Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans.
Author's Note: This came from the new Robin/Raven bumper on Cartoon Network, I and all us R/R shippers were elated when we saw it. So I got an idea and decided to write this. It's a nice change of pace from all the heavy duty angst I've done and am going to do. For the record I'm not sure if I'm going to make this a part of Seeds/Only Son continuity. It's self contained anyway.
And an unlimited supply of peanut butter cups to Le Chat de Darigan for being my beta. You want humor, read her work. Most humorous.
Timeline: four months after the birds of darkness in a relationship or four months after Year 4. Whichever.
Dedicated to the R/R shippers who need humor and light in their lives. Including this one.
Let's get started.
"Nice work, Boy Blunder. Look. Next time, I decide what we're doing." A tired and melancholy female voice was clearly heard.
A raven-haired boy in his late teens was sitting on a curb on a street Downtown when he heard this. He was dressed in blue jeans, multi-colored sneakers, a mask covering his eyes, and a white T-Shirt with a blue stripe in the middle and blue sleeves with white stripes in the middle and a dog tag type of medallion. His name was in actuality Richard Grayson, but most know him as the superhero called Robin. The girl who made the overtly sarcastic comment stood right behind him with arms crossed. She had ashen skin, amethyst hair, and a whipsmart mind within it. The late teen wore a black T-Shirt with a bloody pentagram on it, black jeans with a wallet chain, black boots, and buckles on her wrists and neck. She went by the name of Raven Roth and after many years in the making, they finally admitted their feelings to each other and lived happily ever after.
Except for right now.
"Alright, I'm sorry. I should have called ahead. I didn't think." Robin apologized.
"No, you didn't." Raven snipped.
Robin got up from the curb.
"Again I apologize. Can we move on?" Robin said in a tired tone.
"I suppose we have to. So now what?" Raven uncrossed her arms.
"Can't watch the movie. So lunch?" Robin said in a near pleading tone.
"Fine. Where do you want to go?" Raven said in her trademark monotone.
"I saw this small diner on the way here. Can go there." Robin said in a helpful tone.
"Well, since you failed at entertainment, hopefully you can make up for it in sustenance." Raven said before she walked away towards the diner.
Robin had one thought as he walked and caught up to the dark empath.
'Yes. I chose to be here.'
"What is this supposed to be?" Raven asked holding up a spoon of what looked liked congealed grease.
"Scallop potatoes. It's quite good actually." Robin said favorably as he shoveled another helping of his meal in his mouth.
"This looks more like melted potatoes than scalloped." She said as she reluctantly inserted the offending sample into her mouth.
"See? Isn't it good?" Robin smiled as he inserted another helping into his mouth.
"I suppose." Raven said in her trademark monotone after swallowing.
Robin inwardly grimaced. He always found Raven's antisocial attitudes offputting. But now ever since they've entered the dating stage, all she's been doing is complaining. Complaining about something. Usually, it's a minor issue but Robin has been counting how many times she's been complaining.
At last count it was around 912.
'Let it go, Grayson. You love her for who she is. That's all that matters.' Robin thought to himself. Trying his best to keep a positive tone.
'Keep telling yourself that and maybe it will come true.' His conscience interjected.
Robin outwardly and inwardly sighed.
"You know, you don't have to put down everything in sight." Robin said.
"That may be but I thought you loved it when I spoke my mind." Raven countered with a slight whimper of emotion in her voice.
"I do. But not every second. It gets threadbare after a while." Robin said in a tired voice. He didn't want to let it come down to this, but he had to now.
"…You truly feel this way?" In the time Raven had begun dating Robin, she felt lighter. She could finally be herself instead of the ice queen everyone thought she was. She felt she could be comfortable and open enough free to speak her mind and look upon all of God's creations…
And spit on them.
But if now Robin is having second thoughts and if thinking of leaving her, she wouldn't know what to do.
The table started to rattle.
Robin seemingly read her mind and interjected:
"I don't mind it most times. But you could lighten up a bit." Robin said as he showed his left hand in a warning motion.
Raven took in a rapid breath. She didn't like to back down to anyone. But if for him she had to.
"I…I try." She said rather meekly.
"Thank you, Raye. That's all I ask." He placed down his hand on top of Raven's right hand and squeezed lightly but firmly.
She responded with the smallest of smiles in existence now but it was still a smile.
"That's my girl." Robin said with a muted happiness in tone and continued with his meal in silence.
"Could you hand that Clinkenhaimer for me." Cyborg clearly said as he was bent down near a piece of machinery. It was the new engine for the T-Car version 9.0 at last count. Robin stopped counting after it was destroyed for the sixth time.
"What?" Robin said standing, clearly coming off a trance.
"I said hand me the Clinkenhaimer." Cyborg asked again.
"Oh, right." Robin looked around the toolbox for the offending tool. He found something that looked like a double-pronged ear-inspector.
"Here." He said simply and handed it to him.
"No. This is the Katzenjammer. Man, get your head in the game!" Cyborg exclaimed.
"Sorry." Robin said apologeticly.
"I wish Raven was here." Cyborg grumbled as he placed the tool back into the box
"Well, she's not. She's meditating. So you got me to deal with." Robin said with rising anger.
"It's fine. Just Rave and I have this system. That's all. Don't have to get snippy." He said to defuse the situation.
"I'm sorry. It's just…" Robin trailed. Cyborg noticed that whenever Raven's name was mentioned in Robin's presence lately, he goes off like a volcano.
"Sounds like girl troubles. My field of expertise." Cyborg said in triumph.
"Since when? I've never seen you with a girl." Robin countered.
"I have been out with girls plenty of times." Cyborg smiled in triumph.
"Cy, those girls are paid to stand by the new cars." Robin smirked.
Cyborg fell over. "Um…I knew that." He said sheepishly.
"Riiight." Robin said giving his best Raven impression.
"Well, anyway I do. What's the problem? C'mon Rob." Cyborg taunted him in a friendly tone.
Robin sighed. He never could resist his best friend.
"Well…It's more ever since we got together all she does is bicker." Robin said in a semi-infuriated tone.
"What about? Each other?" Cyborg asked.
"No, actually. We hardly do that. She just complains about everything else. And I'm getting weary of it." Robin said in a semi-exhausted tone but glad he told the synthetic teen.
"I see. That's how Raye is. Like the chicken says 'you knew the job was dangerous when you took it.' " Cyborg laughed at the end of that.
Robin smirked. "True."
"So what are you going to do?" Cyborg asked. "You're not going to…dump her are you?" He said with a subtle anger. His brotherly concern for the gothic Titan was leaking out again.
"No, no. But if this continues, I don't know what to do." Robin said with a tremble of emotions.
Cyborg was relieved. "Okay, just making sure. Have you told her how you felt about this?"
"At the theatre. Nothing kills the mood faster than when your girlfriend calls you the Boy Blunder." Robin said depressingly.
"Oh my God." Cyborg said in realization.
"I've never thought of you like that. That's a good one." Cyborg smirked and laughed.
"I thought you were supposed to be my friend." Robin gritted his teeth.
"Dude, I call them like I see them. Sorry." Cyborg apologized but still loving the joke.
"No you're not." Robin countered.
"You're right. I'm not. So I repeat, what are you going to do?" Cyborg said ending with sympathy.
"No idea." Robin shrugged.
"Well, trust in Raven. She knows the score. She wouldn't shut up about how much she liked you for years every time we were in shop. Had to wear earplugs." Cyborg said a kind, mocking tone while placing his hand on Robin's shoulder.
"I do. But her standoffishness gets to me. But that's a part of the Raven Roth package. Can't return it." Robin simply smiled.
"No you can't." Cyborg said simply releasing his hand. A thought entered the synthetic teen's head.
"Still wish you were with Star?" He asked simply with a whiff of a smirk.
"No. Too bright and shiny. It's one of the reasons I wear the mask."
"No, it isn't." Cyborg countered light-heartedly.
How quickly a whiff becomes a stench.
"Well, I like to tell people that. I made my choice. No regrets." Robin said with tinges of firmness.
"Good. I have to admit, Raye will treat you right." Cyborg said positively.
"I know." The masked Titan gave off a small smile.
"Hey, since your movie was a bust, why don't you watch a movie with us?" Cyborg kindly offered.
"Outside or in?" Robin asked.
"Would it make a difference? We got sen-surround, picture in a picture, widescreen. I'm working on a master mix of Casablanca where Godzilla plays Peter Lorre's part." Cyborg bragged.
"I'll take you up on the movie but I'll make the choice." Robin shrugged.
"I thought the lady was supposed to do that." Cyborg asked.
"Well she's not. I'm the one who wears the pants here." Robin smirked triumphly.
"Well, I just wish she'd put on some pants out in the field. Not that I expect you to agree." Cyborg smirked.
"I...I…I got nothing." Robin conceded.
"I win. Now hand me the Clinkenhaimer." Cyborg said as he bent down again.
Robin sighed and handed Cyborg the instrument. He hoped Raven wouldn't complain again. Any more and he would blow.
And wouldn't care about the aftershocks.
"So we're not going?" Raven asked Robin with a slight timber of disappointment in her voice. When Robin told her about the movie she was secretly ecstatic. An actual what-normal-people-do date. But when it fall apart, back on the goth mask again. She's used to disappointment all her life, what's one more?
"No. I talked to Cyborg and we decided to stay here. I'm picking a romance. You'll love it." Robin said with hope and pleading in his voice.
"I'll be happier just settling for liking it." Raven grumbled.
"Raye, you promised." Robin said with rising sternness.
"I did. I…I promise." She said defeated.
"Thank you." He kissed her on the cheek.
One can hear a shattered lamp in the distance.
Robin couldn't help but inwardly smirk.
"That's my girl. Let's go." They were in her room, heading towards in the living room.
