therapeutic

Especially when the git who you are actually quite ticked off with is within your line of sight

I think Nessa may be on to something here, hmmm maybe I should take her advice more often

Oh god no, I retract my last statement

I just recalled some of her so called 'advice' and it always leads to trouble

Her advice would also be the reason why I am now glumly pickling the various parts of some poor creatures anatomy

I swear I've never known animal parts to disappear so quickly from the potions store cupboard, though Yougarty did say something about waiting for a student in detention who actually knew how to preserve potion ingredients properly

Sometimes I really wish I was devoid of intellect, then I would be scrubbing floors or something rather than fiddling about with slippery body parts

Why exactly am I in detention in the first place never mind playing about with dead things?

Well that would be because I followed Nessa's advice and really 'let myself go' in regards to the quidditch

I was not impressed with Slytherin

Okay, yes, they are a good team talent wise but they are a good team talent wise that cheats at every opportunity

Some of the Slytherins I'm friendly with are actually quite ashamed of their team's lack of sportsmanship but apparently the captain's a bit loopy (aren't they all?) and is determined to win the cup this year through means fair or foul

Hmmm, sounds a bit nutty to me but then James has the Gryffindors up at 5:30 in the morning to practice so I would say he's only one rung down the crazy ladder

Or maybe it's just because he hasn't become desperate yet

Anyway The Slytherins won, much to the despair of many

Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors alike tried to comfort the Ravenclaws

Most people were convinced that the Slytherins had got away with murder and should be disqualified from the competition for the Quidditch Cup

Nessa, Tri and the twins were being particularly vocal, I'll admit I was encouraging them, hell, I was probably louder then the rest of them put together

I was having far to good a time bagging the Slytherins to care much for what was going on around me

Hence I didn't really register when I smacked into Regulus Black and it completely escaped me that now would be a good time to shut up

But no of course I didn't shut up I just kept going

Knowing Reggie as well as I do I know for a fact that he's itching for a fight most of the time but straight after a quidditch match he's just about ready to jump anything that moves and isn't wearing Slytherin robes

Mind out of the gutter please

I think it has to do with all the adrenaline courses through his small mind, it throws out the already wavering chemical balance

So me, one of his favourite punching bags, verbally bashing the good Slytherin name at the top of my voice, right in front of dear Reggie, offers up a chance to good to miss

First came the verbal abuse, he had the nerve to call me a sore loser, I almost smacked him one – well I did but that came later…

To begin with I gave him a dressing down on his obscene quidditch tactics

"You call that playing Quidditch? More like a demonstration by Thugs 'R' Us! Surely your keeper can't be that bad that you have to physically take out the opposing chasers"

"Watch it Mudblood! Our keeper has more talent in his little toe than the whole Gryffindor team put together"

"Oh really? Is that why the last Gryffindor – Slytherin was such an embarrassment? So you're keeper has what it takes but the rest of you are hopeless then"

We carried on like this for a while until Reggie finally cracked his cool and tried to hex me – stressing the 'tried', he wasn't very successful

I think he tried to through some silly dark spell at me that his cousin Bellatrix taught him, lucky for me I had the help of his other cousin Narcissa and that wonderful little blocking spell that does the bouncing thing

Quite nifty really, not only does it block the spell but it causes it to rebound upon it's creator but it first bounces of the closest object so they think they're safe for a moment but really they're not

As I said rather nifty

However Black managed to dodge it and then I cursed him with that little jig hex that provides entertainment for all

He cursed me with some tickling charm or what not – I swear to Merlin I have never laughed so hard in my life

We both attempted to throw a few more hexes and curses but between me laughing my head off and Reggie dancing about the place they never seemed to find their mark

Well as you can imagine that wasn't going to stop the two of us

I think we both lunged at each other at approximately the same time as our little disagreement turned far from pretty

We were a tangle of arms and legs going everywhere trying to cause as much damage to the other as possible, all the while I'm cackling the wicked witch of the East and Blacks legs are trying to out do any passing leprechauns

I'm positive this caused much needed amusements for the masses as none of my beloved friends or peers came to my assistance, I believe they were all to busy pissing themselves laughing to lend a hand

Eventually it was Fogarty who came to investigate the source of the students delight and he was most displeased with what he saw, well, that's what he lead us to believe but secretly I'm sure he found it just as amusing as everyone else

"Ms Evans! Mr Black! Stop this at once, there is no need for such violence!"

