By Hikaru Hayashi
Hello again! I didn't realize it would take so long for me to get this up. (School is almost out! I'm so happy!)
Anyway, the results from "Who is Unknown"…
Magicman/Smokegirl: You said, "Pegasus, Ishizu, a Rare Hunter, a Duelist Kingdom eliminator, or Kaiba's evil ghost"
inuyoukai-san: You said: "Yami, Ryou, Pegasus, Kaiba, Marik, Isis, Mahado, and Rebecca". (Mahado? Rebecca! You WERE guessing just everyone, huh?)
silver-dagger-113: You said: "Yourself (heh heh…good one!), and Dartz".
And the winner is…
Well…silver-dagger-113…you were absolutely positively right on the money! You were right! It is Dartz! (Gosh, I thought NO ONE would guess!)
Anyway, here's the next chapter.
Disclaimer note: I don't own anyone/thing affiliated with Yu-Gi-Oh! I don't own the rights to the characters, cards, etc., meaning that i.e. Yami Bakura, Anzu Mazaki, and anybody still alive in this fic does not belong to me.
Chapter 9: To Kill A Crazy Person
"Unknown Revealed/Anzu-Battousai Defeated"
"Oh, snaps!" Came Unknown's reply as the shadows vanished.
Yami Bakura looked in confusion. "Hey, who are you anyway?" he said in a quizzical voice.
"I know who that is!" Yugi's ghost shouted. "It's Dartz!"
"Like heck it is," the man called Dartz replied. "I would have gotten away with driving Bakura crazy too…if it weren't for you meddling kids!"
"But, Bakura's the one who made the shadows disappear in the first place!" Yugi objected.
"Well, that's all water under the bridge," Dartz said as he brushed himself off. "In any case, Bakura, why haven't you defeated this moron yet?"
"How in bloody heck do you know my name!" Bakura shot. "I've never seen you before in my life!"
"Yes, well, long story," Dartz replied. "You've got your Millennium magic, and I've got connections in high places. So that makes us even." Dartz was stunned to be suddenly staring down the barrel of a .44.
"Don't even blink," Anzu-Battousai said. "Don't move an inch. I need to kill you."
"WHY!" Dartz whined. "I haven't done thing to you!"
"C'mon, show some mercy, Anzu," Yugi said, a bit bored of this charade. "After all, there are plenty of crows to shoot. Heck, there are plenty of criminals to shoot for that matter. But it's a sin to kill a mockingbird…"
"DARTZ AIN'T NO BLOODY MOCKINGBIRD!" Bakura shouted. "I don't know how he learned my name, but he's starting to scare me! Kill him, Anzu!"
"Please, Anzu! I beg of you!" Dartz pleaded on his hands and knees. "Spare my life; let me go free! I haven't harmed you at all…"
"That's why you stole the souls of Jounouchi Katsuya and Kaiba Seto! (Tho' I killed them anyway…)"
"Jeez, way ta stand up fer us, Anzu!" Jou's head shouted in annoyance.
"YOU KILLED JOUNOUCHI AND KAIBA!" Dartz shouted. "I thought they were your friends!"
"He-llo! I'm right here!" Jou's head called. "An' Kaiba's no friend a' mine."
"Ahh!" Dartz shrieked at the sight of Jounouchi's dismembered head. "Where's his body?"
"I don't know…" Anzu-Battousai replied, still holding the rifle at Dartz. "Maybe it disintegrated…"
"C'mon Bakura. I'm bored," Yugi whined as he floated restlessly. "Let's just fricassee Anzu and get it over with. I'd like this fight to end in this chapter."
"WHAT!" Anzu-Battousai shouted. "Yugi! I thought you were on my side! That's it. You're not my friend anymore!"
"That's fine…" Yugi said calmly. "Because, I know that…YOU'RE NOT THE REAL ANZU!" (Bum bum buuuuuuuum)
"…What?" Bakura asked, his head hung down as he suddenly felt the weight of the three Millennium items hanging from his neck. "You've confused me. This is the real Anzu, is it not?"
"Well, it is, but it isn't…"
"Okay, you've lost me, and I've been in this since the beginning…"
"Okay, well, all we have to do is…" Yugi looked around at Anzu-Battousai and Dartz. "Um, couldja give us a little room here! I'm trying to tell Bakura a top secret way to beat you, Anzu, and Dartz, you're not even involved, so just scram."