"I say the cheese works alone!" Beast Boy yelled.
"I say that it does not work alone!" Cyborg yelled right back.
Robin and Raven entered the room and walked towards Starfire. The two arguing teens were right by their precious deity, the Gamestation.
They argued for a few minutes. Robin finally asked Starfire.
"Why are they arguing about cheese?" He said in an exhausted tone.
"Well, friend Beast Boy was eating his liquid extract from cows and commented how great it was by itself. But then friend Cyborg said that that the liquid extract is best when applied with other food substances, particularly of the high calorie variety." Starfire explained in her simple childlike manner.
Without a beat, Raven said "Makes sense to me."
Robin looked at her like she grew an extra head.
"Are you kidding me? How?"
"Simple. They're both cheeseheads." Raven shrugged.
Robin looked at her, then them. "Granted." And said no more. Raven went over to the arguing duo.
"Stop it. It's a pointless argument, like every argument you two spout off. So stop it or your precious machine goes." Raven threatened while her eyes starting to glow white.
The Gamestation began to glow indigo.
"Ok! Ok! Stop! We'll be good!" The changeling and the synthetic teen shouted.
Raven sighed and her eyes reverted back to normal. The Gamestation lost its glow.
"Don't you ever do that again!" Cyborg yelled.
"Stop acting like idiots and I won't. Robin said you had a movie for us?" Raven asked, digressing the subject.
"Oh yeah! Gather round folks! We have a treat for you!" Cyborg remembered and shouted to gather everyone to the TV.
"Since our Boy Blunder and Dark Girl couldn't make their movie date, we decided to bring it to them. With a movie Robin chose, take it away, Rob!" Cyborg bellowed and sat down with a smirk on his face.
Robin shot arrows from his eyes to Cyborg and went in front of everybody.
"Thank you Cy, for that lovely introduction. Anyway I picked a movie which should be interesting and romantic(said in a sotto voce). It's called Soulraper. Nothing like Wicked Scary. Hope you like it." Robin demurred, set the DVD player to play and went to turn out the lights.
He sat down on the far right end of the couch by Raven, to Raven's left was Cyborg, then Beast Boy and Starfire on the far left completely the circle.
And the movie started.
Enter a corridor shot of a hospital panning inwardly.
Shot to floor with a person wearing black shoe, pants and robe whose flashing in and out of the scene three times.
"Slade. Slade. Slade." Raven said with amusement in her voice. The Titans to the left of her laughed.
"Raven…" Robin whispered with a growl in his voice.
"I'm sorry. I…I couldn't resist." Raven said with a small apologetic tone.
"Well, stop it. Can we just watch this?" Robin pleaded with an annoyed tone.
"Fine." Raven said in her trademark monotone.
The person stopped and headed to their left and jumpcut to a pan of the hall to a door with the number 9814 on it. A lower shot of the door indicates that no one is there.
"Hmm, I don't like the new candy striper uniforms." Beast Boy smirked, taking on Raven's idea. Robin scowled at Raven.
"See what you done?" Robin nearly growled. Raven ignored him and watched on.
A shot of the person's hands as he takes off his black gloves. And takes out an old-fashioned watch and opens it.
"I'm the Clock King." Cyborg smirked.
"I'm Warp." Starfire chirped.
"I'm Professor Zoom." Beast Boy chimed.
The shot panned to reveal the top of the person's head, revealed to be a woman with raven hair and opened the door.
"Time to remove the bedpan of sadness." Starfire chimed.
The inner shot revealed that the door opened by itself and can hear footsteps. And panning to an old man lying on a bed asleep with tubes hooked up all over his body and mouth hooked up to a ventilator tube held by tape.
"It's the right thing to do?" Beast Boy said in a WalterBrennen impression.
Shot to the woman in a black robe wearing black eyeliner on her face looming over him.
"You can't even tell if he's had a baby." Cyborg commented.
The woman rose her hand, fingers up with a ring in her palm.
"I believe I have the stigmata, I believe that you don't." Starfire chirped.
Then jumpcut to the woman lowering her hand to his chest.
"Can I borrow your spleen for just a minute?" Cyborg said.
Cut to a closeup of the old man and then cut to a monitor beeping once even, now spikes of activity.
"He's Rocky Mountaining." Beast Boy commented.
Cut to another closeup of the old man opening his eyes in shock. Then cut to the woman's face, back to the old man.
"The death of Wintergreen." Cyborg commented.
The bed started to rattle and jumpcut to the rattling oncall button.
"The fingers of magic have gone berserk!" Starfire exclaimed.
The old man tried to reach the button but failed, and then rapid shots of the old man flailing and the woman looking on with interest.
"The Earth game of It has evolved over the years." Starfire chirped.
Then from the old man's chest came a purple energy and absorbed into the woman's hand.
"Isn't that Dr. Fate's shtick?" Cyborg asked.
The monitor flatlined.
"This is your brain on death. Any questions?" Cyborg commented.
Cut to the deceased old man and the woman removing her hand.
"Can I have some more applesauce?" Said Beast Boy in a muffled voice.
Then a closeup of the old man.
"My tape is running, a little help here." Cyborg smirked in a muffled voice.
Then a panning shot of the woman starting to leave and then a panning shot of the old man.
"Do you think he's hourly or does he get paid on per soul basis?" Beast Boy asked.
"See, if he put the Club on his soul, this would not have happen." Cyborg commented.
The woman stepped out of the room and away from the camera.
"Time for a Ryerstad. I've earned it." Beast Boy smirked.
Two nurses ran into the room.
"Doctor Strange is taking his shirt off!" Beast Boy exclaimed.
They were checking on him and unhooking the machines.
"Oh well, he's dead. Time for another cigarette break." Cyborg smirked.
Then cut to the shot of the woman walking again and cut to black. The violet logo was coming down in the background in a slope motion rising to the foreground.
"Soupraper?" Beast Boy asked.
"Soulrapper?" Starfire asked.
"Wait until it gets a little bit closer." Robin finally said.
Cut into a shot of the left forewheel of a car, with the starting credit saying "starring Fairuza Balk". Then panning out to a blond male teenager wearing reflective sunglasses driving.
"Does anything really star Fairuza Balk? Isn't that an oxymoron?" Raven deadpanned.
"Some kind of moron." Beast Boy smirked.
Robin folded his arms, digging his fingernails into his flesh. Trying to delay the explosion.
"Bet you could never get the smell of Big Bill's out of that car." Cyborg smirked.
The car drove away and pan to a shot of a mansion.
"Belvedere, come here boy!" Cyborg said in an English accent.
A shot of a stereo, music blaring, panning shot out to a teenager walking to a bed putting a dress on it.
"I want to look my best if I'm going to see the Hotels tonight." Beast Boy said in a falsetto voice.
The teenager took a dress and sized the dress up to their body, camera panning up to reveal the face of the teenager, a young Hispanic girl.
"No, this is would be more appropriate for a Thompson Twins concert." Starfire quipped.
Cut to a car driving up to the mansion and a female teenager wearing a frilly blue dress got out of the car and walked towards the mansion.
"That's not a dress, that's a cape." Cyborg commented.
"She's does well in her data entry salary." Starfire quipped.
The doorbell rings where a balding Hispanic man in a businessman suit waits for by the door.
"That must be Lucille!" Cyborg said as he rose the timber of his voice at the end.
He opened the door. The teenager said "Hi, Mr. Mcvilla, is Maria ready?" Mr. Mcvilla responds "I don't think Maria is ever ready." He said jovially. Jumpcut to Maria.
"That's not Maria, that's the drowned woman Natalie Wood." Starfire chimed.
The credits shows the screenwriter credits. She holds a picture frame.
"Story. So there will be a story. That's encouraging." Beast Boy chimed.
"Mmm, I love you, Scott Baio." Cyborg said in a falsetto voice.
Puts down the frame and jumpcut to a close up shot. Maria is riding piggyback on a male brunette Caucasian teenager, both have a smile on their face.
"This was before I grew a torso, when he used to carry me around." Beast Boy quipped then sighed.
The closeup then panned out to another background, a saffron wall with red spots in the background.
"Must be the all White Seviper station." Cyborg commented on the music in the background.
It kept panning out to a dresser with a radio on it.
"Why are there flecks of the human blood on the wall?" Starfire asked.
The radio malfunctioned, playing static, a fist hit it lightly three times. Then a lower shirtless torso appeared with a book. The title was "How to start your own business."
"He's going to start a radio hitting business." Beast Boy quipped.
Cut an outside shot of a car driving towards the screen.
"People showing up places. Your movie, ladies and gentlemen." Cyborg observed.
Cut back to the room where a male brunette teenager is putting on his jeans.
"Tough morning. Choosing between acid wash or blasted denim." Beast Boy quipped.
The car pulled up to the brunette's house. The horn honked. The driver revealed to be the blond teenager from before. The brunette opened the window and saw the blond teenager. "Come on Tony! I still have to pick up Tommy." The blond said. Tony nodded in recognition. The blond said "Hi, Mr. Taylor." To the middle aged, brunette, heavily bearded gentleman mowing the front yard.
"Since I'm the near master of tools Norm Abram, I won't return your greeting." Starfire commented.
Tony put on a red dress shirt and primped in a hand mirror.
"Man, please don't stop being the 80's or my life is over." Beast Boy imitated.
Jumpcut to a similar shot of Maria primping her hair with her reflection staring at the screen.
"You're mine, Robert Wagner." Starfire chirped.
Puts down the mirror to stare at the picture briefly and holds back up again.
"I like it when I see me." Beast Boy said in a falsetto voice. The other Titans snickered.
"What? What?" Beast Boy asked, not getting the joke.
She placed the picture frame in a dresser drawer and closed it.
