Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars, Knights of the Old Republic.
This is a sequel to Remembrance: Trapped
There was blood everywhere.
The sun was setting, painting a fiery red sky above me. I held a lightsaber in my hand. Red, just like everything else surrounding me. I looked at my hands. They too were stained with blood.
My hands flew up to my face. The mask. The gloves. The robes. No, no, no. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be in this Revan's body. I want to be back with everyone else. Stop this! Please! I don't want to be here anymore!
I don't want to be here!
I ran through the darkness, my hands over my ears. I have to leave. I have to get way from this place…Bastila, where are you?
I opened my eyes slightly. The pillow beneath me was wet. I touched my eyes.Was I crying? I patted around next to me. Bastila was nowhere in the bed. I crawled out of the bed and pulled my feet over the side.
I stumbled over to the door, having no light in the darkness of the room. The door opened and I stopped for I could hear to voices. Bastila and Carth I think. I slid down against the wall in the hallway. I don't mean to be nosey, but I'm a bit interested in what they have to say.
"So how is she?" Carth asked after a moment or two of silence.
Bastila sighed."I had to put her to sleep by using the Force. I just hope she's sleeping well and she has no more nightmares."
She used the Force to get me to sleep?
Carth looked down at the cup he held in his hands. "I just hope she gets better."
Bastila looked down at the cup she had been drinking out of. "Carth, I love Revan and I want to do all that I can to make her feel whole again. I don't want her to suffer."
Carth smirked. "So you two?"
"Yes Carth, we are together. She did say she loved me in front of everybody." Bastila delayed. "…she…she cried so much when I went in there to talk to her. I really am worried about her…"
Carth looked up.
Bastila continued. "I did all that I could to try to make her feel better, but to no avail, nothing seemed to stop the tears. I just wish there was some way she could deal with all of this. The emotions through the bond are enough to let me know that she needs me, you…all of us. She can't do this alone."
She can't do this alone.
I shook my head and turned around. I stumbled against the wall I was leaning again. Do they honestly think I was so weak? I began to feel a panging sensation on the right side of my temple. I let out a small gasp of pain.
"Revan?" Bastila questioned, standing up from where she was sitting, walking toward the hall leading to the infarmary. I doubled over, bringing a hand to my head.
What is this?
"Revan? Revan? Are you feeling okay?" Bastila leaned next to me, balencing on her toes.
I shook my head. I let out a cry of pain and fell further on to the floor gripping at my sides, feeling my breathing increase. Bastila crying out my name was the last thing I heard before I was rudely introduced with the cold floor of the Ebon Hawk.
I ran toward the gates to look out at the new girl that had just arrived at the temple this morning. Peaking out from behind the gates I saw her.
A little younger than me, she had shoulder length brown hair and the most alluring grey eyes I'd ever seen. She looked frightened as Master Vrook led her out of the transport and began to walk toward the entrace of the temple. I backed slightly into the shadows and intent on watching this new girl arrive. There was something about her. She was different.
Different like me.
This new girl, her name was Bastila Shan. I was about a year or so older than her, she being four at the time of her arrival at the temple. I learned she was from the planet Talravin. That's why she had that accent when she spoke Basic to people.
I was interested in learning more about Bastila. There was something about her that I could feel in the Force that lured me to her. I could have said that perhaps it was my curiousity as a child that led me to behave the way I did, or perhaps it was something more. I remember confiding in Malak about wanting to learn more about the new girl who had appeared. He said I shouldn't let a new student coming to the temple distract me and said nothing more on the subject on Bastila. Little did I know years from now he would be using her to cause my demise.
Years passed and we grew. I had become quite the popular one with the teenage apprentinces of the temple. The affection of many actually. Yet I wasn't interested in them or their advances. My sights lay on one person. Bastila. Yes. I know Jedi aren't suppose to love and all that junk but come on we were teenagers. Raging hormones ring a bell? Anyway, I happened to be releaxing in my room when I recieved a message from Master Vrook telling me that I would be sparring with Bastila that very afternoon. I was sixteen at the time, she fourteen. He said that me being one of the most prospective apprentinces in the temple could set a good exmaple for Bastila. I remember that day. I came onto the training grounds. Bastila had her back to me. She was facing Vrook, her master.
