Shattered Back Together
A Ranma Nibunoichi x-over
by Kitsune Saotome
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. So leave me alone.
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Advice welcome, flames oblitzerated.
"" denotes Japanese
 denotes telephone conversation
Prologue: None Can Escape God's Gaze....
-------Nerima, Tendo home--------
Ranma Saotome, age seventeen, awakened for the first time in years on his own. This, in normal circumstances, would not be such a strange thing. But in Ranma's case, for the last six years he could remember, his father had awakened him by brutally kicking him in the ribs just after he'd eaten breakfast (of which he'd never given any to the adolescent martial artist). Even more recently, Ranma had been forced awake, if not by his father tossing him out the window into the koi pond, then by his fiance, Akane Tendo, splashing a bucket of cold water onto the sleeping young man. Either way, Ranma barely spent the morning as a boy. Strangely, under normal circumstances, this would seem odd. However, as it was, this was most definitely not a normal circumstance. No, Ranma had been cursed to turn into an amazingly cute red-headed girl due to a mishap on his training journey of ten years. Said mishap also caused his father to become a rather large panda, so Ranma was glad he wasn't alone in the curse department. Anyway, back to the matter at hand.
Ranma woke up early on this particular summer day. There was indeed a reason that Ranma was allowed to awaken on his own. He was alone in the house, aside from the ever-present Kasumi. Ranma smiled gently as his thoughts caressed that particular topic. Kasumi was the only person in Nerima that gave him any reprieve whatsoever from the day-to-day chaos. Truth be told, Ranma loved Kasumi. No, it wasn't that kind of love, it was the kind of love he'd been wanting to give someone for ten years of his life. The love from a son to his mother. Sure, Ranma's real mother had shown up, but, truth be told, Ranma really didn't feel anything RESEMBLING love coming from her. All she felt was important was the gods-be-damned seppuku pledge to be a "man-among-men". Ranma scowled as that thought entered his mind, and he promptly drowned it as he stepped out of his room with a spare outfit for after his bath. A few quick splashes and fifteen minutes later, Ranma was toweling himself off as he entered the kitchen, still shirtless from the bath.
Ranma sat down after giving Kasumi a good morning hug, something he had little chance to do when the house was full. "Mornin', Kas-chan. What's fer breakfast?" inquired the martial artist. A gentle giggle from Kasumi elicited a grin on Ranma's part.
"Now, now, Ranma-kun. You know I won't accept that kind of talk at the breakfast table," was the eldest Tendo's retort. She mockingly brandished her large wooden spoon at the poor boy, who was sweeping his long hair over his shoulder. He hadn't felt like putting it into its trademark pigtail after that bath. Kasumi giggled again as Ranma stood and bowed low, taking on a mocking air as he swept his hair over his shoulder once again.
"My apologies, fair damsel. I did not mean to distress thee with mine uncouth slang. Such as it is, I am unworthy to bask in your most divine presence! Hark! For I shall this day give up mine ungodly ways and follow in the hallowed footsteps of the lovely goddess that is Kasumi Tendo, divine lady of the kitchen and household!" Ranma was getting pretty good at his Kuno impression. Kasumi giggled yet again as Ranma sat down at the table once more.
"Oh, my, Ranma-kun! Your hair...it's different today. Would you like me to put it up for you?"
Ranma was surprised at the offer, but smiled gently. He had been having more trouble with it of late. He'd had to keep pinning the excess hair he was growing under his ears or wrap it back around his pigtail. Ranma nodded, a small smile on his face. "Sure thing, Kasumi. Ya know, I was wonderin' if ya might be able ta put it up in a braid 'stead of a pigtail this time around."
Kasumi frowned slightly as she held Ranma's shoulder-length locks in her hands. She sighed. "I'm sorry, Ranma-kun, but I don't think a braid would look good on you with this amount of hair. A ponytail, though, would look very nice on you. Better even than your pigtail. Why the sudden change, though?"