"Hmm, I'll put this in my loser-ex-boyfriend picture drawer." Beast Boy said falsetto.
Jumpcut to outside shot of Tony's house. Tony walked out of the house towards the car and said "Bye, Pops." Talking to the old gentleman. He made a slight hand gesture and said nothing.
"Yeah, sure. Whoever you are." Cyborg shrugged.
Tony walked past a sheet covered structure, presumably a car under them. The music was repeating.
"We're going to rock!"
"We're going to rooock!"
"We're going to rooooooooock!"
"We're going to rock." Raven in her most deadpan. All the Titans laughed.
Even Robin gave a little chuckle. But you can barely hear it over the others.
Tony entered the car and the blonde asked. "When are you going to get that thing fixed?"
Jumpcut to the sheet covered structure.
"I said I'd take the pistons out but hey, I finished grinding the valves." Tony replied.
The blonde took off his sunglasses and said.
"You're never going to make enough money to pay someone to do all that crap. And you know that."
"Hey, Brad. Man, that's over." Tony said.
"Can't we just rock?" Cyborg whined.
Brad tried to loosen up. "I'm just kidding, man. Chill out. I don't do that stuff anymore, really."
Tony accepted the answer and said.
"Okay, let's get out of here." And with that, Brad put on his sunglasses and they pulled out of the driveway.
"Oh, by the way, do you wear your sunglasses at night so you can, so you can keep track of the visions in your dreams?" Raven quipped in her trademark deadpan.
Jumpcut to the father who shook his head.
"Kids today, putting their cars in reverse, backing carefully out of driveways." Cyborg grumbled.
Jumpcut to a shot of a forest and panning down to a banner called "Summerfest."
"Short for summer festering." Beast Boy quipped.
Then pan down to a crowd of people holding balloons and talking.
"The balloons have certainly convinced me of the festiveness." Starfire chirped.
Jumpcut to the woman in the black robe accompanied by a taller man in the same robe walking on a winding road toward the camera.
"I thought we had enough gas. I'm sorry." Cyborg grumbled.
They walked closer as the edits pushed them further and further still to the screen, until the lower torso of the taller man was shown.
"Hey. Hey. Hey! That raped my soul right there." Beast Boy quipped.
Brad's car pulled up in the Summerfest parking lot. Rock music blaring in the background.
"Picked up Brian May." Cyborg commented.
The car stopped. Jumpcut to an interior shot.
"Your car is so cool!" A male passenger in the backseat said.
"You better believe it." Brad said.
Tony got out of the car and a closeup was made on him.
"I'm psyched. I'm gonna score me a funnel cake." Beast Boy chimed.
Jumpcut to the crowd around the banner.
"Everybody fest." Cyborg commanded.
"Woo." Beast Boy chimed in.
Jumpcut back to Tony looking around.
"What are you looking for?" Brad asked.
Jumpcut back to the interior shot, Tony kneeled down.
"Nothing." Tony said.
The passenger leaned forward into the shot.
"Looking for Maria." He observed.
"Maria?" Brad asked.
"How do you solve a problem like Maria?" Starfire sang.
"So what if I am?" Tony asked. Cut to long pan of the car in the parking lot. Then cut to closeup to the mullet haired passenger.
"Hey, this sounds like a real interesting conversation, guys but I'll check you guys out later." And with that said, he left the car.
"And since no one knows who I am, it wouldn't really matter." Beast Boy sighed.
Jumpcut to the interior shot. Brad sighed. "I can't believe you, man. How many times do I have to tell you, Maria Mcvilla is a rich bitch. The only way to get a girl like that is with money and you don't got it. So forget it."
Cut to a closeup of Brad. Tony was angry. "Yeah? Well you don't even know the girl."
"Lucky for me." Brad shot back.
"You coming or not?" Tony asked.
"No, I'm just going to stay out here for a while." Brad replied.
The Titans with the exception of Robin laughed incredulously.
"Fine." Tony said and jumpcut to a panning shot of the parking lot as Tony walks away.
"Come back and get me when the bears of Teddy take the stage." Starfire chirped.
Robin inwardly sighed.
'Going to be a long movie.'
The rest of the movie played out with Tony and Maria meeting each other and Maria's ride ditching her. So Tony, Maria, the mullet headed passenger, and a girl he picked up rode in Brad's car home where the woman in the black robe caused an accident by standing in the middle of the road.
"I hope we were thrown violently out of the movie." Beast Boy commented when the screen went blank.
"Damn." Cyborg remarked as it faded into another scene.
Tony, Maria and the mullet headed one were the only ones that became conscious, unaware of their new fate.
"You dummy. Didn't you see that "Warning: Fairuza Balk crossing" sign?" Cyborg grumbled.
"Wait a minute. What happened to the balloon?" Beast Boy exclaimed.
The police came and retrieved the survivors to the hospital.
"Okay, everybody. Let's get some Stroganoff." Cyborg smirked.
The woman in the black robe revealed herself to capture their souls where they escaped from her. They wondered around, seemingly invisible to the rest of the world to a convenience store. The woman in the black robe caught up with them. The woman hesitated to absorb Maria's soul, a past memory. A former love. Tony and Maria ran like the wind and left their friend behind. So the woman chased the mullet headed passenger down and ultimately absorbed his soul. Tony and Maria escaped to her parents' house where they were welcomed by her father with open arms.
"What a beautiful antebellum mansion." Starfire chirped.
"I'm anti Bellamy brothers. Does that count?" Raven deadpanned.
Tony watched the TV while Maria undressing slowly for her shower, while her father watched on, behind a crack on the other side of the door. Cyborg had something in his organic eye and searched the entire tower for eyewash. Beast Boy on the other hand looked like his eyes are going to explode. Tony watched the father announced that he would turn off Maria's life support at midnight. If the father was on the TV, then who was the man in the house?
"Is this what they call the cest of in?" Starfire observed.
"She's turning around!" Beast Boy squealed.
"Did you say she's turning around?" Cyborg screamed for his room.
"No, Cy. I said she's spurning a clown!" Beast Boy yelled back.
"Well I like that too! Where's the eyewash?" Cyborg yelled back.
It was the woman in the black robe.
"Okay, Okay. My eye is good to go. I'm coming. I'm coming." Cyborg breathed as he sprinted back to his seat.
"There she is!"
Spotting Maria. Only to find out she's robed.
"Aw hell, a robe? What the hell is this?" Cyborg screamed.
"I saw a lot. I saw everything." Beast Boy taunted.
Cyborg was about to lunge at him. "Shut up BB. Shut up!"
Beast Boy turned into a skunk.
Cyborg immediately backed off and grumbled to himself.
Apparently she had shapeshifting powers. Told Maria to come with her. To be her lover. But Maria denied her and Tony came in to rescue Maria but instead had to rescue Tony from the woman. The woman threw Tony out of the bathroom window and Maria ran to him and ran away. Maria wanted to go back but Tony said that they both had to go to the hospital.
"Your dad is weird." Cyborg said in a drawl.
For now they're souls outside of their bodies. They had to go to the hospital where their bodies are being kept before they were cut of life support by midnight. So they hitched a ride on a bus.
"Why twelve of the midnight?" Starfire mused.
"I don't know. Maybe there is tax reasons." Raven answered.
The black woman in the robe pursued them back to the hospital.
"Bus raper." Beast Boy smirked.
"I'm horrible with ill people. What am I even going to say to my unconscious body?" Starfire wondered.
Tony and Maria went to the hospital but they didn't know which floor so they hopped a ride along with a normal intern and it turned to be the woman.
"She's the Rich Little of shapeshifters. You have to concede that." Raven remarked.
She kidnapped Maria and threw Tony out of the elevator. They went up. Tony climbed from floor to floor trying to catch up.
"Maybe I can scam some hospital food off somebody." Beast Boy smirked.
The woman tried to convince Maria to be with her. Maria spurred her. Tony hit the top floor screaming Maria's name, to no avail. Then a familiar voice was heard in one of the rooms telling Tony that "Maria was out of your league."
"This room is ragging on me, like my idiot friend used to." Cyborg commented.
"It's the blonde guy and he's a Soulraper. Get on with it!" Beast Boy exclaimed.
Tony opened the door and indeed it was Brad. Dressed as a Soulraper.
"Father Dude." Cyborg smirked in a moronic tone.
"So the after of life is comprised of vague, menacing stupid mean people from our own lives. That's the ultimate answer?" Starfire observed.
"I have always thought that." Raven mused.
Brad explained the Soulraper concept to Tony. He was a Demon of Death and the term was from ancient times. The barbarians like Attila the Hun and the like often raped their enemies and poisoned the mind, hence the people of the time called it "Soulrape".
The term was a codename, used for the ones in league...with the Prince of Darkness.
"Esidisi!" Starfire chimed.
"Pucci!" Cyborg exclaimed.
"Dio Brando!" Beast Boy shouted.
They were Satan's soul collectors.
Their victims had no rhyme and reason, just to be taken, to be used in the dark fiend's machinations.
"I got to do the punch in." Starfire chirped.
Brad also did a proper demonstration for Tony.
"I had this big, master class from Satan but I was hammered the whole time." Beast Boy said in a moronic drawl.
The woman tried to convince Maria that it was futile to return to her body. She would have more power as a soul.
"With me, you get to be a ring." Cyborg said in a falsetto voice.
Maria thought about it. They rode down the elevator. Beyond the basement.
"Hello. Kind of need an answer here." Raven deadpanned.
Meanwhile, Brad told Tony this was punishment for killing the passengers of the car. And that he owed Tony for doing that.
"You're harshing my buzz, dude." Beast Boy said in his moronic drawl.
Tony tried to convince Brad to put him and Maria back into their bodies.
"Well they gave us some stuff. I didn't really read it and then I spilled Horsey sauce over it. Geez." Cyborg smirked in his moronic drawl.
