A/N: Sorry if this story is a little obscene to you, but it's meant to be funny. So please be light in the reviews. After all, it's supposed to be funny.
This story is dedicated to ChangeOfHeart-2, my friend Morgan, and all the members at R&B 'Shippers United.A Bizarre Teen Titans Story
It was a blazing hot day in Devil's Desert; bones of deceased animals were scattered on the thousands of tiny grains of peach colored sand. The cacti surrounding the place stood proud and tall, looking fearless and knowing the events that were about to take place. The silence of the desert was suddenly broken. An anonymous object appeared over the hills of piled sand.
A green and featherless vulture spotted the object and immediately swooped down.
From the bird's eye view it looked like a piece of homemade cornbread, except with a set of arms, eyes, and legs. The hairless vulture got a better look as he continued plunging to the ground. Much to the predator's surprise, it actually was a piece of homemade cornbread skipping happily through the almost deserted desert. The bird flapped his skinny wings and landed in front of the tasty scrap of food.
"Are you 'the' Gar Logan?" the cornbread asked, pulling out a piece of lined paper. The vulture eyed the bread suspiciously and transformed into a naked Beast Boy.
"Yes," he replied, "And whatever happened, I DIDN'T DO IT!!!!!!!"
"I've come to deliver a simple love letter to you."
Beast Boy grabbed the folded paper from the cornbread.
"Who's it from?"
"A friend of yours. Now my job is completed. That'll cost you a pumpkin."
The cornbread nodded in agreement. Anger soon crossed Beast Boy's face as he transformed into a hairless wolf. The letter floated to the ground. He gobbled up the whole cornbread in one bite and transformed back into his naked self. The green teen picked the letter up, opened it, and began to read.
"Dear Gar Logan,
'Twas a long time I have waited to tell ye this. Every time I saw ye, my own heart nearly ached with love. Love is such a strong emotion one has to endure. It holds such a firm grip on a person's depressed, dark, and miserable heart. The pain is intense, but I quite enjoy it. I love ye and nothing can ever separate us. If ye are dying to know who sent this, please visit Ron's Café just 5 miles north of Devil's Desert. Fare ye well."
Beast Boy's emerald eyes glowed as his heart leapt out of his chest. He never felt like this let alone received such a letter as this one. Forgetting that he was nude, he began on his walk to find his admirer.
The rumbling of the shape shifter's stomach was unbearable. That and he thought he was lost. "Hey!" said a voice from below. Beast Boy looked from side to side, found nothing, and shrugged.
The voice came again. Must be a hallucination. It was a desert after all.
"Hey! You idiotic little b! Down here!"
The green lad felt a slimy, sticky hand wrap around his leg. He looked at the sand below. A cheesy slice of pizza smiled up at him.
"Finally! What does a slice of pizza have to do to get a little attention around here?! Do I have to babble like an idiot or beg for permission to go to the bathroom!? Geez!"
"Sorry little dude."
"It's ok. Just want-"
'That should shut him up,' Beast Boy thought, 'But I can't help but think that the little pizza dude was gonna say something important. Oh well!' The green lad shrugged and resumed walking, whistling as he did so.
Beast Boy exhaled a sigh, licked his hand, and rubbed it across his sweaty hair. Ron's Café was just a few seconds away. "Okay Beast Boy," he whispered to himself, "Just act cool. You can do it." The door swished open. Every paying customer gasped at the scene before them. The green lad stared.
A finger tapped him on the shoulder. He quickly turned around. His eyes popped out and his jaw was hanging to the ground.
The dark teen nodded. She was also naked.
"R-Raven!? You're my-"
"Secret admirer. Yeah."
Color showed in his cheeks; he clasped his hands together.
"I love you too."
Raven grabbed both sides of his head and they made out with everyone viewing.