Well it looks like Momo is back again, and for once I'm writing something straight! Ya recently I've tried my hand at something new. I actually wrote my first Yaoi! At first I was a little reluctant about it but it was actually pretty fun however I still prefer the good old fashion love story…okay well maybe this one ain't as normal as usual because I've picked one of the most odd pairings. Well I suppose the reason why is because I kind of get tired of reading and writing the same old things, and I figured you guys usually feel the same way too. That's why I decided to write this fic.

Well anyways I don't have much to say. I kind of lost my train of thought, but I hope you guys like my little ficcie as much as I did writing it.

Disclaimer: I own nothing so guess what you would get if you ever decided to sue me…NOTHING! MUHWAHAHAHA!

What's Love Got to do With It?

Chp1 Holy Matrimony

"This is utterly ridiculous!" Fumed the angry brunet as he flopped down into his chair and huffed.

The smaller raven-haired boy raised an eye towards his obviously heated brother, and sighed. He then abandoned his task of sacrificing helpless cheerios to his bowl of sugar milk, and turned to face the sulking boy. "What's wrong this time?"

"Americans! They are such idiots!" Snapped the older brother as he all but slammed his fist against the table, liberating all cheerio's from their sugar saturated bondage.

"Now, now Seto, that's not a very fair statement." Replied Mokuba as he frowned down at the bowl, which had fallen to the floor. "It's not like everyone could be born blessed and Japanese."

"Well I guess you're right," Shrugged Seto as he realized his brother had a good point. "But gods their the worst! They're so controlling, arrogant, manipulative, calculating, rude, and just down right unbearable!"

"Hmm, sounds like someone I know." Muttered Mokuba just low enough so his brother didn't hear him, but loud enough for Seto to give him one of his infamous Kaiba glares.

However, Mokuba was not at all intimidated, as he stared back at his brother innocently and smiled. Seto rolled his eyes in response before he redirected his glare towards the cheesy American kid on the front of Mokuba's cereal box. At least he knew he stood a chance against that kid, as oppose to his already desensitized younger brother. "This never would of happened if I were dealing with Canadians."

"Ok, ok, so how about a little more detail Seto? What did the Americans do this time?"

"You mean besides rashly nuking two of our islands, and stripping away our military pride?"

"SeETO!" Groaned Mokuba errantly a he pushed the box of cereal out of his older brother's face.

"Okay fine, I'll tell you." Grumbled Seto as he turned his face away from Mokuba's scolding eyes. "You know how Kaibacorp has recently extended its empire into America? Well, just as I was about to make a deal with one of my American buyer's, in an attempt to expand our international outlet, the company was bought out by some oil mangling Texan."

"Come again?"

"He bought the company out, and then decided to suspend our contract until he had a chance to meet me. However, when he heard how old I was, he decided I was too 'juvenile' to do business with." Growled Seto somewhat bitterly.

"Then you should've lied about your age." Shrugged Mokuba as he slouched into his seat.

"I did. I told him I was 26 and the idiot actually believed me."

"Then what's the problem?" Groaned Mokuba as he realized he wasn't so interested in his brother's story anymore.

"Well then after that, rather than get down to business, the stupid miser decided it was more interesting to pry into my personal life, and to think he called me juvenile!"

"So?" Nodded Mokuba as he suddenly decided his brother's story was becoming more interesting.

"Then somehow we go on the subject of my romantic life, and then he asked me if I was married."

"So then what?"

"I told him I wasn't."

"And what did he say?"

"He asked me if I was gay." Mokuba stared at his brother wide eye, as an awkward silence filled the air around them. Seto then frowned, obviously un-amused, as Mokuba toppled backwards out of his seat and burst into a fit of laughter.

Finally after Mokuba's laughs dropped down to a dull snicker, Seto continued on. "He said that the only way an attractive successful businessman like myself could ever remain single was if I were a homo or retarded. Then before I could explain myself he started ranting and raving about "that where he was from family values and good homely ethics meant everything," and that he wasn't sure if he could trust and do business with a man who didn't believe that also."

"Oh, I see." Chuckled Mokuba as he rubbed a few tears of laughter from his eyes. "So you're mad because he decided to cancel your deal."

"No. We made the deal. As a matter a fact, the research department reported that our foreign profits rate is predicted to increase by about 3.5%."

"So then what are you so mad about!?!" Huffed Mokuba as his patience began to snap.

Seto let out a tired breath as he turned away from his restless brother and muttered. "The only reason why the simpleton made the deal with me was because I told him that I was kidding before, and that I was married."

"You what?" Cracked Mokuba as his already irregularly large eyes widened. "Well…I guess that isn't too bad."

