Important note:

Chapters 1-5 have been edited. There are small,not really significant changes. And if you're new to the story, you won't even notice the changes I made. But for those who aren't new to this story, I'm warning you in advance that there have been some changes. So, as not to get confused in later chapters or something, I recommend you re-read chapter one through five again. I checked this piece of work for eventual spelling/grammar mistakes, and I hope it has improved somewhat. If there are still mistakes (punctuation, grammar, spelling wise), I'm sorry. English is not my native language and I'm trying as hard as I can to make the story readable as well as enjoyable. Please, no flames...Lately, I've been feeling less and less confident about my work as a writer. To be honest...I think I suck. I'm not going to quit with writing, if that'swhat you guys are thinking if you read this. It's just...I feel like I have to live up to your expectations. And I feel that they are set too high. I know, I'm being ridiculous, right? I just read so many fanfics from talented authors. And when I look at their work, I see that they're so talented. And then I just can't help but feel I'm nowhere near as good enough. This is just my insecurity speaking, I know. I shouldn't compare myself to others. You don't have to tell me that, because I know and I'm not stupid. This is just something that has been on my mind lately. It's also one of the factors that influences my bad case of writer's block. I'm setting my standards too high at the moment, and the result is that my creativity is being blocked, and I just can't get a new chapter on paper because of it. It's difficult to explain.

Anywho...I'm rambling again. I bet I'm not the only author who has felt/feels like this, though...

Anyway, on to the story! Read and enjoy the improved( hopefully)Behind Cold Blue Eyes!


Revised: 21 July, 2005

Title: Behind Cold Blue Eyes

Date: 27 September, 2004

Written by: ChaosMagicianGirl

Edited by: LazerWulf

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! (Duh)

B/N:(Beta-Reader's Notes)

At the request of CMG, I am putting all names in English format. (Given Surname) rather than Japanese format (Surname Given).

Also, at her request, Shizuka's surname has been changed, to Kawai. Thanks to the people on YuGiOh's Shadow Realm: Message Board on ezboard. com for pointing this out.

While her name is Jonouchi in the first series, (The one un-aired in the US) her official name in "Duel Monsters" (the series that Americans know and love) is Kawai. This works better with what CMG wanted, anyway.



Hello peepz,

This is a new story I'm starting on, so I hope you like it and let me know what you think by dropping a review! I'm using the Japanese names of the characters in this story, not the dubbed names in the English version. The reason for that is because it fits better in my story plot overall. I also use some Japanese terms, so for the people who don't understand those, here's the translation.

Aishiteru - I love you

Konichiwa - Hello

Konbonwa - good evening

Ohayo - good morning

Sayonara - Good-bye

Gomen nasai - I beg your pardon?

Ashikarazu - I'm sorry

Ja-ne - See you later!

Demo - but

Honto - really

Hai - yes

Iie - no

Kami - God

Onii-chan (Nii-chan) - Brother (term of endearment)

Onei-chan (Nei-chan) - Sister (term of endearment)

Nandemonai - Easy!

Now on to the story! Enjoy!


Chapter 1: A letter from Nii-chan


A young teenage girl with long, auburn coloured hair and stunning emerald green eyes is sitting on her bed writing in a notebook. Her name: Shizuka Kawai.

Shizuka lives with her mother, Teana Kawai, in an apartment complex in New York City. Though she's only 15 years old, she's a senior at Twello High School. She's very slim, and has long legs, but her most noticeable features were probably her eyes. Because she was very pretty, it wasn't surprising, she got a lot of attention from the male population at her school. Maybe Shizuka was being too modest, but she didn't consider herself really pretty. She wondered what exactly the boys saw in her.

Shizuka is very nice and sweet to everybody(with the exception of a few people who influence her life daily). She believes that every one has a bit of good in their heart. That's why she could be considered naive sometimes, but the truth was otherwise.

