Just a quickie one shot. I love Fullmetal Panic! Sousuke and Kaname make the cutest dysfunctional couple ever! This is mostly just fluff and a little angst, but hey, you write whatever you're in the mood for. Also, I can't really write Sousuke that well or for that matter Kaname...but I did my best. I haven't exactly seen all of this show...but I think that as they grew older and closer they more than likely matured in a few ways-not always fitting into their usual stereotypes-cause sometimes those stereotypes piss me off (I guess this plot is a little standard...but hey, whatcha gonna do, I just needed a break from Miracle Girl...sorry )
Warnings-A little bit of swearing, a little bit of innuendo...
Kaname blinked slowly, the remnants of sleep still in her system. Fighting off the inevitability of consciousness, she snuggled deeper into the covers and yawned , her voice full of satisfaction. Surrounded in warmth, she longed to stay there all day. Twisting slightly, she sighed at the smooth feeling of sheet against skin. Kaname rolled onto her back, the light filtering through the window across her face.
Opening her eyes, she blinked at the bright light, and threw an arm over her eyes. Why did mornings always have to be so painful for her? It wasn't her fault that mornings and her didn't mix. Usually Sousuke helped her wake up, got her from the bed to the shower. Glancing at the clock next to her bed, her eyes widened at the time. Was it already 11 o'clock? True she didn't have to work today, but she had made plans to make Sousuke breakfast. Sousuke had obviously turned the alarm off. Just like that man to ruin her plans! Intent on capturing her husband, her arm reached over to his side of the bed in a death grip.
Feeling nothing, she turned her head and confirmed her suspicions...he was gone. Were was that stupid man? Throwing the covers from her, she stood on shaky feet and started walking from room to room, ignoring the fact that she was nude. He wouldn't have left without saying goodbye.
"Sousuke?" Anger tinted her voice. When she found him, he was going to pay for making her worry, "Sousuke!"
Her feet quickened their pace as she ran down the stairs. Sprinting through the laundry room, she jumped over dirty clothes and baskets. Stumbling into the kitchen, her eyes scanned the room, barely pausing on the dirty dishes, messy stove, and other remnants of last night. Ignoring the room she focused on the fridge, a piece of stationary taped to it. Furious, she snatched up the letter, the words written in Sousuke's handwriting.
The mission objective has been changed- it is not a problem. I am sorry to have left you without a proper explanation. Be safe.
Blinded by rage, she crumpled the letter and threw it to the ground. Stomping on it with a bare foot, she screamed in exasperation. Feeling the paper beneath her foot, she growled low in her throat, her hand twitching with need of a paper fan. She would definitely need it when he came back. Fully awake, she didn't bother to pick up the crumpled sheet, but instead flew back up the stairs and into the bathroom. Flipping the shower as hot as it would go, she pulled the glass door fully open and stepped inside.
Hot water filtered through her hair and down her shoulders. Leaning her head against the wall her thoughts filtered back to the letter crumpled on the floor and the man who had penned it. Sousuke was always like that. Last night had been an emotional roller coaster. She had gotten home after a long day of work with the thought of a soothing bath on her mind. Instead she had found Sousuke packing supplies. The ones he kept hidden in the laundry room's wall. He had to leave the next morning for an undetermined amount of time. At seeing her husband of two years packing in what might be his last night home in a long time, possibly his last night home ever, she cried uncustomary tears. Last year he had nearly retired from active duty at Mithril, instead training new recruits, working in maintenance and design, and developing strategies- only asking to be used in the field as a last resort. They both knew without having to say anything, that the situation was dire.
If there had been more to it, Sousuke hadn't said. When asking for details, he had simply shook his head, and instead picked up her broken form. Removing her work suit, he had dressed her in one of his favorite dresses. The one she had bought for him on their one year anniversary-short, silky, and white. Wrapping her in his terry cloth robe, he had treated her like a small child. Not saying anything, they had cuddled on the couch, her tears soaking his t-shirt, his hand stroking her hair. Ordering in Chinese, she finally stopped her crying to eat.