"I thought so too." Sighed Seto as he ruffled his fingers through his hair in an irritated fashion. "That is until the pushy American somehow forced a self invitation to our mansion for a week."

"WHAT! You can't be serious?"

"He then insisted on meeting the lucky woman who could snag a guy like me, and then went on about how his own wife and kids would probably adore a visit to a 'quaint' little island like Japan."

"Oh man, Seto. You sure did dig yourself into a deep hole this time." Hooted Mokuba as he slapped his hand against his leg.

"If you can't say anything useful, then don't say anything at all." Scowled Seto suggestively. "That's what's wrong with all the idiots in this world today. They just don't know how to keep their mouths shut."

"Excuse me." Sassed Mokuba as he rolled his eyes. "So now what are you going to do?"

"Well at first I thought about lying and saying that my wife was away for the week, but then I realized that knowing this old fashioned chauvinist, he'd think that it was weird that I would let my wife go away alone for a week, and that I didn't know how to control my woman."

"SOOoo."

"A consultant of mine suggested that I hire someone to pretend to be my wife for the week."

"Ohhh," droned Mokuba thoughtfully as he turned his head towards the ceiling. "And you?"

"I agreed to it."

"You did!?" Blurted Mokuba as he jerked his face back towards his brother.

"Yes, and according to my schedule she should be arriving here any moment now." Replied Seto in a strangely calm tone.

"HAHAHA!" Busted Mokuba as he nearly fell out his seat again. "I never thought the day would come that my brother would finally settle down and get married. Tell me Seto, do you two have any kids?"

"Yes." Answered Seto flatly.

"Really? So you're going to hire some bogus actor kids too?" Questioned Mokuba as he quickly stopped laughing.

"No," smirked Seto dubiously causing the younger brother to cringe. "Because you're gonna be our kid."

"WHAT! No way! There's no way that I'm gonna-" However, before Mokuba could continue on with his protest, the sound of the doorbell cut him off.

Both Kaibas stared at each other in silence before Seto narrowed his eyes on Mokuba and gave him a haughty smile. "Hmm, looks like your new mom is here."

"Seto..." Whined Mokuba, as he watched his brother get up to and leave the kitchen.

Seto casually strode towards the door leaving his baffled and not so happy brother behind. However, the closer he got to reaching the door, the more and more faster his heart began to beat. Somehow he knew that this was all a bad idea.

Once he reached his destination Seto stared at the door for a moment before he reluctantly took in a deep breath, and opened it. 'Oh well here goes….'

Silence filled the air around them as Seto and the figure in front of him gaped at each other. His eyes were now unusually wide and his face deathly pale, as Seto opened his mouth to speak, but failed. However after the few seconds, which had hit Seto more like several hours, the woman finally spoke…or rather screamed.

"KAIBA!"

"MAI!"

::Two days ago::

"Man does this blow!" Whined the curly haired blonde, as she stretched her arms into the air and leaned into her seat. "What with there being no tournaments right now, I'm about as broke as the Honda's bike!"

"Mai honey, do sit still and quit whining!" Scolded the tall brunet behind her. "If you keep loungin around, I'll mess your curls all up! Besides you shouldn't frown like that, it causes wrinkles."

"What on this beautiful face?" Chortled Mai as she batted an eyelash suggestively. "Please Geibooichan, I'm not in the mood for jokes."

"So girl, are you havin a bit of a financial crisis?" Questioned Geibooi.

"A bit? More like a chunk!" Laughed Mai cynically.

"Hmm," hummed Geibooi thoughtfully. "Well seein as how you're my best customer and my dear friend, how about I give you a little inside scoop." Mai shrugged her shoulders in response; although she was pretty sure Geibooi's scoop was nothing but gossip.

"Well a customer of mine came in earlier today and got pretty primped up. I'm mean head to toe girl. Then when I asked her why, she said it was because she was gonna snag herself a billionaire."

"Oh, like that's something that happens everyday." Smirked Mai as she all but rolled her eyes.

"Yeah that's what I said, but she insisted that she was serious. Turns out that some hotshot entrepreneur needs someone to play his wife for the week in order to deceive some American buyers of his."

"If he was so hot then he wouldn't have to lie." Replied Mai wryly.

"Mai dear, you know how outrageous Americans can be. No one knows what they're thinking, if that's even possible for them."

"I see your point." Agreed Mai. "So, let's say I was interested in this job…how much would it pay?"

" About 85 million yen (That's about 800 thousand dollars in American currency)."

"Eighty five million what!" Shrieked Mai as her eyes nearly bulged out their sockets. Just to play some rich mans wife for a week?