Ranma smirked as he let Kasumi put his hair up in a slightly-shorter-than-shoulder-length ponytail, leaving the sections of his bangs he'd ben wrapping into his pigtail fall like twin tails next to his temples to shoulder length. "Eh, I just felt like a change, Kas-chan. With your family an' Pops down at the beach with Ukyo an' them, I thought maybe now's the perfect time for it." With that, the young man before Kasumi quickly put on his shirt and looked into the koi pond at his reflection. "Awesome job, Kas-chan. I love the new look."
Kasumi practically glowed, but then frowned as she looked at the kitchen clock. "Oh my. I'm going to be late, Ranma-kun. Are you sure you'll be fine all by yourself for three days?" She bit her thumbnail nervously as she stared at the peaceful young man sitting at the entrance to the kitchen from the back yard.
"Yeah, I'll be fine Kas-chan. You go on out an' see your cousin. You need some free time, I'm sure I'll be fine. Be better than if it were just me an' Akane." Ranma visibly shuddered at that thought. Kasumi frowned. She had thought, once, that Ranma and Akane really did love each other under their warring exteriors. But Ranma seemed to be growing further away from the girl with every single mallet strike to the head. And nowadays, it seemed that Akane had a malicious grin each time she pelted the poor boy. Kasumi merely nodded her head and proceeded to the front door. As she reached for her coat, she felt a pair of arms wrap around her in a brotherly hug.
"I'll be fine, Kas-chan. Alls I gotta know is that you're gonna be okay, an' I'll be fine. Engagement an' Pops notwithstanding, I feel like you're the only family I have, Kasumi, really. Now you go an' have fun with your cousin."
Kasumi blushed brilliantly as Ranma poured his heart out like that. It felt nice to know that Ranma felt that way, it would help with all of the problems his lfe had. As she stepped into her waiting taxi, she gave Ranma a final goodbye wave, to which he waved back. Once her cab was out of sight, Ranma was sidling off to the phone. He dialed a quick few numbers and waited for the person on the other line to pick up.
[Hello, Goddess Relief Hotline, we'll have a...oh, of course, Father. A representative will be by shortly.]
Ranma placed the phone on the reciever, wondering if he'd gotten a wrong number, and looked into his pocket. No, he'd dialed the number correctly. Maybe Hiroshi had given him a wrong number? No, he recognized it perfectly as the number of his friend.
Ranma's thoughts were interrupted as a voice that could only be described as sexiness itself came from behind him. He damn near jumped thirty feet into the air, but because he knew that would be quite painful because of the ceiling that would interrupt such a jump, he kept his feet on the ground. He turned around somewhat shakily to see a tall, very well-formed woman standing in front of him. Her platinum hair accentuated her revealing attire, which in turn accentuated her voluptuous curves. Ranma, however, was paying more attention to the facial markings than anything. She had a strange triangular mark in the center of her forehead, and two triangular marks below and slightly to the outer rim of her eyes.
"Er....hi. Uh....who're you?"
Urd, Goddess of the Past, second class, chuckled slightly as she took in the man before her. She drank in his handsome, angular face and the midnight black hair that framed his face. She took in the confident stance with which he held himself and knew instinctively that he was a fighter, and felt that that green silk shirt and the tight black jeans (he'd opted not to wear his loose silk pants, they were too hot in the summer.) suited him. Then she looked into his eyes. Her first reaction was to drown inside those icy blue depths, but as she pulled herself together, she noticed for the first time the horrible pain hidden within those mirthless orbs. The pain of having had to kill, the agony of being alone. Urd recognized the last one easily. She herself had been alone ever since Troubadour had dumped her.
"My name is Urd, Goddess of the Past, second class, and I am here to grant you a wish."
Urd nearly started when Ranma just shrugged and sat down on the living room sofa. She was so shocked she almost missed him pat the sofa cushion next to him as an invitation to sit, but she didn't, and soon both were situated comfortably on the sofa.
"You're taking this rather well, Ranma."
