Title: Strange Evolution (1/1)
Author: Serenity G.
E-mail: sweet_serene99@hotmail.com mailto:sweet_serene99@hotmail.com

People other than me own Buffy and all her funny little friends, a situation I am less than happy about. Grr


"My back hurts," Xander complained. "We've been doing this for hours."

"Oh, don't be such a baby," said Buffy. "I'd have you know that lots of men enjoy doing this sort of thing for hours on end."

"I bet that's because their backs don't hurt," he continued to whine.

"It's only been like, what, five hours?" Buffy said. "Stop whining."

"I'm really tired," said Xander weakly. "I want to rest. Come on, we've been doing this all night already."

"But we haven't even started yet!" said Buffy. "You can't take a break now."

"Look, my back really hurts and…"

"It's not like it's anything you haven't done before!"

"It's not like I've done it for five hours straight before!"

"What about your road trip?" shot back Buffy. "Don't tell me you didn't do it then."

"That doesn't count! That was fun!"

"Are you saying I'm not fun?" Buffy said.

"I didn't say that, I'm just saying…"

"Will you two just bloody shut up already?" came a voice from the backseat. "I'm about to tear my freaking ears out!"

"Then do it," said Buffy, looking back. "Nobody's stopping you."

Spike mimicked Buffy's words at the back of her head, before pretending to vomit.

"All I'm saying is," Xander continued, "Is that I've been driving non-stop for five hours and all I really want is to sleep."

"Why don't you just switch?" chirped in Willow who was in the backseat as well. "You can get some rest while Buffy drives."

"Yeah, *eternal* rest," said Xander. "Have you seen her drive?"

"Excuse me?" exclaimed Buffy.

"Oh, for Christ's sake! Shut up already!" Spike yelled. "I've had it up to here with your yammering!"

"Stop being so touchy," said Tara, who was sitting next to Willow.

"If you were going to torture me with this crap," said Spike, "The least you could do was remove the bloody handcuffs so I can beat myself to death."

"We can't," said Buffy, "Because if we did, you might try to jump out of the car and escape, which means Xander would have to run you over, and since you're kind of immortal it is going to be very messy and we are *not* driving with a mangled vampire in the backseat. It's embarrassing."

"I'll tell you what's embarrassing," mumbled Spike. "Being stuck with you goody-two-shoes."

"Why did we have to take him along?" asked Xander.

"The spell needs a vampire for it to work," said Buffy. "You try finding me another vampire that will sit in a car with us and won't try to kill us all."

"I can think of one…" muttered Xander under his breath.

"Oh, no, you see that won't work," said Willow, who had heard Xander's mumbling. "What with Angel having a soul everything."

"I was just asking," said Xander meekly. "Can we stop now?"

"It's only one o'clock," said Buffy. "If we stop now, then we'll have to wait for tomorrow night before we can make a move. We'll be wasting precious time."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know that *sleeping* was considered a waste of time. Excuse me," said Xander.

"You know, Buffy," Willow added. "I'm actually kind of sleepy myself."

"I told you all to sleep before we left!" said Buffy. "Didn't I tell you that?"

"Yes, you did," said Xander. "But you also told me to check the car, fill it with gas, pack my bags, and prepare snacks… in an hour. Between all that it kinda left me very little time to sleep."
"Well, it was a very big surprise, okay? You blame Giles. If he had researched faster we would have had more time," said Buffy. "So don't you say this is my fault."

"How come he got to stay home anyway?" asked Willow innocently. "Not that I'm having a gay old time with you guys right now."

"Was that a pun?" asked Spike.

Willow and Tara gave Spike a sizzling look.

"Giles and Anya are working on the spell from home," explained Buffy. "We need you two to cast the spell from the other location… with Spike."

"Blah, blah, blah," went Spike. "I don't think it's very fair of you sods to drag me all the way without my consent whatsoever. I have rights, you know!"

"Relax," said Buffy. "It's not like it's going to kill you or anything. And even if it does … oh joy!"