The woman and Maria went to the final floor, where a corridor was shown. The woman said it was a gateway for the Soulrapers. Maria found out she was a demon. And to be a soul independent of a body, she had to kiss the woman.
"Souls, Fairuza. Let's get busy." Raven commented, noting another Soulraper in the background.
"Oh, and for technical reasons, your soul must be naked." Cyborg said quickly.
After much convincing Brad acquiesced and brought Tony to the corridor floor. Seeing Tony brought Maria back to her senses and ran to the elevator, evading the woman.
"Didn't your mother ever tell about tonguing the Reaper?" Raven commented.
They headed to the top floor, where they departed. Brad gave them some soul collectors before he rode down the elevator.
"Can't be careful, name it after me man." Cyborg drawled.
They went to Maria's room where they transferred her soul back in.
"It's clearly past midnight. Honestly." Raven observed.
But not before they kissed.
"I'd rather do the making out than live." Starfire observed.
But she was still flatlined. And the woman entered their floor.
"I know what they're going through. One time I left my soul on top of the car and drove off." Cyborg reminisced.
"That's why I put strips of Velcro along the edges of my soul to keep it in place." Beast Boy replied.
So Tony recalled Maria's soul back into the collector and ran out of the room before the woman got there.
"And stay out! Damn kids, nosing around my souls." Cyborg exclaimed.
The woman tried to capture her soul but found out that her body was empty.
"Something went in error but I can't call my supervisor or I'll get in the trouble." Starfire panicked.
Tony ran to the roof since he couldn't go down.
"A guy running through the hospital! That's new." Cyborg smirked.
The woman was in hot pursuit and chased him to the edge.
"This is quite terrific action here. These ants are all over the junior mint you dropped last week Beast Boy." Raven observed.
All but Robin looked in fascination.
"Look at them go." Beast Boy shouted.
"It is providing a stark contrast to the movie." Starfire remarked.
"Can we focus on the movie please?" Robin shouted in anger.
"Fine." "Apologies Robin." "Sorry dude." The Titans apologized.
Lack of options gave him no choice but to jump, remembering that he would feel no damage from the fall, like before when the woman flung him out the window of Maria's house.
"His 32 K cache memory brought up a little video." Cyborg remarked.
The woman was about to pursuit when her Soulraper companion told her that she would pay the price for failure.
"Satan is tired of the crap, man." Cyborg drawled.
She was absorbed into a collector.
"Don't put me in there. It stinks!" Beast Boy complained.
Tony ran back and absorbed himself into his body and ran to Maria's room.
"I have so many questions. Are souls, as incorporeal essences, capable of the act of the application of make up? Do souls contain the parts of the body which are the reaction of a chemical reaction, as the soul has no chemicals?" Starfire mused.
All the Titans sweatdropped.
He placed her soul back in her body and begged her to awaken.
"Cause if you die, it'd be so bogus." Beast Boy whined.
"Look at her go! She's running here, there, over there, she's like a ferret." Cyborg exclaimed.
A speedy recovery was made. Tony took her down to the parking lot where he repaired his old car and drove off into the sunset where Beast Boy and Cyborg quipped about a darker ending in the credits much to Starfire's chagrin.
All which added to the insults slung overall.
Cyborg laughed. "That was a good movie after all, thanks to you Raye."
"Well, I call them like I see them." She said simply.
Robin rubbed his arms, trying to cover the wounds.
"What did you think, Rob? Made the movie go down easier I think." Cyborg asked as he removed the DVD.
"If you say so, Cy." And with that, he walked out of the room and into the corridor.
"Robin, come on! Don't be like that." Cyborg yelled.
"I have this." Raven said as she rapidly walked out of the room and into the corridor to join him.
"Robin, Robin. What is wrong?" Raven asked concerned.
Robin kept his back to her. "You know what's wrong."
Raven acted confused. "I don't understand."
Robin sighed. "What we talked about in the diner. That."
"What? Oh…" Raven said, finally remembering the events of the diner.
"It was a reflex. I've been doing it for so long that I…" Raven whimpered.
"I don't want to hear it. You've been complaining about everything and I've reached my limit." Robin growled.
"I'm sorry. Robin, I'm sorry." Raven resorted to the one emotion she thought she'd never do: remorse.
"Spare me. We're past that point." Robin turned to her.
"What does this mean? That we're going to break up?" Raven panicked and ready to hyperventilate.
And blow up the tower while doing it.
"No. But we're going to have to take a break for a while." Robin said sternly.
"How long will that be?" Raven asked, in a fearful tone, ignoring her mental safeguards.
"Until you learn to lighten up." Robin commanded.
Raven was shocked. She was darkness incarnate. How in the hell was she going to pull that off?
"Robin, I…I don't think I can." She said fearfully.
Robin sighed. "It depends on your efforts. If I have seen you've done enough then I'll give you a second chance." He knew Raven would have difficulty with this. He'd at least meet her halfway.
"Well?" He asked in an inpatient tone.
"I…I'll do it." She said meekly. The back of her mind was screaming at her, the daughter of Trigon giving in on a silly human whim. But she suppressed it, she cared…no, loved the human who made the whim too much.
Robin softened. "Thank you, Raye. I…I wish there was another way. But I…" He stammered. He wished there was another way.
'There isn't.' His conscience countered.
Raven said nothing. She couldn't even look at him, she felt like she failed him, but more than that…
She failed herself.
"I think I'm going to go to bed, good night, Robin." Raven said meekly, looked up at Robin. She had a face of exhaustion but more than that…remorse. She teleported two seconds after that.
'I did the right thing. Did I?' Robin asked himself.
There was no response. He sighed and went to his room.
He had an uneasy sleep.
Raven on the other hand was lying on her bed staring at the ceiling in her midnight blue pajamas. She was thinking and rethinking what could she done different?
'How could I have prevented this? What should I have done?' Some possession of hers broke.
She got up to check. It was a Limbo CD.
"Didn't like him anyway." She commented.
As she threw the disc in the trash she wondered about Robin's ultimatum. How was she going to 'lighten up' as Robin put it? Dress in brighter colors like…pink? Or was it more…stop insulting everything?
'He'd probably want that.' She thought.
She wished that she could read his mind but that wasn't honorable. No, this was her fault. She flew too close to the sun on wax wings. Now she must repair this or risk losing him…forever.
'Why should you fix this? He simply couldn't handle you. He's weak. Weak! You don't need him.' Raven recognized the voice, it was her father. Or the father aspect of her mind.
'You're wrong. You're the exact reason why I need him. With him I can finally be free of you and live a normal life.' Raven snapped back.
'Normal? You're not meant to be normal. You are meant to be a conqueror!' Her father exclaimed.
'No. No!' She tried to meditate but it failed, her father's presence was too strong for that, so she resorted to the one thing that may turn the tide.
Her memories of Robin.
All the battles they fought side by side, the deep conversations they had, the time they spent alone in her room just holding each other. She remembered the heat from where his lips touched her today and she fought the urge to touch it, keeping the feeling alive.
'Stop it! Leave me…leave us alone!' She inwardly screamed. She expected a response from him.
And heard nothing back.
She fell on the floor gasping. She realized that she needed Robin more than anything. He was the only one that could keep the demons in her head at bay. His concern for her and his presence created a unique serenity within her. Something that meditation or her defense mechanisms simply couldn't do.
And she'd be damned if she was going to give that up.
But how was she going to lighten up for him? What could she do? Who can she turn to? She thought Robin, but no. He gave her this task, he wasn't about to aid her in any way. But who?
'There is someone.' Her conscience chimed in as she got up.
'Who do you mean? There's nobody who could do what I ask except for…oh no.' Raven lowered her head in shame.
'She's perfect. You can get any more lighter than her.'
'I can't! I can't do that!' Raven said, stubbornly holding on to her pride.
'You want to lose him?' Her conscience said.
'No.' She said firmly, without hesitation.
'Then you have to.' Her conscience reinforced.
She sighed. She had no choice. If she was to keep Robin around, she had to.
'Well, it's about time she earned her keep anyway.' Raven smirked as she went to bed, for she was going to need her rest.
'It's going to be a long day tomorrow.'
Raven was dressed in her casual wear and knocked softly on a door.
With the name Starfire on it.
'Knock a bit louder, create the illusion you're actually doing something.'
Raven needed help more than she thought: even her conscience complained like her.
She knocked at a normal sound.
'Please don't hear that, please don't hear that.' Raven inwardly begged.
She heard stirring sounds.
'Damn.' She cursed.
The door opened, showing an unkempt Starfire.
"Friend Raven, do you know what time it is? I believe it is 5 to the sunrise." Starfire chirped in her always pleasant voice but no one had to be a genius or a master empath to tell that she wasn't too happy.
"The phrase is 5 in the morning but anyway, my point. I…I…" Raven stammered, afraid of admitting weakness.
"Yes?" Starfire wondered.
"…Never mind, I'll come back later." Raven panicked and tried to walk rapidly away when Starfire caught her arm.
"Friend Raven, it must be important if you were dressed up in your black clothes and belts this early, so please tell me. Please." Starfire pleaded.
'Damn concern.' "Alright Star, I'll…tell you. And they're buckles." Raven acquiesced and entered Starfire's room.
Raven told Starfire her predicament.
"Oh my. That is serious. Why would Robin do that?" Starfire asked.
"Because I complain too much, feel free to disagree." Raven said, looking for that glimmer of hope that Robin was wrong.
"Well, there was the warehouse party with my sister, you complained about that. Robin, when he was the Red X, you really complained to him about that. Then there was the time you made him cry, I believe…" Starfire explained.
"Okay! You made your point." Raven grumbled. "I do complain too much, don't I?" Raven said softly.