Ranma merely shrugged. "When ya can make tornadoes, throw around ki blasts, an' half the people ya know can turn into different things with just an application'a cold water, ya kinda get desensitized to tha supernatural." Ranma's eyes took on a wistful quality that Urd could easily identify with.
"I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."
Again, a shrug. "Eh, it's okay. If I ain't used to it by now, I ain't never gonna get used to it....Pops, Mom, Tendo-san, Akane...all of it's just...just..well....it's painful, but ya get used to it."
Urd smiled. She'd help him out by talking with him first, then maybe he'd be able to make a wish based on what they'd discussed. Mentally patting herself on the back, Urd shifted in her seat.
"Why don't you talk about it? I'd like to hear all about it, Ranma."
He couldn't explain why, and later on, he still wouldn't be able to figure it out. Maybe it was that she was a goddess, maybe it was just that he'd needed to gush to somebody besides Doctor Tofu and Kasumi, but he found himself expelling his entire life story to the goddess. And the day wore on....
--------------------5 hours and two pizza deliveries later--------------------
"......and the last thing I saw was a coupla okonomiyaki bombs, Shampoo throwin' some weird shit at me, and Happosai glowin' mad, headin' right at me, and then BAM, lights out. That happened just before school let out a coupla months ago. Sometimes, it feels so hopeless, Urd...lie...like I'm fightin' a losin' battle, an' the only way ta win....is ta die."
Urd was shaking with barely repressed rage. How could Father allow this poor boy to suffer like this?! How did he manage to stay sane?!?! Urd's anger had blossomed when she'd heard how Genma had taught Ranma "the right way to fall" by tossing him off of their roof when he was five. It had grown significantly when she heard about the seppuku pledge. How could a mother let her own son go so easily, and ask for his LIFE if he didn't meet up to her outdated and perverted standards?! The anger became a full-blown fury when she heard about the Neko-ken. She'd have to talk to Bast about that, and soon. She fell into a nearly uncontrollable rage when she heard about Genma's "training methods", such as slamming Ranma into a tree to toughen him up, making him run while tied to a train headed for Kyoto to build his speed, making him wade upriver while carrying a load of rocks and provisions Genma had had him steal (yet another training method that Genma disguised as a game) to build strength, and making him run away from a pack of wolves while carrying his fat father and all of their provisions to build strength, endurance, and speed. When she heard about Jusenkyo and all the details around it, Urd exploded in a furious tirade threatening Genma's life thousands of times over. She simmered until she heard about the Amazon village incident, and just when her temper was beginning to come down from a boil, Ranma told her about Akane's betrayal and the nonsense about it "being different when a girl sees a boy". Urd wanted some retribution, damn the consequences. Urd had developed a nasty twitch as she heard all about Akane's repeated beatings, Ukyo's use of her "friendship" with Ranma to score points on the fiance board, and Shampoo's mockery of his personal space, Fortunately, Ryoga and Mousse had toned down their attacks and accepted Ranma as a friend, more or less. Still, Mount Urd was ready to erupt when Ranma finished this last part of his story. She almost beamed with pride at the young man before her. He deserved at LEAST a dozen wishes for putting up with his life and staying sane, and he deserved a dozen more for taking care of that upstart Saffron. She smiled, albeit strainedly, at the martial artist that was now crying in her arms.
"Ranma...you've put up with so much. It's a wonder you're still sane. I've only met you today, yet still I can't help but feel proud of you."
Ranma smiled as he leaned comfortably against Urd. It felt nice to be held like this. Truth be told, it felt like he'd found a sister, somebody to confide all of his secrets in. He settled down and sighed. Life was so unfair.
"I wish I were a god so I could have a sister like you."
Ranma jumped back and took a fighting stance as he heard Urd gasp. He looked around for the threat until he noticed Urd's marks glowing brightly. She turned to face him.
Ranma felt a searing nausea overwhelm him as he fell to his knees. His body began to glow intermittently, then sudenly exploded in a cacophony of light. His body suddenly shot straight up into the air, hovering at least three feet off the ground, and a noiseless scream could be felt as Urd stared at the young man. As suddenly as it had begun, it stopped. Dazed and confused, he fell to his knees. Nothing visible had changed, but Urd knew that that would change momentarily.