Yes. I know Jedi aren't suppose to love and all that junk but come on we were teenagers. Raging hormones ring a bell? Anyway, I happened to be releaxing in my room when I recieved a message from Master Vrook telling me that I would be sparring with Bastila that very afternoon. I was sixteen at the time, she fourteen. He said that me being one of the most prospective apprentinces in the temple could set a good exmaple for Bastila.
I remember that day. I came onto the training grounds. Bastila had her back to me. She was facing Vrook, her master.
"Bastila today you will be sparring against someone different." At those words she turned around upon seeing me advanced toward her and Vrook. She gazed at me for a moment as if searching for something within my features.
"I hope you do not expect any special treatment like the rest of those you know give you." she snapped. She was fiesty, something I liked about her. She took her stance a few feet away from her. I rubbed my head, picking up a daul bladed practice blade. That something I had felt years back was coming back to me as I stood closer toward Bastila. We practiced. I have to admit, Bastila really was quite skilled. Her movements were a bit sluggish and she wasn't that fast but her basic principles of the sword were astounding. I knew I would expect nothing less from her.
I dodged another strike from her, bringing up my blade to parry her swing. Bastila backed up, after I applied force to the sword, causing her to slide along the ground. Dust picked up behind Bastila as her boots dug into the ground behind her.
She paused, regaining her compusure and charged at me again. I blocked the majority of her blows, a few of them landing causing me to lose concentration momentarily. Her last swing was a downward thrust, I parried upward knocking the sword out of her hands and landed in the ground next to us.
"Enough!" shouted Vrook. I turned to look at Bastila. She had her head down. I dropped the blade to the floor and began to walk toward Bastila ready to shake her hand when Vrook walked in front of me. "That will be enough Revan, please report back to your dorm room." As I walked away I began to wonder if this was a test or not. For either me or Bastila. I didn't see much of her after that sparring session though.
I became a Padawan later that year.
Bastila was still an apprentince but was close to completing her training. I remember seeing her praticing every now and again with Vrook on the training grounds. As the days went by I began to think of ways to get to know the younger Jedi better. I was smitten with her and yet she was to haughty and stuck-up to even give me the time of day. To her I was just Revan, the one whom everyone loved and wanted to have as their friend.
Then there was that one night...
I had been walking around on the Temple's grounds looking for something to occupy myself for the night, even if it meant getting myself in trouble. I was by myself, Malak was serving lavatory duty after our last prank. I had gotten off, Malak had taken the brunt of the trouble.
As I walked I stumbled upon Bastila. She seemed to be alone on the training grounds. Sword in hand she seemed to be training herself in some form. Something I should know but of course I never really payed attention during class, so you know. She looked aggravated. I stared at her for awhile as she practiced with the sword, fascinated as always with her.
She let out a sigh, driving the sword into the soil underneath her. I approached her, asking her if she needed help. She was startled at first but upon seeing it was me, she scowled saying she didn't need help from the golden child of the Jedi. I think in a way I intimidated Bastila to a certain degree.
So I let her know I was approchable. I helped her train that night. It had taken quite a while but I think I had finally gotten her to trust me. After that night, Bastila and I began to spend more time together.
Grew to love eachother.
We began a secret relationship. No one knew but us and Malak. At times I sometimes regretted telling him, even though I knew I could trust him.
About a year or so into our relationship, it came. The call to war with the Mandolorians came.
I brung up my concerns with Malak."We have to answer the call to war Malak."
And so we did. Malak and I along with large group of students from the Jedi Temple left to join in the war efforts against the Mandolorian's. The Master's frowned down upon it but did that stop us? No.
I remember seeing Bastila the night before I left.
She was waiting for me on the grounds. It was spring, and a bit warm for the night. Bastila had been in one of the gardens sitting on a bench, watching the water in front of her sprout from the fountain. She seemed to be lost in thought. I coughed slightly upon seeing her and she looked up rather slowly. Her eyes lit up when she saw me, pushing up off the bench and running toward me.
