Author's Note: This story has a little yaoi in it. Don't say I didn't warn you. Sasuke and Naruto are 16, Konohamaru is 12. This is not meant as anything serious, just a silly idea that popped into my head this morning and wouldn't leave.


Sexy Jutsu

Konohamaru smirked as he formed the seals for the transforming jutsu, confident of his coming victory. Yesterday he had finally become a genin, and today he would defeat his rival and friend, Uzumaki Naruto. Then he would be well and truly on his way to becoming Hokage himself, just like his grandfather.

Across the small clearing, the blonde stood lazily in a realxed defensive pose, clearly not suspecting the surprise Konohamaru had in store for him. Of course, all the other times Konohamaru had tried to turn the Sexy Jutsu against its creator, he had failed, so Naruto had little reason to suspect danger. But this time, Konohamaru knew, things would turn out differently. This time, he would transform into a subject he absolutely knew would drive Naruto mad with lust.

It hadn't been easy. Following Naruto around, trying to figure out who he liked, had been difficult enough. Once Konohamaru had discerned the object of the blonde's affections, however, things had gotten even tougher. The Sarutobi heir, now 12, had spent many tense hours watching his target swim in streams and practice in the woods, memorizing every angle, every curve of that body, knowing that getting caught would mean death, or at least a severe pummeling.

All that hard work would pay off now, though. Naruto was definitely going to be knocked out by this one.

Forming the final seal, Konohamaru shouted the activating word and smirked as he transformed into a completely naked copy of suave, handsome Uchiha Sasuke.

Naruto's eyes bulged.

Naruto's face turned red.

Naruto's jaw dropped.

And then Naruto fell to the ground, laughing raucously. He rolled around, pounding the grass with his fists as tears of mirth flowed from his eyes. "BWAHAHAHA!" he roared, "That's the funniest thing I've seen in months!"

Konohamaru scowled and released the jutsu, thinking, That's not exactly what I was going for. Still, he'd at least knocked Naruto over, so it was a partial victory. Next time, he'd get Naruto for sure.


"I don't understand what's so funny," Sasuke complained as Naruto snickered around a mouthful of noodles. "Did he get something wrong?"

"Most of it was dead on," Naruto replied after swallowing, "He must have been watching you for a while."

Sasuke decided he would probably have to give the kid a beating, Sandaime's grandson or no.

"However," Naruto continued, "he messed up on one little detail." He giggled, and added, "One really little detail."

"What?" Sasuke asked his blonde boyfriend, still confused.

"Most of him looked like you, but part of him still looked like a little boy."

"Which part?"

Naruto smirked, leaned closer to the Uchiha, and whispered, "One of my favorite parts of Sasuke-kun's body." Beneath the cover of the ramen stand's counter, Naruto's hand slid between Sasuke's legs and cupped the larger boy's crotch, just to make sure his meaning was clear.

"Oh," Sasuke said, not sure whether he should laugh or scowl. On the one hand, that was rather funny. On the other hand, he was going to beat the shit out of Konohamaru. It was probably just a mistake by the boy, but Sasuke was not amused that anyone thought his muscular, sixteen-year-old body was equipped with a twelve-year-old's tiny penis.

And on the other other hand, if Naruto kept petting the large and growing bulge between Sasuke's legs, he was going to have serious trouble restraining himself from taking the blonde right there on the counter in the Ichiraku.

With the kind of speed only a ninja could manage, Sasuke opened his wallet and slammed some cash down on the counter. Then he spun around and started dragging Naruto across the street towards the blonde's apartment.

"Sasuke, what..?" Naruto asked, but he was cut off as the onyx-eyed boy whirled around and kissed him hungrily right in the middle of the street, the most public display of affection Sasuke had ever allowed himself. Let's see Konohamaru match that! he thought as Naruto moaned into his mouth.

"Come on," Sasuke practically growled, turning around and dragging the blonde along again. "I'm going to show you a 'sexy jutsu' you'll never forget."

And Naruto flashed a grin that said, "I win again."

The End