"Mai dear please keep it down." Shushed Geibooi nervously. "No one really knows about all of this. Obviously this loaded boy doesn't want the media to find out about this, so only a select few know about this info.

"I can't believe this," mouthed Mai more to herself. "What kind of man has money like that to burn?"

"I know." Sighed Geibooi regretfully. "If only God would have did his job right and made me a woman, then I would have gladly jumped at this opportunity."

"Well there's nothing holding me back! Geibooi, hurry and finish my hair so I can get going!"

"Thank you Miss Kujaku. Will get back to you as soon as we've made our decision." Replied the stiff lanky man.

Mai narrowed her eye in on him, but was unable to read his face. His thick bottle head glasses hid his features too well. However, she had a feeling that the statement was nothing more than an empty promise.

"Yeah, I wouldn't bet my Harpy lady on that." Muttered Mai sourly as she stood from her seat and headed out the door.

"Wait!" Blurted the man, nearly tripping Mai out her tracks. "What did you say?"

Mai blinked at the man wildly, as she hesitantly answered him. "I said I wouldn't bet my Harpy lady."

Mai tapped her foot impatiently on the ground as the man whispered something to one of his associates and then turned his attention back on her. "Miss Kujaku, you're a fan of duel monsters?"

"Yeah, so what." Answered Mai defensively.

Upon hearing this, the whispers amongst the table grew, as Mai felt her patience reach its limit. 'These suits need to stop wasting my time!'

However, just before Mai was about to explode, the man promptly stood to his feet. "Miss Kujaku, if you don't mind. Roderigo, excuse all the other woman who are waiting outside."

Mai blinked again as she watched the security officer, who had escorted her into the room, disappear outside. She then turned her head back to the first man, and was surprised to notice he was standing right in front of her and was now shaking her hand.

"Congratulations Miss Kujaku, you are now married."

Mai stood outside the huge mansion gates and gasped. Even though she herself was quite accustom to the life of fame and riches, considering her own esteem background, she still had to admit that she was impressed. "Well ain't this boy loaded."

"Ohh there you are Miss Kujaku. My boss has been waiting." Beamed a voice from behind her.

"Oh Mr. Katsugia," Exclaimed Mai as she recognized the person as the man who had hired her.

"We'll as much as I'd like to escort you, I have other business to attend to, however if you just make your way to the mansion, my boss will give you the details."

"Okay." Shrugged Mai as she headed towards the huge house.

"Oh and Miss Kujaku…" Called out Katsugia as he gave her a troubled look. "I do wish to warn you that my boss has a few…personality issues."

"Well I figured that much. Otherwise he wouldn't have had to hire me." Laughed Mai idly, even though she didn't want to admit that she was feeling a little uneasy.

'What did he mean by personality issues? I mean the guy couldn't be that he?' Mai began to worry as her steps suddenly got considerably smaller. 'I mean he's not some kind of a monster…is he? I mean the worse case scenario is that he's unbearably unattractive and old, but for all that money I know I can bear it.'

Mai felt a bead of sweat fall from her brow as she stared up at the huge twin doors in front of her and reluctantly reached towards the doorbell.

'Oh no! What if this guy is some kind of letch or sadist? I mean 85 million yen. Who pays that kind of money just to have some novice actor pose as his wife? Only professionals and hookers get paid that kind of dough! I bet the man intends to do more with me than play pretend!'

However, before Mai could change her mind, her heart stopped as she realized her finger had slipped and she had already rung the doorbell. "SHIT!"

Mai then jerked her head around and cursed as she realized there was no turning back. Even if she ran, there was no way she could get away without being seen. The mansion was too large to run around and hide, and the walkway she had just trailed up was nearly half a mile long.

'OH NO! This is it. There's no turning back!'

In slow motion, the door swung open as Mai came face to face with her future groom to be, and then it happened. Two wide yet piercing blue eyes stared down at Mai as an awkward silence filled the air around them. Mai tried to register in her mind what was going on, but before she could process anything her mouth busted open. "KAIBA!"

"MAI!"

To be continued…

Wow now isn't that a twist. Seto has to marry Mai. Now I have to admit that I am an advent Jonouchi x Mai fan, but in the case of this story this is the pairing that works best. I mean I could have had Otogi x Mai or Seto x Shizuka but I kind of burnt out on Seto x Shisuka fics (as much as I love the pairing) and I don't like Otogi all that much. Plus when I think about this pairing really works the best. I mean stuck up uptight insufferable Seto versus flamboyant wily conniving Mai. It couldn't get any better. Yeah I have such plans of torture for this couple. Muhwhahaha!

Well enough of my ramblings I guess I better get off to writing the next chapter, however whether I continue this fic depends on you guys, so please read and review and tell me if this story is worth continuing!