Forgotten Memories, Painful Past


Summary: The loss of his god father made the sixth year at Hogwarts seem pointless to Harry. It was too much, and the depression he'd been fighting back finally wins over. When he's forced to return, he finds that Professor Snape is as cruel as ever. But, now, their new defense teacher is just as difficult? Professor Sullivan and Professor Snape seem to have some sort of a past that none of the students can figure out, but neither of them are willing to discuss or resolve it. With two new students entering half-way through the year and the underground battle with Voldemort raging, everyone is feeling stretched beyond there limits. When Harry goes missing, the only question left is who will shatter? Harry? Hermione? Severus? Katya? Or even Dumbledore? No slash of any kind, just good old het. romance. Please R&R.

Forgotten Memories, Painful Past

Disclaimer: I don't own it... Sorry guys. Wish I did...

Chapter One


Severus frowned, term would be starting again tomorrow. Albus had told him about Harry. He closed his eyes in silent recollection. Those words, words he never thought he'd hear; or rather, words he never thought he'd hear about Harry. It felt like Harry had taken the thoughts and feelings Severus himself had buried long ago and acted upon them. It shocked him that the boy-wonder and he actually shared some experiences in common. It was all because of Sirius. He had pushed Severus to the edge during his adolescent years as well, but not in the same way. Snape had expected Harry to take Sirius's death hard, but not quite so hard.

Severus continued brewing the potion before him in silence, allowing his mind to wander as his body autonomously went through the required steps to complete the potion. James and Sirius have been killed now, by Him. Snape shivered, remembering the Dark Lord's power. The two Gryffindors, who had been his tormentors during his time here, who had been Harry's closest family, were both dead. And Lily. He cleared his throat and went to collect a vial. Don't think about Lily. Thoughts of Lily bring on thoughts of Her. Shaking his head, Severus poured the potent liquid in to the vial and marked it accordingly. After placing it meticulously in its proper alphabetical spot, he decided todeliver it to Dumbledore after lunch.

- -

Severus anxiously struggled to swallow the foul brew as he tipped his cup back. His mind reminisced of the one person who knew how to add a sweet taste to this potion. He missed her for a moment. The potion was a simple awakening brew to combat the dreamless draught he'd taken the night before, except it tasted as awful as ever. Every morning he was forced awake by the stench and foul taste of the brew. It caused him to remember her again. There was something she'd always added that made it taste like honey and peaches. It had been wonderful, incomparable to the thick horrendous liquid that was currently violating his throat.

"Severus?" The familiar face framed with salt and pepper hair appeared in his office doorway.

"Minerva?" He regarded the Transfiguration teacher with curiosity, she rarely ventured down to his dungeons.

She smiled politely as her wise eyes scanned the room. "Albus will be introducing the new Defense teacher shortly. He'd like the entire staff present." She finally locked her eyes on his, "That includes you."

Nodding sourly, Severus stood. "I'll be there." Her eyes watched him a moment longer, understanding his discontent. As he pulled on his dark cloak, Snape locked his office behind him. Minerva, the name suited her. He wondered if she realized that Minerva was the Roman Goddess of Wisdom. Allowing himself a half-smile in the privacy of his own classroom, he walked up the stairs. He didn't give a damn who'd taken the position, it wasn't his and that was all that mattered.

- -

Albus Dumbledore, the Headmaster at Hogwarts, stood in the faculty room and smiled at all the familiar faces. The visages of Fillius, Minerva and Poppy, among others, were visible across the room. Where was he? Dumbledore frowned. The only man who this announcement would truly affect was not in attendance. Unfortunately, it didn't take a wizard to notice his colleges' unrest.

Finally, the dark cloak of the Potion's Master became visible in the back of the room. He looked rather displeased, as Albus had expected. "I've gathered you all here to introduce our new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor. I would like you all to welcome Professor Raine Sullivan."

The door beside him opened and in walked a woman a bit taller than Minerva. She slid the hood off her cloak to reveal her long red hair, tousled from the trip no doubt. Smiling down at him; she radiated vivacity, something that would come in handy when teaching a class full of rambunctious teens about dark magic. Several professors nodded their approval; some even recognized her. The Potion's Master went pallid and a life-granting breath caught in his throat. 'For the love of all that is magical... It was Her.' He shook his head, it wasn't Lily, it was Katya. That was even worse. Severus took notice of how time had changed her. When she removed her cloak entirely, he noticed the freckle on her collar bone. There is was. It was definitely Katya. At a young age, Lily and Katya had looked very much alike. Except for that freckle, a glamour charm or two could hid all their differences. Now, time had aged Katya and death had preserved sweet Lily, ever young.

"Thank you Albus, I'm pleased to be back at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." There was the other difference, her accent. Katya's mother was Russian, leaving her with the accent. Her full name was Ekatarina Raine Sullivan. When she was at Hogwarts, she went by Katya. Now it seemed she went by Raine, Severus scowled. He didn't care. She'd been gone from his life for ages.

"Welcome Miss Sullivan," several teachers greeted her, Severus just slipped out.

- -

It must've been past three a.m. when he heard the knock on his office door. He should've been asleep, he should've taken his drought and gone to sleep... But he hadn't. "Enter." He didn't have to look up to see who it was, he could smell her perfume. Raspberries and vanilla. It was made from oils, her own concoction. It was the same perfume she'd worn when they'd attended school.

"Severus," Oh God, she'd said his name. "I hope you're not angry about my teaching here... I'll leave if you are..."

Damn her. She was always too polite. If he asked her to leave, he'd feel guilty (something the dark and dreary potions master was not allowed to do.) Sometimes he wondered if she really knew what she was doing when she played people like she did. "Katya," the named rolled of his tongue as if he'd said it a thousands times just today, "I'm fine with you teaching. I haven't seen or heard from you in eighteen years. You're presence here holds little importance to me."

He could tell she flinched. "You're so cold, Severus..." There was his name again. Her voice was a low soprano, soft enough to be called husky as she spoke to him. Damn her, damn her, damn her.

"For the love of all that is magical, please just leave, Katya." He finally looked up at her.

Those green eyes stared back at him, hurt. Damn her. She regarded his acerbic attitude with a warm smile. "I missed you."

That was it. Severus should've known he couldn't endure her presence. It was too much now. He stood up. "Obviously not enough to care," Severus vanished in to his personal chambers.

Raine stood there a moment, staring at the stone wall. Just like that, he was gone. A frown graced her rose-tinted lips. "I'm sorry, I didn't abandon you..."Her eyes stared firmly at the closed wall, he hadn't heard her. Her plea fell on stale air and she turned to leave the room. Hesitating for barely a moment, she was gone.

Tomorrow she'd be teaching. Tomorrow she'd meet the Boy Who Lived, or rather, the boy who tried to die. So much like Severus... He'd called her Katya. She wondered if he still remembered her from Hogwarts. Never mind it, she flung her bed curtains shut angrily. He wasn't the Severus she'd known. That vulnerable, fragile and warm boy... He was now a cold and stoic man she wanted nothing to do with. So cold... She shivered under her blankets.

End Chapter One