Title: You have got to be kidding
Status 1/?
Author: cathankitten
Beta: None
Rating: R
Spoilers:possible 1-4
Warnings: m/m Mpreg :
Disclaimer:This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Two young wizards from very different backgrounds, who were to the awareness of everyone they knew, each other's arch nemesis, were together deep in the Forbidden Forest. One with disheveled black hair and worldly green eyes and the other with white-blond hair, which looked as if the owner had attempted unsuccessfully to keep it combed out, and piercing grey eyes. Both of them showed signs from being out in the wilderness for months. Both were quite skinny from being malnourished, and had various cuts and bruises.

They laid willingly in one another's arms unaware that soon the witches and wizards, who had spend most of the past four months trying to locate them, were about to come upon them. The dark haired one laid on the ground his upper body leaning against a large oak tree, with the blond in front of him, lying against his chest. He watched as the other boy drifted in and out of sleep, and kept and eye on the forest around him. There were many dangerous in this thick maze of a forest, which he was well aware of. His eyes became heavy and he soon fell into a blissful sleep.

In the not so far distance the sound of several people's heavy feet treaded , in sporadic patterns, across the snow covered ground inches closer and closer to where the two young wizards where asleep.

"They are over here," a deep voice sounded, as someone came upon the two.

The voice belonged to, Severus Snape, the dark greasy haired potions master at Hogwarts. He was one of the five, who was looking for the two boys.

"Over where, Snape? You have to be more specific. I can hardly see anything around here now," another voice yelled out frantically to him

"Now, I thought you couldn't see anything normally, Black," Snape mumbled to himself, then called back to the other again so he could pinpoint the location.

He turned to see the one he yelled out to, was walking ,at a rapid pace, into the clearing where he was, followed closely by another wizard

"Are they alright? How is Har.." the one named Black began to inquire but stopped mid sentence when he saw the position the two young wizards were in.

The scruffy looking wizard with black hair and dark eyes, stood looking in disbelief at the two they had been searching for, for over four months now.

'What in the name of Merlin is Harry doing holding on to that spawn of a death eater? He can't have become friends or anything else with him. He must be under a spell.. that's it.. It's a spell' he wondered mentally.

"Potter appears to be fine, as is Malfoy. We most get the back to the infirmary to make sure. It would be wise for you to come over here and help me, rather then standing their gawking at them.

On second thought, maybe you should stay back there. I am sure Lupin is quiet capable of carrying Potter," Snape informed the stunned wizard who silently stood near by.

The tired looking wizard, with dark brown shoulder length hair, looked over at Snape "Of course we should hurry up and get them back now. They have been out here far to long as is,"he suggested

Snape nodded his head in agreement then bent down in front of the two young wizards. He put his glove covered hand on the black haired boys left arm.. He wanted to pick up the light haired one, Draco Malfoy, a member Slythern which was the house that Snape was head of. The other is Harry Potter, member of the rival house, Gryffindor, a boy who in Snape's mind got far too much attention.

Harry, who was still l sound asleep, felt his arm being pulled away, he snaped awake, and stared, wide-eyed, with a startled expression, at Snape. He tightened his embrace around the Draco,and shook his head no furiously. This reaction puzzled the three adult wizards ,who are there. He opens his month to speak, but nothing but rasps of air come out of his mouth.

"Potter, stop acting so daft and release Malfoy, so we can take you both back to Hogwarts," Snape demanded. He pulled on Harry's arm again, but the boy has locked his arms around the other, and the professor couldn't separate them.

The irritated professor turned to the other two, who were standing near by waiting for him to get Draco. " Do something about him. I can't get Draco if he won't let go of him " he irritatedly demanded.

"Harry let go of him, "Black stated firmly.

"That's really going to help, Black. Come over here and remove his arms from around my godson," Snape barked out. He was very tired and very worried. He wants to get Draco out of this cold and into a warm bed as soon as he can.'

"Sirius, go over there and help. Harry was obviously frighten, and confused," Lupin suggested, as he nudged his best friend toward the others.

"Or under some spell," Black replied causing the others to look at him and shake their heads.

He stood a moment longer then walked over and knelt down next to Harry, then took the boy's chin in his right hand and gently turned the boy to face him. He looked deeply into the boy's green eyes, and calmly said " Harry, you need to let go of him. We aren't going to hurt him or you, you know this."

