Disclaimer: You know I don't own anything Mediator. I also don't own any of the chapter titles (I named them after my favorite songs, just so ya know) I do however own "Blatant Attraction" The band. Except for maybe Josie. I'm a little confused with this whole disclaimer thing. I also own J.T. because SHE IS I!!! Well not really. I would never kill myself, let alone do it because someone I never even met did it. Though a few months ago I was ito the whole suicide thing. I'm completely over it now. It was stupid, it wasn't me. I'm too happy. Okay as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted by, um...me. J.T is just based on me, she is not really me. I would never do some of the stuff I plan for her to do. But then again, I would do some of it too. Wow this is a long disclaimer.

Summary: oh come on, you've read three chapters, I think you'd know what it's about!!!

A/N: Okay before I start blabbing about myself again (I really am conceded aren't I?) I would like to thank all my reviewers!! Sweetest reject, pens in potatoes, Lola, teen-princess, roomate153 and myself (yes I reviewed my self, got a problem with that?). And also a big thanks to Sunny Dragoness, who is the only one who has reviewed my poem, Shadow. (Even though she didn't read the book). Yes I'm trying to guilt you into reading it! I want to know whether it is bad or not.

I don't really feel like rambling any more, I think I did enough of it in the disclaimer. So enjoy chapter 4! (it is four right?) oh ya. You know from "Shadowland" the ghost that tried to bury Suze alive with the Mission's roof? Kelly's friend? Her name was Heather right? Well, I forget so her name is Heather in this.

Oh ya, for the last chapter sorry there were so many mistakes! It was like 3 am when I wrote it and I was too tired to proofread and edit it. I fixed most of them though, so it should be good.

Chapter 4: Rapid Hope Loss

Okay, I was surprised. More then surprised, I was freaked out. Even more so then realizing what I had done with Paul, which is saying a lot.

"P-paul, Simon, you can see me!? How..." She looked between Paul and I then she looked at Josie, whom, it seemed, she was already acquainted with. "Jose, how can they see me?"

"They can see me and J.T. too, you know. You're not that special." Ah, good ol' Josie. I knew we had a lot in common. You know a disliking the same person can bring people closer together. "They're mediators, they can see all ghost." She answered Kelly's question, while rolling her eyes.

"Oh, that would explain why they're such freaks." Retorted Kelly, obviously undisturbed by Josie's hatred. Paul didn't seem hurt by Kelly's remark. Well, why would he? I've called him way worse. And he obviously wasn't going to do anything. I, on the other hand, was going to do something.

"Uh huh. Well, Kelly I'm your only way off this world, cuz Paul doesn't do charity cases and there's no other mediators around." Accidentally-on-purpose forgetting about Father D. "And really don't want you around. So either you can make it easy for all of us, and tell me what's holding you back. Or, if you refuse to cooperate, I could always exorcise you like I did with Heather." I gave her a meaningful glance. Paul and Josie, who don't know about Heather, were looking at me like they thinking 'are you trying to make her angry, cuz I don't think that's gonna work'. J.T could really care less about Kelly or me. She was off staring, not at Josie as one would think, but at the door. But since I was too busy waiting for Kelly's reaction, I didn't bother looking at the door, which was behind me.

Since Heather was Kelly's best friend when she was alive I had obviously found a sore spot. "You did what to Heather?" She practically screeched in my face. "You exorcised Heather!? How dare you, you bitch!!!!" And then she slapped me. To give her some credit I don't think she expected it to hurt me. She probably just thought her hand would go right through me, like in movies and stuff.

I touched my cheek softly, man did that hurt. Paul looked up at Kelly and told her: "You shouldn't have done that. Suze hits back, and hard." But Kelly just laughed, like she didn't believe I would dare hit her. Well, she soon found out that I would, hit her back I mean.

But when I started slamming my fist into Kelly's face and vair familiar voice shouted "Susannah!" and felt myself being pulled away from Kelly. I was truned around and found myself face to face with Jesse.

"Oh hey Jesse. I'm in the middle of something now so could you please let go of me?" but he just shook his head. Kelly, looking scared, just dematerialized. "Great, now she's gone. How am I supposed to bring her to Shadowland now?"