"I granted your wish."
Ranma shook his head to clear it, then gaped widely at Urd. Then his last words before the light show began came to mind and he bashed himself upside the head. Saotome foot-in-mouth does it again. Just as he was about to ask Urd some more questions, a bolt of lightning could be heard to strike the ground just outside the Tendo home. Urd walked outside, and Ranma followed. There, in the back yard, was a smoking message that Ranma coud not read. As he stared at it, it slowly began to make sense to him. Just before he could fully understand it, Urd took him by the arm and led him back inside.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's up!?!"
Urd turned to the poor boy that she was dragging along. She sighed and looked him dead in the eye. "Kami-sama wishes to speak with both of us, so I'm going to take you to Asgard so we can get this cleared up. By the way, you've got a new sister."
Before Ranma could piece that together, Urd had dragged him into the television set. How she managed that was beyond him.
Nauseous. That's how he felt, nauseous. It was par for the course, today, but still, it was getting annoying. As he reeled from the trip through T.V. Land, Urd was leading him through a lushly decorated building to Kami-sama's office. He didn't notice the lush landscape and the odd change in decor, from middle ages-European to ancient Norse to ancient Egyptian to modern times to a futuristic look for a while, but he did eventually notice the rather huge tree that seemingly housed everything around him. As he entered the office, Urd on his heels, he took note of a secretary sitting at the desk. Ranma looked around a took a seat. Urd, meanwhile, walked up to the secretary.
"Hey, Inca, we're here for an appointment with Kami-sama."
"Oh, hi, Urd. Hmm, let me see.....yes, you and a...Ranma Saotome? have an appointment. He'll see you right now."
Urd smiled and took Ranma by the hand, leading the young man into the office of God himself. Now, Ranma was not very religious by nature, oh, no. He was rather in the dark when it came to such ceremonies and religion because of his upbringing at the hands of his father. However, even he did not expect what he saw before him. A tall man, dressed in a spritely business suit, was clipping a bonsai. A frown creased his features, but he shook it off, placed his clippers on the desk, and turned towards his guests, revealing a patch over his left eye. Ranma gasped slightly.
"Hello, Father." Urd smiled as she gazed once more upon her father's figure. She sighed as she looked at the eye-patch. Oh, well.
"Er..h.....h...hell.....hello, K-k-kami-sama...." Ranma was alternating between prostrating himself and bowing profusely. Urd developed a sweatdrop at this, but decided to let it go even as Kami-sama began chuckling. Ranma ceased his frantic activities and looked up.
"PLEASE, STAND, RANMA. YOU ARE NO DOUBT WONDERING WHY I ALLOWED YOU TO BECOME A GOD?" He didn't wait for the nod. "RANMA, YOU POSSESS A NOBLE SPIRIT AND A DESIRE TO DO RIGHT. YOU ALWAYS SEEK OUT THE HONORABLE PATH. I HAVE NEED OF SUCH A GOD, AND URD HAS ALSO NEEDED COMPANIONSHIP ASIDE FROM HER THREE SISTERS. YOUR WISH WAS THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY FOR ME. YOU CAN STILL RETURN TO YOUR HUMANITY, BUTKNOW THAT THIS IS THE LAST TIME THIS OFFER SHALL FALL TO YOU. DO YOU ACCEPT GODHOOD, OR WILL YOU RETURN TO YOUR HUMANITY?"
Ranma considered it. On the one hand, he would become a god, with responsibilities and powers that humans could not comprehend. As a human, he'd go right back into that mess he called a life, the life that he was about to break him apart. But he had friends down there, or at least, he thought he did. Ukyo never really paid attention to him as a friend, Shampoo probably didn't even know what the word meant, and Akane....Akane'd killed that chance when she pelted Ranma upsided the head with the kitchen table that first day. Then Ranma looked at Urd and saw something he'd never had before. A friend, a sister. Ranma turned to Kami-sama and bowed his head.