If she gave a person her trust and they betrayed her, or misused that trust, she wouldn't have anything to do with that person anymore. Even if they would apologize to her a thousand times, she would not forgive them. She was just not built that way. It was pure and simple: betray her trust and she would act ice cold towards you from then on. She just couldn't live with herself if she knew that somebody she considered a friend betrayed her. She would always hold a grudge towards them. The base of friendship was, for her, honesty and trust. Break her unwritten rules and there was only one choice... OUT!

Shizuka has a very calm and mysterious demeanour about her. Although she is mostly outgoing, she is sometimes shy, and very hard to get to know, because she always keeps her feelings bottled up inside.

On the other hand, she is a very determined person, has a strong will, and stands up for what she believes in.

She is also extremely intelligent which explains why she is 3 grades ahead of her peers. She also has a private tutor, who teaches her things that even most seniors can't grasp. She needs this to stimulate her intellectually, because the classes she takes now are too easy for her.

It isn't that she slacks off; she just wants to be challenged. She's also no pushover and doesn't get angry very easily, but if she does, brace yourselves!

Her family, especially her brother, means the world to her. If you hurt them, you have to deal with her! She always puts other people before herself. Her family and friends always come first, no matter what the situation.

She is very concerned for the well-being of those around her, especially when they have problems. She's always willing to help. She's extremely helpful and considerate. Some people could take advantage of her helpful and caring nature.

Shizuka is a bit of a loner and doesn't really have any friends at school. It's not that she doesn't want friends, she just feels out of place at her school. She's not like the typical teen and far ahead of her classmates.

She's more mature than them and has different interests. She isn't busy with fashion, make-up or boys at all and so she is misunderstood by her peers. The fact that she is extremely bright isn't very helpful either.

She is seen as a know-it-all by people, and considered a snob because of her intelligence, although that isn't true. Most people are just jealous of her. Shizuka tries to remain optimistic, as it is her last year.

After graduation she plans to fulfil her dream: she wants to become a professional singer, bad eyesight or not! She already takes singing lessons and has played the piano since she was a little child. She is teaching herself to play the guitar and she writes her own songs.

She also likes sports, namely swimming, (she's on the school team) and she studies martial arts. She also takes dancing lessons.

Her favourite classes are English: a language complicated enough to hold her interest, biology: she finds it fascinating to know how the human body works, psychology: the ability to understand how the human mind works, and history: she loves to let her mind wonder to how it was in the past and how people lived then. She is also very good in math and science, but she didn't particularly like those subjects the best.

Shizuka's favourite food is Italian: spaghetti, lasagna, fettuccini, you name it! Her favorite snack is chocolate (she's an absolute chocoholic!) and her favourite drinks are diet coke and iced tea. Her favourite colours are black, pink, blue and yellow.

Her father is Jinsoku Jonouchi, and she also has an older brother named Katsuya Jonouchi, both of whom live in Japan.

Shizuka and her mother used to live in Japan, but when she was 5, her parents divorced, and her mother took her to live with her in America.

Shizuka still remembers that day as if were yesterday.

The divorce didn't come as a surprise, but the way it came was never expected.

For as long as she could remember, her parents always fought with each other. They never had a good marriage. One day the fight escalated to such a high point that her father struck her mother in rage. After that incident, her mother left, and took Shizuka with her.

She can still see the way her brother looked at her, when the car she was in sped away, never to return. She shed countless tears that day, and when the car rounded the corner, it was the last time she would see the face of her big brother for a long time.

Ten years have passed since then, and, although Shizuka hasn't seen her brother anymore, they still keep in touch via letters and email. She sometimes got to talk with him on MSN, but those times were short, due to the 13 hour time difference.

Shizuka has a unique bond with her brother and would do anything for him. She sincerely hopes that she would one day be able to see him again.

She still hasn't forgiven her mother for not taking Katsuya with her. Because of that, her brother lived in his own personal hell for ten years.