At first half-hearted, Sousuke had lightened the mood the only way he knew how. By making a comment about how to disarm someone with a to-go box. Kaname had chortled, not sure if he was serious or not. Afterwards, he had produced a wine bottle from no where, and poured them both a glass. A third of the glass later, the wine was long forgotten. The love making had been soft, then hard, then frenzied, a desperate edge in each touch. Kaname had never felt so loved. Falling asleep in his arms, she had begged him to wake her up before he left. He had smiled slightly, then kissed her- Kaname already asleep.
Of course he didn't wake her though. He must have gotten a message during the night, and left before he had originally planned. Did something awful happen? His short message hadn't said much, but Kaname could read between the lines. -it is not a problem He didn't want her to worry about him. Sousuke was telling her that although the mission objective changed, he would be careful, there would be no conflict that would keep him from her. I am sorry to have left you without a proper explanation. He was sorry to leave without waking her. Sorry, but by the words, there was a reason. Be safe. I love you, be careful because for a short while I will not be there. Her anger completely dissipated, replaced with deep sadness. Tears mixed with water. He wasn't by her side, she was alone again.
Her hands covered her eyes, even as she slid to the floor. Sobs shook her body, as she remembered their more intimate moments. Pressed tightly together, he had kissed her tear stained cheeks before whispering in a strained voice, "I love you." She had come apart in his strong arms. He was an amazing man. Alone now, her whole body shook as the situation set in.
Laying on the floor of the shower for an immeasurable amount of time, the droplets gradually turned into icicles as the hot water ran out. Shivering, she pulled her emotionally drained body from ground and slouched into Sousuke's robe. Combing through her hair, she glanced into the mirror- the tired, red faced woman looking nothing like the spirited Kaname that was ever present. Wiping the last vestiges of tears from her recent breakdown, she trudged down the stairs and back into the kitchen. Starting up the coffee maker, she dialed into her boss and explained that she wasn't feeling well- she wouldn't be coming in the rest of the week. Going to work was not something that Kaname was willing to put herself through.
Waiting for the coffee, she got to the task of cleaning up last night's leftover mess. Putting the Chinese food in the fridge, her eyes froze on the note still discarded on the floor. Kaname picked it up carefully, carefully smoothing it out. Taping it back on the fridge, she took deep breaths in an effort to stop herself from breaking down again.
From the moment Sousuke had entered her life, he had become an crucial part of it. Now, years later, she couldn't imagine life without him by her side. Wasn't sure she wanted to live life without him by her side. She was a strong person- yes, but her strength seemed to leave her whenever he had to.
Looking down at the cup of coffee she couldn't remember pouring, she watched her wobbly reflection. What had happened to the brash high school girl she used to be? At one time Kaname had been alone all of the time, at one time she had had no one. And although it hadn't been unflawed, she was practically mush now.
Memories of last night floated in front of her eyes, memories of Sousuke's touch, smell, and voice- and she knew what changed. Sousuke was quiet, smart, paranoid, diligent, silly, over protective, a live wire- "I love you." -and although far from perfect, perfect for her.
Moving into the living room, she flipped through the television channels, not stopping on one channel long enough to get into it. Shifting slightly, she pulled the robe closer to her form, breathing in the strong scent of Sousuke. Checking the clock on the tv, her mind barely registered the fact that it was past eight. Had she really been sitting for so long? Not hungry, she instead flipped to CNN, and watched for any headline news in other countries. She had no idea where Sousuke was, but she did know that if something in the mission went astray, the disaster would probably make national news. Trying to focus on the anchors, Kaname eventually felt her eyelids grow heavy. Leaning back slightly, she stifled a yawn and closed her eyes, thankful for the grogginess. Slipping into sleep, she wondered if Sousuke would be getting any sleep tonight.
Kaname jolted awake, her entire body on edge. Visibly shaking, she put a hand to her head, not bothering to stop the tears that ran down her face. The dream had been violent and vivid, Sousuke's body blown into millions of pieces, his pain horrific. Nausea overtook her senses, and she bolted to the bathroom, afraid that she wouldn't make it. Her stomach twisted, trying to expunge the food that she hadn't eaten. Leaning over the toilet, she shut her eyes- a cold sweat clinging to her body. Twitching, the feeling finally left her, but not before wringing out the contents of her practically empty stomach.
Standing up, she watched her reflection try to catch its' breath.