Kami-sama smiled benevolently. He's known what Ranma would choose. Even if it was just out of the goodness of his heart, he would have chosen to be a god. Yes, Ranma would make a fine god indeed. "I KNOW, MY SON."
Ranma was prepared for anything...except Kami-sama disappearing. Ranma almost managed to voice out a cry for help until he found a palm barely inches away from his face. His mind barely made the connection that it belonged to Kami-sama before the whole world went white.....
Cologne started as her favorite tea cup shattered in her hands. Cologne narrowed her eyes.
What's wrong, Great-grandmother? Xian Pu was worried. That was her great-grandmother's favorite cup, and she'd had it enchanted in tune with Ranma's ki just in case something untoward happened to Xian Pu's airen.
Cologne, for her part, stared shocked at the remians of her cup. The way it shattered meant that Ranma's ki was completely snuffed out...and the only way for ki to be snuffed out was for the individual to the rest of the Nerima crew....I think that a proud warrior has died this day. And speak Japanese, child!" If Ranma really was dead, then it became all the more important for Xian Pu to be able to speak proper Japanese. So the violet-tressed young woman did not escape a painful thwack to the head even as she let out a bone-chilling wail.
Ranma collapsed into Urd's arms, shaking like a leaf on a tree in a hurricane. He nearly collapsed to his knees, but Urd held him up and looked to Kami-sama. The All-Father smiled knowingly and picked up his pruning shears, retreating once again to his bonsai.
"DO NOT WORRY, DAUGHTER. HE WILL BE ALRIGHT. TAKE HIM TO THE SYSTEM AND FIND OUT WHAT HE IS TO BE INFLUENCING, AND DO NOT FORGET TO GET HIM HIS ANGEL."
Urd nodded, but not before Ranma stood up shakily. The boy looked at Kami-sama with awe in his eyes. "What..what was that? Why do I hurt so bad?"
Yet another all-knowing smile was his answer, though it quickly turned into a frown as he got stuck on a branch. Ranma stepped forward and deftly clipped the back of the branch, bringing yet another smile to Kami-sama's face. "MY SON, YOU WERE REBORN. YOUR ESSENCE WAS REMADE TO THAT OF A GOD, AND FOR THAT, YOU NEEDED TO DIE. YOU ARE NOW COMPLETELY A GOD. GO WITH URD NOW, MY SON. YOU AND YOUR SISTER HAVE A LOT OF CATCHING UP TO DO."
"Yes, Father." Ranma nodded and began walking away, and Urd saw his face for the first time since entering the office. Upon his brow was a yin-yang, and in his hair were streaks of red. An odd pair of slash marks appeared just underneath his eyes, like jagged cat scratches. Urd took Ranma's hand and began leading the new god away. Both turned when Kami-sama could be heard clearing his throat.
"RANMA? THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP WITH THE BONSAI. IT LOOKS PERFECT."
A blush was his only answer as Ranma was led off to the system administrators for his information and his angel.
------------------Streets of Asgard(1)----------------
"So now you really are my sister?"
"It's more of a title than anything else, we could still do things romantically. Hell, over in the Olympian pantheon they have trouble keeping Zeus from having sex with his own CHILDREN!"
"That's...od-whoa!! Check that guy out!"
Ranma was rubbernecking like crazy, taking in all the sights. Currently, they were walking towards the administration hall, and Urd was explianing all that he'd need to know about being a god. And Urd was having fun. Not that she'd admit it, at least not to Ranma, but it was hilarious watching him try to absorb all the sights of Asgard while taking in his necessary know-how.
"Now, Ranma, you no longer have ki. I know you don't like magic much, but you're pretty much made out of it now."
