Disclaimer: Nope...not mine. Do you really think I'd do this to a character I'd created myself? Really? how'd you know? hehehe

You have got to be kidding me!

Severus Snape could not believe he had allowed himself to get into this situation. A 'Potions Helpline'? Albus Dumbledore had to be out of his mind. Nevertheless, here he sat, with a...what was the word again? Oh yes. A 'headset' wrapped around one ear, with a smaller piece extending down to his mouth, waiting for the next idiot to call in, with some inane question about why they couldn't get a Love Potion to work.

At least those questions were ones he had some interest in. Not like that last moron...

"Potions Helpline. How may I (ugh) help you..."

"Um...hi...I'm trying to get this feather to float, but it almost seems to be trying to burrow into the desk, instead. How do I fix that?"

"Have I got this right? You want my assistance with a Levitation Charm?"


"You prat! You do realize this is the Potions Helpline, do you not?!?"



"So you can't help me, huh?"

Apparently, the child knew something about charms, though. After Severus told him what he thought about people who wasted his time with inappropriate questions, some sort of fusing charm was sent throught the connection, and the despised headset seemed as if it would be part of his ear for a while. He just wished Madame Pomphrey would quit snickering every time she walked past... Even that part was better than the calls where some preadolescent twit would call and say "Can I speak to Harry, please?"

You have simply got to be kidding me!

A/N: Just something I threw together one day so the plot ferrets would leave me alone. Plot bunnies are nice fluffy little things that hop across your field of vision, twitch their cute little pink noses at you, and hop away. Plot ferrets are mean, nasty, little things that sink their needle sharp fangs into your ankle, and don't let go until you sit down at the keyboard. Mean little buggers...Let GO now!