Disclaimer: Naruto= Not Mine Story= Mine Random People who aren't in Naruto but are in the story= Also Mine I have exactly 25 cents to my name, so it wouldn't really help to sue anyway.
A/N: This is my first Naruto fanfic, and it's also the first fanfic I've ever posted anywhere, so be gentle. I know, my title's weird, but I couldn't think of anything, and I was losing sleep, so I just used this one. It's the title of a song by AFI (Awesome band!), and thus far, completely irrelevant to the story. I'm not sure if the actual story is good or bad, so I would love to hear either way. And ideas are welcome too. There's a few warnings below. And please review, even flames would be welcome. I'm a pyro.
WARNINGS: Future SasuNaru shounen-ai/yaoi/whatever you want to call it, so beware, A Little Rough Language, a lot of POV switching, and that's about it. Except that I'm not really familiar with most of the later series, so I don't know all the temperaments of the characters, and there may be some I don't know exist, so there could be some pretty serious OOC. Then again, there could be serious OOC anyway. That's why it's AU.
Also, if I get a flame because you're some homophobe, I'll send it to hell and use it to roast you when you go there. If you don't like it, then don't read it. It's really not that hard of a concept to grasp. Anyway, I ramble, ON WITH THE FIC!
But Home Is Nowhere...: There Is No God Up In The Sky
The first day of school was undeniably one of the worst days of Naruto's life, every single year. Any morning that started with having to pull himself out of bed at seven thirty in the morning for the first time in two months was going to be shitty, and that was a given. But then add the fact that following this dreadful awakening, he would be forced to drag himself to school for the next 180 week days to be scorned, mocked, and generally hated all around by hundreds of students and teachers alike, and you had yourself the recipe for the absolute Holy God of bad days. Thus, when the shrill beeping of Naruto's alarm was heard on the lovely morning of August the 17th, it was no surprise that it ended up on the floor in multiple pieces.
Once he was sure that he'd exacted his revenge effectively, Naruto rolled from his bed, thoroughly tussled and spouting a fountain of creative profanity. He yawned hugely as he ambled into the kitchen, and, rubbing sleep from his eyes, began rummaging through the cabinets for his breakfast Ramen. He was extremely disappointed when he found none, and slammed the door shut shouting, "Well fine then! I wasn't hungry anyway!"
Once he had managed to calm himself, the blonde grudgingly made himself a bowl of Lucky Charms and ate it as he pouted. "I can't believe I forgot to go shopping." He said to no one in particular, ignoring the fact that he was alone. "Damn Lucky Charms for breakfast. It's injustice." He glared at the refrigerator angrily. "This is all your fault!" he told it. "You should have reminded me, you stupid box. You should have been empty or something." Shockingly enough, the refrigerator didn't respond to these accusations, and after a few moments of deafening silence, Naruto rose from his seat and dropped his bowl in the sink.
Sending one last death glare in the direction of the obviously guilty appliance, Naruto stalked from the kitchen, resentfully nourished and ready to put on some clothes. Unfortunately, much to Naruto's chagrin, the only clean piece of clothing he had was a bright pink tank top which had been given to him in third grade as a joke by one of his classmates. By now it would undoubtedly fit like a crop top, not to mention the bright pinkness. And so Naruto would be forced to wear something dirty and foul smelling, which would most likely provoke several cruel remarks from people passing by in the hallways. But alas, the pink tank top would be worse. So the blonde dealt with his second fiasco of the day, pulling on a pair of jeans and a black T-shirt. Dark colors, he reasoned, didn't look as dirty. He gave himself a once over in the bathroom mirror as he brushed his teeth, and decided he didn't look too bad, and that the only problem was the faint odor. He could live with it, though, and so with that, he grabbed his backpack and exited the premises, locking the door behind him.
Sasuke very nearly cringed when his alarm went off. Today was the first day of school, and he was thoroughly dreading meeting hundreds of people, most of which would probably be swooning over him and staring, completely ignoring the fact that he had a brain. It was like that everywhere he went, and he didn't figure this place would be any different.
He hadn't gone out much since they'd moved here mid-summer, and he had been dreading the first day of school for weeks, desperately willing the days to grow longer, hoping that he would wake up and it would still be yesterday, but unfortunately he was not the god that many people thought him to be, and August the 17th had come too quickly. So now the stoic boy was forced to get up and face the throngs of admirers that were sure to come.
He drug himself slowly from his bed, and pulled on a pair of black jeans and a white t-shirt, running his fingers through his naturally spiky hair, and entering his bathroom to brush his teeth. He had no appetite whatsoever, so he sat on his bed, staring at the wall for ten minutes before pulling on a pair of socks and black high top chucks. His brother, Itachi frowned at him when he came in and said harshly,
"Sasuke, what took you so long? I'm gonna be late now!"