He ignored that he seemed angry. "What are you doing with that (insert Spanish here)" he indicated Paul.

"Hey Jesse. How's it going?" Guess Paul was taking our deal seriously. I come over so he can teach me shifter stuff and he acts nice to Jesse. Jesse was surprised. He just gaped at Paul. I hope he didn't know about me making out with Paul. Oh god.

"That's Jesse!? Suze, wow. Too mega studs fighting over you. Tch! Some girls get all the fun." Josie sat besides Paul and started to whisper him. He whispered something back. What were they talking about? But I had bigger things to deal with.

"Uh, Jesse, how long have you been here?"

"Not long." Phew! So he doesn't know about Paul and me. Good. He turned to J.T. I thought she had left. But no, she was still staring at. "Jacqueline..." What!? He knew her? How?

"No, I'm J.T, her great-great-great-granddaughter. But I've seen pictures of you. I've seen your letters too. They're romantic. I have the ring you gave her too, Hector, it's a family heirloom." With that she shoved her hand at Jesse. There was the most beautiful ring I have ever seen. The band was silver and made to look like it had thorns on it. There was a sparkling ruby, too. It was shaped like a rose. "My mother tells Jacqueline's story to me sometimes. How you and her were madly in love. But you were betrothed already to your cousin. You promised you'd break off the wedding, but you disappeared. She thought you married Maria. She was heart broken, Hector. What happened?"

Jesse looked uncomfortable. Well everyone in the room was looking at him. J.T. expectantly. And the rest of us in shock. Though Paul had a bit of triumph in his gaze.

Jesse didn't say anything. He looked at me, then J.T. then Paul, then back to me. It was completely silent. I couldn't take it anymore.

"Jesse what is she talking about." I kept my voice neutral. "No, never mind. I get it now. That's why you why Maria killed you, because you were going to marry someone else. You must have really loved her to risk your life for her." I tried to look him in the eyes but he wouldn't look at me.

J.T. realizing what she had done looked around and said: "I think I left the stove on, I, er, should go, and you know, turn it off." And she left. After a few more minutes of silence Jesse looked at me. "Querida...." I stopped him.

"Don't call me that. I was never your querida. That Jacqueline" I said her name like she was a man-eating virus. Actually, I said it how I used to say Paul's. "was. I thought you loved me, Jesse. I guess I was wrong. I was just someone to play with until you were with your precious girlfriend in heaven." No matter how much I hated Jesse right now I knew he was going to heaven. Even though my heart was shattered to tiny little bit-size peaces, I knew he was going to Heaven. "But Jesse, I love you." And with that, I touched his arm, and pictured the Shadowland.

The mist lick at my legs, and the stars winked at me. The hallway went on forever, with those doors. Even though I have been here before, I was still scared shitless.

"Susannah," Jesse took my face in his hands, forcing me to face him. "Querida. I do love you. I do." He kissed me. Knowing that this was our last kiss ever I didn't pull away. The kiss lasted for eternity, it seemed like. And it felt like we were melting together, becoming one. I felt tears. They weren't mine, they were Jesse's.

"Querida, I'm sorry. Forgive me."

"Yes, I forgive you. Goodbye Jesse." I pictured Paul's bedroom. I thought heard Jesse say "Goodbye my love." But by then I was already back in my body, crying. I looked around the cold, impersonal room. Paul was gone, but Josie wasn't. "Oh Suze!" she yelled and then I found myself in her arms. I realized that she was right. People, even me, look at her and immediately think she'd kick our ass. But she's really nice. "Suze, don't worry, the pain will go away someday."

Paul came back holding a tub of Ben and Jerry's and three spoons. "I got some ice cream. I hear girls consume it by the tonne after a breakup." And sat besides me, giving each of us a spoon. Paul didn't seem in tip-top shape either as he took a spoonful in chocolate chip ice cream. But I guess I understand. Hearing the girl you love say that she loves a dead guy probably doesn't leave the best feeling.

"Paul, I'm so sorry." But all I got was a sad smile.

A/N: there you go! I hope you liked it! I just completely wrecked my plan for the story but I like this better. Though I don't know how it will end now......