Spike said nothing but chose to sulk quietly.

"Ooh! OOH! Motel! MOTEL!" said Xander excitedly, pointing to a sign by the side of the road.

"Hands on the wheels!" said Buffy.

"I'm pulling over," said Xander. "I can barely keep my eyes open."

"Oh, yes," said Willow. "A nice comfortable bed for Willow."

"But I'm not even sleepy!" protested Buffy. "Come on, come on, I'll drive."

"No offence, Buffy, but I've seen you play Daytona, and that just freaked me out," said Xander, pulling over into the motel's parking lot.

"It's not like there are any *cliffs* out here!"

"I'm gonna check us in," said Xander, ignoring her. "You guys can wait here."

* * *

"Okay, goodnight!" said Buffy quickly as she opened the door to her room and stepped inside.

"Wait!" said Xander. "How come you get the single room?"

"Well, Tara and Willow want their own room, and don't let me get into that right now, and you can't honestly expect me to bunk with Spike."

"Why not?"

"It's unethical," said Buffy. "He's a man, I'm a woman… and I don't like him very much."

"And I DO?"

"You two can talk about guy stuff. Cars. Women. Genocide."

"Look, you said you weren't sleepy. So you *take* the room with Spike and *you* watch over him."

"That is so not fair."

"Fair is just another four letter word, Buffy."

"What if he… takes advantage of me?"

"Oh, that is the *lamest* excuse I've heard from you yet!" said Xander. "You know, you could just at least pretend to have a real reason."

"I don't want to spend the night with Spike," said Buffy. She put on her sad, longing face. "Can't you just do this … for me?"

Resist, resist! Xander's mind told his heart.

"…Oh, all right."

D'oh! Xander slapped himself mentally.

"Thank you," said Buffy, smiling sweetly at him. "Goodnight."


Buffy had closed the door before he could finish.

* * *

"What the…" Buffy rubbed her eyes sleepily as the rude banging on the door shook her from her peaceful sleep. She glanced at the clock by her bedside and groaned. She dragged herself out of the bed and looked through the peephole. She sighed and opened the door.

"What is it, Xander?" she asked grumpily. "It's two o'clock."

"I thought you weren't sleepy," came his reply.

Buffy waved her hand as if it were a suitable response to his question. "What are you doing here?"

"Heh, funny story," said Xander, who was holding a can of Coke in his hand. "Spike locked me out of the room."

Buffy made a noise that sounded a lot like a whine. "Can't you just… ask him to open the door?"

"I tried. He won't."

"How did this happen?" asked Buffy, getting less sleepy by the second.

"I was thirsty," began Xander, "and there was no water in the room, those cheap bastards. So Spike conveniently mentioned that there was a vending machine outside, and so I went out, got a drink, and when I came back… oh well, Spike had locked the door."

"God," said Buffy. "Do I have to do everything?"

She dragged Xander to his room and began to pound on the door. "SPIKE! Open the door!"

"No!" came the muffled response.

"Open this door now!"


"I'm warning you, Spike…"


"Open the…"



"NO! Not until he says he's sorry!"

Buffy pursed her lips and then stared at Xander. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

Xander grinned sheepishly at her. "Okay, maybe I may have said something about… his… impotency."

"Oh, God."

"How was I supposed to know he was going to be so sensitive about it? It was only one comment!"

Buffy glared at Xander angrily.

"Coke?" Xander offered her his drink , sheepishly.

Buffy ignored him and pounded on the door again. "SPIKE! Open up!"


She turned back to Xander. "Apologize. Now."

Xander reluctantly walked to the door. "Spike… Look, I'm sorry I said … all that stuff. Okay? There! I said it! Can you open up now?"

"NO! You weren't sincere!" shot back Spike from inside the room.

"I said I was sorry!"

"You didn't mean it, you wank!"

"I DID!"

"You didn't!"

"Oh, I can't take anymore of this," said Buffy, shaking her head. "I'm going back."