He tried to get close enough o pull us apart but he copped a foot in the stomach, I'm not entirely sure who's foot it was to be honest , could've been Blacks but I'm willing to take credit for it

Seeing as he'd just been winded Fogarty decided to back off and call for reinforcements

"Mr Potter, Ms Bones – please assist me to put a stop to this nonsense"

You won't get any help from that quarter Yougarty

"We've already tried sir, but to part them physically you're more likely to get a kick in the teeth"

"Well have you tried using your wand Ms Bones?"

Now, now not need to be patronising

Black and I were still giving no heed to those around us but apparently we were quite the sight

"Of course sir, it had no effect though"

Amy was becoming slightly distressed by this point, well so Nessa says and Potter was apparently just looking on with a bemused look on his face

"Well really! That's quite enough, Evans, Black, that's 15 points from each of your houses and if you don't stop this instant you'll both have detention"

After his orders went unheeded Fogarty was quite at a loss as what to do, two of his favourite students were trying to kill each other on the quidditch pitch and there was nothing he could do about it

Nessa said that Amy appealed to James for help

"James, DO something!"

He didn't even glance her way

"What do you want me to do? Lily seems to be handling herself quite well, they'll both get tired before long and that'll be it"

Amy rolled her eyes

"This is Lily we're talking about, she won't stop until she's at least rendered him incapacitated for the rest of his life and you can't very well date her if she's in Azkaban"

James mumbled something under his breath before taking out his wand

Rhi reckons she's never seen anything like it, a simple flick of his wrist and we were sailing in opposite directions

The Gryffindors caught me and the Slytherins caught Reggie, both groups moved in opposite directions, I suppose to drag us off to the hospital wing hoping to use different corridors

Not that either of us were going to go easily

I'd like to make it very clear right now that Regulus came off looking a whole lot worse than I did

Okay so we were both covered in blood, scratches and bruises but he still came off far worse than I did

I can't remember exactly when the tickling charm was removed but I do know that I didn't stop glaring at Regulus until he was out of sight

I think this has just upgraded our personal vendetta to all out war

Though some how I don't think Regulus is going to take me on in single handed combat any time soon

My friends were fussing about with my bruises and such but I think all that adrenaline just numbed that pain as I had to have my multiple bruises and bleeding lip pointed out to me by a rather hysterical Rhi and a none to calm Nessa

Sirius chose this moment to put in his two knuts worth

"You know Lily if it wasn't under pain of death, I could kiss you about now"

I raised my eyebrows at him

"Don't give me that look, you're a lovely girl and all but I do value my life, however I am greatly indebted to you for that lovely privilege of seeing my younger prat of a brother have the stuffing knocked out of him by a girl"

I narrowed my eyes

What, he thinks he'd fair any better?

Okay so maybe is a good deal bigger than Regulus and has some fighting abilities does not mean I couldn't have a fair go at him

I could, really I could… it's most likely I wouldn't survive but I could have a damn good shot

"Er, I mean, your brilliant Lilykins" he added hastily before dashing off

I heard him speaking to James as Cam and Tri took me up to the hospital wing

"Promise me you won't get on her bad side any time soon, I rather like having a best mate"

Huh, he's already on my bad side, the great git

But one consolation was that the hussy had disappeared from his side

Madame Wilkes cast me a foreboding look when Tri and Cam deposited me on a bed in the hospital wing

Thankfully Regulus was making such a racket moaning about his pains and aliments that Wilkes had hardly any time to scold me for my disgraceful behaviour as she put it and if she had it her way I would be in the hospital wing for a good week to make sure all the bruises had healed probably but as it was Black was taking all her time so after dinner I was free to go

Oooh that has to be the shortest hospital visit I've ever had


But of course Yougarty was waiting for me when I came out and he assigned me this lovely job of preparing his potion ingredients

Apparently Black's still too unwell to be released from the hospital wing so he's doing his detention tomorrow

Stupid git

I suppose it's not that bad, I mean I could have been assigned to help Williams with her special trees – that would have been the end for me I'm afraid

Thankfully it's just this musty old dungeon, these rather unnaturally slimy body parts and me, Fogarty had some rather pressing potion papers to attend to and scuttled off to his office

Pft! I bet you anything he's got a rather pressing date with some fire whiskey rather than grading papers

Though I have to say I don't mind in the least as I was able to get through what he left for me and there doesn't appear to be any more slimy things lying about so I guess I can just wander about a bit until a) Fogarty comes back or b) I get overly bored and leave a note and leg it

Well, well, well what do we have here?