"Hn." He grunted his reply as he was ushered out the door and into the passenger seat of his brother's red Porsche convertible. He sat silently as his angry chauffeur lectured him on the importance of punctuality, asking him, "How the hell do you expect me to keep a job if you make me, late every morning?" and telling him, "I don't have to give you a ride every morning. I could make you walk!" And other such shit.
He was forced to suppress a groan when he saw the sign that read "Sans High", and he had a harsh frown plastered across his face when they pulled up to the curb. All Itachi said as his younger brother stepped out onto the sidewalk was, "Smile, Sasuke."
Sasuke gave a sarcastic, "Yeah, right" as his brother drove off, leaving him with no place to go but inside.
The walk from Naruto's small and humble abode to his school was a short one, and on average took him ten minutes. The morning was dark and overcast, the sun hidden behind a throng of monolithic rain clouds and all Naruto could think was, "Oh lovely. An omen." He increased his pace as a cool breeze swept past him, bringing with it the sound of thunder. "Crap monkeys." The blonde cursed his luck and broke into a jog, trying to outrun the inevitable storm. But, the Gods would not have it, and at that very moment the sky opened up and sheets of rain came pouring down upon him, swallowing him up and soaking him through. And he was caught.
Almost immediately after the tail lights of the cherry red Porsche disappeared around the corner, a clap of thunder broke the sky. "Crap." Was all Sasuke had to say as he turned towards the doors, disappointed that he would be forced to go inside earlier than was necessary.
Upon entering, he began to rummage through the front pocket of his backpack for his schedule, which had his locker number on it as well. When he found it, he unfolded it and scanned the top border: Uchiha Sasuke, Grade 10, Locker Number 110. He had six class periods, a study period, and a lunch hour this year, he noted and then slipped the creased paper back into his bag.
When Naruto arrived at Sans High school five minutes later, he was dripping wet, his wheat yellow hair turned almost brown and matted to his head, and all of his school books soaked through. School hadn't even started and already he was prepared to quit. He trudged miserably up to the entrance and, in a futile effort to make himself feel better before going to his doom, said quietly, "At least your clothes don't smell anymore." Then he went inside.
Once he was in the air-conditioned building, he began to shiver, and with shaking fingers, he pulled out his sopping wet schedule and gingerly unfolded it, being careful not to let it rip. He scanned it quickly for his locker number and when he found it, set off down the hall in the direction of the 100's, ignoring the "wet dog" and "mangy stray" remarks that he heard whispered behind his back as he passed by.
Now that he knew his locker number, Sasuke's only problem was to figure out how to get there with as little human contact as possible. He scanned the entry hall for anyone who seemed unimpressed with the human race, and upon discovering no one, resigned himself to asking a guy standing by himself near the water fountain. He approached the boy slowly, his face emotionless, and his dark eyes cold, looking as if he were only asking for help to boost the guy's self esteem. For a moment he stood silently, and then he said coldly, "Hey, can you tell me where the hundred lockers are?"
The guy looked about six feet tall, with wiry muscles and dark skin to match his hair. He was wearing a pair of cargos and a blue shirt, and looking very self-important as he turned his gaze upon Sasuke. "That depends," he said, sounding disinterested. "Who's asking?"
"Uchiha Sasuke." He adapted the other's tone and look with full force, and just when he thought he might get a decent answer, a girl sauntered up beside he guy.
She was shorter than him with long pink hair and bright green eyes, and she looked ready to piss herself. "Kenji, who is this?" she asked, almost breathlessly.
"Uchiha Sasuke." Sasuke answered her question in a valiant effort to prove that he had ears. She stuck her hand out in front of him and offered sweetly,
"I'm Haruno Sakura, nice to meet you." She was smiling widely, and Sasuke could nearly see her imagining boffing him into eternity.
"Hn." He grunted and refused to shake her hand, more than ready to leave. Kenji, was apparently also ready for him to leave, because he quickly cut Sakura off from saying anything else,
"The hundreds are at the end of this hall to the left." He said quickly. Sasuke grunted again and rushed off, eager to relieve himself of Sakura's wandering gaze.
Naruto trudged wearily down the hallway, leaving a trail of water behind him and shaking violently with cold. He was passing by the water fountain when he heard a voice he recognized say happily, "Oh my god Kenji, look at him. He probably can't even afford an umbrella. I bet Sasuke's got a great car." When Naruto looked up, he was disappointed to find that it was indeed Sakura, the girl of his dreams putting him down.
"Who's Sasuke?" he asked her, making an effort to smile at her, never willing to give up winning her heart.
"Just a guy." She responded with disgust. "He's new, I think." Then her voice darkened, laced with a bit of malice, "And super hot. Not like you."
And with that, Naruto's little light was put out for the moment. He gave a small, "Oh. Bye then." And continued his walk down the hallway. He ducked into the bathroom on the right when he reached it, and dropped his bag on the counter. He pulled off his shirt and began wringing it out in the sink, trying to get it to transform from sopping to damp. He then laid it flat and proceeded to dry his pants with hundreds of paper towels, frustrated by the fact that they kept crumpling into his jeans, leaving them spotted with brown. He then did the same to his backpack and all of his books before pulling his shirt back on. He shivered as the freezing material came into contact with his skin once again and cringed at the thought of walking around wet for half the day.