"Instead of ki, you have something that's called mana. It's the life essence of gods and goddesses. Because of this, you're no longer going to be able to use your ki attacks, nor will ki attacks affect you. You will, however, need to learn how to use magic. It's really easy, once you get used to it, and people who've had experience with ki normally learn all of the necessary magic steps very, very quickly. Ah, here we are. Let's just get over to my terminal and find out what you've got." Urd grinned as Ranma took in the different forms of goddesses around him. Many wore revealing, risque clothing. Still others wore armor and odd, horned helmets. A few, wearing strange golden robes and headdresses, resembled animals. Luckily for Ranma, Bast was back home in her own pantheon with Sekhmet and Ptah. He didn't realize that, however, and settled for following Urd to her terminal. Said goddess sat in her chair and swept some long-built-up soda cans and crumbs from her desk, looking suitably embarrassed for the mess. She typed a few commands into her computer and came up with Ranma's information listing.
"Hmm....let's see...Name: Ranma Ohkami. No surprise there. Areas of Influence: Martial Arts, Rain, and Cats. Wow, that's a lot of influence. Category: Two. Class: Two. Probationary License. Damn, you're gonna have some serious power to throw around for a rookie. I guess Father's got a lot of confidence in you. Medium: Windows and Doorways. I don't get that...Weapon of Choice: Talon Claws. What're those? Secondary Energy Source: Alcohol. What the hell? You don't drink! Well, now you do. Affiliated Deities; Urd, Norn Goddess of the Past-Sister; Belldandy, Norn Goddess of the Present-Sister; Skuld, Norn Goddess of the Future-Sister; Raiden, Japanese God of Thunder and Lightning-Brother; Fujin, Japanese God of Winds and Gales-Brother; Bast, Egyptian Goddess of Pleasure-Mother; Sekhmet, Egyptian Goddess of War and Battle-Mother. Authorization: Probationary Level Two. So you're gonna get my authorization when you get your license. Well, first things first. Let's go get your claws and a rule book, then we go meet your brothers and your new mothers."
Ranma was confused as hell by everything she said, but it was too late. Before he could open his mouth, his sister was dragging him off to the Norse section of Asgard. Ranma wisely clapped his trap shut as they came upon a tall log building with a pair of huge oak doors before them. Urd opened the doors and pushed Ranma into the building, where he ended up right in front of some form of counter. A tall, eye-patched woman with a large amount of armor looked down at him and smiled.
"Hi, Hilda. Meet Ranma, my brother. Ranma, this is the Valkyrie Hilda. She runs the armory."
The woman grinned and toussled Ranma's hair. Ranma would have protested this, but his mind had shut down completely upon seeing the racks of weapons behind the counter.
"Brother, eh? Well, ya been needin' one, in ma opinion, lass. Ah, well. Me guess is yeh're here fer 'is weapon, aye? 'Ell, let's get back there. What's 'is weapon, eh, Urd?"
"Talon Claws, whatever those are."
"Talon Claws? Aye, Ah know what those weapons are. Aye, good choice fer a fighter, if Ah may say so."
Ranma managed to snap out of his trance as he followed the two goddesses into a section of shelves, through a door Ranma had not previously seen. Right in front of Ranma was a HUGE selection of broadswords, longswords, and axes. A shelf over, there were handaxes, broadaxes, throwing axes, and hatchets. Yet another shelf over, there were knives, katana, daggers, tanto, and wakizashi all over the place. They came upon another door, labelled "Dynasty", and here, the valkyrie stopped.
"In here's where yeh'll find all ken of claws, spears, and other such weaponry. Reason the claws're put in here...well....yeh're gonna meet 'im."
She opened the door, ushered Urd and Ranma in, and closed in behind her. The trio followed a narrow hallway until the came upon a group of three people sparring. One, a tall man with long, flowing hair was dressed in a red robe of sorts, with a leather drape embossed in gold on his shoulders, much like an odd breastplate. He carried a long blade with a sharp curve at the tip and odd veins of light blinking in its edge. Another, a man with a hairstyle much like Ranma's, wearing a jade breastplate, armlets, and shin guards wielded a fiery spear with a red tassle underneath the cruelly-barbed head. The third, wearing only an odd violet shoulder guard on his right shoulder, carried a pair of daggers. His violet silk pants and ponytail seemed to suit him well. Upon seeing that they had company, the trio ceased their battles and looked towards Ranma. All three bowed, and Ranma bowed back.