"Okay…" Anzu-Battousai said as she walked off and stood on a hill. Dartz stayed where he was.
"What makes you think I can't help you?" Dartz said, putting his foot down.
"Um, this doesn't really concern you, so I just figured you were in the way," Yugi said simply.
"Yeah! You heard the ghost, ponytail," Bakura snapped. "This is a January-February conversation, so March your way out of it!"
"Oh, fine then! Dartz shouted as he angrily stomped away. "Hmph…be that way…."
While in the process of stomping off like a three year old, he stepped on a mine accidentally dropped by Anzu-Battousai. He heard the beeping noise that told him he should run like the dickens. "Oh, snaps…!" he said before taking off.
He wasn't fast enough. The mine blew up under his feet.
"Oh no! Dartz!" Yugi shouted.
"Oh!" Bakura growled. "Blast it all, not again…(get it? "Blast" it? Ah, never mind)"
"Hm! Good thing I dropped that there…" Anzu-Battousai chuckled.
Dartz landed on the ground with a thud. He moaned, then he pulled himself off the ground and felt himself for injuries. "Thank Heaven…It's a miracle…" he muttered, then he threw his arms in the air and shouted loudly "I'M OKAY!"
"Oh, please…" Anzu-Battousai said as she pulled out her rockets and shot one at Dartz.
The only things visible after the rocket fire were his shoes, but his voice was heard from nowhere: "I'm still okay!"
"Oh Good Lord in Heaven…!" Bakura sighed. "Help us all! This is getting so old! We need to crush Anzu already!"
"That's what I've been saying…" Yugi sighed. He felt so ignored.
"If you don't mind standing still, Bakura…" Anzu-Battousai said, aiming her rockets at Bakura. "I need to crush you."
"Not on your life!" Bakura shouted. "We're tired of you, Anzu, so just get lost!" With this, he used his Millennium magic to trap the soul of Anzu-Battousai in the Shadow realm. What seemed like an empty shell fell over.
"No! Anzu!" Yugi cried as he ran to his fallen friend.
Who woulda known it was that simple? Bakura thought. Just trap her mind in the shadows…? Feh! Go figure…
"Wait, so she's beaten?" Yugi asked confusedly. "All we had to do was trap her in the Shadow Realm? You mean to tell me that we lost Yami, Marik, Grandpa, Shizuka, Otogi, Honda, Kaiba, Mokuba, and Jounouchi all for NOTHING!"
"Hey! I'm still here!" Jono's head shouted in an attempt to get recognition.
Anzu opened her eyes. "Hm…? What happened? Yugi? Why are you see-through?"
"Anzu…!" Yugi gasped. It was a miracle. It was as thought the evil side of Anzu was trapped and not her entire soul. The goody-two-shoes Anzu Mazaki was back.
"So, it's back to this, eh?" Bakura asked, smiling. "Welcome back. Believe it or not, I actually missed the nice and naïve Anzu…" He helped her off of the ground and stared into her eyes with the kindest look Yami Bakura had ever given anyone.
"Wait…You're not Bakura! You're that evil Bakura! Why are you looking at me that way?"
"Come on," he said as he led her away. "I'll take you home; you've had a long night. I hope you realize that you've just killed a lot of people today…"
"But, why is Yugi see-through? And where are Honda and Jounouchi?"
"Hey! Anzu's back!" Jou's head shouted with glee. "We all missed you!"
"EEEEEEEEEEKKK!" Anzu shrieked as she jumped in Bakura's arms. "Wh-what happened to Jounouchi's body!"
"I dunno…probably disintegrated…." Bakura said, quoting the very same words Anzu-Battousai had used. He didn't seem to mind that, instead of leading Anzu away, he appeared to be carrying her.
Dartz stood up and prepared to walk away, when he heard moaning on the ground. He looked down. "Hey, Thief! The Pharaoh's awake! You told me he was dead."
"What!" Bakura said in shock, dropping Anzu. "But, Yami is dead!"
"Ouch!" Anzu cried. "You just dropped me on my butt!"
Bakura and Yugi ran to Yami (well, actually, Yugi floated).
"Yami…?" Yugi said. "Can you hear me?"
"Yeah, if you're alive, Pharaoh, wake up!" Bakura shouted as he kicked him.
"Ouch…" Yami moaned. "I'm sorry, Aibou…I'll kill her…I promise…"
"Huh!" Yugi said in a rather stupid tone of voice as he stared at his counterpart.