Sasuke found his locker with ease, and was glad to see that it was not on the bottom row, knowing that he would be safe from falling books. With that small bit of light shed on his life, he began slowly unpacking his books, arranging them by size and class in his locker, glancing at the clock on the wall every once and a while to verify how much time he had until class started. He finished with twenty minutes to spare and was just about to put his lock on the door when he heard a loud shout, "Hey! Would you at least make sure I'm not looking when you put a fake lock on my locker!"
When he turned toward the voice, he saw a very wet, very angry looking blonde boy marching toward him. "I mean, really!" he was saying. "Is it so hard to be smart when you're messing with me. Isn't the point of a fucking prank to have the person wondering who in the hell humiliated them. Come on man."
By now, the blonde was standing directly in front of him, yelling in his face, and Sasuke was seriously confused. He looked up at the locker number, and it read 110. "Who are you?" he asked.
"What do you mean, 'Who am I?' You don't even know who I am and you're playing jokes on me?" The boy's lips had turned slightly bluer than was natural and was shivering. He was also an inch or two shorter than Sasuke, and he was becoming supremely annoying.
"I didn't play a joke on you, you idiot. This isn't your damn locker. It's mine." The boy's eyes flashed and he looked ready to kill Sasuke.
"I'm not an idiot! And this is not your locker! It's 110, MY locker." The boy plunged his hand into the pocket of his soaking wet jeans and pulled out an incredibly decrepit looking piece of paper. Unfolding it carefully, he waved it in Sasuke's face and said loudly, "Read it and weep: Uzumaki Naruto, Locker number 110!" The boy smirked triumphantly. "Who's the dummy now, pretty boy?"
"You." Sasuke replied coldly, and handed Naruto his schedule. "Uchiha Sasuke. Also locker number 110. It must have been a mistake." Before Naruto really had a chance to read the paper, he snatched it back and replaced it in his backpack, saying, "We'll just go talk to the office."
Naruto frowned and gave a grudging, "Fine," stomping off towards the main office, leaving Sasuke to follow.
"Damn, that kid's annoying." he said to himself, as he commenced walking.
Upon reaching the office, Naruto was fuming. It was just his luck that he would get stuck with the same locker as damn Sasuke. The high and mighty pretty boy. What was so great about him? He was a snob. Naruto hated him already.
He could never remember the name of the lady at the front desk so he merely stormed and said loudly, "How come there's two people assigned to the same locker huh! What idiot made that mistake?"
The lady looked up at him distastefully and replied curtly, "If you need something, then you will address me politely you little brat."
"We're so very sorry ma'am." Came a soft voice from behind Naruto, and he turned around to see Sasuke standing there, giving the lady a charming smile as he continued to speak. "The thing is, both of us are assigned to the same locker, and we were just wondering how that came to be?"
The woman looked a bit breathless as she answered sweetly, "Well, Dear, lets see if we can get that sorted out. What is your name?"
"Uchiha Sasuke." He replied politely. Having a bit of tact and charm was useful every once in a while, Sasuke decided as the woman began typing furiously on her computer. The sooner he got away from the dobe, the better.
Then the woman looked up and said a saddened tone, "Well, dear, I'm quite sorry, but the reason that happened was because we're a bit short of lockers this year." Both boys gave her a blank and uncomprehending look, so she spelled it out for them, "You two will have to share a locker this year."
"WHAT?!" Both Naruto and Sasuke asked in dismay. Naruto continued by saying, "I can't share a locker with him! He's a stuck up pretty boy! Oh my god! I'm gonna die!!!"
Sasuke gave him an unimpressed look and said coldly, "Oh don't be such a drama queen, Dobe. We'll just have to live with it for this year."
"Crap!" Naruto growled, and stalked out of the office.
Sasuke stayed momentarily as the woman gave him a locker shelf to divide it into top and bottom parts, and then followed Naruto into the hall. He was, in truth, just as seriously bummed as Naruto. He was unsure if he could keep from strangling the blonde, and he'd only known him for ten minutes. This year was definitely going to be hell.
A/N: Sooooooo, what'd ya think? Good? Bad? Please tell me, I need to know. I know the name of the school is dumb, but I couldn't think of anything so I used part of the name of the font I was using at first. So, please ignore that and tell me what you think! Really, I cannot go on without knowing. PLeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeee. Tell me. Even if you hated it, tell me. Release your hostility towards me and tell me where I should go! If you don't I won't know what to think, and I might keep on writing against your wishes.
Then again, I'll probably keep on writing either way. So anyway, the point is please review.
Thankies for reading.
P.S.- This chapter's title is part of a line in the song "Suck" by Nine Inch Nails (Another Awesome Band) and is not mine