"Yes, but it's understandable. I know why you act that way, with your past." Starfire said, referring to when the Puppet Master invaded the tower and the two female Titans' souls were misplaced within another, and Raven had to tell Starfire her past in order for her to properly control Raven's body.
As much as it killed her, it felt good telling another her pain.
Although Robin would have been a much better choice.
'Moot point.' "I know…but with Robin, I don't feel that way but…it was reflex…and I couldn't stop." Raven emoted.
"I know. But…why beat up my door? Why are you here?" Starfire asked.
"It's called knock my door. I'm here because…I need your help. I need to 'lighten up' according to Robin and as odd as it sounds, you're the only one who can teach me." Raven said in an exhausted tone.
"Really? Oh, Friend Raven, this is glorious! I'll teach you how to be full of light and happiness and…" Starfire screamed while embracing Raven in a tight bone crushing hug.
"Star, stop! I'm not doing a total teardown here, just enough for people to notice a difference." Raven said as she struggled from the hug.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Friend Raven. Just that I have waited a long time for this day." Starfire said meekly as she let go, suddenly finding her feet the most fascinating object in existence.
"You have? Why?" Raven asked.
"Because I thought then we'd be true friends. That you'd finally be rid of that darkness of yours...with my help." Starfire demurred.
Raven looked at her: Granted, she did try to help with the darkness but her clumsy approaches were not the way to go. Robin on the other hand understood the need for darkness and handled it with his own special muted love for her.
That's why she's willing to go under such torture for him.
And God help her, he was going to pay for it…for the rest of his life.
"Well…Star, I know you tried your best, but it wasn't enough. You don't understand the darkness, but Robin does. And that's why I'm doing this, to swallow my damn pride. For him." Raven explained.
"I understand. And I understand why you two belong together. You're both…full of darkness." Starfire mumbled. She didn't want to go through this again.
"We are. But…we do want to see the light one day, and in this case, I…need your light." Raven said hesitantly. All that goth pride, all that work shot down the drain.
Starfire's face brightened up immediately after hearing that.
"Oh Raven! I promise to do the very best that I can to help you both!" Starfire screamed as she bearhugged Raven again.
"Thank you, Star. Now let go of me." Raven gasped. Starfire let go of her.
"Sorry." She blushed.
"So Raven? Why are you conscious so early?" Starfire asked innocently.
Raven thought for a minute.
'Better say the truth. You're in this deep.' Her conscience said.
Raven sighed. "Well, the truth is…I want this to be a surprise for Robin, and I don't want him or the boys to know what we're doing. So, the sooner we do this, the better." Raven said.
Starfire nodded. "I see. Are you sure it's that and not the embarrassment?"
Now it was Raven's turn to blush.
"Uh…No." Raven said. Starfire looked at her.
"Yes." Raven lowered her head in shame.
"Can we get started, please?" Raven glared.
"Of course. Let me change into something more fitting first." Starfire said as she went into her closet.
"As long as it's not your uniform." Raven chided.
"I believe the word is…oops." Starfire said as she came out wearing her uniform.
"Anyway…What's the first thing I need to do to be lighter? I have a notebook here, ready to write when you're ready." Raven said as she produced a notebook and a pen from her pockets.
"First objective we need is…Car keys." Starfire chirped in triumph.
"Car keys?" Raven sweatdropped.
'This is going to be a very long day.'
Starfire got dressed in a lime green T-Shirt with blue jeans and sandals. They walked into the living room. Beast Boy and Cyborg were playing Gamestation.
"It's 6:30 in the morning. Isn't it a little too early to have your brain being rotted out?" Raven snipped.
"It should be. But while they decompose their brains, we can grab the keys to the T-Car." Starfire suggested.
"Fine. Why?" Raven asked.
"Could you two not talk? We're playing here!" Cyborg yelled at the girls.
Raven glared. "I repeat, why?"
Starfire didn't look at her. "I'll tell you when you get them."
Raven looked at her. 'Deception? Lying? Starfire? No, impossible.' "Fine. Give me a minute."
Raven walked behind the couch. She remembered that Cyborg kept the keys in his pocket compartment on his left side.
Raven closed her eyes and pictured the keys in the compartment in her mind. She used her empathy to make Cyborg feel like Beast Boy so he felt nothing as she used her psychic powers to move the gears in his body and opened the pocket. Then while keeping the empathy link up, she levitated the keys to her. Doing it slowly and without a sound so he wouldn't be alarmed by their floating presence. She was straining all of her mind and was about to stop when an orange hand quickly grabbed the keys without a sound.
"You can stop now, Friend Raven." Starfire whispered mentally.
Raven nodded and stopped the link. Starfire then guided her to the elevator.
"Now, why did you want the keys?" Raven said winded.
"The first step is changing that dark attitude is with a new robe of wards." Starfire said as she entered the elevator.
"You mean wardrobe?" Raven said tiredly.
"Uh…Right. You need to display to everyone that your new image has become lighter. And your clothes and expression are the best indicators. So I'm taking you to the mall of shopping." Starfire said as she pressed the elevator button, going down.
"Why didn't you say that sooner?" Raven glared.
"Because you would have said no." Starfire observed.
'She's got me there.' Raven noted. "Wait. Do you know how to drive?" She asked.
"I've seen you and Cyborg do it, and I know where to go. I always wanted to control such a bright and shiny machine." Starfire chirped.
"No. Cyborg finds out we or I should say you wrecked the car and I'll never touch it or any other piece of machinery of his again. No." Raven said while trying to pry Starfire's hand open for the keys.
"Friend Raven, you said you needed my help. How can I help when you won't let me? If you keep holding on to your pride, you'll never be with Robin." Starfire said as she struggled to hold them.
Raven let go. She looked at the alien princess thoughtfully. She sighed.
"You're right. But if we're doing this, we might as well get there in one piece." Raven said as she held out her hand.
"And I'll teach you how to drive when I resolve things with Robin." She said quickly, hoping Starfire didn't hear her.
Starfire's only response was a bone-crushing hug.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" Starfire said rapidly.
'Mental notation: Mindcrush Robin thrice after this.' Raven thought.
After two dogs, three sideswipes, and a cop pulling them over, the female Titans finally made it to the mall.
There it was: The Galleria in all its glory. Giant skylights, massive spires, the works.
The better question will be how sturdy it is.
"Okay. Remember, we're in the M-78 section. Remember that." Raven said as she exited the craft.
"M-78. Got it. I believe I've been there once." Starfire said.
"I can't believe I'm saying this but what's it like?" Raven asked as they walked into the structure.
"Full of people made of silver. Quite tall. Nice caring people. Bright place though." Starfire commented.
"Even for you?" Raven quipped.
"Yes. I also learned never get them mad, or you get squeshed. My sister found that out the hard way once." Starfire remarked.
"That's squished. What did she do, besides being her lovely self?" Raven smirked.
"She and her band of pirates tried to steal some items called Beta Capsules and something else called the Plasma Pendant. A Spectrum Beam cut down them cut them up to size." Starfire remembered.
"That's down. Cut them down. Well, obviously your sister survived. A pity." Raven remarked with a spiteful tone in his voice.
"Raven, if you want to prove to Robin that you're lighter, that's not the way to be." Starfire glared at her.
Raven looked liked she had steam coming out of her ears.
"Fine. I'm…happy she lived. Better?" The dark psychic said through gritted teeth.
"Very." She smiled. "We'll work on that."
Raven inwardly grumbled.
'As well as mindcrushing him, I'll feed him those poorly designed Birdarangs on top of that.' She thought as they entered the Galleria.
"So what do we do first?" Raven asked.
"First we work on apparel and appearance. Then we work on at tudes." Starfire remarked.
"That's attitude. And how we do that?" Raven asked the alien princess.
"Well, we…" Starfire was thinking and saw a hair salon in her vision.
"…We change your hair. If a human girl wants to sketch attention from human boys, a change in hair helps considerably." Starfire observed.
"It's draw attention. And I don't know." Raven said in a doubtful tone.
"Friend Raven, you promised to listen to me." Starfire glared.
"I'm sorry. Proceed as you think best." Raven said meekly.
"That's wonderful." She clapped her hands together. "Let's go." were her last words as she dragged Raven into the salon.
'God help me…"
"Tell me what you want." The hairdresser asked her client.
"I want something…poofy." The woman asked.
"Done." And in record time the hairdresser set the woman's hair to a poodle hair style.
"Well?" The hairdresser asked, handing a mirror.
"It's perfect. Thank you." The woman beamed as she stared into her reflection.
"It's what I do. Pay the woman on your way out. Next?" The hairdresser commanded.
Raven and Starfire were in the lounge. "I believe that is we." Starfire raised her hand. Raven whispered to her ear.
"Are you sure about this? I wouldn't trust this woman to keep the time and you're going to let her touch my hair?"
The hairdresser was in her twenties, had short raven hair, eyeglasses from the 50's, dress shirt without sleeves, and blue jeans.
"She's the greatest, she does mine. You said you're going to let me help you." Starfire countered.
Raven responded by grumbling.
"Hello Star. Need another trim?" The hairdresser came to them.
"No, Friend Shane. This is Friend Raven. She needs your special talents." Starfire said simply.
Shane sized Raven's hair. "Interesting dye job."
"It's not dyed." Raven glared.
"Really? Wow." Shane said surprised.
"Friend Raven wants to change her view. I think a new style of the hair is a first step to that." Starfire observed.
"I think that's look, Star. But yeah, I can see that. You can carry the goth look for so long you know?" Shane chimed.
Raven gave her patented death glare. She was forming a machete in her mind.
"If looks can bruise. Anyway shall we get started?" Shane asked.
"I don't think…mmmh!" Raven was about to say when Starfire covered her mouth and pushed her to the chair.
