Alright, here's the SitRep. My situation has gone from bad, to worse, to screwed.

So I just got out of a fire-fight, and I hear footsteps, hurried footsteps. I mention this simply because the zombies shuffle, not walk. Of course, it coulda been an imp, so I wasn't in a REAL hurry to just waltz around the corner and see what's what. So I cautiously moved around the corner, finger on the trigger. I hugged the corner, but it was a right turn. I'm right handed, so instead of just leaning around it, I pretty much had to just jump into the hallway, which I did. And almost scared the piss out of our chaplain.

"Jesus man, I almost wasted you."

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't say that." he said.

"What? That I almost wasted you?"

"No, using the lord's name in vain."

"Whatever. What happened to first plat?"

"They were...attacked."


"I-i-it was...big! I-"

"Never mind. Here, let's go." I said, handing him the ten mil and the clips.

"I-I don't use violence!" he almost yelled.

"Well, then you better pray someone else comes along, 'cause you ain't hangin' with me." I said as I began to walk away.

"How can you just leave me here!"

"How can you refuse to defend yourself!"


So now I had a non-com, who probably didn't even know where the safety on that pistol was, following me. I REALLY hope he doesn't shoot me. As if that wasn't bad enough, our conversations were...awkward.

"Do you have a plan?" he asked.

"Yeah. We're gonna get the fuck outta here."


"I figure we just find an escape pod. Then we get picked-up...hopefully."

The awkward silence continued for several minutes as I headed in a random direction.

"So you wanna sing any songs or something?" he asked.

Now, I'm standin' there thinkin' what the fuck is wrong with this guy? But I decide to humor. I'm a nice guy like that.

"Devil went down to Georgia, he was lookin' for a soul to steal. He was in a bind, 'cause he was way behind, and he was-"

"How about another song?"

"Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the-"

"Never mind." he said.

I suddenly heard a heavy stomping noise. Like a bear or something. But I doubted there would be a bear in a fraggin' moon base. And then I saw it. It came around a corner, maybe a hundred meters in front of us. It was this big, muscular, bipedal, hunched-over...thing. But what I REALLY noticed was it's BIG, GAPPING, mouth. The chaplain guy just cowered behind me. He was helpful. So I started shooting it. I put a whole magazine into it. By this time it was only like, twenty-five yards away. So I started unloading with the shotgun. I could vaguely hear the chaplain saying...something. I was pumping that...thing fulla lead, but it wouldn't frickin' die! All of a sudden, the chaplain's words started gettin' louder, then the thing just stopped. What happened next was REALLY weird. And believe me, by now my standards are pretty high. The damn thing started to smoke, and then he just started to burn. But it was from the inside. It was kinda cool. I KNOW it wasn't causa me. So I pulled the chaplain to his feet.

"What the HELL did you do!" I asked as I shoved a couple more shells into the shotgun attachment (in my opinion, one of the finest accessories for the rifle).

"I-I just said the Lord's prayer."

"Hmmm, well it seems our friend didn't like that very much." I said, pointing over my shoulder to the smoking pile of demon.

Yeah, so I named'im. Deal with it. Tacking a name to'em makes it easier to deal with. So anyway, the bottom line is that these things don't like God. Interesting.