"Er...hi. I'm Ranma, the new God of Martial Arts, Rain, and Cats."
At this, all three chuckled slightly and bowed again. The man in green stepped forward.
"I am Zhao Yun, formerly of the Shu Dynasty, Chinese God of War and Morale. My weapon is the unbeatable Fierce Dragon!"
As he stepped back with a flourish of his spear, the man in red stepped forward.
"I am Zhou Yu, former retainer to Sun Ce of the Wu Dynsaty and the Chinese God of Tactics and Battle. I wield the ageless Ancient Sword!"
He swept his blade in a defiant manner before settling back to his place. The third stepped forward and grinned, sweeping his hands in an exaggerated bow before standing up with a flourish.
"I, Zhang He, former general of the Wei Kingdom and Chinese God of Beauty, am at your service, Lord Ranma. I assume you are here for a weapon?"
Ranma shook off the sweatdrops that had accumulated on his head and smiled.
"Yeah, I'm here to get an...uh...a Talon Claw?"
Zhang He turned back to the other two with a triumphant grin and led Ranma over to the purple section of the room. He quickly thumped the floor three times, and the wall before him turned an equal number of times. Suddenly, before Ranma lay a whole fleet of claws. He shook unsteadily as he combed through the selection. He picked up a set of cruel claws, but discarded them. Over the course of half an hour, Ranma just couldn't find a set of claws that would suit him. As he reached the last set of claws, he turned to Zhang He.
"Sorry, but none of these seem ta fit me. Ya got anymore?"
Zhang He smiled knowingly, then turned to the other two Chinese Gods.
"Well, my friends. It seems that I won our bet. My weapon shall be the first to return to the mortal realm!"
As Ranma wondered what he meant, he turned and saw Zhang He bring out a locked box. With a quick turning of a key that hung from the bottom of one of his daggers, Zhang He looked to Ranma.
"Many ages ago,
nearly eighteen hundred years, there were three kingdoms in China.
Thses three kingdoms, each powerful in their own right, were merely
fragments of the former glorious Han Dynasty. Each of these dynasties
had powerful warriors, but none of these warriors could lead the armies
to battle without some form of blessing from the gods. We three, each
the most skilled beyond our commanders, were each gifted a weapon from
the gods, the weapons we named."
Zhang He slowly pushed the box around so that he could open it quickly.
"Ranma, my friend, what I am about to give you was a personal gift to me from a good friend of mine. His name was Cao Cao, and he made me what I am today. These claws served me well in my life, and I hope they shall do the same for you in the deity realm. I have a new set of weapons, my daggers, but I hope you use my Peacock Talons well."
With that, Zhang He lifted the lid of the box and reverently handed Ranma a pair of intricate claws. As Ranma held them, he took one and held ranma's arm out. With great care, Zhang He placed the gloved underside on Ranma's hand, a perfect fit. Tying off the thongs, he turned and did the same for the other claw. Within moments, Ranma had both of the claws' intricately decorated handguards situated perfectly on his wrists, the ovular jewel in the center of the feathered guard settled exactly over the back of each hand. All in all, tp Ranma, it was perfect. He gave them a few experimental slashes, and found himself doing backflips and intricate dash-and-slashes. As Ranma did a trange two-slash maneuver in a straight line horizontally in front of him. As he finished, he saw glowing purple lines of energy forming where the five claws of each talon passed through the air. Ranma couldn't place it, but those lines of energy felt DEADLY. He reached out to touch one even as it faded away, but Zhang He caught his hand.
"No, young lord. The talons have taught you to wield them effectively, and you unleashed their Vorpal energies. Those lines of energy are lethal. If your will is not strong enough, they can kill you instantly. If your will overpowers them, you still will not walk away unscathed. Go, young master, and use those claws well. Their history will speak for them, if you care to listen."
