Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. JKR owns them all. She owns a lot of things.

A/N: ::giggles:: I'm insane... ::giggles again::

So, why did I write this? Dunno... I've had this idea in my head for a long time already, and now I decided to type it out. Also, I wanted to test yet new pairings.

This story will eventually (though not yet) contain SLASH. Yeah, you read right. As in, boy/boy romance. (The only "real" pairing I'm intending to use in these Detention Club fics that will be seen in this fic is Remus/Severus, but the others will follow. Yeah, I do plan to make several of these.)

Anyway, on with the story!


Detention Club - Little Red Ridinghood

Chapter 1:

What the Fuck?


"Why did we have to be here for the detention?" grumbled James, eyeing around the empty classroom. "And what the hell are we supposed to do here?"

"I'd rather know why we are all here," snapped Remus. All Marauders, Snape, and Lily stood in the same room, glaring at each other. "Even if we were to clean this room, it wouldn't take long - if we didn't start to fight," he added then.

"Well, thankfully, I can answer all your questions," said a dry voice from the doorway. "And I must say that you have now royally fucked up."

They all turned to see their young Potions Assistant, Lucius Malfoy, standing in the doorway. The twenty-two-year-old smirked. "As I'm the youngest of the staff, I'm forced to be with you in this so-called detention. And I assure you, I enjoy it even less than you."

"So what are we going to do?" snapped Snape irritably.

"Patience, Mister Snape," said Malfoy with a tiny smirk. He sat down on a chair he'd pulled out, and gestured them to do the same. As they all were seated, the Potions Assistant said, "Headmaster Dumbledore has noticed that, excluding Miss Evans here, you're almost all the time in detention."

"Not our fault," muttered Sirius angrily. "It's you teachers' fault for giving us detentions!"

Malfoy raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment on that. Instead, he said, "So, instead of making you clean the same cauldrons and classrooms for the hundredth time, you're going to do something that other people will enjoy."

"And that'd be?" asked Remus curiously.

"Rather simple." Malfoy smirked slightly, waved his wand, and made small piles of paper appear on the desk in front of each of the students. "This is the story for 'Little Red Ridinghood.' Your detention of this time is over as soon as we have produced and presented a play out of this story, the whole school seeing the result of our efforts. Until then, we'll be meeting here every day for two hours a time."

"I'm not going to be Little Red Ridinghood!" said Lily firmly at the same second as Remus said, "I'm not going to be the wolf!"

"But you were just the ones I was going to cast to those roles," said the older Slytherin. Despite what he'd said, he seemed to be wholly enjoying the whole encounter.

"I absolutely refuse!" argued Remus, sounding much angrier than any of his friends had seen him for a long time. "I'll die rather than play the wolf!"

"But you'd do it so well, Remus," pleaded Sirius then, a mischievous glint appearing into his eyes.

"And Black's going to be the girl's mother," added Malfoy, not even glancing towards Sirius.

Sirius groaned aloud. "I must learn when to shut my mouth," he muttered to himself. Then he asked, "But shouldn't we be allowed to pick our roles?"

"Dumbledore kind of feared that you'd attack each other," replied the Potions Assistant dryly. "Don't worry, though. If you do our parts nicely, maybe you'll get to pick your roles in the next production of the Detention Club."

All students let out disbelieving sounds at the name.

"Geez, don't look at me like that," sighed Malfoy. "It wasn't me who came up with the name, it was the Headmaster. Anyway, we have to get this one made, and when we're going to present the play, you can fight over the name. Now, Lupin as the wolf, Evans as the girl, Black as the mother, Snape as the grandmother, and Potter as the woodcutter."

"And what about me?" asked Peter over the sounds of loud protest that came from the others upon this announcement.

"You're going to do the Glamouring charms that we're obviously going to need," replied Malfoy calmly. "You know, I don't think that Black and Snape are going to succeed in their roles as they are now."

Peter giggled nervously, then cowered under the sharp glares Sirius and Snape were giving him.

"Okay. Does everybody know what they are going to do?" At the slow nods, Malfoy smirked. "Great. Let's get to work."


Next chapter: I Don't Want to

The Detention Club should practice the play, but Sirius doesn't want to dress in women's clothes, Remus doesn't want to eat Severus (blame the Pre-Moonal Syndrome) and Lily doesn't want to be any fun.