It looks like the 7th years have been making some rather interesting potions

The temptation to play about with James' is very great but I shall resist temptation

I am not that weak

I refuse to be that weak

Oh but I could just… no one would know, well James might guess but there'd be no proof

NO! Bad Lily

We are attempting to win him over NOT cause him to annoyance

True he might rethink his git like attitude but – NO! Stop that we are not going to do anything I will later regret

I know this sounds all rather schizophrenic but some times I think I am when dealing with the ever tricky Lily part of my multifaceted personality

Or maybe I just refuse to accept that I do actually have those traits in my personality

Hmmm what am I going to do about this James thing seeing as he's annoyed at me because I didn't tell him straight out that I'm head over heels for him and I'm off him because he was demanding that I profess my undying love while he just got to analyse the situation first

So neither of us is in fact talking to the other and we are both doing our best to make the other one even more pissed off

Such a loving relationship

Maybe I should talk to Remus, he's usually quite good at out lining what the hell is going on in his demented best mate's head

Not going near Sirius again though

I think I shall have to find out what the hell he knows first before going near him again

Bloody James – why does he have to make everything so difficult?

Sunday 12th February – Lunch


Here I am trying to eat my lunch and Cam and Tri are sitting opposite me having a competition as to who can out gross the other

I don't even want to know what Cam's planning to do with those peas but it's enough to put me off my cottage pie and I may never drink tea again after that little demonstration from Tri of how the mouth and the nasal cavity are connected

I may be at lunch but I sure as hell don't want to eat anything with those two in front of me, I'm sure projectile vomit would win the competition but in all honesty I'd rather keep what little of my lunch I've managed to get down

Nessa just finds it funny and oh Merlin now SHE'S giving it a shot

My friends are mad

Rhi is over at the Ravenclaw table talking to Lorelei, very nice girl but has a strange effect on the opposite sex. According to Rhi her grandmother or someone was an ondine, a bit like mermaids only they don't have the fish tails they just look like beautiful young women. They are found in Germany and Scandanavia and young men usual fall into obsessive love with them at the sight of their long golden hair, coral lips and sparkling green eyes

And that would be a perfect description of Lorelei, every now and then you see some poor bloke catch sight of her and his eyes'll glaze over for a second and you just know that for the rest of the day he'll be mooning over her

But fortunately Lorelei is a lovely girl who finds they whole thing rather embarrassing to be honest, I'm just so glad some one like Rosemary doesn't have these particular traits or I think we'd all be in trouble, her ego would take over Britain

God knows where the twins have got to, they get like this sometimes bugger off on their own to do, well, I've no idea – most likely get into mischief and pass themselves off as each other while doing things they are not suppose to do

Bridget's not with Star Boy which is a start seeing it's hard to separate those two some days but I'll tell you who is fawning over Black – Phinny

He he he he he

I know I shouldn't laugh but come on, she's a crack up that one

Though not exactly known for her bravery – I wonder if….

Oh my chocolate, now that's just low

Right he's really done it this time, there's no going back now

Would you believe Rosie is flirting with James?

Well, actually, that's very believable but him flirting back?!

Not so believable

But yep I just checked again he's acting interested in what she has to say and from the glare that Sirius is sending James he's not too impressed either

Okay, so I can deal with him flirting with that brunette and basically any other girl this school possesses but not Rosy, the evil cow who thinks I'm jealous of her and out to ruin her entire life because in reality she's out to ruin mine

So that's how it's going to be is it?



Right, two can play at this game matey

You just wait, you are so going to pay for this James Potter

Where's Nick?