"You're going to die, Anzu…"
"What? Yami…." Anzu moaned, getting up off of the ground. "What's going on here!"
"I've got you now…Darn, I missed…where's my lead pipe…? …Oh no! I've been hit in the head! I'm going to die! Bakura! Help me!…" Yami opened his eyes. "Hm…? Bakura? Aibou? What happened? I thought I was dead."
"You were…" Bakura answered.
Yami looked up. "Bakura!" He jumped up and hugged the tomb robber. "Oh my god! It was awful! Thank goodness you're here…"
"Uh…!" Bakura moaned, confused and startled. "I'm glad you care so much about me, Yami, but—"
"Oh? You actually thought I cared?" Yami asked mockingly, pulling away. "I only did that to get this back, you thief!" He raised his hand. It was holding the chain to the Millennium Puzzle.
"Ah…heh, heh…" Bakura chuckled, sweat-dropping. "Oh right…eha, ha, hah…oops…"
"Oops my butt…" Yami muttered as he stood up and put the Millennium Puzzle back in its rightful place around his neck. Then he looked at his diminutive companion. "Aibou, why are you see-through?" he asked.
Yugi fell over. "Agh…Like you'd remember…"
"…Oh! I can see you clearly now! What's up, Aibou!"
Yugi stood up, confused. "Huh…" He said as he raised his hand up to pinch his face. It hurt like heck. Yugi threw his head back and shouted "I'M BAAAAAACKK! Ah, yeah!"
Anzu looked around. "Hm? Where's Honda? And Jounouchi? (Jou's head: "Yoo-hoo! I'm here!") Where's Shizuka and Otogi? Where's Mokuba? Where's Mr. Mutoh?" She looked down. "Where's Kaiba…?"
"You killed them all, Anzu!" Yami said casually. "But, no big! Aibou and I came back, the others will too. And what in blazes in Dartz doing here!"
"Oh fine…" Dartz muttered. "Bash the former evil Doom organization leader, why don't we all. I'm an easy target…"
"Dartz! Master Dartz!" came three cries from nowhere.
"Oh, not those three bumbling idiots again…" Dartz sighed. "I told them to stop calling me that…!"
"Hey, look Yami! It's Raphael and Varon and Amelda!"
"Oh yeah!" Yami said.
"Oh, snaps…" Dartz muttered as he put his hand on his forehead.
"There you are, Master Dartz!" Raphael said upon arrival. "We've been looking all over for you!"
"We've gotta get outta here!" Varon cried. "That girl Anzu went all crazy and started blowin' the place up and crap! It was horrible!"
"We have to get you to a safe place, Master Dartz!" Amelda shouted as he grabbed Dartz's arm.
"Don't you have anything better to do than follow me around! Doom is disbanded, you know. (And quit calling me "Master Dartz!")"
"I know but—" Amelda paused when he saw Anzu standing behind Dartz. He screamed. "Ahhhhh! That's her!"
"Chill, boys." Yami said. "She's normal again. You're about three-fourths of a chapter too late…"
Raphael gasped. "It's the Pharaoh! Finally I can get my revenge!"
"Oh, shut up, Raphael!" Yami shouted. "Before I really lose my temper, and you don't want that."
"Like that time you activated the Seal of Oricalchos out of pure anger? Yeah, real smart-like."
Yami growled. Then he sniffed and stomped off. "Come on, Aibou. Let's bail the heck out of this popsicle stand…"
"Coming, Yami! Oh, and I hope you feel better, Anzu!" Yugi said as he trailed off behind his counterpart.
"I think you made the Pharaoh cry…" Varon said. "How pathetic!"
"Wait…I sense something…" Amelda said.
"Are you sure? There can't be much," Bakura replied. "After all, everyone's dead—"
"Darn…" he turned around to see his counterpart looking very angry. "Um…hello, Ryou!"
"'Hello Ryou' my butt!" Ryou said as he grabbed Bakura's arm and dragged him away. "You're in big trouble this time, mister!"
"Bye, Bakura! Bye Bakura!" Anzu cried, waving like an idiot. "Thanks for being so charming!"
"Bye Anzu!" Bakura called back while being dragged away by his milder counterpart.
As the two "Bakuras" were walking off, the rest of the once deceased cast members came back.
"Ow, my head…" Honda moaned. "Hey, Jou! I found your body!"