"Please." She said while Raven struggled to pry herself loose.
Raven sat down and Shane went over to put each of her hands on the arms of the chair and lean towards Raven.
"Why do you want your hair styled?" Shane asked Raven.
"I don't." She glared.
"Raven." Starfire warned.
Raven said a curse word under her breath. "Fine, it's for my…boyfriend." She blushed heavily.
"Ah, the plot thins. Let's try something…whimsical." Shane smirked.
She whipped out a comb and hair gel and began to spread it around and cultivate it.
After ten minutes, she finished. "See what you think." She handed Raven a mirror.
"Ah!" Raven screamed. "What do you do?" Raven growled.
Her hair was done in a beehive hairstyle. Just like it was when Larry the Titan invaded their lives and made her hair like that as his powers malfunctioned and altered all of reality.
She hated it then, and she wasn't enthused with it now.
"Change it back now or so help you God…" She threatened.
"Okay, okay. Don't get your panties in a knot. Okay." Shane was making a thinking gesture.
"Let's try this instead." She grabbed a container of dye conditioner and lead Raven to the sink.
"What are you doing now?" Raven asked.
"Dyeing your hair on top of getting rid of the gel. Guys are really turned on at the sight of differently colored hair." Shane purred.
"I don't know, I…" Raven said doubtfully.
"I can change it back, okay? Let's try this." Shane tried to assuage Raven's doubts as she applied the dye to Raven's hair after washing away the gel.
After fifteen minutes Raven was under a shower cap waiting for the dye to settle.
'If she screws this up.' Raven inwardly grumbled.
Shane removed the cap.
"Voila. You'll turn some guys' heads now." Shane said as she handed Raven the mirror.
Raven screamed louder than she ever screamed before.
Her hair was dyed, the same color as Starfire's.
"Raven, you're beautiful." Starfire chirped.
"Change it! Change it back now mortal or I'll scatter your soul to the four winds!" Raven screamed as her eyes became red as her hair and the salon trembled.
"Okay! Okay. Thought it was worth a shot. I still have one more idea. Now calm down or I'll never fix it." Shane gesticulated.
Raven's eyes lost their crimson hue and she calmed down. Shane whipped out some amethyst dye and a pair of scissors.
After a half hour had passed, Shane handed Raven a new mirror.
"I hope you like it, and please don't wreck my shop." Shane said exhaustedly.
Raven looked at her hair. It was its usual color and it was cut differently. Most of her locks were gone, except two at each side of her head, flowing near her eyes.
"I…I like it." Raven said unemotionally.
Shane fainted. Starfire clapped her hands.
"Do you really like it Friend Raven?" She asked enthusiastically.
"I do, strangely enough. Nice work." Raven said as she gave the smallest smile she had ever given.
"I don't think Friend Shane can hear your compliments. She's not of the conscious." Starfire said as she picked up Shane.
"Let's pay her and…leave a healthy tip. She earned it." Raven demurred as she got up and Starfire placed Shane in her place.
Starfire and Raven left their money at the cashier and walked out.
"You think Robin will like this?" Raven asked in a soft tone.
"He'll love it. Robin may have complained at times yes but he'll understand what effort you made here. Next we…" Starfire noted.
"Wait." Raven interrupted. "You mean Robin complained too?"
"Yes, he did. He complained about some of my customs, he was rather perplexed by them. And some of my royal duties. He didn't like that either. We tried our best but I saw that I couldn't keep up with him and his…darkness, but you could. So that's why I said nothing when you two started dating." Starfire tried her best to suppress the tears.
Raven felt that and said regretfully. "I'm sorry, Starfire. But I couldn't hold it back anymore. It had to be said."
"I know. And I'm glad my two best friends are happy with each other. That's the most important thing of all." Starfire said happily and put her hand on Raven's shoulder.
"It…It is. Thank you for stepping down. I've meant to tell you that." Raven whispered.
"Of course. For you two, I had to. Shall we go?"
Raven gave a small smile. "Let's."
"Has anyone seen Raven?" Robin asked the two gamers.
"I think she's in her room or something." Beast Boy said while playing his game.
"I've been there. She's not there." Robin noted.
"Try the roof. She's always there when she's mediating." Cyborg commented.
"Checked there too. No." Robin replied.
"Then she's in that gloomy café she always goes to. Now go away, you're making me lose." Beast Boy complained.
"Now don't blame the poor boy for your poor skills." Cyborg chided.
"Poor! I'll show you poor." Beast Boy grumbled.
Robin left the two gamers and went to the training room.
Starfire led Raven to a Lana Lang store.
"A Lana Lang store? Sounds expensive." Raven complained.
"Yes, she has the best taste in apparel." Starfire argued.
"I don't think…" Raven began to say.
"Friend Raven, stop your complaining. If it helps, I will compensate for the prices today." Starfire commanded.
"Fine." Raven grumbled. And with that, they entered the store.
"Hello Starfire. How may I help you today?" The salesclerk asked them.
"Hello Betsey. My friend Raven needs a change in wardrobe. Something to show that's she's braining toward a lighter image. What do you recommend?" Starfire asked the woman.
The woman was in her 50's and gave Raven the once over.
"That's heading. Let's see what we can do. Looks like a total teardown here." Betsey observed.
Raven sweatdropped. "What are you going to do?"
"I'll worry about that when I get there." Betsey lead the female Titans into the dressing room.
'After I mindcrush him and feed him the Birdarangs, I'll…I'll…I don't know what I'll do, but I know he'll hate it.' Raven mentally grumbled as she entered the dressing room.
"I think I have a dress that would fit what you need. Let me go get it." Betsey said as she left the room.
Raven sighed. "You think she'll find a dress that won't make me run for the hills?"
"Friend Betsey is excellent in matters such as these. You need not question her." Starfire said.
"Pardon me if I keep my skepticism." Raven deadpanned.
"Friend Raven, we have to get rid of that negative nature if you're ever going to be with Robin." Starfire observed.
"You'd have a better chance of getting Beast Boy to eat actual meat." Raven quipped.
"Very well then. Be alone. You should be used to it by now." Starfire said as she turned her back on Raven. She was about to walk out.
"Starfire, wait." Raven grabbed the alien princess' arm.
"I…suppose there is a first time for everything." The dark empath demurred.
"Wonderful. After you get dressed, we can start." Starfire chirped happily as she bearhugged Raven again.
"Fine, great…Just let me live first huh?" Raven gasped.
"Sorry." Starfire blushed again.
Betsey returned with a package. "Okay, I found several dresses in your size that should be perfect. Let's get started." And handed Raven the package. Raven opened it and looked at the contents.
Raven was opened her mouth to unleash another barb when she looked at Starfire. The alien princess had a hopeful look on her face.
'Maybe I'll like it after all.' She outwardly sighed and entered into one of the dressing rooms to change.
After a few minutes, Raven came out with the new dress and went for the mirror.
It was a strapless golden dress with mid calf skirt-length. Thousands of beads were embroidered along the rim of the skirt creating a shimmering effect.
"It's a classic motif.' Betsey explained.
"I look like a disco ball." Raven quipped.
"Friend Raven." Starfire glared again.
Raven sighed. "I hope you have others."
"We have plenty. We'll keep looking. I'll pick something a little more perfect." Betsey said encouragingly and walked out of the room.
'Well, at least the dress fit rather well.' Raven thought in a rare flash of optimism.
"Don't worry, we'll keep trying." Starfire chirped.
Raven said nothing as she entered the dressing room to undress herself.
Betsey came back after five minutes with another package.
"This should be perfect." She chirped as she opened the door wide enough to give Raven the new package.
"Let's hope so." Raven said as she accepted it and handed Betsey her dress.
Five minutes later Raven emerged from the closet and walked to the mirror.
It was a deep turquoise backless silk dress with floor level skirt-length. The skirt was ebbed in many layers of silk, creating a floating design, and complete with a flattering V-Neck.
"It's something more obvious. Flashy yes, but it's something special to use with your boyfriend." Betsey explained.
"I'm not quite at the level to show the goods. Body or relationship, so no." Raven said.
"I see. Well we've got something more…modern. I'll be back." Betsey said as she held Raven's first dress and left the room.
"Friend Raven you have to find something. You can't dismiss everything." Starfire warned.
"I'm trying to. But none of these have…what I'm looking for. Nothing that says me. I'm…I'm sorry." Raven lowered her head in shame.
"I know it's difficult but remember for whom you're doing this for." Starfire said compassionately.
"Believe me, Robin is the only reason I've gone this far. And…I can't stop now." Raven said in an exhausted tone.
"You make it. I know you will." Starfire placed her hand on Raven's shoulder.
Raven gave a small smile in response.
The next dress came. A bright tangerine sleeveless dress that was too short for comfort. It fell in a straight line to the mid-thigh.
"This looks like something Mad Mod would design." Raven commented.
"Actually he did. Mod fashion is on the verge of a comeback and we're on the ground floor." Betsey pitched.
"That may be. But not with me. Next?" Raven countered.
"I have something that…risqué but I think you'll pull it off." Betsey mused.
'Great.' Raven inwardly deadpanned.
The next dress was a flesh colored skin tight piece with a pattern of small gold sparkles woven into it. The pattern differentiated her skin from the dress. It was held up by two thin straps and ended at mid-thigh.
"I look like I belong with a pimp." Raven barbed.
"It's the new style that the kids are wearing these days. I believe it's called Gangster." Betsey explained.
"Dumpster is more like it. I'm not wearing this and telling everyone to burn all traces of this." Raven quipped.
"Friend Raven, I…" Starfire began to say.
"Is there anything else? There must be something." Raven said in a rushed tone.
"I can't think of anything else that would fit. Maybe if you told me what you want then I can help you." Betsey pleaded.