Ah of course, there he is peacefully eating his lunch at the Hufflepuff table, completely unaware that he's about to become a pawn in a very dangerous game of what I'm guessing is relationship chess

I may be awful at chess but I'm not above playing dirty if James is going to go full steam ahead into that dangerous terrain

And would you look at that Curly Sue is safely out of sight

Hmmm I wonder if Nick would like a chocolate chip cookie…

The Library – Hiding From James In Case He Decides To Hunt Me Down and Follow Through With Those Glares OF Death

Oooh dear, I think I just racked up some major bad karma points, definitely did nothing for my previous allocations to one of the deeper circles of hell

Well James deserved that, he was flirting about with Rosie right in front of me, the cheeky sod that he is

I was rather cruel I admit but that was the intention so I really don't have any defences on this one

I picked up the plate of cookies and started off down the Gryffindor table towards James, I'm pretty sure Tri, Cam and Nessa thought I had flipped my lid as they stopped their game to watch me saunter off down the table

They knew that I was definitely NOT going to make a peace offering to James

That would just be un-Lilyish

Oh no, I sauntered right on past James, completely ignoring him and Star Boy effectively ensuring I had their full attention

I made my way over to the Hufflepuff table, thankful for the first time today that my hair had refused to stay in it's braid and hoping to god I looked alright in my jeans and sweater

I had to stop my self physically slapping myself – Nick's friends already think I'm a bit mad I don't really need to work on the nut case area of my personality with them

Nadia and Darren were with nick so that made me feel a little bit better about I was about to do because I felt I could most likely tell them what I was up to and they would laugh

Anyway I slid into the seat next to Nick and offered my plate of cookies about

They all gave me a warm welcome and said it was lovely to see me and how was I feeling after having beat Reggie to a pulp

All very sweet

Nick just raised his eyebrows at the cookies

"Er, Lily it's very nice of you to think of us like this but we have a plate of cookies already"

Boys, they're so bloody thick

Nadia's not though

"Ah but this plate of cookies makes steam come out the ears of a certain Gryffindor Quidditch Captain"

See, girls are far more up with the emotional warfare

Nick's mouth formed a little 'O'

Darren found the whole thing rather amusing

"Yeah, that'll certainly do it, after you sat with us at the Quidditch match, I don't think herbology has ever has ever been the same. Potter's not exactly the forgiving type"

I rolled my eyes

"No he's more the gigantic prat type"

Nadia smiled and looked over my shoulder

"Well I can tell you he's certainly not happy about this little tête-à-tête, especially you leaning on Nick like you are Lily"

I felt like the cat that got the canary

Nick wasn't so pleased though

"Lily please don't drag me into this, I just got paired with Potter in Potions and I'd prefer to make it to my eighteenth birthday thanks"

I slide him a look but kept my hand and chin on his shoulder

"Don't worry, he'll be sorry if he so much as touches your quill"

"It's not my quill I'm worried about"

He has a point but honestly I would hex James to within an inch of his life he did anything to Nick

"Quit whining, what I actually wanted to talk to you about was Dana, you know the loopy blonde who has you at the top of her wish list"

"Can you get off my shoulder first, I think my arms going to sleep"

I glared at him

"No, now about Dana, she's very nice really, a tad… aggressive maybe but rather sweet most of the time"

"I know who she is, she's not shy is she?"

Dana? Shy? Why do those to words just refuse to go together?

"Er, no, she's not, but then what do you expect of someone with Veela blood? A Shrinking violet?"

More like a man eating Venus Fly Trap

"I see your point, I thought she must have something like that in her, like Lorelei Winters"

"But what do think of her? Would you say, go out on a date with her?"

That was when Nick slide me a sly look and then he turned his head to whisper in my ear

"Can't we talk about this later, somewhere a little more private, rather than the middle of the great hall at lunch time?"

I just looked at him trying very hard to hold back my laughter

He's so very cute when he's flustered

"Nope, that would defeat the purpose of this little chat. Plus Darren and Nadia want to know just as much as me"

By this point Nadia and Darren where close to bursting from laughter

"Oh Nick whisper in Lily's ear again, please, Potter sprayed his pumpkin juice all over MacDonald the last time, maybe next time he'll throw something"

Nick glared at Nadia

"Yeah at my head"

"This is brilliant, Lily you have to come sit with us more often, Potter's gone all red and Black's yelling at him, something about being a gigantic prat"

I just grinned and used every ounce of self control not to turn around and take a peek

Nick on the other hand covered his face with his hand

"I'm dead, your lucky your so cute Lily or I'd have to hex you"

I laughed and slapped him playfully

"Don't be silly Nick, you wouldn't hex me"

