Continue? 10, 9, 8…New and Improved, Gold-Inlaid Collectors Edition, now with ten essential vitamins and minerals (Including as much Calcium as a glass of milk!).

The spotlight shone onto the darkened stage, revealing a lone microphone. A small figure with large, improbably colored hair, walked up to it and clicked it on. He then tapped it a few times to make sure it worked. "Hello, testing? Is this thing on? Good.

"Hello, everybody! My name is Yugi Motoh, and I'm a fictional character! I'd like to welcome you to the new and improved edition of Continue? 10, 9, 8…. That's right, the story has been modified to fall back into guidelines. Also, some things have been changed, mostly the removal of small errors or obsolete author's notes; but a few bigger things. And even better, this time the story isn't poisonous to ANYONE! But for the most part it's the same story. Why change a good thing?" HA! Like this was any good before… Yugi thought.

Author: I heard that, you little jerk. On with the intro, unless you want me to turn this into a Yugi/Pegasus/Tristan yaoi fic.

"UGH. No need to get disgusting, I'm working on it. Now, you may wonder why I'm doing the new intro. Well, it's because ever since the jerk who holds all our chains on this little nightmare project…"

Author: I'm right here. I know what you're saying.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Since the incredibly UGLY jerk who runs this little freakshow…"

Author: Excuse me while I go get Tristan and Pegasus.

"All right, all right, I'm sorry! Geez, can't you take a joke?! Okay, so ever since the author, Moczo…"

Author: Hi!

"Got his story deleted, he's trying not to talk to you all for more than a paragraph at a time; so as to prevent any further mishaps. So I get roped into doing even MORE work, when God knows it's ME that makes this circus from Hell run in the first place. I mean, who else is gonna carry the story? Bakura? HA! Joey? Don't make me laugh! And YAMI! That dude's about as funny as a root canal. No, it's poor Yugi who has to do all the work, and take all the punishment, and…" suddenly, a rotten tomato flew out of the audience and hit Yugi in the face. "HEY! Who threw that?!"

"That would be ME. You SUCK!" Kaiba shouted, then threw more fruit.

"Yeah!" Malik shouted. "Where do YOU get off bitching when we've put up with ten times as much crap as you!"

"In the first story, nothing bad happened to you! All the bad things happened to the three of us!" Yami added.

Yugi looked from his puzzle, to Yami, and back to his puzzle. "… How?"

"The magic of literature, bitch." Yami said, and beaned Yugi with a hurled bottle.

"OW! Okay, okay, just… y'know, read. And review, so we can feel like we've actually accomplished something here. And, if any of you happen to know what little moron reported the story and got this Bullet Train to Hell derailed? Feel free to tell everyone you know to send him horrible, scathing hate mail fifty thousand times a day. The little jerk deserves it! After we did all that work… OUCH!" Yugi said, as a brick hit him in the face and knocked him unconscious.

"ON WITH THE SHOW, LOSER!" Kaiba shouted.

"… I'd like some popcorn. Would anybody else like some popcorn?" Bakura asked from the back row.