Title: What you mean to me.

Author: electricgurl

email: see profile

Disclaime: i don't own Buffy the vampire Slayer...wish I did but I don't

Rating: PG.

Paring: Spuffy (I hope)

Timeline: Sixth season?

Summary: Discovering true feelings and relationships...

Copyright 2004 Amelia Coombes AKA: electricgurl


When you step into the room I am in love again. I thought I could forget you, but I haven't, I can't. You are my everything, my body and soul. You were always on my mind. You still are the only thing I think about.

Until the end of the world I will be yours. Your protector, your lover, your vampire, yours for now and always. It hurts to be rejected by you when I know that all I want to do is kiss you and be loved by you.

I see the pain you are in and I wish I could help you, but you don't want me to close to you. I am the odd one out and it shows.

For you I am just another person...no, scratch that I am just another monster. Someone for you to beat up and use.

But not anymore. I have finally given up. I don't care anymore. If you are going to misuse me, then I won't be around to be abused.

That it that...William the Bloody has spoken; tonight I leave.

I leave the Hellmouth.

Sunnyhell, and you behind me.

I just hope I am strong enough to stay away.


When you step into the room I'm terribly confused. I thought I could forget about you, but I haven't...I can't. you are everything to me...even if I don't want to admit it...because you are...my everything. Everything I hate, yet you are also everything I love. I wish I could understand what is going on.

Every minute we are together caused me pain. But every second we are apart causes me agony. I don't want to think what I would do without you, I just hope that you can wait for me.

You don't know it, but you mean everything to me. I don't know when or how this happen. I just know it did. You became everything, my demon, my life, my lover, my everything. You are the water I drink and the air I breath. The food I eat and my strength for the long painful nights in this hell.

You are the darkness that I need for my life. In the light. You keep me grounded and real. You were there for me when the others thought I was fine. When my friends brought me back you were there to comfort me and help me back and for that I owe you everything.

You're my rock, my stars, my moon. I just wish I could show you how much you mean to me.

I use and abuse you because I am too afraid to let you get to close. What would happen if I let you in? In to my life and soul. Would I regret it? or would it be the best thing in my whole life? I smile to myself and grab my jacket.

It's time to show you just how much Buffy Anne Summers loves you.

I hope that this time I can go thought with it.


Spike tossed what was left of his clothes into the open bags on his bed. He was gone. From this town and the damn slayer. He growled when he found the pair of pants she had left here weeks ago. With a snare he tossed them towards the nearest candle. The object was knocked over and began to burn. He stopped and watched it. Just like her it burnt to be with her. He sighed. He better hurry before he changed his Nancy-boy mind and stayed. Grabbing his bag he sighed as he zippered it up and looked around.

It hurt leaving what had been his home for almost two years. He bit his lip then growled, another reason to leave. He had overstayed his visit...by two years. He moved upstairs and froze at the sight in front of him. The reason for his leaving.

Buffy Anne Summers. And she was crying.


Buffy had never ran so fast then she did as she tried to reach Spike's crypt before she changed her mind. She knew that everything would be okay once she got to him. He would willingly take her and they could live happily ever after.

She laughed at her childish acting. She paused as she reached his graveyard. Was she really ready to face him? Ready to tell him how she felt? She took a deep breath and headed forward. She would have to be.

She stepped into his crypt and was surprised to find it empty. Frowning she stood stock still. Had he left town? Finally done with her. Without warning tears sprang to her eyes. He had left...just like the others had. Tears flowed down here cheeks. Then from the basement with a bag over his shoulder came the reason she was crying.

Spike...William the Bloody.


"Buffy?" He asked. "What's wrong Luv?" He moved forward as she continued crying again.

"You're leaving." She stated, and he winced.

"There's nothing here for me." She sniffled.

"What about me?" She asked.

"Huh?" He looked up at her confused. "What do you mean Buffy? You hate me," He reminded her. She shook her head. Hair flying every where.

"I don't hate you." She froze her eyes trailing up his body to meet his own. "I love you."

"Have a funny way of showing it," He stated and she nodded.

"And I'm sorry...oh so sorry...I just didn't want to let any one else in...Someone that could hurt me...love me, then leave me...like you are now..." Spike felt a pang of guilt.

"Buffy, Luv...please try and understand." She looked up at him.

"I get it." She said. "Everything I said, everything I have done. I don't deserve you. I love you but I don't deserve you," She smiled lightly at him. "I'll just be leaving now," She turned and opened the door. But before she could exit she was pushed roughly into the stone doorway.

"Say it again,"

"I don't deserve you."

"No, the other thing."

"What?" She was confused.

"The love bit." She smiled at him.

"I love you." She said. He grinned.


"I love you."


"I LOVE YOU!" She screamed. "LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU, LOVE Y-" Spike covered her mouth with his own pulling her into a deep kiss.

Breaking apart Spike kissed her forehead. "Love you too, pet." They smiled and turned walking out the door into their future.


Love it? Like it? Loathe it? Please let me know....