"What's wrong with me?" Kaname's double image didn't respond.
Her eyes widened as she put a hand to her forehead again. Unless she was mistaken, a fever was brewing. Opening the mirror, she pulled out the Advil and Tylenol from the shelves behind it. Her gut twisted again, the pain so great that she dropped the bottles.
"Shit." her hands grasped her stomach, "Just my luck."
She spent the next hour sitting next to the toilet. Knowing that there wasn't anyway she would be able to keep medicine down, Kaname tried to monitor her own fever. However, she never claimed to be a med student, and her own condition alluded her. The dizzy spells started an hour later, black spots clouding her vision, her breath getting ragged, and her throat sore. She knew it was bad, but part of her was still stubborn.
"Dammit! Sousuke, I need you!" Her voice was broken. Shoving herself onto her feet, she fought to stay conscious and made the journey to the bedroom. Just like him to not be around when she needed him.
Falling into their bed, she didn't bother to check the clocks- knowing that it probably wasn't much past noon. Shimming onto Sousuke's side, she enveloped herself in his scent and imagined his arms around her.
The next week and a half was a blur to Kaname. The fever continuous, the aches and pains mind numbing, and the stomach flu ever present. She hadn't been able to keep anything down, and although by the fifth day her fever finally seemed to break, looking in the mirror had become a scary thing. Kaname hadn't showered since the day after Sousuke left, and could feel the grime coating her body. To make matters worse, there hadn't been any word of Sousuke. No one from Mithril had called, and when she called them in an effort to get answers, they had been kind but uninformative.
Thinking of Sousuke, her mind churned out another scenario that ended with his body being thrown lifeless to the ground. It wasn't that she didn't have faith in him, she believed in him more than she believed in anyone. But fear still ebbed at her mind, and although Kaname banished such awful thoughts from her mind usually, her recent sick spell had left her weak in both body and soul. The picture formed again in her thoughts, and she wrapped a hand around her stomach, willing the flu to dissipate. Taking a deep breath she shut her eyes.
Resting on the living room coach, the television once again turned to CNN, Kaname made her first trip from the bedroom in 4 days. Her stomach protested food still, but she needed to eat or drink something. Water was all she could get to stay down. Trying to focus on the news, she tilted her head onto her shoulder and pulled Sousuke's robe closer. A pair of Sousuke's boxers and his robe were all she wore. She hadn't changed all week. Not that she didn't want to be clean, but just standing was enough to make her sick, and the one time she had attempted to change had left her at the toilet's side for longer than she cared to remember. Besides, being surrounded by Sousuke's smell almost made it like he was there.
It was like the anchor was speaking another language. She straightened her head and yawned. Glancing at the clock, she groaned at the time. It was only nine o'clock and she was already exhausted. Deciding that sleeping on Sousuke's side of the bed was better than sleeping half curled up on the couch, and worth the risk of nausea, she tentatively put her weight on her feet. Standing hesitatingly, not caring that the robe had come undone and gaped open, Kaname took her first step towards the stairs She ignored the black spots. And that was when she heard it. Someone had just opened the front door.
A great wave of fear suddenly coursed through her veins. What if it wasn't Sousuke? What I it was someone who was after her because she was Whispered? It had happened enough times in the past. And if they knew that Sousuke was gone, she would be a sitting duck. Not to mention the fact that she was as sick as a dog, and as helpless as a new born child. Or worse, what if it was someone from Mithril? Someone who was hear to tell the horrible news. Sousuke had fallen in combat. Sousuke was dead.
The thoughts spilled out, even as the sounds of footsteps grew closer. Kaname felt her limbs grow weak, her body numb. She couldn't allow herself to think positively-to think at all. If it wasn't him, and she had believed wholeheartedly that it would be -she would be crushed. An oppressive weight settled on her chest, and Kaname struggled to keep the tears from falling.
A head full of dark messy hair came into view, brown eyes barely visible beneath. They widened immediately at the sight of her, and Kaname felt her heart stop- dark pants, simple white shirt, a large canvas bag slung over one shoulder, the cross shaped scar standing out like a sore thumb- there was no one else it could be. No one who could make her feel so mad and happy at the same time.
"Sousuke..." her voice came out shattered and weak, the hours of neglect she imposed on her body finally starting to press in on her.