"Your right, I wouldn't because if I did Potter would have me in the hospital wing for the next month"

I decided now was time to take my leave as I had achieve what I set out to do now I am free to go enjoy my cookies in peace

I left Nadia and Darren still sniggering at Nick who was moaning about how he really had wanted to make it to eighteen before having every bone in his body broken

I sneaked a look at James and he looked positively livid, he was having a heated conversation with Star Boy. When he looked up I couldn't help but look straight back at him and raise my eyebrows in a silent question

He he he

He didn't look happy, I think the only person who looked more put out was dear Rosie

I smirked all the way up here to the library where I have miraculously managed to sneak in some cookies, so here I am smirking to myself, eating my chocolate chip cookies, nicely hidden in the Divination section of the library

I just discovered this place, I mean I don't know why I never thought of it before, I mean really who's going to come to the divination section?

No one

Seriously I've thought about this and it's true no one who takes that class would visit a whole section devoted to it in the library. Most of the people who take divination are slackers who did it to get out of ruins and therefore just fudge their assignments to their Professors liking so there nutty head fruit loop will think they're all brilliant and there fore don't need books to do their course

While those a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic who think the subject has actual substance will have their own personal library on the subject and wouldn't be seen dead reading these pre-medieval texts

See brilliant! Means I'm the only one in here and that's a on a busy day

Perfect hiding spot from nosy Marauders

Wait hold that thought, I can see Remus' charming smile coming towards me

Damn it, how do they do that? No matter where I go these damn Marauders seem to be able to find me

Still In The Library – Considering Finding A Nice Bomb Shelter

Yes a bomb shelter would do nicely, though preferably with a back door just in case James did manage to find me, would also come in handy if Rosie got to me first

I think a Fidielus Charm is taking things a bit too far but I could probably recommend one to Nick. Poor Nick, I really didn't mean for him to be pulled into this, I was hoping James would more concentrate on the fact that I was being a tart but no some how he got it into his tiny brain that Nick was the one to initiate things

Oh please, he saw me sashay my way over to the Hufflepuff table, start conversation, share my beloved cookies and lean on Nick – and yet Nick is the one causing trouble

I think it was the whispering in my ear that set James off

According to Remus he had been handling it quite well suppressing his outrage and what not, but as soon as he saw what he thought was interest he went a little bit mad

Again poor Nick, he really is too polite, he was just trying to get me to shut up and look what happens…. He's been put down for water torture followed by beheading

I should probably document my meeting with Remus, it was rather enlightening

Remus seemed to just materialise out of the book shelves, grinning like a fool

Reminded me very strongly of the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland

Anyway he was chirpy and his eyes were all twinkly with amusements at the afternoon's events, at least I think it was at the afternoon's events it could also be at my predictability to always find sanctuary in the library, I swear even the mad old battel axe that runs this place is even starting to look upon me in an endearing light

Not quite sure if that's good or not…

Best not to think about it, I'll stick to what I know best – when in doubt, be in denial

Anyway Remus slid into the chair opposite me and just sat their grinning

I finally gave in the silence contest, my curiosity won as it always does


Remus just kept on grinning

"No, seriously, why are you sitting there grinning like a maniac?"

Remus chuckled to himself for a bit before answering me

"Just thinking how brilliant the Infamous Lily Evans is"

My eyebrows disappeared into my hair

"Me? Brilliant?"

Remus nodded

"At buggering things up, I'd have to agree and famous for said brilliance at buggering things up you also have my consensus"

The grin's appeared again only this time accompanying a shake of the head

"You really are a strange girl, last year I got the fact that you were slightly odd but this year has just shown me how very eccentric you really are – it's quite bewildering really"

Someone's a bit slow on the up take now aren't they?