"Don't bother. I'll look myself." Raven sniped as she left the dressing room.
"Is she always like this?" Betsey asked Starfire.
"Friend Raven would put it like this: Only when she's awake." The alien princess said in her best Raven impression.
Raven searched rack through rack. Looking for something that not only would fit Raven and her personality but also would show her commitment to Robin's challenge.
'Not an easy thing to do.' She inwardly sighed.
'Maybe I should give up. I can't be light for him. I can't! I don't deserve him.' Raven thought.
Things were beginning to rattle.
'Please don't ever give up, Raven. You're the strongest person I know.' Robin's voice was heard.
Raven remembered that phrase well. It was when Raven told Robin her past a year ago. All the sadness, all the frustration, and all the rage. He told her that and then held her within his arms. Raven forever burned that scene into her memory.
His words would give her the courage needed to be open with her feelings towards him.
As well as being more open with herself. Raven wondered why she remembered his words at a time like this.
'Wishful thinking? Impossible. I don't do that. Do I?' She wondered. Then Raven looked around the store.
And found that nothing happened.
Raven was calm again. She seems to become calm after thinking about Robin. The masked human has created that beautiful effect in her yet again. Right when she needed it the most.
And she's not about to let anything, let alone her stubborn pride get in between them.
She kept looking though the racks, surprised by the new emotion swelling within her.
The dark empath didn't care and was about to concede when something caught her eye.
A dress at the end of the rack in the far corner of the store. Carnation pink(her secret favorite color) with the bottom slightly flaring out from the hips and a hemline that barely touched the floor. The bodice was a perfect fit, displaying the shoulders, and complete with thin pink ribbons tied up at the shoulders.
It was elegant. It was subtle. It was perfect.
It was Raven.
She rapidly walked to the dressing room and switched dresses. She walked towards the mirror.
"Friend Raven, it's perfect!" Starfire clapped her hands together.
"It's a little loose, but it's…perfect." Raven said with a whimper of happiness in her voice.
"Impressive. Not many can pull that look but you do it well." Betsey demurred.
"Thanks." Raven mumbled with a slight blush in her cheeks.
"Shall I wrap this up? We also have a tailoring service for a small charge." Betsey pitched.
"Why not?" Raven shrugged.
"I'll take you to him and I'll ring up the dress." Betsey chirped.
"You do that then." Raven said simply.
After leading Raven to a room on the opposite side of the store she left to ring up the dress.
"Hello girls. I'm Irving your tailor today." An old man in suspenders said enthusiastically.
"And we're Friend Raven and Starfire your customers." Starfire smiled.
Raven just rolled her eyes.
"Can we get started please?" Raven said impatiently.
"Sure, little lady sure. Step right up." Irving led Raven to a stepping platform.
"This might be a while, you have some…interesting proportions." Irving sweatdropped.
"Take your time. I want to create the appearance that I'm soft, feminine and lovable. And if you don't pull that off, I'll dark blast you until next week." Raven threatened.
"Friend Raven." Starfire glared.
"Oh all right." Raven grumbled. "Even if you fail I won't kill you."
'I see that I have much to teach Friend Raven on what it means to be joyous and happy.' She thought.
'Or at the very least teach on relations with customers.'
"I'll do my best." Said Irving as he sweated a waterfall.
He inserted a thread through his needle and began.
An hour later, Irving was finished.
"Well?" He asked nervously.
Raven looked at her reflection intensely.
"It's fine." She demurred.
"Oh, wonderful! She likes it. Friend Raven likes it." Starfire beamed.
"It was bound to happen. Here's something extra for you." She handed him a twenty.
"T…Thank you miss." Irving said surprised as he never received such a generous tip.
"Ready to go, Friend Raven?" Starfire asked the dark empath.
"Ready as I'll ever be." Said Raven as she stepped down and walked out the door.
Irving fainted a minute they left.
After getting dressed in her normal clothes, placing the dress in a package, and driving away, Raven thought if it would be enough for Robin. Granted, her new look showed actual visual improvement but it wasn't enough compared to her standoffish personality. She'd be defeated before she even began. No, to show to Robin that she had changed, she had to be the one thing she despised the most.
She had to become…Starfire.
She inwardly sighed. "Friend Raven?" Starfire said, interrupting her mulling.
Raven briefly looked at her in attention. "Yes?"
"You realize that to show that your transformation is complete, you have to change your negative attitude. Or at least your manners. And I will help you with that." Starfire said simply.
"I know. I was about to ask that. Thanks for beating me to the punch." Raven gave another small smile.
"I fail to see how you should be grateful for me to use fisticuffs. Especially since I haven't used them on you." Starfire observed.
"Star, it means…never mind. I meant to say thank you for saying it first." Raven said in an apologetic tone.
"Then why didn't you?" The alien princess asked.
"Forget it. So what are you going to do?" Raven asked, trying her best to calm down.
"I have several books plus some lessons you need to become full of joy for Robin." Starfire chirped.
'She had to say the R word.' Raven inwardly sighed.
"Fine, we'll begin when we get home." Raven said, as she smashed the gas petal.
"Friend Raven, why are you going so fast?" Starfire nearly screamed.
"Just getting home sooner." Raven said nonchalantly.
Starfire didn't know if she should smile or scream.
After parking the T-Car in the hangar and teleporting the keys back into Cyborg, Raven teleported them to her room.
"Friend Raven why did you speed us back here?" Starfire asked.
"Because the sooner we start, the sooner I can be with Robin." Raven said impatiently.
"Friend Raven what I have to teach you can't be done in a few hours. It could take months to remove that negativity of yours." Starfire observed.
"Months?" Raven said as her possessions began to rattle. "I can't wait any more. If this is prolongs indefinitely, then I'll lose him. Please Starfire, I…implore you, help me right now." Raven turned her face away in shame. Embarrassed that she'd reduce herself to such weak emotions.
Starfire was in deep thought. She wanted to help Raven with everything she's got but she was uncertain. Raven's safeguards was instilled since birth, it would take time to overcome. But she thought of Raven, she never had what Starfire or other normal girls had. To be able to laugh or cry without blowing up everything in sight. But ever since the dark empath has been with Robin, her mental powers haven't malfunctioned like they usually do when she displays any emotion. She's been…calmer. Happier maybe? Raven has never known happiness or any of the positive emotions.
Until Robin entered her life.
Starfire tried with Robin, she really did but in the end she knew that Raven belonged with him far more than she ever could.
Her two best friends were, are…happy together. And Starfire wasn't about to dash all that with her doubts.
"Alright Friend Raven, I can condense it to a week." Starfire acquiesced.
"A week? I was thinking a day." Raven corrected.
"I don't know if a day could…" Starfire began to say.
"Please?" Raven pleaded and cursed herself mentally for doing it.
Starfire mulled it over for three minutes.
"All right. But no questioning me." Starfire commanded.
"Yes." Raven demurred.
"We shall work on your manners and then work on your environment." Starfire began.
"Environment? Wait a…" Raven began to argue.
"Friend Raven." Starfire glared.
"We'll talk. Go ahead." Raven said as she grabbed a notepad and a pencil and sat on her bed.
"The first thing we need to do is suppress those feelings you have whenever you want to put down or insult." Starfire instructed.
"Like how?" Raven looked at her curiously.
"Deep breathing. You taught me that it is very relaxing." Starfire said.
"That's really just part of mediation. I never really put it outside of it before." Raven mused.
"Yes, but this isn't mediation. Breathe before you make derogatory remarks. That way you won't make them. Breathe." Starfire commanded.
"Breathe. Come Friend Raven! Breathe in! Breathe out! Breathe in! Breathe out! Do you not feel happier now?" Starfire said after making several deep breaths.
"No." Raven said after making several of her own deep breaths.
"Perhaps I should advance this to another level or I should have started with this." Starfire observed.
"What do you mean?" Raven asked.
"Smile!" Starfire commanded.
"What?" Raven exclaimed.
"Smiling brightens one's mood drastically!" Starfire explained.
"Starfire…" Raven tried to say.
"Smile!" Starfire shouted.
"I don't smile unless I have a good reason." Raven sneered.
Starfire was getting annoyed. No wonder Robin set this limit on the dark empath.
"Think of what your parents would say if they heard you being so cynical?" Starfire lectured.
Raven glared at her, eyes turning crimson.
"My parents? My parents? They have never cared about me! I was nothing but an accident to them! Isn't any wonder why I'm the way that I am? You sunshiny twit." Raven dropped her notepad and pen and loomed over the alien princess in her demon form.
"Friend Raven, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I…I forgot. I meant well." Starfire whimpered.
"People always mean well. They cluck their thick tongues and shake their heads and suggest oh so very delicately." Raven said in a rage.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry!" Starfire screamed as indigo tendrils wrapped around her.
"You will be when I'm through with you." Raven whispered.
"Friend Raven, think of Robin! If you never smile, if you're always this cynical, then you'll never be with him!" Starfire screamed, hoping for her dear life that her words took effect.
Raven screamed in a flurry of despair and frustration. She let go of Starfire and her eyes lost the crimson effect.
Then Raven did something unexpected for her.
She cried. For the second time in her life. The first was when she told Robin her past, and thoughts of him were the only thing that kept her from plunging into further insanity.
"I'm sorry, I want…to be good enough for him. I want…" She whispered between sobs.
"I know." Starfire held her.
"Raven? I heard screaming. Are you alright?" It was the voice of Robin behind her door.
Raven got up and went into her closet and put on a cloak to hide her eyes and walked towards the door and opened the door a crack.
"I'm sorry. My mediation crystal broke up in my hands, I'll be fine." Raven said in her normal monotone.
Robin couldn't tell but he could swear he heard a whisper of emotion in her voice.
"Are you sure because it's no trouble…" Robin said compassionately.