Her father turned to drinking after the divorce and started abusing him. She knew this, because Katsuya always spilt out his heart to her. Fortunately he had his friends in Japan to help him through those dark times and her. Had it not been for that, Katsuya might have not made it.

When he turned 16, he left their father and now he lived in his own rented apartment together with one of his best friends, Honda Hiroto.

She has bad eyesight and it further deteriorates the older she becomes. If she doesn't get treatment for it, she will eventually go blind.

She can still see though, although not much anymore. She wears very strong glasses when at home and contact lenses when at school or other places. Without her glasses or lenses, she could practically see nothing, only very blurry images and movement.

Shizuka had learned to live with the fact that she would lose her eyesight as she got older. It had been confirmed since she was but a few months old. The doctor's had diagnosed that her eyesight would get worse the older she became.

Even though she was used to it, Shizuka still felt sad sometimes and wept because she knew she would never be able to live like normal people could when she would be older and blind.

That's why she hoped her brother, who took part in Duelist Kingdom, a tournament organized by THE Pegasus J. Crawford, would win the prize money so they could pay for a treatment to restore her eye sight.


"Shizuka! Breakfast is ready!" a voice from downstairs in the kitchen called up.

Shizuka perked up at the sound of her mother's voice. She had been so engrossed in writing down the latest lyrics of her new song, that she hadn't noticed her mother had been calling her for the last few minutes.

She wrote down a few more lines, before closing her notebook and putting it in her backpack, while replying to her mother: "Coming! Just a few minutes! I still need to get dressed!"

"You still need to get dressed? But you've got to leave in twenty minutes! School starts at 8.30 and the school bus leaves at eight!" her mother replied back in a bewildered voice, wondering why her daughter wasn't getting ready for school.

"Ashikarazu!" Shizuka yelled back.

Shizuka's mother just smiled at her daughter's antics while continuing to set the table for breakfast.

That was typically Shizuka, always busy with her music.

Shizuka got up from her bed in a hurry when she found out what time it was.

"Kami-sama! Why do I always lose track of time when I'm engrossed in something?" Shizuka breathlessly exclaimed, while making a mad dash for her closet, in which her clothes were kept.

She hurriedly picked out something to wear. She flung out a denim miniskirt and an of-shoulder top which was short enough to show her midriff.

For a few moments she stared at her choice of clothing. Her mother had bought her those clothes a while ago and thought they looked great on her.

But Shizuka knew she wasn't a type for sexy clothing at all. She just didn't feel comfortable in these kind of clothes.

Oh well, they'll have to do. I don't have time to find something else, she thought to herself.

She picked up the clothes and hurried into the bathroom to take a shower. She turned on the warm water, shed her clothes, and stepped into the shower cabin.

After about five minutes she came out again. She took the towel and began drying her hair. She walked over to the sink, and opened the cabinet under it, to take out her toothbrush and hairbrush.

She brushed her teeth for a few minutes and then picked up the hairbrush , to begin combing her hair. She tied up her hair into two pigtails and let a few bangs hang loose. She tucked back her reddish brown strands behind her ears and put her accessories back into the cabinet.

She walked out of the bathroom and checked the clock in her room to see that she had only ten minutes left. She hurried over to her bed, took her backpack, stuffed the rest of her school stuff in the bag and raced out of her room downstairs to the kitchen where her mother was waiting for her with breakfast.


Meanwhile in the kitchen...

Shizuka's mother was sitting at the kitchen table, reading the newspaper, with a cup of strong coffee in front of her, when Shizuka entered the kitchen in a hurry.

She looked up from her newspaper and greeted her daughter with a smile.

"Ohayo, sweetheart. I see you finally decided to join me?" her mother commented in a mocking tone of voice.

"Ohayo to you, too, Mom," Shizuka greeted her mother while rolling her eyes at her mom's statement.

She walked over to the refrigerator, opened it and took out a diet coke.