The black spots grew, and the exhaustion she had been fighting took its toll, her body crumpling and her consciousness slipping.
Sousuke hopped out of the transporter and nodded his thanks to Kurz and Mao. Freshly showered, but still looking bedraggled, Mao nodded back and sulked deeper into her seat- sleep and good booze the only thing on her mind. Kurz, flipping through the radio stations and tapping his fingers to the beat, leaned forward and grabbed the door handle.
"Give Kaname our regards..." he winked, "Or something like that." the innuendo was obvious. And the hand gesture definitely wasn't subtle.
Sousuke didn't bother to respond, instead pulling the door shut-on Kurz's hand. He could hear the pretty boy swearing and Mao laughing as the non-descript vehicle pulled away. Those two never changed. Shouldering his supplies, he started up the steps at a quick pace, eager to see Kaname.
He knew she would be mad. There was no way that she wouldn't be furious. Having not been on a mission for months, the notice from Mithril had been a surprise for Kaname, but more like a visit from an old relative you may not necessarily like, but knew would come sooner or later for Sousuke. He understood that there was no way they would never need him again, no way he would never be needed to pilot the AS in the heat of battle. He accepted his fate, the duty that was his. But sometimes it hurt. It hurt him because before Kaname his life was lived only for the success of the mission. Thoughts about death bothered him now. Thoughts of having to leave Kaname alone, her facing the world without him, would wake him in the middle of the night.
After telling her the news, he had watched her slowly crumple in on herself. Kaname was always so brash and courageous, the sight of her slumped form had left him afraid. Unlocking the front door he remembered the rest of their last night with fondness. He hadn't felt that close to her in ages- and during the mission he had looked back at those memories for strength and resolve when he felt he might fail. She was his rock.
The mission had been hard and long. A week in the hot jungles of Africa, his body and mind pushed to the extreme. After finally completing their objectives, Mithril had pulled out yesterday morning, before the UN arrived. The flight home had been long, Sousuke becoming fidgety four hours into it. Being away from Kaname did that to him. He would be focused throughout the mission, but the minute he was done- BAM! He wanted to be by Kaname's side. It was his job to protect her, to love her. Without him by her side, who knew what poor schmo she would pick on.
Reporting and debriefing had taken all of the night and most of the day- Mithril as thorough as ever. Finally getting permission to leave, he had lost his temper and bitten the heads off of Mao and Weber for taking so long to get ready. To say that they had been shocked was an understatement. Sousuke was the epitome of calm and collected usually, but with the knowledge that every minute he wasted here was a minute longer till he saw Kaname, his control had steadily slipped.
He set down the duffel bag and removed his shoes methodically. Hearing the TV in the living room he started down the hallway, excitement beginning to ooze from every pore. Walking through the kitchen, his eyes methodically took in the kitchen. It hadn't looked used in a while. Had Kaname been ordering out? Or had she been eating at a friend's all week? He noticed the note he had left wrinkled and taped to the fridge. Although it had been sorely beaten, it looked like it had been forgiven and lovingly restored. Would he receive such treatment? No, his would more than likely be much worse. Turning into the room his eyes flickered over the room before settling on Kaname and widening.
She looked like shit. In seconds his eyes had assessed her situation. There were heavy rings under her eyes- dark blue, her hair unwashed was dirt matted and stuck to her face, and she wore his robe, slightly gaped, with only a pair of his boxers underneath. Covered in sweat there was a pale sickly sheen to her skin, and even with the robe he could tell that she had lost weight.
"Sousuke..." her voice held fear, desperation, and a note of longing.
Kaname swayed slightly, her eyes clouding over, and Sousuke ran forward to catch her. Cradling her precious unconscious form against his own, he tucked a stray lock of blue hair behind an ear. His mission was clear. Standing up with her still in his arms, he made his way up the stairs and into the bathroom. He shifted her weight onto one arm and used the other to open the cupboard and pull out the first aid kit. Sitting on the floor with his back to the wall, he opened the kit and rummaged for the items he needed. Pulling out a thermometer first, he shifted Kaname again, so that her head rested on his shoulder and her body rested in his lap. Tilting her head back, he slipped the thermometer into her mouth and under her tongue.