"What am I going to do?" asked Xander. "He won't open the door!"

"Well, you only have yourself to blame," said Buffy, turning to go. "Goodnight, Xander."

"You can't leave me…" Xander begged. "Oh, hey! Can I bunk with you?"

Buffy's eyes widened. "No."

Xander followed Buffy all the way back to her room. "I won't be a bother. All I want to do is sleep."

"Go join Willow and Tara. It'll be like, Lesbian Paradise. You'll have fun. Goodnight."

"Don't you think it would be pretty crowded?"

"Well, maybe, but I'm sure you'll enjoy the view," said Buffy. "Goodnight, Xander. You know I've been saying that quite a lot. Have you been listening?"

"I don't snore, and … and I have no annoying bedtime habits," said Xander, who had apparently been not. "And… I drove five hours straight, so you have to pity me."

Buffy made her whining sound again. "Oh, all right." She pushed the door open and Xander gleefully stepped in. She sighed and closed the door behind him.

Xander quickly jumped under the covers and buried his head in the pillows.

"Hey, hey, hey, what are you doing?" asked Buffy, starring at him.

"In some countries, it is a strange custom known as … sleeping," said Xander, looking back at her. "Good night."

"We can't share a bed."

"Oh, you're absolutely right," said Xander. He got up and threw a pillow at her. "Take a pillow… the floor looks pretty hard."

"That's very gentlemanly of you," Buffy deadpanned, catching the pillow and throwing it back at him. "And I am not sleeping on the floor, thank you very much."

"Well, I guess it's goodnight bedmate then," said Xander, turning on his side.

"You're just enjoying this, aren't you," said Buffy. She sighed and climbed into the bed next to him. "I'll just let you know I'm not."

"Write me a letter and give it to me tomorrow, because I'm not listening to you anymore," said Xander sleepily. "Good night."

"Stop hogging the covers," said Buffy, pulling the covers over her.

"I'm cold!"

"Well, you can't just take all the covers," said Buffy grumpily.

Xander mumbled something inaudible and closed his eyes.

* * *

Xander's sweet dreams of a naked cavorting Buffy were rudely interrupted by a noisy, nudging Buffy.

"Xander! Xander!"

"Whe…huh?" Xander shook his head and tried to shake the sleep out of his eyes.

"You were talking in your sleep," said Buffy. "And I couldn't sleep."

"What did I say?" asked Xander , cautiously.

"You said 'that's right baby, touch me there'. It was kind of disturbing. You had a British accent," said Buffy.

"And you woke me up from *that*? Where are your manners?"

"I couldn't sleep," explained Buffy. "You were babbling pretty loud."

"Okay, I'm sorry, I'll try to keep it down." said Xander as he turned back on his side. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'll see if I can get back where I left off."

He was about to drift off to sleep when he felt somebody tapping him on the shoulder. He grumpily pushed the offending finger away from him, but soon it was tapping him again. He turned to the other side. "What?"

"Who were you dreaming about?" asked Buffy innocently.

"What? I thought you wanted to sleep."

"Oh, I can't sleep now that I've been awake for hours," chirped Buffy, before she repeated the question. "Who were you dreaming about?"

"None of your business."

"Come on! We never get to do all that buddy-buddy stuff, let's do that now," said Buffy.

"Buddy-buddy stuff?"

"You know, talk … and everything."

"Isn't there, like, buddy-buddy sleep or something? I'm really tired," Xander tried to fake a yawn but it didn't come out convincing enough.

"Come on, it'll be like Truth or Dare. Only without the Dare. And you don't get a turn."

"Nah, I'll pass."

"Is it Anya?"

"No," said Xander, before he realized that he said that a little too quickly. "Maybe," he added to cover it up, but he doubted it would work anyway.

"So, what's she like?" asked Buffy who was getting way too much into the conversation. "Is she pretty?"

What the heck, a little late night flirting never hurt anybody, Xander thought, before he answered. "Yeah… she is."