Slowly I snaked my arms around her waist, pulling toward me. I tilted her chin up toward me, leaning down to kiss her gently as I greeted her. She met my response by wrapping her arms around my neck, sinking into our kiss. We parted sometime later and I took up a seat next to her on the bench.
I explained to her about the war and how strongly I felt about it, how I wanted to do something to end the suffering of the people in the galaxy. She had agreed with me at that part, but she had felt that the Master's and I should try to find a common ground and discuss this rationally rather than I just run out onto the battlefield with a group of Jedi under my command. I told her that their was no common ground and that the Master's had refused to listen to our reasoning in the matter.
She explained to me that she was worried about me. I assured her that I would be fine. The rest of the night we spent with eachother. I prepared for the battle that was to come, and Bastila was my support.
The next day we left the temple and went to help the Republic. The meeting we had had before hand with the Master's was a complete flop. They dimissed anything and everything me and Malak had to say to them. We left with the others who had chosen to follow us out to war.
I remember seeing Bastila watch me that day. She wasn't smiling, but had a detached expression on her face. I turned to her and gave her a sly smile, mouthing the words "I love you" before turning around. A small smile came to her face and she waved goodbye to me as Malak and I left to help in the war effort.
Within a few months we were able to cripple the Mandolorian war efforts. It had been hard but we pulled through. We had become hero's of the Republic, but the Jedi council thought otherwise.
After the war though something had happened to Malak and I. We sought power, and it was then that we began searching for the Star Forge. I began to feel the power of the Dark side within those months that we searched. It was power, power I could use to destroy all that opposed me.
I became Darth Revan.
After recieving this new found power I sought after those who had opressed me before all of this. The Jedi Council. I sought out to cripple the Jedi order and take all that they stood for. I remember going back to the Temple one night when all slept, to seek out Bastila.
I had told her of my plans to bring the galaxy to its feet with me as ruler of all. Bastila had stated that I had changed and that was was worried for me and thought it would be best that I go and see the master's with her.
Things with Bastila only grew worse and I had to brand her as an enemy too.
I fought throught many worlds. One after another fell under my control. It was power I had wanted, and now I was recieving it. However like the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. The things I considered good anyway.
The Jedi exploited my weakness in one battle. Bastila and a strike team had boarded my vessel and sought to destroy and capture, I guess you can say. I was at lost for what to do. Me. Revan. I didn't want to hurt Bastila even after she had rejected me for long. The strike team had made it to the cockpit and I heard heradress mein a cold tone. "You cannot win Revan."
In response I drew my lightsaber.
Little did I know, Malak would betray me that very day. He fired upon me ship. Seeing the predicament I was in, I called upon the Force to protect Bastila from the blast. However, I was a different story. The blast had rendered me unconcious and injured beyond belief.
The last thing I remember seeing was Bastila falling backwards along with various other Jedi that were with her on the strike team. I sank into the eternal darkness that was now clouding my vision.
When I came to I felt groggy but it was warm wherever I was. Someone was stroking my head. It was Bastila. My vision finally cleared. I felt numb all over as the feeling came back to my body. I was in my bunk again, my head was in Bastila's lap. She smiled, "Revan?"
I looked over to the side and then up at her. "...What happened?"
"You passed out by the medbay. Are you alright?" she asked.
I nodded slowly, closing my eyes, and turning over on my side.
"...Did you have any dreams?" she inquired.
"I did in fact. One of the past." I mumbled.
Bastila shifted her weight. "Lean up." I groaned, turning over on my side as I lifted my head off of Bastila's lap. She slid down into the covers next to me and we snuggled up against eachother for body warmth. "What was it about?"
I felt the feeling of fatigue began to pull at my mind. "Me...you. Our history before this whole thing." I opened my eyes halfway. "...A few moments we shared." I smirked slightly.
She blushed, then smiled at me and I gave her a weak smile back. "Get some rest, we should be arriving in Coruscant in a day or so." I nodded slightly, closing my eyes, snuggling deeper into the sheets with Bastila. I heard her mention something about Coruscant before I was finally fell asleep.
From here on out I just want to do things right. No light. No darkness. Just me. I was going to listen to what my heart tells me. Not my mind. My heart. I am Revan, not the Dark Lord of the Sith, or the Prodigal Knight…
I'm just Revan.