"I thank you with all of my heart, Master Zhang He. May you find adventure wherever you wish it."
"The same to you, Ranma. I feel that Asgard is very lucky to have found you."
With two long, sweeping bows, Ranma and Zhang He parted ways as Urd led Ranma back to the front of the armory. Ranma didn't dare trying to remove the claws, and Urd was almost having giggling fits until Hilda reentered the room.
"Havin' problems, eh, young one? Jest will the claws into subspace."
Ranma stared openmouth at the women, but picked up on what she'd said easily enough. Within seconds, the claws had vanished from his hands. When he willed them back, they were once again tied perfectly on. Urd grinned as she grabbed Ranma and pushed him to the doorway.
"Hey, Ranma, hold up. Let's let YOU get us to the Egyptian pantheon."
"Huh?" Of course, becoming a god had had little impact on the intelligence of Ranma's answers.
"Your medium's doorways and windows, so just focus on getting us to Ptah's throne room. Here, I'll put the image in your head, then you lead us there."
Placing a hand on Ranma's brow, he was soon treated to an image of the throne room of the Egyptian pantheon. Focusing on that image, he walked through the doorway with Urd's hand on his shoulder. When he opened his eyes...in front of him stood a hybrid cat woman.
And within mere moments, there was a rather large Ranma-shaped dent in the back wall of said throne room. Bast's eyes took on a hurt look even as she changed into a tall, lovely black-haired woman with a curious ankh-shaped mark in the center of her head. She was extremely disturbed. Sure, she'd read the latter half of Ranma's file, the last five or so years, and she and Sekhmet had already fallen for his honorable nature and unwillingness to harm girls, as well as his indomitable will and strength to carry on despite the curse and constant harships living in Nerina had caused him. But to see her new son rubbernecking like crazy, searching for the cat, was just plain hurtful. She turned to Urd, who in reply handed her the first half of Ranma's mortal file and another, faded manual, on the cover of which could be read "The Training Manual of Unbeatable Techniques Most Likely To Either Kill or Drive the Trainee Insane". Bast looked at the manual nervously before reading up on Ranma's file. When she got to age six and read up on the Neko-ken, Urd and Ranma had to retreat to about thirty feet away, her battle aura was so intense.
"THAT'S IT! SOMEBODY DIES!!!!!!!! NOBODY HURTS MY FAMILY AND GETS AWAY WITH IT, YOU HEAR ME, SAOTOME?!?!?! NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Ranma was shivering from the cold, yeah! He was shivering from the cold, even though it was broad daylight in the Egyptian desert. His shivering had nothing to do with the angry goddess of pleasure before him. Before he could react, though, he felt a pair of slender arms still warm from the battle aura wrap around him in a motherly hug. Ranma, confused as ever, looked up and found Bast holding him gently, though that steely look in her eyes that she was directing to the east was rather disturbing. Another figure, bearing the same ankh sybol as Bast, walked in and saw Ranma in Bast's arms. After picking up the file and manual, and yet another display of goddessly power, Ranma found himself enveloped in a three-person hug. Just as he was getting REALLY comfortable in the arms of his two mothers, they held him at arm's length.
"Son, we've got to cure you of this fear and teach you the True Neko-ken."
"H-how? Mom? Huh?"
Both goddesses shared a grin, like the cat that ate the canary.
"You've got to face...your fear."
A/N:(1)I don't know the layout of Asgard, so I'm winging it. Leave me alone.
If anybody asks, I made Ranma such a god to be evil. I mean, come on. Martial arts, yeah, we all know he's a genius, so that was obvious. Rain? What better to annoy the piss out of Ryouga, Mousse, and Shampoo? Cats? Oh, THAT'S just to be evil against Ranma. Reason I made his energy source alcohol is because Soun and Genma are always drinking. Easy access to a quick power boost. Doorways and windows for a medium? I read it in another fanfic that Ranma's medium was doorways, and it was the best I can think of. Tell me what you think!