Mirrored Delusions

Rating: PG-13 Pairing: Cute Boy God/Joan (mostly undertones until the end)
Summary: After being diagnosed with Lyme Disease, Joan looses her faith as well as her perceived role in the world. Thinking she hallucinated her missions from God, she turns away from those she loves. Can God himself convince her to start living again? Or will she continue to ignore him as a mere figment of her imagination?

A.N.: Catching Insanity is finished. I may write a sequel at some point in the future, so keep checking back. Hope you enjoy my new Joan/CBG adventure.

Withdrawal

The hospital room was rapidly becoming claustrophobic to Joan the longer she stayed. After running a battery of tests and prescribed antibiotics she was released three days after she was admitted. The hospital wanted to keep up her therapy visits once a week for a month or so, to make sure she acclimated well to her surroundings, and discusses any hallucinations as they happened.

The medicine they gave her would take a couple weeks or so to settle into her blood stream to become effective. Joan did not share her hallucinations with her therapist, or anyone else, especially after Adam's disappointing reaction. Instead she was remarkably closed-mouthed and only mentioned that she thought Price was the devil, not so far from the truth as far as she was concerned. Whenever her family seemed as if to bring it up, Joan adeptly changed the subject.

Joan spent her first day home cloistered in her room refusing to leave it, even when her mother practically begged her to come down for dinner. She only moved from her bed reluctantly when her stomach began growling and even so it was late into the night. Joan walked quietly down the stairs, tiptoeing passed her family's rooms so as to not wake anyone up. She entered the kitchen and immediately went to the refrigerator to look for cold cuts to make a sandwich. With her head in the fridge she was surprised when a hand landed on her shoulder. She cut off a shriek as she whipped around, her heart just about pounding from her chest.

"What… Geez Dad, don't do that!"

"Sorry honey, but you didn't see me at the table." He told her gesturing to the glass of warm milk on the far side of the table. "Want me to make you something to eat?"

"Well I was just going to make a sandwich." Joan mumbled, backing out of the fridge.

"Nonsense. How about a nice ham and cheese omelet?"

"Sounds good."

"Take a seat."

Joan sat on a nearby stool as her father broke three eggs and milk mixed into a frying pan. As the eggs cooked he chopped some cheese and ham as Joan watched silently.

"You are really worrying your mother." Will told his daughter, while watching the omelet. "I wish you would just talk to us. We want to help you."

"I'm fine." Joan answered coldly, turning away from her father. "I just want to be alone."

"I've noticed. Did you get into a fight with Adam?"

"What do you mean?"

"He hasn't been to visit the last few days." Will pointed out.

Joan lowered her head to the kitchen table dejectedly, thinking over Adam's absence, even when she got out of the hospital. Even Grace was around more then Adam. He obviously thought she was insane.

"No fight, at least not really. It's complicated."

"You should call him." Will told her as he set a plate of eggs in front of her and watched her dig in enthusiastically. "It's not healthy for you to lock away the people who care about you like you're doing."

"I don't have anything to say to him. If he wants to talk he knows where to find me."

Joan didn't see her father's concerned look as she continued eating. Will left her at the table a few minutes later, when it became obvious that she had no intention of going back to bed. Sitting in the dim room alone, Joan let a few tears fall and finally fell into a restless sleep. She was unaware of a man watching her sadly from the window, hidden in shadow. As he walked away his jacket caught the moonlight and the button shone against the brown corduroy.