Waiting for the results, Sousuke examined her body more carefully. By his estimations she had gotten sick less than 24 hours from his departure. Being stubborn, she had probably kept it to herself and not gone to the doctor. Her stubborn streak seemed to only have grown the past few years. He opened her robe a bit more and ran his hands under her breasts and over her ribs. Sousuke frowned slightly. She had lost more weight than he had initially thought, at least seven pounds by the way her ribs protruded. Kissing her head gently, he removed the thermometer and sighed in relief. It looked like she was on the up swing, her temperature barely over 98.6.
Turning the bathwater on, he ran his hand under the water, checking the warmth. Satisfied, he let the tub fill, and started to undress her. He removed the robe slowly, making sure not to jar her, and smiled to himself. Although she wasn't wearing much, everything she wore was his. He liked the way she looked in his stuff. Now Kaname was only clad in his boxers, and Sousuke allowed himself a moment to admire the way the boxers made her look -incredibly sexy. He would have to remember that for the future. She shivered slightly, and he snapped out of his daze, holding her close while removing the undergarments.
Rolling up his sleeves, he picked her up once again and eased her into the warm water. Despite the fact that she was unconscious, Kaname moaned in contentment. Sometimes she could be so negligent with her own health, he would have to lecture her on the importance when she was well again. Keeping an arm behind her shoulders for support, he used the other to wash away the grim that had accumulated on her with a washcloth. Afterwards, he set to work on her hair, working both the shampoo and then conditioner from scalp to tip with his fingers. As his ministrations continued, Kaname's body seemed to melt in his hands, becoming more and more relaxed, and Sousuke smirked slightly with the knowledge that he had done that to her.
When finished, he wrapped her in a large towel, her pliant body like putty in his hands. Already she looked healthier. Pulling the drain from the bathtub, he brought her to their bedroom, his eyes taking in the room. Setting her on the large comfy chair in the corner, he changed the sheets and made the bed. He wasn't going to let her sleep in that filth. Laying her on the bed, he pulled out a pair of his flannel pajamas and dressed her in them. She looked great, and again Sousuke remembered to put her in his clothes more often.
Running back to the bathroom, he grabbed one of her combs and made his way back. Sitting on the bed next to her prone form, he carefully began to pull it through her hair, slowly working through the kinks. After examining her he was sure that she wasn't in any danger, she was just exhausted- the anxiety she had been under making her body weak and susceptible to sickness. Right now she needed sleep. Finishing her hair, he ran his fingers through the strands, enjoying the feeling it created on his skin. Putting her under the blankets, he stood up to change, barely moving before he felt Kaname's fingers wrap around his. Looking back, Sousuke smiled. She wasn't even awake, but still she was afraid that he was leaving her again. Disengaging her hand carefully he quickly and efficiently changed into a pair of flannel pants, and climbed in after her, turning the lights off as he went. As his weight hit the bed, she rolled in his direction.
Enfolding her in his arms, he kissed her cheek and listened to her heart beat.
Being away from her for so long had created a dull ache in him. In his home again, with his wife in his arms- the ache was finally filled. Breathing in her scent, he sighed at the intoxicating feeling. She could be so angry and peevish awake, and he cherished the moments he could watch her at peace while she slept, looking like the sweet woman Kaname could be on rare occasions. When he hadn't done anything to piss her off. Shutting his eyes, he listened intently for a moment, the stillness of the house setting in, before drifting off into sleep.
Kaname woke up, a heavy feeling still in her limbs. Feeling infinitely better, she sighed softly, and pulled the hand resting on her waist tighter. Snuggling deeper into the warmth, her mind suddenly snapped into overdrive- to the hand splayed over her waist, and the body that it was connected to. Shifting toward the body that was currently spooning hers, she eyed Sousuke sleeping contently next to her. She should be pissed at him. She cupped the side of his face, and smiled warmly at him. A smile that she rarely if ever let him see.
Running a hand through her hair, her mouth opened wide at how soft it felt. Her other hand traveled to the skin exposed at her neck. Kaname gave Sousuke an even bigger grin, and a slight blush stained her cheeks. Looking around, she spotted a towel draped over the far chair. Yep, she was correct. Sousuke had given her a bath...she buried her head in the crook of his neck. For some reason the thought of her husband bathing her while she slept wouldn't leave her head, and the embarrassment grew wildly out of control. The thought seemed unbearably....romantic....and Sousuke was as far from romantic as one could get.
