It might seem a bit insane, this first chapter, but I promise it's not all that weird as the story moves on...
Oh My God!
"I don't know what to do!" Harry shouted at the Dursleys.
They were complaining about his nightly dreams again!
"Try harder to think! We can't have you yelling and waking us up very bloody night!" Vernon bellowed.
"Fuck you!" Harry bit out and stormed outside the house.
He saw a swirl of black robes in the corner of his eyes. He turned to the biggreenbushes. They were almost the same colour as his eyes.
"Come out, come out Snape! I know you're there!" he said in a baby voice, the same voice Bellatrix Lestrange had used to him once. Althrough it was annoying, he couldn't help but use it.
There was no movement.
"As you wish," he said in an ice-cold voice and strode away towards the store not far away.
He began to sing softly.
"15 deatheaters killed by a tree, one little deatheater killed by pee, two little deatheaters got their head blown of, another 10 lost in the bottle up. One little snake fried by a wand, tell me, sing me the death eater rhyme."
He sniggered to himself. I'm going slowly insane. I might end up like Dumbledore. Now that's a scary thought! He thought with a shiver. He couldn't picture himself run around and offering people lemon drops and even eating them himself!
He began to sing another lyrics to the same tune.
"Five dirty teachers got fired in a row, one little teacher got beaten by a toad, two little teachers was to wasted to see, the one, the evil, the git of all, got posioned by his own flow!"
He laughed at the last line. With that he meant Snape of course.
The five teachers were Quirrell, Lockheart, Lupin, Moody and Umbridge.
The one beated by a toad was Trellawny because he got almost kicked out of school. The two wasted ones were Minerva and Hagrid.
"One mad man got choked on his own sweet candy," he added slightly out of tune as an after thought of Albus.
"Hello Mr Potter," said the store- keeper warily. He thought that Harry went to St Brutus.
"Hi," he grunted.
"What can I do for you?" the keeper asked and looked over to the onlydoor out.
"Two cigarette packets, one beer, five gum, one soda and one lighter," he said. He paid with money he had stolen from the Dursleys. They wouldn't notice anyway.
When he got out of the store he almost laughed aloud at an idea he got.
Perhaps I should dye my hair red. It would be cool. I'd be a Weasley! Butthat's not real cool. Fuck it. I want red hair! He thought.
He went to Miss Purples hair saloon. Ironicly he decided to dye his hair dark purple instead, it was a good colour mixed with his black hair. And he got a silver earring.
Yeah well, I better keep up my image as a bad ass, he thought when he took a look in the mirror to inspect his new look. Image compleate. He even had a skin jacket in black.
All for nothing, he thought, since he wasn't a real criminal.But he did look good in his black jeans.
He had taken a habit of stealing money to buy himself some new things this summer. It didn't matter now if he got caught. He couldn't disappoint Sirius anymore since he was dead so he could do whatever.
The school should see me now. I wonder what Malfoy would say, he mused.
"Yes?" he said.
"Do you like it?"
"You've done a good job with the hair," he assured and paid.
He had gotten yellow eyes. Like a werewolf. But that's not real cool either... ina way... He began to walk towards Privet Drive.
He once again turned around to see who had dared to speak to him.
It was two from Dudleys gang.
"Can I help you?" he said with manner but he was cold in his voice and expression.
"What the hell have you done to yourself?"
"You look good!"
Harry wasn't expecting that from them. But he was secretly pleased.
"So?" he said and turned around.
But the two of them followed him when he had hoped to be left along.
"Is it true, do you really attend to the criminal school?"
"St Brutus, he's at St Brutus," said the other boy.
"Yes I am, why? Is this leading some where or are you just trying to make some noncense chit-chat?"
"How is it there?"
"Fine," he said shortly.
"Have you killed someone or something? Why are you there?"
"Non of your business!" he growled.
He managed to shake them of him. Just in time. His owl Hedwig came and have him a letter. He unfolded it.
DO NOT SING! YOU'RE TERRIBLE!
He smiled slightly. There was no name but he recognized Snape's scrawl.
"It's not my voice you don't like it's the lyrics," he said aloud.
He knew that Snape could hear him. Therefore he began to sang a lyric that he was positive even made Snape blush. He sat down outside the front door to Privet Drive number 4and began to smoke. He took out his wand and played with it with his fingers. A bird flew by.
"Stupfy," he said lazily. The bird fell.
"Enervate," he said slowly.
Not far after he recived an owl for using magic. Yet again he was expelled and his wand was about to get snapped.
"Incendio," he said and watched the parchment go into flames.
"Potter! What the hell do you think you're doing?" said Snape's angry voice.
"Hello professor. I was wondering what it would take to make you show yourself. I'm thrilled to see you. Sit down! Cigg?"
"What's wrong with you?" Snape hissed.
"Nothing, bored I guess. Could you apparate away with my wand and hide it? I rather not have it back in two pieces when he Ministry is done with it."
Surprisingly Snape snatched his wand and disappeared. Harry sat compleatly relaxed when the Ministry workers arrived.
"Mr Potter. Your wand," a man said.
Harry made his eyes go wide and innocent.
"Excuse me?" he said.
"I want your wand."
"Why? Are you going to examinate it? I didn't know that there was such a thing!" said Harry and played dumb.
"You've used magic against the rules. I'll have to snap it for you."
"What? I haven't seen my wand all summer! My uncle locked it away I think. He's a muggle and doesn't like magic, see. I honestly don't know where it is! You can't snap my wand! I haven't used it!" he said and acted panicky.