Snape's patience was growing thinner each second that pasted. He wanted to get his godson back and checked over, and was started to worry over the fact that the boy hadn't woken up with all the activity that was happening around him. After waiting and watching the other wizards attempts to plead with the boy, he pulled out a sleeping potion, and forced Harry to drink it. The boy loosened his grip, and the potion's master swiftly grabbed up his godson, lifted him up into his arms, and walked back toward the school.

"I suggest you pick up Potter and head back to the school, Black. Lupin it would be wise if you search for the others, and informed that we have the boys," Snape called back as he walked at a quick pace.

The scruffy looking wizard picked up Harry, who happened to be his godson, and walked in the direction Snape had. Lupin looked around for a moment, then headed off to find the other two searchers.

1 hour later (Infirmary)

Since the small amount of time it took to get both young wizard back to the great school of Hogwarts and into it's infirmary, the news of the boys had been finally located and roared, like a raging fire, through the school.

Much to the displeasure of Madam Pomfrey, med-witch of Hogwarts, several curious students and staff members alike were stranding outside the door to the infirmary whispering talking to each other. Each time the door was opened, to let someone in, the whispers become a loud indecipherable bundle of noise.

"Albus, would you please tell them to go back to their dorms or wherever they are suppose to currently be at. They don't need to be right outside my door. I am sure they will hear about how Mr. Potter and Mr. Malfoy are soon enough," the med-witch asked, her voice dripping with irritation.

Albus, headmaster of the school, nodded at her then went out to tell everyone to leave. A few minutes later the sound outside to door died down.

Madam Pomfrey sighed, in relief, and checked Harry over again. The five members of the last rescue party watched silently , from a distance.

"How is he?" Black inquired, as soon as he sees that she has finished looking over his beloved god-son.

"He is reasonably better then I had suspected he would be, when he was brought here. Other then needed more food, and a warm bath. And the fact that he has lost his ability to speak, Mr. Potter, is otherwise well," the med-witch informed him. Then moves on to her other patient.

"Other then the fact that he can't talk? I find this too be most disturbing, and not to be taken lightly, Pompy," Black snapped at the med witch.

"God father or no, one more outburst like that, Sirius Black, and I will drag you out of here, by your ear. I didn't say his inability to speak wasn't disturbing, so don't you make it out like I am just

brushing it off. It isn't something that needs attention now. He will be able to tell us more about why he can't speak after he is awake," Madam Pomfrey scowled, as she glared irritatedly at the cowering wizard.

"Madam Pomfrey, would you please examine him now?" Snape asked, as he gestured towards his godson. The potion master was bowling over with worry because the young wizard as yet to stir from his seeming unconsciousness.

The med-witch swiftly checked the boy over. A look of pure confusion spreads across her face, and she checked again. She whispered a few spells, and shook her head in disbelief.

He stormed over to his godson's bedside and looked the boy over himself. "What wrong?" he inquired

" I can assure you, Severus, that he will be fine. I just found something I wasn't expecting to," the med-witch said calmly. Then turns her attention back to the boy and asked " Does anyone know when or if his parents are coming?"

"I am here, Madam Pomfrey," said Draco's father, who had just entered the room a moment before. The wizard with the same grey eyes and his son, and long white-blond hear, walked proudly over to his son's hospital bed.

Madam Pomfrey looked at the wizard before her, then leaned to the side and looke behind him at door, as if she was expecting someone else.

"My wife is currently too busy to come see how out son is, you most excuse her absents," Mr. Malfoy said dryly.

"Very well then. I have examined your son. He is fine, better then I would expect. Though I did find something shocking," the med-witch informed him.

"I bet it's not as serious has Harry not being able to talk," Black mumbled. He couldn't for the life of himself understand why Madam Pomfrey seems more concerned for Malfoy, who was, of course, as, everyone who was smart, knows, evil, then his god-son who was of course good.

Paying no attention to the mumbling of Harry's godfather "And what might that be, Madam?" Mr. Malfoy inquired.

Madam Pomfrey in took a deep breath, and lets it out slowly. Then looked Mr. Malfoy straight in the eye and said " Your son is pregnant."