Going up onto her elbows, a slight wave of dizziness washed over her, and she groaned as her hands buckled under her. Instantly Sousuke was above her, her own body on its' back, his body coiled tight in apprehension.
"Are you hurt somewhere? Don't move."
She blushed crimson as he searched her body for injury.
"I'm fine Sousuke."
He continued his inspection, finally resting his hands on either side of her head. Putting his forehead on hers, his eyes were solemn.
"You were ill."
It wasn't a question. He gave her a quick kiss. She opened her mouth to speak, but her stomach growled suddenly in protest. Kaname bit her lip in embarrassment, and Sousuke hopped off of the bed in an instant.
"I'll be back." He was halfway out the door, when his head poked back in, "And don't think about moving." Sousuke's voice held no room for argument, and she nodded weakly. He really could be overprotective sometimes.
A few minutes later he returned, carrying a bowl of something that smelt delicious. Her stomach growled again, and she resisted the urge to grab the bowl forcefully from him. Sitting next to her, his legs still on the floor, she peered inside the dish.
"Mmmmmm....Is that chicken noodle?"
He produced a spoon and dipped it into the broth, blowing lightly on the soup before putting it up to her mouth. Not minding the treatment at all, she opened her mouth and let him feed her. The soup was gone in minutes, and didn't look like it was going to make another appearance. Feeling well for the first time in days, Kaname stretched her arms above her head and attempted to get up.
Sousuke's hand stopped her.
"You are still malnourished and unwell."
She couldn't believe it. Clenching the sheets in an effort to calm down, her voice was deceptively calm.
"Sousuke, I feel fine....really..." She supposed it was sweet of him to care so much, but really- it wasn't like she was a doll. Kaname had stuff she needed to get done.
He shook his head in a 'No' gesture, and she growled low in her throat. Her head swam again, and she put a hand to it. Feeling his hand over hers, she did her best to accept defeat.
"For how long?" Her voice croaked out dejectedly. He removed her hand and she met his gaze warily. Sometimes he could be such a stickler. But Sousuke's eyes only seemed to hold concern and love- and possibly a lecture.
"By your medical condition, four days of bed rest is needed to sufficiently restore your health."
Kaname eyed the ceiling and counted to ten. It didn't work. Now that she wasn't as sick as a dog, her anger seemed to be in overdrive. Her eyebrows scrunched together even as the words exploded out of her mouth, and Sousuke jumped slightly at her sudden change in demeanor.
"Sousuke! You can't expect me to stay in bed for four days! That's absolutely ludicrous, and besides, I'm still pissed at you for leaving me without saying goodbye. I-"
He cut her off with a soft kiss, leaving her breathless and slightly dazed. He tucked the covers in tighter around her body, and kissed her forehead.
"Get some sleep."
Sousuke spoke plainly, already standing up. Straining against the sheets, she grabbed his arm and pulled him as hard as she could, sprawling him across the bed and her. Kaname finally had her husband back, and if she was stuck on bed rest, there was no way she was letting him leave her. And it was obvious that right now he wasn't in the mood for an argument. A great idea occurred to her, and she blushed knowingly at her husband, even as she ran her hands through his hair. He had been gone for two weeks, and even if she was mad at him for his past discretions, the fact that he was safe and in her arms again was all that mattered.
"Sousuke?" Her voice was hesitant, and she wondered how he could make her feel like a sixteen year old girl without any effort, "Will you stay here with me?"
Part of Kaname hated the weakness that she had just exposed. Part of her despised her lack of strength and pride. But she couldn't be strong all of the time. And for Sousuke she could give up everything, just to keep him near. He scooted up the bed and tucked her head underneath his own. She smiled against his skin, and laid a hand over his chest, his heart beat resounding softly in her ear.
"I'll stay." His voice was soft, and held little emotion....but still, Kaname could read him like a book. He was happy, "But Kaname?"
There was question in his voice.
"I don't know how much rest you'll get."
AN- alright guys, back to Miracle Girl....