OH GOD! EVERYTHING IS SO BRIGHT AND COLD! SO FUCKING COLD! I couldn't tell if my eyes were open or not because everything is so fucking bright. I guess this is how it's like to be dead… bright and cold.

Soon everything seemed darker and I was finally able to open my eyes. I find myself standing in a forest of some sort, I really have no clue where the fuck I am… so I deicide to walk.

And walk.

And keep walking…

This scenery keeps going on forever.

"God, you're always working. You never have anytime to spend with me!" a whiny voice came from behind me, "You're so for your job! I wish there could be an us but it's not going to work with you working all the time. Good-bye Drake."

I turned around to face Angela my first girlfriend.

"Like hell no! I'm not gonna stay here if you're not going to even spend time with me. What's more important? Me or work?" another familiar voice came from beside me, "Don't even answer that because I already know the answer. I'm outta here Parker!"


"Drake! Do you even love me anymore? Cause you are sure doing a good job at ruining our relationship!" turning left there was Tanya, "Oh! You're such a jerk! I'm leaving!"

God, this is very cruel!

"That's so typical of you, Drake! Never say anything when you know that you can help the problem…" I could hear Amy's voice behind me, "I hate you so much. I don't know what I ever saw in you anyway! God, I must be really stupid."

Surrounded by the main girlfriends that I had… this isn't my ideal heaven. Looking at each face and remembering how each fight went down.

Then I heard the one that hit me the hardest. I heard the voice of the girl that I was ready to jump right in and marry… Nina.

"How could you? Bring a cat to win me over how stupid are you? What I needed was the affection from you! Not some stupid animal!" Nina pointed her accusing finger at me, "I can't believe you, Drake. Just think you wanted to marry me and I wanted to stay with you!"

I stared wide eyed at her, my mouth opening but nothing could come out as I stood there stunned… shocked and wanting to throw up. I wanted to run, run far away but having them surrounding me I couldn't get away.

"You're a prick!" Angela stepped closer.

"Asshole!" Michelle sneered.

"I can't believe you!" Tanya followed the other two toward me.

I'm backing up but I know that Amy's behind me… how the hell can I get away from this…? Why are you doing this to me God? I don't understand!

"SOMEBODY HELP ME!" I scream out at the top of my lungs and I fall… slipping into the darkness as it consumes my being.

I'm so lost…

Their mocking glares and glances soon fade away from me as all I can see is darkness once again. I've closed my eyes and just let myself slowly fall into the only think I now know… the only comfort I can have.

"I'm sorry… there's nothing more we can do. If he doesn't pull out of this we're going to have to let him go."

I can hear a voice… opening my eyes I can't see anything but the dark, where is this voice coming from? Why can I hear it?

"But Doc, you've got to be able to do something! This is a hospital!"


"It's only a hospital… they can only do so much…"


"I can't believe this. I don't want to be so close to saying good-bye!"


"I understand, doctor…"


That's you're voice I hear… you're still alive! But that must mean… JJ wasn't the one that got hurt… the one who has suffered; the one that is suffering is… me. I'm so glad that you are alive! JJ, you are alive… but wait, does this mean I'm not? I can't be with you anymore…

I can't hold you…

I can't touch you…

I can't love you…

JJ… I won't be able to see you again. Dropping down to my knees I collapse on the ground holding myself tightly and all I can do is cry. Cry like the pathetic human being that I am. I am worthless.

I mean nothing…


The room was silent besides the steady beeping of the monitor attached to Drake, of course JJ knew that sound was only there because of Drake's life support. Everyone has left deciding to give JJ some alone time with his partner; walking slowly over to the bed he placed his hand over Drake's pale and frozen fingers.

"What have I done to you…" he knelt down beside him, "Drake, this is entirely my fault… I was the one that asked the chief to use us instead of Dee and Ryo. I just wanted a reason to get closer to you without scaring you away."

A lump grew at the back off Jemmy's throat as he began to shake, sitting in the chair next to Drake's bed he began to lightly rock back and forth; staring down at the ground in shame like he was in a confession booth… telling the father about all his sins.

"I always end up the one hurting people… I'm sorry… senpai. I didn't mean for all this to happen! I swear it!" the steady stream of salty tears began to fall from sapphire eyes, "If only I knew… I wouldn't have kissed you on the roof that day… if only I knew that I'd lose you I wouldn't have made you go that far! I'm sorry! I just want you to forgive me Drake! I hate myself…"

Slowly lifting his head he looked over at Drake and wiped his own tears… standing up carefully he leaned over and kissed his partner's forehead… a new tear splashing down on Drake's face as JJ whispered, "Thanks for loving me…"

Walking back in the doctor walked over to Drake's life support machine and looked over at JJ, who was being glomped to death by a very worried Ryo… Dee was looking away and Ted was biting down hard on his bottom lip.

"Are you ready…?" the doctor's old creaky voice echoed over the steady beeping, "Now is the time… there will be no turning back from this."

"I'm sure…" JJ placed his hand on Ryo's arms that were wrapped around his shoulders, "I don't want to see Drake suffer any longer."

Everyone held their breath… closing his eyes JJ didn't want to see the cord come unplugged. He listened to the steady beat come a long last noise that seemed to burn the inside of his ears and his heart.

Pulling Ryo's arms closer around him as he felt himself dying inside; this was it… this was the end of his partner. Drake Parker from this moment on ceased to exist only to be remembered and talked about in past tense. Ugh, how JJ truly hated the past tense.

Beep... Beep… Beep… a steady noise began to fell the room. JJ sighed, now he was hearing things… how badly he was going to miss Drake was already infecting his mind. Opening his eyes slowly he could feel the colour draining from his face as he looked over and stared at the moving line on the heart monitor… Drake was breathing on his own.

((Six months later…))

A ball of crumpled newspaper went flying across the room and managed to beam me on the head. The younger man that had thrown the ball was now holding his mouth trying not to giggle too loudly. Getting up from my work on trying to hook up the new stereo system I pounced toward the younger man and pinned him underneath me, looking down I smiled at my prey.

"Hey!" JJ struggled under my weight on top of him, "You big bully… get off of me!"

"Oh… you asked for it… and I was going to left you off easy for throwing that paper but, that bully thing just added to your punishment." I kissed the younger man's lips ever so gently, "Calling an officer a bully? There's a fine for that."

"Oh… there is? And just what would I have to pay you?" JJ smiled as he finally freed his hands and began to run them threw my hair.

"Oh… as if you don't know, smart ass." I couldn't help but smirked, "Or should I say cute ass?"

It has been six months since I made my full recovery, six months since JJ and I have begun to work even closer than just partners, friends… as of today I've moved in with him. Of course, I'm loving every minute of it.

"Do I really…?" his playful tone was so teasing even though I've heard it a million times it only gets better, "I think you need to refresh my memories… officer."

Smiling I got off of him and pulled him to his feet picking him up bridal style, I walked toward our bedroom… kicking the door shut behind me.



Hello! It's just me; Neko-Rinny wanting to thanks everyone for reading my story! Yay! glomps everyone and latches herself onto readers legs Thank you all so much! Sadly enough this is the end of One Try and let me tell you… it took me long enough. So I hope you like it… I'm actually proud of myself this is my first COMPLETED fanfic ever! does Neko-Rinny dance So I'll hopefully see you in the next fic… and don't forget to review!

See ya! waves