A/N: Here it is, as promised. This is part three in a series I didn't even mean to be a series and it is the last part… there is no more after this. That's kind of sad isn't it? Anyway, as I said in the last chapter, if you want updates on my fic progress or to just drop me a line or anything - go to my livejournal page, user name calypsoblue. This can actually be read as a stand alone, but it was inspired by the first two and it goes along with them... I think... I hope. Oh and just so you know it is from Ron's POV. Do I even have to say it? I guess I do, don't I? This is slash people, meaning boy/boy. So if you stumbled in here by mistake, I suggest you back away slowly, before the fan girls attack you and make you one of their own.

Disclaimer: I am sad to say that the lovely boy's contained in this chapter, still do not belong to me. If they did… the Harry Potter books would be a lot more… naked.

Thanks as always to my current beta and Best friend Lucy.

On with the Show.

"Did you see that girl Ron?"

Oh god, here we go again. This is getting fucking ridiculous.

"Yes Harry."

"Gods she was hot."

"Sure Harry."

"And did you check out that rack? Normally…"


"…I'm an ass man myself but…"

You're an 'ass man' all right.


"… I wouldn't mind getting my hands on her quaffles. And those legs, I could just…"



"You're gay Harry. Gayer than gay, the gayest man alive, super gay."

"Pssh, I am not. I love the ladies."

"You've been living with Malfoy for 5 years now Harry."

He looks at me for a second, before waving his hand dismissively at me.

"Passing phase."

"Say it Harry."

"Say what?"

"That you're gay and you aren't even the least bit attracted to that girl and you're in love with Malfoy."

"Whatever you say Ron, now if you'll excuse me… I have a number to get."

I'm on the verge of ripping my own hair out when Satan - I mean Malfoy saunters in - taking the seat beside me.

"Harry pretending to be straight today?"


"That's starting to get bloody annoying."


"One of these days I'm going to have to beat some sense into him."


"I would prefer to shag some sense into him. But…"

"Whoa Malfoy, you're passing the sharing barrier here."

"Quiet Weasley. All I was going to say was that's what always seems to trigger Potters random bouts of 'straightness'."

"Yeah well, it's getting bloody absurd. How am I ever supposed to get laid when 'Not Gay today Potter' shows up trying to pull all the girls?"

"Come now Weasel, you can hardly blame Harry for your lack of sex appeal."

"Oh fuck off Malfoy."

"All in due time. I'm just waiting for Harry to realize that young female is lacking a very important body part, pivotal to his sexual gratification."

Harry finally makes his way back, sitting on the other side of Draco, grinning broadly.

"Hello Draco."

"Gay yet Harry? I'm about ready to go."

"I am not gay!"

"That's not what you said this morning."

"Like I told Ron… it's a phase… It'll pass."

At this point I just can't take it anymore. I jump up from my seat - waving my arms wildly for dramatic purposes.

"For fucks sake Harry! You're gay! You. Like. Cock. Deal with it and move on! Your sexual insecurities are becoming tiring."


"What? It's true! Just admit you're gay and get it over with! I'm getting bloody sick of this."

"Mumble mumble."

"What was that Harry?"

"I said I might be gay… but only just a little."

Oh thank the Gods! Now maybe he'll stop being a big gay cock block. My little victory is cut short, as the ferret puts an arm around Harry, pulling him into a passionate kiss. I guess with Harry finally admitting his gayness, I'll have to see a lot more of this. It'll be a small price to pay.

"Well… it's a start."

I can't help myself - I gag a little.

"Could you two please take that somewhere a little more… not in my line of vision?"

I have to stop myself from dry retching when Malfoy reaches a hand down to grab Harry's ass and I wonder idly if maybe it won't be such a small price after all.

"My thoughts exactly. What do you say Mr. Potter? Up for a nice romp?"

"Why Mr. Malfoy… I thought you'd never ask."

I can't help but roll my eyes as they leave. I perk up instantly however, when I see the girl Harry was trying to chat up earlier coming my way. My perkiness is short lived though, as I notice almost instantly her eyes are focused solely in the direction of the way Harry and Malfoy left - knowing with a sudden clairvoyance just what she's going to ask me.

"Excuse me; was that Harry Potter leaving with Draco Malfoy?"


She frowns and I have to use all the willpower I posses not to laugh in her face.

"Are they coming back?"

"I doubt it, knowing those two they'll be shagging all night."

I know that was cruel. Harry was more than likely hitting on her earlier, so it would be normal for her to want to know why it isn't her he was leaving with. Why she missed her shot at the famous Harry Potter. But after five years of settling for Harry's cast offs, (because he is indeed very gay) and five years of having to make excuses for him and answer all their ruddy questions, like I was his personal secretary or something. I'm tired of it; I am no one's second best or a bloody secretary.

"Harry Potter's gay?"


The End.