"Well what do think it's like to actually be me then? Are you about to come to the epiphany explaining hwy I'm always so very confused? I thought it was common knowledge I'm a bit lose upstairs"

I tapped my head and rolled my eyes for effect

Honestly, after six years I thought people would be a bit clued in by now

"I think your eccentricity is what makes you so very likeable and I'm pretty sure those strange thought patterns of yours is the reason why you're able to push James' buttons so well"

Uh oh

I knew this was going to come up

Remus couldn't go along happily analysing me, oh no, he had to bring the gigantic prat into things

"That little display in the great hall earlier was quite the stroke of genius, all you have to do is smile at another bloke and James is ready to blow his top"

I winced

"I don't know if you noticed he can get rather jealous?" Remus added in a bored tone, rather unnecessarily I must say

"I , uh, got that, yeah"

Stupid git

James I mean, though Remus can be quite the git at times, like oh I don't know… NOW! He puts me on edge, Remus obviously, James just ticks me off, I never know what he's getting at and it can be rather unsettling at times – I swear only Remus knows where he's going with these conversations

"But makes him go really mad is when what ever bloke you have bestow a throw away smile looks as though he may reciprocate, hit's the bloody roof when he thinks some other bloke has a chance"

I'm not that oblivious you know, I did catch on that James' is a tad possessive

Remus had been doodling on spare bit of parchment while saying all this but then he pulled up his head and gave me a rather owlish look, the big blue eyes staring intently into my own, rather more anxious, eyes

"The strange thing about all this though is you happen to be the only one who has this particular effect on him. The number of girls I've seen play mind games, whether it be the simpering girlfriend or the hard to get ice queen, not one of them has got him nearly as riled up as you do. And what I find to be the best bit is – you don't even try to wind James up, well today's an exception but usually all you have to do is be you"

I sudden thought hit me, struck me like a bloody anvil would also be appropriate

"But I'm a bloody nut case, you even said so yourself? Why on earth would you want your friend dating a known psycho? And can I just say I am not taking all the responsibility for today, James is just as much at fault as I am, I mean Rosie? Honestly!"

Remus chuckled a bit more

"If it's any comfort, I did try to warn him about that one, however James was trying to coax a reaction out of you, insisted he was prepared to go to extreme lengths. Also Sirius almost boxed his ears for being such a prat but James hit him with the Leg Locker before he could get within range"

I just stared at him with my mouth hanging open and nose scrunched up in a incredulous expression

"Has this boy never heard of flowers? I mean there are some pretty fool proof ways of getting a girl's attention but flittering about with the unhuman social tiger moth that makes said girl's life a misery is not one of then"

Remus sighed

"He's lightly miss guided"


"Okay, he's wandering the forest without a guide but I do try to give him a few pointers he just doesn't like to be told what to do, it's aversion to authority kicking in, rather like someone else I know"

He gave me a piercing look

"Oh who's that?"

Remus rolled his eyes

"Anyway, so what's it going to take for the two of you put yourselves out of your misery and relieve the rest of us of a never ending headache?"

"Don't look at me like that! It's not just down to me you know, there is another party at fault as well, why don't you go demand answers from him?"

"I already tried that but unfortunately all I got was a few curses and some unidentifiable murmurings"

"hmmm, I thought your eyebrows looked a bit mismatched"

Remus' hand flew to his head and he tentatively felt his eyebrows

"Be that as it may, James really isn't in a talkative mood, when it comes to you but then he never is to be honest"

He gave me one of those calculating looks

"You really are a baffling for our poor James, but he's determined to figure you out, you're like his personal riddle he has to work out all on his own. He won't tell Sirius, Peter or I anything, which is ever so slightly annoying as Sirius is getting positively whinny at being left out"

I gave him an innocent look

"It's not my problem what James does, I'm sure Sirius will manage some how"

"For my sanity's sake I hope so, but anyway back on topic since you are the more talkative of the two I thought I might extract a little information"

"You're an arrogant prat at times do you know that Remus? What makes you think you'll get any more out of me than you will out of James?"

Then he smirked, yes that's right smirked

I was so very tempted to sock him one

My Merlin, I'm an aggressive little sod now aren't I?

"Because Lily dear, you're not very good at concealing your emotions and when caught at the right time you'll blab to anyone anything that comes to mind"

He knows me far too well this one

"Well what do you want me to say then?"

Remus slide me a sly glance

"I was hoping it was something along the lines of you're desperately in love with James and you'll do anything to make this right"

I just gave him a 'Are you quite mad?' Look

"Okay, so maybe that's a bit much, but do you at least like the idiot?"

I screwed up my face

Hmmm, not really sure about the whole spilling my guts to Remus thing but here goes

"Well, yes, I have to say I have, unfortunately, become fond of him. It's rather sad really considering how much he annoys the hell out of me"

"Well that's a start, so I take it your not exactly impressed by his recent antics then?"