He made a good job apparently. The Minsitry workers looked through the house before they left to talk with Fudge. Harry switched from panic face to an amused face when they left.
"Impressive Potter. You're very slytherish."
"I know Professor. But I'm not the only one," he said pointly without looking at Snape.
"I do think you sing terrible," the man said.
"Good. I don't want you to like it. I bet you jerked of violently when I sang the last song."
"Trying to be rebel Potter? With that look and everything you're more arrogant then ever," said Snape and ignored his earlier comment.
"I never thought of it as rebellian but I'm glad you pointed it out for me. But I won't hug you, I'm very careful with my reputation. And I wouldn't even think about destroying yours!" he said.
He got up and kissed the Professor on the cheek.
"Why spoil reputations when you can make rumours?" he whispered and disappeared into the house.
He knew the professor couldn't walk in there.
Ha! I got him there! He thought gleeful.
Now I have no idea of what to do. It's so fucking boring! My life sux! Not that that's anything new but come on! A wizard stuck in Privet Drive? The gods must be making fun of me!
He had done magic before because he wanted to know if he could pull the charade off when they came from the Ministry. He wanted to know if he was ready to manipulate the world with his acting skills or if he had to practise more. He gothis answer. He was ready. The problem now was to figure out what he wanted to do. Things had to change but he didn't know how he wanted the change yet. But then again, if he managed to make them underestimate him... think of him as an insane looner or something... well, it would only do him good...
He sank on to his bed with a groan of frustration. He couldn't even get kix out of teasing Dudley. It was alsogetting real irritating to see things in a shade of yellow so he threw away his lences and used non- coloured instead.
He looked at himself in a broken mirror.
"Not bad. I could be OK if I eat a bit more," he murmured.
He had already been taller. A lot taller. It was probably because he had stolen money to buy enough food to grow.
"Harry! You've got a visitor," his aunt thrilled in a false voice.
Someone from the order, he thought sourly.
He walked slowly downstairs. Make them wait, he thought.
"Oh shit..." he murmured.
"Hello Mr Potter! May I come in?" asked Cornelius Fudge and stepped inside without waiting for an answer.
"Who are you?" Vernon asked.
"I'm Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic. It's concerning your expulsion Mr Potter."
"Oh yeah?" he asked non-caring.
"Yes indeed. It's Ok and taken care of. Since you didn't have your wand we at the Ministry have decided that the case is closed."
"That's good," he said without any entusiasm.
"Indeed, yes, yes. But we, the Ministry have another matter to bring up."
"What's that?" he asked slowly.
He had noticed Fudges curiosity over his hair even if he didn't mention it.
"You're an orphan."
"Ok," he said lazily. It was obvious and everybody knew that, for god's sake!
"And you have your relatives here, but they're muggles."
"Oh yeah, I've noticed," he said dryly with a hint of sarcasm.
"The thing is, we need to assign a wizard or witch as your godfather or godmother to give you more protection."
"I'll tell you one thing... I ALREADY HAVE ONE!"
"You do?" said Fudge confused.
"I had. His name was Sirius Black but he's dead.I'm sure you've heard of him."
"Sirius Black, dead?"
"Sirius Black was innocent. Peter Pettigrew is alive, I told you that three years ago. I can swear under a truth potion if needed. A couple of months ago Sirius came to the Ministry to fight death eaters and save me. He fell through the veil and died. So I don't want to hear any fucking bullshit about a new guardian for me, understood?" he spat.
"Innocent?" Fudge repeated foolishly.
"Have I ever lied? Did I lie about Voldemort? NO! But you didn't believe me. I'm not insane and I'm speaking the truth. I have in the past, I do now. Got it?"
"Yes Mr Potter. Mr Black shall be cleared. Everyone will know, you'll get money and..."
"And you shall speak to Albus Dumbledore to get the whole story," Harry interrupted.
"Yes, yes. I'll be on my way. Good day, Harry."
Harry closed the door with a bang.
"Git!" he said out load.
First then he noticed the Dursleys. They stood and stared at him.
"What?" he growled.
"Was that the, your kinds Minister?"
"Yes it was. Englands Minister."
"But you treated him like..." Petunia didn't seem to find the word.
"An idiot? Disrespectful? Yes, he doesn't deserve my respect. And he is a compleat idiot. And I'm far much more important than he is. But he doesn't know that, yet."
"And he wont!" a drawling voice said.
"Ain't you lovely? A perfect impression of Malfoy. Why don't you come in and sit down Professor? Or did you just come for another kiss?" he said the last icily and turned to his professor.
"I'd better not come in. And as fast as you put a shoe on the school grounds you'll loose Gryffindor 50 point for that little display earlier!"
"Aww, you're so cruel!" he said.
"I heard what you and Fudge said."
"My misstake!" her murmured.
"You made a nice show."
"I'm flattered! Who would havethought that your cold heart could say something nice?" Harry almost sang.
"What's the matter with you Potter? Are you on something or is it simply that mutt's death that caused you brain damage?" Harry's eyes flashed into ice green. Not far away from Voldemort's raged look.
Snape actually took a step back.
"Why don't you just fuck off?" he said in a low voice.
Snape pulled out Harry's wand from his pocket and held it out. Harry snatched it. Snape turned around and left without another word.
"He's getting better," Harry mused and slammed the door for the second time.
He gave his relatives an evil look before he went back upstairs.