"I'm quite sure. I'll clean up the mess and I'll like to have my dinner brought in please. Thank you." Raven said politely as she shut the door.
"But Raye…" Robin sighed. 'At least she was polite. For once. Perhaps my ultimatum is working.' He thought as he stood there for five minutes trying to hear noise within her room and finally left.
As the sound of his footsteps died down, Starfire floated down from her hovering.
"Friend Raven that was amazing. I didn't know you could hide your emotions so well." Starfire noted.
Raven said nothing nor removed her hood. Starfire looked at her.
"Friend Raven?" She asked as she placed her hand on Raven's shoulder.
Still no response.
"Friend Raven?" Starfire asked again, placing her hood down. Raven's eyes were full of unshed tears.
Raven just closed her eyes.
"Oh Friend Raven." Starfire gave her a light hug.
"I want to try again." Raven croaked after a minute of silence.
"Are you sure? I don't want to give you any more harm." Starfire said innocently.
"Yes. I must press on. For him." Raven gasped.
"Very well. But we're doing it my way. I'll do it in a week's time. I can't shorten it anymore." Starfire pleaded.
"I see that now. But…let's start again shall we?" Raven asked in a tired tone.
"Very well." Starfire smiled and Raven sat on the bed as she picked up her notepad and pen.
"Another way to relieve stress and have a happy disposition is imagining the person you're talking to sitting in its underwear." Starfire instructed.
"…That's for stage fright." Raven sweatdropped.
"Really? I've been doing it for years." Starfire said surprised.
And the enlightenment lessons went on for over a week. Re-learning the English Language, getting a pet, opening up the curtains and letting sunlight in and repainting Raven's room (for about ten seconds) among others. All the while avoiding Robin. Raven hated to do it, but for their relationship, she had to.
"You think I'm ready?" Raven asked Starfire uncertain in her room.
"I believe so Friend Raven." Starfire replied encouragingly.
"I…hope Robin will understand why I've been ignoring him." Raven said hesitantly, saying the word hope for the first time.
"He will. Don't underestimate him." Starfire smiled.
"I try not to. If you'd get him please?" Raven said, trying to keep her small flame of hope alive.
"Of course. Best of fortuitous circumstances." Starfire chirped.
"That's best of luck. Now go get him." Raven sweatdropped.
"Oh, of course. But my feelings are genuine here." Starfire said warmly.
"I know." Raven gave a small smile.
"Friend Raven, what did we say about having a big smile?" Starfire lectured.
"Only with Robin. Now go." Raven glowed her eyes and teleported the alien princess out of her room.
Starfire reappeared outside Raven's door. 'I see that I still have to perfect on her manners.' She grumbled as she left to retrieve Robin.
Robin was in the training room, rapidly throwing punches at the punching bag.
'How could I have been so stupid?' Robin screamed at himself. For dare imposing such a task on Raven. 'Raven can't do light. I should have known that. And now I may lose her because of my stupid pride. Damn it!' Robin raged as he punched a hole in the bag.
"Robin?" A perky female voice was heard to say.
Robin just kept punching.
"Robin?" The voice said again.
Robin pushed all of his force behind his punch and knocked the bag off its chain.
"Robin! Friend Raven needs your presence in her room." Starfire commanded, bringing Robin out of his trance.
Robin turned and looked at her. He was about to say a nasty barb about Raven but he realized his error.
"Alright." Robin said, leaving the broken punching bag on the floor.
'Have to clean that up later.'
Robin walked to Raven's door and knocked.
"Who is it?" Raven asked behind the door.
"It's Robin." Robin said uneasily.
"Enter." Raven said simply and opened the door.
Robin stepped into the dark room. "Turn on the light." Raven commanded.
Robin went by the door and flipped the light switch.
And nearly fainted.
The room was repainted with a shade of pink and plushies were strewed all over her pink bedspread.
'The hell?' Robin's eyes were as big as saucers.
"What's wrong Robin? You feel like you're having a heart attack." Raven came to him wearing the carnation pink dress.
"I…I…I…" Robin stammered.
She lead him to the bed.
"I…I…How? What? Who? When? Sometimes why?" Robin sputtered.
"Well, it's simple. You said I needed to lighten up and I did just what you asked." Raven said simply.
"You did? I…I don't know what to think. Is this why you've been avoiding me?" Robin asked, still in shock.
"Yes. Believe me, I didn't want to do that…but I had to keep what I was doing a secret. You understand, don't you?" Raven said in a tired tone.
"I do, just…you wearing pink? It's a shock." Robin emoted.
"Truth be told, it's…my favorite color and I want to show my intent. I wanted to prove to you that I can change. I can be…happier and lighter for you."
"I'm at a loss." Robin said simply.
"You mean you're not going to think and overanalyze everything to death? Wow…" Raven said surprisingly. And surprised herself by showing such emotion.
"And you mean you're not going to snipe at me?" Robin chided. "I'm sorry." He said realizing his error.
"Don't be. I was quite a witch." Raven smiled and even laughed.
"You…You laughed. Ok, who are you? And what have you done to Raven? Is this a Slade trick?" Robin smirked.
Raven giggled. "No. No One Eye here. Just me."
"Seriously, how?" Robin asked.
"Starfire. I figured if I needed to go light, she would be the expert." Raven shrugged.
"That she is." Robin nodded.
"Is this what you wanted? Please tell me this is what you wanted?" Raven looked with pleading eyes.
"I…I…" Robin scrambled to think.
"Damn it. I did what you asked for. I tried to suppress the living, breathing darkness within me for you. What more do you want?" Raven shouted.
Robin sighed. "I want my Raven back. I shouldn't have done that to you. Restricted you like that. But I was…sick of the put downs and the venom. It was too much. Too much. Same with this," He motioned his hand indicating the dress and room. "It's so strong. I didn't expect it to be this strong, this soon. I didn't. I thought it would take time. I couldn't tell you how much it killed me inside by telling you to separate. But I…guess my rage and perfectionism got to me and I'm sorry." Robin said, feeling lighter for telling the dark empath that.
"I'm sorry too. It's just…you're the first positive experience I've ever had and it clashed with my inner negativity and I should have more considerate of you. I hate this way but it's all I have." Raven apologized.
"I know. But you have something else now. You have…me." Robin said warmly.
Raven looked up at him with her piercing eyes and they hugged.
"I can't believe you wore a pink dress for me." Robin smiled.
"I can't believe I wore a pink dress for you." Raven smirked.
"You want to take that off don't you?" Robin smiled as he let go.
"Yes. Very much." Raven smiled.
"Are…Think you'll do that ever again? Smile I mean?" Robin asked with hope.
"I love it when you smile." He added, trying to hide his blush.
"I usually need a good reason to smile. But…I can dust it off now and again." Raven smirked.
Robin laughed. "I love you, you know that?"
Raven looked at him shocked. This is the first time he said those three words. Things began to rattle when she said…
"I love you too."
They hugged again.
"Now get these pins off me and give me my buckles. I've missed them so much." Raven commanded.
'That's my Raven.'
And smiled warmly while he searched.
One) That took forever. First off, it was supposed to be done by the end of July but my summer class got in the way. That and my Robin/Raven board. Big changes there. My work will continue. I'll do my best with starting A Vicious Cycle at last. But I have a collaboration with my partner in crime Noriaki Kakyoin in the planning stages, so that's taking priority. Sorry.
Two) Where are my manners? Special thanks go to my lovely crew. Le Chat de Darigan, Dangerproneredhead, and finally Noriaki Kakyoin for their help with Starfire and fashion design. Couldn't have done it without them.
The answer key. For the least obvious references:
Robin's casual clothes is from Joey Wheeler's second season look from Yu-Gi-Oh! Also used in Only Son. Same goes with Raven.
Clinkenhaimer. A Darkwing Duck reference. Used in the episode "Negaduck" when the "evil" Darkwing used the phrase "clinkenhaimer" as a ruse to fool Launchpad and Gosalyn. Don't ask why I put that in there.
Katzenjammer. From the New York Journal comic strip Katzenjammer Kids. The tales of two hellish children Hans and Fritz would hated authority and caused trouble with their doting mother and their houseguest der Captain. The duality. Hence a double pronged device.
The Godzilla in Casablanca reference was Fixer's line from Thunderbolts Annual # 1
The movie is from Soultaker which was shown on MST3K. I reworked the plot a little bit. Both are quite awkward. Hope mine made some sense. At least a little.
My apologies to Ms. Balk.
I tried to make the movie segment more comments on the movie itself. My references are:
Ryerstad is a famous DC beer. The surname of the psycho Nite-Wing, enemy of Nightwing in the comics.
Big Bill's is a Law & Order reference. A restaurant chain based from the episode "Slaughter".
The Hotels, a twist of the Motels.
The Thompson Twins, I kept because I love Tintin. The band based it on characters from that.
Tony and Maria are from West Side Story.
Brian May is the lead guitarist for Queen.
Esidisi, Pucci, and Dio Brando are villains from the Jojo's Bizarre Adventure manga.
Limbo is a DC singer who is a demon that worked for the Contessa to find an anti-aging formula. Used teenagers as soldiers. He has a prominent role in Noriaki Kakyoin's Robin/Raven piece A Valentine's Day Story. Well worth your time.
M78 is an obvious Ultraman reference. A gold star will be awarded to the first one(s) who knows which Ultraman series contain the Beta Capsule and the Plasma Pendant respectively.
Shane is based from Shane McCutcheon from the Showtime series the L Word. My sincerest apologies to Ms. Moennig.
Betsey is based from fashion designer Betsey Johnson.
I believe that's it. Any other reference questions, leave it in an email. Hope I made you laugh. If successful, I may do more in the future. Other than that, leave a review on your way out. See you in the funny papers.