"YAY!" Jou's head cheered.
"Aw…poor Katsuya…" Shizuka said as she picked up her brother's head. "You must have been through a lot…"
"You don't know the half of it…. Hey, Devlin. How was hell?"
"Shut up, Jounouchi…" Otogi said, obviously in a grouchy mood.
"Well, that's time I go running off in trash can armor chasing after crazy girls for a while! Are you alright, Nii-sama?" came the voice of obviously Mokuba.
"Uh…I think so…" Seto replied. "Considering that just a few hours ago we were trapped in the mansion being roasted alive…"
"KAIBA!" Anzu cried as she ran to Seto, bowling over Amelda and Varon in the process. "Oh, Kaiba! You're okay!"
"Hold on a sec…" Seto said as he stepped aside, letting Anzu fall to the ground. "You're going to kill me, then say you're happy I'm okay? I don't think so."
"Hey, I don't think she remembers all that, Nii-sama."
Seto stared at his younger brother. "Yeah, no stuff, Mokuba. I figured."
"Hey, let me help you up, Anzu!" Otogi said in his most charming tone of voice.
Anzu smacked his hand away. "Forget it. Why don't you just continue hitting on Shizuka, why don't you! Kaiba, will you help me up?"
"Uh…sure…I guess…." Seto replied hesitantly as he helped Anzu off of the ground.
Upon being lifted off of the ground, Anzu jumped in Seto's arms. "Will you take me home, Seto?" she said sweetly.
Oh god! She just called me "Seto"! Seto thought in shock. "Um…I…uh…"
Mokuba snickered. "Hah hah! Anzu's got a crush on Nii-sama!"
"But…but I thought you liked Yami…!" Seto stammered.
"I did! But he tried to kill me, so I don't like him anymore!" Anzu replied. "And besides…you're much cuter…!" With this, she kissed him on the cheek. "Did anyone ever tell you that you have beautiful blue eyes, Seto? And beautiful brown hair?"
"Argh!" Seto screamed as he dropped Anzu and ran off.
"Hey…wait! Come back, Handsome!" she shouted, getting off of the ground and chasing him. "Get back here, you hunka man, Seto Kaiba!"
"U…yah…wuz the deal…she's got blue eyes and brown hair like Nii-sama…" Mokuba thought out loud. "Wuz the deal with Nii-sama's eyes…? Agh…I'm never gonna understand girls…"
Just then, Yami Bakura came back. "Hey, where's Anzu?"
"Yah…you just missed her, Bakura. She just went chasing after my brother."
"Hey, check that out Bakura!" Ryou said, patting his yami on the back. "She fancies Kaiba! How's that for you?"
"Nooooooooooooooooooo!" Bakura whined. "I'm the one who rescued her from Battousai Anzu! And she's gonna run after Kaiba! Some gratitude!"
"Hey, you can't win 'em all, Bakura," Yami said walking up behind them. "You gotta lose sometime. Trust me. I learned that lesson the hard way." With this, he threw a dirty look at Raphael, who's back was turned so he didn't see it.
"At least things are back to normal…" Yugi said cheerfully. "Well…for the most part…(how could you, Anzu? I thought you liked me! And where's my Grandpa!)"
It's true, things were back to normal, for the most part. With Anzu-Battousai destroyed, everyone back to themselves again (for the most part), and with Jou getting his body back, and Yugi finding his grandfather hiding in the basement of the Kame Game Shop (which, by the way, was all that was left of it) everything was back to normal…but for how long…?
Yeah…I know…ending implies a sequel…and there will be, sort of! And it will probably be longer than 9 chapters. 9 just seems to be my number, huh? ("Point of View" has nine chaps…go figure).
I thought everything was kinda rushed in this chapter, but oh well.
But, the silly part, who woulda known it was that easy!
Yeah, there's gonna be a sequel of sorts. It's only a "sequel" because AZB (Anzu-Battousai) comes back, but…oh! Too many spoilers! (Oh, I despise spoilers with a passion…)
Anywho, I don't know what yer gonna think, this is a very long chapter for this fic, is it not?
Just review and tell me what you thought. Until next story (gosh, I never thought I would finish this! I've been on and off with this story). And thanks to Magicman/Smokegirl and silver-dagger-113, and anyone else who has reviewed this story from the beginning. I enjoy the reviews and I'm so glad that you've enjoyed this crazy story. Ja ne!