Shizuka's mother sighed at what she saw.

"Shizuka! Honto! Can't you drink something healthy for a change?" her mother asked her, an annoyed frown visible on her face.

Shizuka turned around to face her mother with an innocent smile.

"Iie! Can't do! It just tastes too good!"

"Nandemonai! I give up! You'll never change...," her mother said to her while putting up her hands as a sign of defeat.

Shizuka smiled a victory smirk.

"I guess that means, I win!" she replied cheerfully while walking over to her mother and giving her a peck on the cheek.

"I'm off to school, mom. Ja-ne!" Shizuka said to her mother while slinging her school bag over her shoulder and leaving the kitchen.

"Demo……," her mother started, but was cut off by Shizuka yelling from the hallway: "Hai, I know! I'll grab something to eat on the way!"

After that the front door could be heard slamming shut.

Shizuka's mother was left with a face of surprise while wondering if her daughter could read someone's thoughts...


Shizuka walked from the doorway over the stone path of their front porch towards the mailbox.

She had almost forgotten that Monday's were usually when her weekly letter from her brother in Japan arrived.

She took out the mail and started to search through it for the letter she wanted. After searching through a few letters she had in her hand, she finally found it.

Smiling, she took out the letter, with her brother's clearly distinguishable sloppy and messy handwriting. She could recognize that chicken scratch anywhere.

She put the rest of the mail back in the mail box, (her mother would get it later, anyway) folded the letter neatly, and put it in her pocket. She wanted to read it when she was on the bus.

She started her walk over to the bus stop on the end of her street, where she would take the bus to Twello High. She walked in a fast pace, because she didn't know if she would make it in time.

Fortunately, she spotted the bus parked at the end of the street while people were getting in. She ran all the way over there and made it just as the doors closed with a whoosh behind her.

The bus driver smirked at her from his seat while saying: "Well, Miss, it seems you made it just in time."

"Yes... I did...," Shizuka replied, a bit out of breath from her sprint, while showing her bus card to the driver.

He acknowledged it, and Shizuka made her way to the back of the bus, dropping down in her usual seat.

The bus driver started up the engines and the bus drove off towards it's destination; Twello high.

Shizuka took out the letter she had stuffed in her pocket, a while ago, unfolded it and began to read.

It caused a huge smile to settle down on her face.

Dear Shizuka,

How are you doing, Nei-chan?

I hope well. Ashikarazu, that I haven't written to you sooner, but I had no time to write while I participated in Duellist Kingdom.

So much has happened, but I will tell you that when you come here. Now, you may be asking yourself "Me? Come to Japan? eh?"

Well, I've got great news for you!

I may not have won the tournament, my best pal Yugi did, but he gave me the prize money, so you could get that operation to restore your eye-sight!

Isn't that absolutely fabulous?

And that's not all! There's enough money for your operation, and a plane ticket to Japan! I can finally see you in person again after all these years!

That's why I wanted to ask you to move in with me here in Japan.

I've gotten my own apartment with Honda and don't live with Dad anymore.

Mom's gotta let you go, especially since we have the money to cure your illness, and the operation can only be performed here in Japan.

Oh man, sis, I can't wait to hear from you!

I really hope that Teana will agree to let you come to Japan, so I can finally see you again, and you can finally meet my awesome friends!

I've told them so much about you and they can't wait to meet you!

I could scribble on for hours about how happy I am right now, but that would be no use, so I'm letting you go with a last note:



Your Nii-chan,


P.S. Let me know as soon as possible if Teana agrees to let you come. And if she doesn't let you go...

Well, then I'm going to get you personally. Even if I have to buy a plane ticket to America myself to drag you away from there.


Authoress's Notes (A/N):

Well, here's chapter one! Not much action for now, but I'll get to that once the story progresses! Hope you like it, though, and R and R, please!

Well, uhm, until next time!

Catch ya later,

ChaosMagicianGirl (my new name)