What do you bloody think?

"Decidedly not"

"Well all I can say is at least we've established a mutual liking, how we get the two of you in the same room with hexes being thrown is still a mystery but we'll take it one step at a time"

This was getting confusing, it was liking talking to one of my inner voices only it was in the fleshy form of Remus…


Wait one cotton pickin' minute…

"That's just the point though Remus, he hasn't said he likes me! He's tried to get a me to make the first verbal commitment. Yes, he's snogged me but that's all, he hasn't actually voiced any requests such as 'Lily will you go out with me?' Just what am I supposed do? Throw myself at him and hope that he'll lower himself to maybe reciprocate the feeling s if they are to his liking?"

Remus was looking thoughtful

"You have a point there"

Have a point?! You bet I have a bloody point!

Though it would be lovely if Remus could shed some light on the inner workings of his best mates minefield of a brain

"That's all you can say? 'You have a point there'? I know I have a point Remus hence why I am so utterly perplexed by whatever little games James has decided we're playing"

Bloody relationship chess, I swear I'll never be any good at it

After that Remus rambled on about this, that and the other, how James is just growing up and that it's a confusing time for him

Well it's a confusing time for me too, primarily due to our dear Mr Potter

Stupid git

Stupid git's prattish friends

Remus finally got the fact that I wasn't listening to him and buggered off, hopefully to annoy some other poor soul

Speaking of prattish friends my dear Nessa has just slid into the seat next to me

Whatever can she want?

To congratulate on that little stunt you pulled earlier, complete genius, James was floored – I am humbled by the cunning that sits before me - VH

Well thank you I'm glad you enjoyed the show, but er… why are we writing notes?- EV

Because someone just spilt an entire beaker of some disgusting looking potion in the transfiguration section and Pince is on the warpath

Plus I don't want any over zealous gossip mongers to hear our conversation

What are you on about? Over zealous gossip mongers? Who's going to be hanging around here solely to hear us talking?

Take a look around Lils, you're quite the centre of interest

Oh my chocolate… What do they think this is? A zoo?

You know you've gone the most stunning shade of scarlet I ever did see, set of your eyes so very nicely, a blush is quite becoming on you Ms Evans

Oh shush, why are they all staring? I mean there's nothing to look at

Nothing to look at? Are you completely barmy? Here we have the ever so lovely Lily Evans, who has not only given one of Hogwarts' biggest heart throbs, who also happens to be Head Boy, the absolute run around, just today she's been seen slagging off with a deliriously dishy Hufflepuff 7th year causing our beloved Head Boy to blow a gasket

That's what they're saying is it?

Well there's a couple of versions floating about, nobody knows what's going on between you two, hell the both of you don't even know, people are just filling in the blanks

Great, that makes me feel so much better, not only do I have to figure out how to win over the bloke I fancy but I have the whole of Hogwarts watching with bated breath

Oh yes I feel so much better now that you've informed what a spectacle I was making of myself

Well if you really want to know I think it's more James' antics that have been attracting attention, you've just been happily going along being you.

And it doesn't help that half an hour a go Remus blasted James about his behaviour in the common room for all to hear

Oh and did I mention Remus also told him he was a head case who needs to get a few things in perspective and James yelled back that he was a traitor and he shouldn't be taking your side?

I'll kill him

Who? Remus? James?



Both of them

Oooh goody! A good old fashioned blood bath! Can I watch? What about Sirius? Can you do him in too? He always gets on my nerves

Ugh! Let's go, I feel the walls closing in on me

Don't worry, it's not the walls it's just more people have heard about today's various events

You're not helping, though a nice cup of tea would

All right, to the kitchens it is!

Some how I feel I'm going to need many cups of tea to get through… whatever this is

Hi Everyone

Yes, I know I said I would update soon but well by my standards this is soon. Okay, yes it has been sitting on my computer three quarters of the way done for a couple of weeks but that's beside the point I've had quite a bit on, what with Christmas and new year and my mum having to fly home to Scotland and all

So yes, things are still hectic and are bound to become even more so once I move away to uni, I really am trying to get the chapters written but please be patient with me

Thankyou to everyone who has read and enjoyed the story and a very special thankyou to all those that took the time to review – I appreciate it muchly

Thanks again,