disclaimer- I do not own anything involving SC2 (except for one game, but that's neither here nor there). Namco has full legal rights and crud to SC2. Since this is a non-profit fanfic, I'm legal! (which means, of course, that no one would gain anything by suing me, unless you really want a pair of my pants, and you know I'd only give you the pair that has blue hair dye splattered on it)
And now, against their (and my) better judgement, and Illusory Studios (that's me!) do so present
CHAPTER ONE: LOOK OUT, LADIES!
The cavern tomb was dark and secluded, air stiff and oppressive and reeking of mold and decay. Steady breaths shifted the unmoving air, lungs gasping in what little breathable oxygen was left.
"Why? Why am I so damned?" a dark, hoarse voice of sorrow echoed in the barren stone walls. Metal clinked and scraped as something moved around in the darkness.
"Why must I be so alone?"
::You have me.:: a voice whispered in the something's head.
"Yes, but I want something, no, someone else. Someone to ease my pain, my suffering."
::Don't you love me? Don't I ease your pain? Let me ease you pain.::
"No. You would only make the pain worse."
::Let me try. Let me try to stop the suffering.::
"This is something," the form paused, "you cannot ease."
"You don't have boobs."
::Oh, for chrissakes, Seig! That's your soul-wrenching, heart-stabbing problem!?::
::Then walk out of the tomb, go to a bar and get yourself a hooker!::
"I shall do that!" The form struck a dramatic pose.
"I shall find myself a whore!"
SOULCALIBUR 2.5- WOMEN'S MASTER MODE
Nightmare strode purposefully from the dank crypt, Soul Edge slung over his shoulder. His free hand shielded his sensitive blue eyes from the glaring sun.
"It's been so long since we've seen the sun."
::Yes,:: Soul Edge said, ::yes it has. Damn bright, too.::
"No shit." Nightmare replied. He whipped out a pair of shades and donned them, looking exceptionally badass.
::The town shouldn't be far from here, a day's walk at most.::
"Then we shall walk!"
And they walked. And walked. And walked some more. Near sunset, no sign of a town in sight, Nightmare started to get a little edgy.
"A day's walk, eh Blinky?" he snarled.
::Don't call me Blinky, Seig!::
"Then why isn't there a town!?"
::The town is north of the crypt.::
::You went south.::
Two days had passed since Nightmare had left the tomb. His long, golden hair clung to the glistening film of sweat coating his flesh. Soul Edge's eye strained against the glaring sun. The desert cast eerie mirages to draw the pair towards certain death.
"Need... water." Nightmare gasped out. He pulled himself along, using Soul Edge like a walking stick.
::I see it! I see the town!:: Soul Edge yelled joyfully. Nightmare's eyese widened.
::There!:: The sword's eye pointed dead ahead. Nightmare leapt and charged, holding Soul Edge in both hands, towards the town.
"Happy birthday, Talim!" Xianghua cheered, tossing confetti all over. Ivy blew some colorful paper out of her hair, scowling at Xianghua. Talim's eyes glittered happily.
"So, now that you're eighteen, what would you like to do?" Taki asked, breasts flouncing about gratiutiously for how little she moved.
"I never thought about that." Talim said, eyes wide and innocent. Ivy gagged.
"Well, we'll have to do something about that." the whipstress quipped. The other girls looked at her, curious.
"Huh? Fix what?" Talim asked.
"That cute, innocent crap. You need to get laid." Talim's eyes went wide. Taki and Xianghua nodded approvingly.
"She's just the right age, too." Xianghua said.
"I'm sure we'll find a nice guy at the bar downtown who'd be willing." Taki added, rack trying to escape the confines of her shirt.
"All right, it's settled!" Ivy proclaimed, leaping from her chair. "Today, Talim gets laid."
And with that, Talim was whisked away for a day of booze, merriment and sweet, hot lovin'.
A gaggle of girls swarmed around a table near the back, all of them prostrating themselves very suggestively. A glove-covered hand rose above the ladies' heads.
"Oh, barkeep! My friends are quite parched. Could you bring us some refreshments?" a slightly cocky male voice spoke. The girls giggled and blushed, moving to clear the table. The barkeep came over and sat down a pitcher of ale and several mugs. The same hand deposited several coins in the barkeep's hand. He walked off and went back behind the counter.
"Oh," one luscious young woman said, "you are too kind, mister Sorel.""Please, my dear. Call me Raphael." he said, stroking her cheek with the back of his hand. The girl swooned on the verge of ectasy, fanning herself.
