by Myka
A/N: OoTP spoilers.

He had tried to stay calm; he told himself continuously that he was okay. Even though there was a particular tinge on a corner of his mind and on the top of his chest.

He tried to stay calm as he held Harry back, but in the end his voice had broken and he hadn't had the strength to chase after Harry when the boy broke from his grip and ran after Bellatrix. He doesn't remember much after that, except fighting and taking careless risks until there was no one else to point his wand at, no one else to fight.

There was a buzzing in his ears; he glanced around for a second until his eyes fixed on the arch. Something rose on his chest, he didn't remember walking, but suddenly the arch was very close, almost close enough to touch. His arm rose towards it and his hand was trembling. His fingers grazed the rough stone wall. Another step.

Then something grabbed him, spun him around. For a second he thought he was going to scream, but he didn't. He just stood there, his eyes had watered, but he still didn't cry.

"Remus, are you ok?" said a concern voice.

He couldn't speak, because if he opened his mouth he would break. He spared one last look at the arch and it's already unmoving veil.


He just nodded then walked away from the arch.