Title: The Goldfish Part 1

Rating: PG

Pairings: None really, maybe hints of a 25...but it is just hints

Warnings: None

Spoilers: Not really

Disclaimers: I don't own them, and I make no money from them. So please, don't sue me!

Author's Notes: Another small spoofy/cute fic that comes from the endless pit of my mind. This one is set about a year after EW, although no mentioning of any specific events so not to ruin it for anyone who hasn't seen it. As always, feedback is adored and worshipped!

"Duo, it is all right if you want to share your story with us." A large, round lady sat in a desk that was too small for her overly-large stomach, glasses perched on her pointed nose. Across from her, in an odd form of a circle, was Duo, who was unsuccessfully trying to hide his shame in being at the 'Wartime Survivor society' meeting. His face, which was completely red, was towards the ground as he tried to come up with something believable without going too deep into his past.

"I was a mobile suit pilot..." Before he could finish the sentence, he heard about twelve "aahh's" and "I see's" from the other group members. Duo frowned, but continued on. "I killed a lot of people..." More noises from the peanut gallery, although they were more along the lines of "poor boy," and "that's so sad."

When Duo didn't elaborate or continue, the large woman cleared her throat and motioned with her hand for Duo to keep talking. "Please, Duo, tell us about it." Her voice, meant to be calming and soothing, was beginning to grate on his nerves and he was wondering for the millionth time why he let Une talk him into this.

"That's about it, actually!" Duo said, practically bouncing in his seat with one of his trademark grins on his face. When everyone else in the group just stared at him with open mouths, Duo just shrugged and crossed one leg over the other and leaned his head back on the chair.

"A-A-Are y-you sure there is nothing else you want to say about it? Are there no memories that you wish to get off your chest?" Okay, the woman was really starting to bug him...

"Not really. Someone told me, though, that there is a certain waiting period until you can successfully have an intimate relationship with someone else. Is this true?" The woman, now under Duo's full scrutiny as he stared at her through violet eyes, gulped noticeably.

"Well, yes, Duo, that is somewhat true." Duo raised an eyebrow and crossed both arms over his chest, waiting for the woman to tell the rest. Apparently, this was what half of the other members of the group were waiting for, as well, because they all seemed to perk up a little and watch the woman intensely.

"You see, not every person is the same when they deal with the stress of war. Some people are able to cope rather easily, while others sit and stew in their own guilt for many many days or weeks or years." The woman gulped again. "The rule of thumb is: If you can keep a goldfish alive for six months, and still remain in good contact with your friends and/or family while keeping the goldfish alive, you are ready to have the beginning stages of a relationship."

Duo nodded, as did the other members of the group, and then he stood up, much to the surprise of the lady. "Are you going somewhere, Duo?" She asked, sniffing loudly. Duo shrugged, nodding.

"Yeah, apparently I am." With that, he left the building, which was nothing more than an old barbershop, and he walked the three blocks to his apartment that he shared with the other four pilots.

Once inside, he waltzed into the kitchen where Wufei just happened to be. Wufei, who was sitting at the kitchen table reading a novel, looked up at his braided friend and raised a delicate eyebrow.

"Did you need something, Duo?" Duo, who was busy rummaging through one of the cabinets, just mumbled something while shuffling all of the papers in the carefully organized shelving. Wufei cringed as the work he put into organizing that cupboard just went down the drain.

"AHA! Here it is!" Duo, who was practically inside the cabinet, climbed carefully out and held up the phonebook triumphantly. Wufei eyed the phonebook before glancing at Duo with a quizzical expression on his face.

"And you would be calling who at this time of night?" Wufei asked, unable to keep his curiosity at bay. Duo glanced at the clock, and his face fell considerably before it perked up again.

"I was going to call some pet stores to see if they sell goldfish, but I guess I should wait until tomorrow, huh?" Wufei only raised an eyebrow.

"That would be wise, since most businesses are closed at this time of night." Duo seemed to think for a moment before his face lit up, and Wufei inwardly cringed at whatever idea just came into the braided baka's head.

Duo grabbed the nearest chair and turned it backwards so he could rest his chin on the back, facing Wufei. "Well, then, since I can't call the pet places to see if they have goldfish, why don't you come with me to pick one out? It will be lots of fun and I'll even buy you lunch." The hopeful look on Duo's face was too much to take, and Wufei found himself agreeing to go out first thing in the morning to find Duo his goldfish.