Seated at the bar, Yoshimitsu frowned behind his grinning white mask. He dropped his ale and bowed his head.
"Damn Frenchie. He makes it so hard for us to get women. Doesn't he, Voldo?" he asked, nudging Voldo with his elbow.
"Hissss." (read: Yep) Voldo hissed.
"Between Raph, Yunsung and Maxi, we just don't stand a chance."
"Hiss." (Nope) Voldo pulled a strap of cloth out of his mouth and downed a shot of whiskey, bringing the small glass down on the counter hard. The barkeep glared at him. Voldo took no notice of his ill-favored glare. He promptly had another shot poured by Yoshi.
"Maybe there's something we haven't thought of. Something those three have figured out." Yoshimitsu pondered. Voldo did ponder with him. Indeed, the two pondered themselves into a deep trance, one so deep that they forgot about the mass orgy going on at Sorel's table. That, and the terrified screams issuing from outside the bar, the bar door flying in tiny splinters up to the front and shattering several mirrors and bottles of liquor.
The barkeep did swear heavily.
"Need more... fluids!" Yoshi blinked and snapped out of his thoughts.
"That voice, so familiar. Indeed, so is that line." he said. He turned to look at the bar door (at least, where it had been). Yoshi leapt up, arms widespread in joy.
"Nightmare! I haven't seen you since..." he began. Nightmare rushed forward and snatched Yoshi by the throat, demonic hand closing around his windpipe.
"My thirst is endless!" Nightmare growled. Yoshimitsu waved frantically at the barkeep. Voldo prodded the cowering barkeep with Ayus and procured a glass of cool water. He took the glass to Nightmare and pulled Yoshimitsu away from the crazed knight. Nightmare downed the water in seconds, discarding the glass and staggering to the bar, dragging Soul Edge behnid him. He took a seat, slammed his fist on the counter and demanded something to drink. A shaking hand produced a bottle of beer. Nightmare popped toe lid off with a demon claw and took a long drink. He sat the bottle down gently, thoroughly contented. His demon arm reached behind the counter and took the barkeep by his shirt, pulling the shaking man up.
"Thanks. How much'll that be?" Nightmare asked. The barkeep held up three fingers in response. Nightmare tossed three coins onto the counter and let go of the barkeep. He returned to his drink and leaned back, smiling.
"You're quite the rude one." Nightmare scowled, feeling chill metal against the side of his neck.
"Sorel? Why don't you go and suck a snail?" Nightmare spat. A collective "Oooh!" rose from the bar. The rapier whipped away from Nightmare's neck. The knight dropped to the floor just in time to watch Flambert whiff an impaling blow.
"Die now!" Nightmare yelled, rolling and grabbing Soul Edge. He smashed the evil blade into the fencer, knocking Sorel against the far wall. Nightmare charged Raphael as he was rising. Soul Edge came tearing down. Raphael slid aside and rose, posing arrogantly as Soul Edge crashed through the floor.
"Too slow!" he said, backstepping to deliver a flurry of thrusts to Nightmare. The knight fell back, blood trickling from his numerous wounds. He licked a splotch of blood from his arm and raised Soul Edge. Rapahel shifted to block a swing...
...And was snatched by a demonic limb. Three clawed fingers wrapped around his midsection, gripping tightly. Nightmare smiled darkly.
"Got you." he said evilly. Nightmare lifted Raphael and threw him in the air. As the fencer dropped, Nightmare swung Soul Edge like a baseball bat. Raphael crashed through a wall and hit the ground hard, sending up a plume of dust. A disembodied voice rang out in the wake of the attack.
Nightmare swung his blade around in wide, vicious arcs, laughing at his fallen foe.
"Behold the magnificence of his victory." Yoshimitsu said, raising his mug of ale. Voldo hissed in agreement, toasting Nightmare with his shot glass.
"I don't know about this, guys." Talim said, nervous. Ivy had the girl's delicate wrist in her firm grasp, dragging her along.
"Oh, you'll be fine." Taki consoled. Xianghua clapped a hand on Talim's shoulder.
"We'll make sure nothing bad happens to ya." she said. Talim smiled, nerves letting up just a bit. After all, she'd been friends with these three (well, maybe no so much Ivy) for years. Surely they wouldn't do anything to hurt her.
At least, she didn't think they would.
p.s.- So? I'm processing chapter 2 at the moment, and any comments you have on the first will be greatly appreciated. -