"Ooh, so this dream girl," said Buffy. "Is she smart?"

"No offence, Buffy, but I don't exactly dream that we're sitting our SAT's together," said Xander. "But I guess she is. In some ways."

"That's nice," said Buffy. "It's … wait. Why did you say no offence? Why would I take offence?"

"Sleepy now," said Xander quickly, before turning away from her quickly as soon as he realized he was blushing. "'Night."

"Is it me?" asked Buffy bluntly.

"Gosh, someone's sitting on a very high horse," said Xander, not looking at her.

"Xander," said Buffy, putting her arm on his shoulder and pulling him around to face her. "Is it?"

"Gahh… maybe," said Xander quietly beneath numerous mumblings and sounds.
"Oh," said Buffy softly. "Well… well… eh… well."

Xander didn't say anything.

"Xander," began Buffy, after a while. "You do know we're just friends, right? And.. and… we're… you know. Friends."

"Friends, yeah," said Xander, trying hard to hide his hurt and disappointment.

"And.. not just like, friends, and… but more… like best friends, because…" Buffy tried to get her point across clearly. "It would be wrong."


"Yeah, wrong."

"I get you."

"And if we do anything … it'll be just… well…"

"Wrong?" Xander finished for her.

"Yeah, that."

"Okay," said Xander sadly.

"And… so you know, that means we can't… oh what the crap," Buffy cut her words short and pulled Xander roughly towards her, pressing his lips against her own. She lied on her back and pulled Xander on top of her, putting her fingers underneath his shirt and scraping her fingernails across his back. Xander slowly led a trail of kisses from her lips to her neck, sucking on her flesh lovingly.

Buffy moaned his name softly in his ear, which seemed to excite him only more, as he ran his hands over her body, before stopping to lift her t-shirt over her head and tossing it across the room. Buffy giggled and hooked her thumb under the waistband of his pajama bottoms.

Xander smiled shyly at her and pulled the covers over them.

* * *

"Tara…" Willow shook her girlfriend roughly. "Wake up!"

Tara sat up reluctantly, not very pleased at being woken up. "What is it?"

"Do you hear something?" Willow asked.

They both stopped and listened to what Willow was talking about. There was a sound coming from the next room, and it sounded like a rhythmic thumping of some sort.

"Isn't it coming from Buffy's room?" Tara observed.

Willow's answer was interrupted by what sounded like a moan, followed by a few short gasps. "That's Buffy… we have to help her, she might be in trouble."

"Oh, I don't think she's in trouble," said Tara.

"What do you mean? She could be in serious danger!" said Willow, hopping out of bed quickly.

"Wait and see," said Tara shortly.

Willow waited, but she didn't see anything. Instead she heard another moan, only it was much deeper. Her eyes widened. "Oh. She's… they're…"

Tara nodded.

"Who's the…"

"Oh, god, Xander!" came another moan from the next room.

"Okay, question answered," said Willow, climbing back into bed. "This is a weird night."

* * *

Buffy ran her finger along Xander's arm, before she pulled the covers further up her naked body. An equally naked Xander smiled at her sheepishly.

"Buffy…" Xander asked her slowly. "This… when … when we… it wasn't a spur of a moment cast-aside thing… right?"

"I don't know," said Buffy. "But I hope not."

"How about the second time?"

"I don't know either."


"No idea."

"What about Riley?" asked Xander.

"I don't know that either," said Buffy. "I guess I'm not as smart as you thought, heh. What about Anya?"

"She doesn't have her powers, right?"


"We'll deal."

"So, what are we going to do now?"

"Sleep," said Xander. "In case you didn't notice, I didn't get much last night."

"And what am I going to do?"

"You mean you're not tired?" Xander asked in disbelief. "Sometimes Slayer strength can be so unfair."

"You didn't seem to be complaining last night."

"Ah, I'm just thankful for the little blessings."

Xander pulled her close to him and wrapped his arms around her, enjoying the feel of her flesh against his. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

* * * the end * * *