Don't Suffer From It – Enjoy Insanity

"Why do I always attract the psychos…?"

Ryou turned a disbelieving gaze towards Malik. "You! What about me? If you'll recall, Bakura and Marik used to work together, and you were a wandering spirit, while I was stuck sharing a body with a bad-tempered, homicidal thief."

Malik snorted. "Oh, I see how it is. Before you got together, he was a bad-tempered, homicidal thief; now that you're dating him he's a – what did you call him the other day? – sexy, irresistible thief."

Blushing profusely, Ryou stammered, "Oh, like you don't feel the same way about your dark."

Malik sighed and turned back to watch the fight. "Normally, but not when he's fighting with yours. What are they fighting about, anyway? They're using old Egyptian, and it's a dialect I'm not familiar with; I'm only getting about one word in ten."

Bakura and Marik chose this moment to break off their fighting and turn to their lights. "We're fighting about sex," Marik said, blunt and tactless as always.

Not that Bakura was much better. "Specifically, him and me having sex."

Both Ryou and Malik's jaws dropped.

"You cannot be serious," Ryou sputtered. "You two have some nerve – talking about cheating on me and Malik right in front of us."

Sensing – and wanting to avoid – an impending bitchfit, Bakura put up his hands in a 'stop' gesture. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, who said anything about cheating? We were talking about swapping partners."

"And you don't think we deserve to have a say in this?" Malik asked caustically.

Marik snorted. "Oh, please, Malik, I've seen how you look at Ryou when you think no one's looking."

Malik's blush was matched by Ryou's as Bakura said, "And I've seen the way you look at Ishtar, Ryou – both of them – so don't even try to deny it."

"I…I…huh?" Ryou finally gasped.

He was echoed by Malik's utterance, "Ditto?"

Reigning in his impatience, Marik let out a sigh and said, "What we were discussing was having a foursome…"

"…no, you wanted a foursome, psycho, but I don't want you anywhere near my hikari," Bakura broke in. "Malik is one thing, but you like playing with the blade in your Rod way too much for my liking."

"Pot. Kettle. Black," Marik hissed.

"What?" Malik asked, turning curious eyes to Ryou, who just looked confused.

"I don't know what he's talking about," Ryou said, looking thoroughly bewildered.

"Oh, please," Marik said. Striding over to Ryou and yanking his shirt open, he revealed several hickies, some of which were obviously bite marks. Ryou flushed underneath the scrutiny, but stood his ground.

"I'm not the only one who likes blood, tomb-raider," Marik chided. "And what makes you think I'd do anything more to Ryou than you have, huh?"

"He's a very conscientious lover," Malik defended his other, flushing when he realized that he'd actually sounded like he was supporting this…insanity their two yamis had cooked up.

"Look, we're getting off-track here," Ryou spoke up, skin tingling with the nearness of the three other men in the room. "You two can talk all you want about partner-swapping, but you can't do anything without us going along with it."

"And why should we?" Malik took up where Ryou left off. "One night where we all have sex with each other and then act as if nothing happened? It'd completely throw off the balance of our friendships; things change once you've seen someone naked."

"Who said anything about one night?" Bakura replied.

Malik and Ryou exchanged looks.

"I…" Ryou started.

"Do you think…?" Malik continued.

"A relationship?" Ryou asked. "Between the four of us?"

"All four of us?" Malik clarified.

"It could work," Ryou said reluctantly. "I mean, we're already friends; I'm closer to you than anyone except Bakura…"

"Just like those two are with anyone except us," Malik agreed. "But that just means it might work between you and me, and those two…maybe… But what about the other pairings?" Malik asked.

Glancing obliquely at Marik and shivering at the undisguised lust in the other's eyes, Ryou mumbled, "I don't think that'll be a problem."

Looking over at Bakura, Malik gulped at the similar expression on the thief's face and agreed, "Yeah, I think you're right."

"So it's settled?" Marik asked. "We're gonna try it?"

"Yeah, I think so," Malik admitted, shooting Ryou a sidelong look.

Ryou, for his part, just sighed and nodded. "Might as well," he groused, though there was a smile on his lips.

"Score!" Bakura yelled happily, before grabbing Marik and pulling the other yami into a bruising kiss.

Focusing their eyes on their darks, the two lights watched with avid interest the fight of dominance that was taking place on the Ishtar's couch.

"Damn, they're hot," Malik said, surreptitiously adjusting his growing erection through his jeans.

"Mm-hm," Ryou agreed. Breathing hitching in arousal, he hissed, "What was that you were saying about attracting psychos, 'Li?"

"Huh?" Malik asked vaguely, not having enough working brain cells to understand what his friend – and soon-to-be lover – was getting at.

"Now we each have two psychos that are attracted to us," Ryou pointed out. "The insanity will be growing exponentially, I'm sure."

Malik's response was short, succinct, and to the point: "Fuck."

Unnoticed by either of their lights, Marik and Bakura had paused their make-out session and were now watching them – and grinning at their flushed countenances.

"Yes, Malik…Ryou," Marik purred. "That sounds like a good idea to me."

Bakura nodded in wordless agreement, yanking his light over so he was laying half-across both him and Marik. The Egyptian yami did the same with Malik, and then they set about proving to their other halves that sometimes having more than one partner in bed could indeed be very good. Especially if two of those partners were psychotic Egyptian spirits.

Mind-links only went between yami and hikari, and vice versa, but when Bakura began kissing Malik, and Marik Ryou, both lights were thinking the exact same thing:

Maybe sanity was overrated.